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Topic Review (Newest First)
Apr 26th, 2010 06:32 PM

i almost posted both of those quotes instead of great scott
Apr 23rd, 2010 06:47 AM
Pentegarn Heavy? There's that word again.... heavy... Is there some problem in the future with Earth's gravitational pull?
Apr 22nd, 2010 11:29 PM
Colonel Flagg Whoa, Doc, that's HEAVY!
Apr 22nd, 2010 08:34 PM
kahljorn GREAT ScOTT!
Apr 20th, 2010 11:29 AM
Apr 20th, 2010 10:38 AM
Colonel Flagg Is this the fanfic that Jeanette was going on about?
Apr 20th, 2010 09:14 AM
Zhukov I'm chewing some RIGHT NOW. Kitsa sent me some.
Apr 20th, 2010 08:02 AM
Pentegarn You know what I haven't had in awhile? Big League Chew
Apr 20th, 2010 01:48 AM
Sam O RLY?
Apr 20th, 2010 01:41 AM
Fathom Zero Holy shit.
Apr 20th, 2010 01:40 AM
7019 Divine Eagle, Gallant Knight

Li Mochou laughed and said, “You can do such unspeakable things, yet you are afraid of others talking about it?” Yang Guo used the sword sheath and attacked continuously; it was severe and pressed forward without restraint. It was the sword skills left by Wang Chongyang to counter Lin Chaoying’s Jade Sword techniques. Li Mochou didn’t dare to be careless; she used her fly whisk and concentrated on the incoming stances. The techniques of Li Mochou’s whisk originated from the Jade Sword techniques; many stances passed and she felt the opponent’s sword skills were extremely refined and ingenious. Every stance and every move of hers was predicted by the opponent and was intercepted by him. If were not for the fact that she was much more powerful than he, she would have begun to lose. She thought with anger, “Master was really biased; only teaching apprentice sister this set of sword techniques. Huh, she probably wanted apprentice sister to use this to neutralize me. Although this sword technique is extraordinary, does that mean I’m going to be afraid of it?” She changed her stance and suddenly moved forward, leaping onto a table, her right leg kicked out, her left leg supporting herself on the top of the table. Her body moved back and forth without effort, like a leaf floating in the breeze. She laughed and said, “Did your lover teach you this move? I don’t think even she will know this one.” Yang Guo was alarmed and angrily said, “What lover?” Li Mochou laughed, “My apprentice sister had sworn a serious oath, if there wasn’t a man who was willing to die for her, she would spend eternity in the tomb and never set foot off the mountain. She has followed you down from the mountain; you two aren’t husband and wife, if she isn’t your lover then who is?” Yang Guo was extremely angry and didn’t reply; he rushed forward with the sword sheath and leaped onto the table. His lightness kung fu couldn’t compare with his opponents’ so he didn’t step on the top of the table, he stepped on some bowls but he remained steady and chopped across fiercely with the sheath. Li Mochou raised her fly whisk and repelled the sheath. She laughed and said, “Your lightness kung fu is not bad! Your lover has treated you well, it could be said that she loved you very much.” Yang Guo was furious and couldn’t restrain himself, he shouted, “The one called Li, are you a human? Are you speaking a human language?” He raised his sheath and quickly attacked again. Li Mochou calmly said, “If you don’t want others to know then don’t give them anything to know about. My Ancient Tomb sect has come up with these two scum; we have lost all face.” As she was attacking, she incessantly came out with sarcastic comments. She may be ruthless but when she spoke she was normally polite and courteous; what she was saying now was against her character. It was because she was worried about Xiao Longnu watching from the side, if she suddenly came out and attacked it would be difficult for her to fight them off, so she kept up the insults, wanting to make Xiao Longnu so ashamed that she wouldn’t appear. Yang Guo could not bear it, if she was insulting him, he wouldn’t care but Xiao Longnu was the one being insulted. With such anger, his arms and legs shivered, his head felt faint, his eyes suddenly went blank and he couldn’t stand up and fell from the table. Li Mochou raised her fly whisk and attacked down onto the crown of his head. Yelu Qi saw that this was an urgent situation; he picked up some wine cups and threw them at Li Mochou. Li Mochou heard the wind sounds and took a glance; it was some wine cups, she breathed deeply and protected the pressure points on her back. She had to kill Yang Guo now and worry about this later, thinking, why should she be worried about two little wine cups. Who would have thought that before the cups arrived the wine splashed out, she felt her ‘Two Yang’, and ‘Central’ pressure points go numb after being hit by the wine, she secretly thought, “Crap! Apprentice sister is here. If the effects of the wine are like this, what about the wine cups?” She quickly turned her fly whisk around and knocked the two wine cups away just in time. She felt her arms shake, and was even more worried, “How did she get so strong?” When she turned around, she saw that it wasn’t Xiao Longnu who shot the cups out, it was a tall young man dressed in Mongolian clothes, and she was extremely surprised. “Are there so many good fighters in the younger generation?” She saw him take out his long sword and clearly say, “The Angelic Priestess’s attacks are ruthless; I want to experience a few stances.” Li Mochou saw him slowly advancing, his foot steps solid. He was about twenty or so, but judging from how he shot out the cups and how he was moving with his sword, his internal energy exceeded his age. She examined him and laughed, “Who are you? Who is your Master?” Yelu Qi bowed and said, “I am Yelu Qi, I’m under the tutelage of the Quanzhen sect.” Yang Guo had leapt to the side, when he heard that Yelu Qi was from the Quanzhen sect he thought, “He indeed is from Quanzhen; could he be Liu Chuxuan’s disciple? Hao Datong can’t teach something to such a standard.” Li Mochou asked, “Is your Master Ma Yu or Qiu Chuji?” Yelu Qi said, “No.” Li Mochou asked, “Is it Liu, Wang or Hao?” Yelu Qi said, “Wrong as well.” Li Mochou chuckled and pointed to Yang Guo, “He said he was the disciple of Wang Chongyang that makes you two apprentice brothers.” Yelu Qi was surprised and said, “It’s not true is it? Elder Chongyang died a long time ago, how can that brother over there be his disciple?” Li Mochou’s brows wrinkled and said, “Hei, hei, Quanzhen has many disciples who can lie without blinking, I’m going to change Quanzhen’s name into ‘Quanjia’, prepare!” (Quanzhen could be translated as Whole Truth, Quanjia is translated as Whole Fake.) Her fly whisk moved and attacked his head. Yelu Qi’s left hand raised his sword, his left foot stepped forward, a stance of “Fixed Yang Needle”, the sword was thrust upwards, it was the orthodox sword skills of Quanzhen. This stance’s air and chi were absolute, the strength, power and movement all has its fine points. At first appearance it looks very ordinary, but to reach a state where there was no weakness is incredible. People whose talent is just slightly lacking may not be able to reach such a state with a lifetime of practice. Yang Guo had learned the Quanzhen sword techniques in the Ancient Tomb so of course he knew the essence of the sword skills; but he just learned it without really practicing it. No matter what, he would not be able to demonstrate this stance with such profoundness. When Li Mochou saw him unleashing this stance she knew that he was a strong enemy, she strode across and lashed her fly whisk. Yelu Qi saw a grey blur move, the fly whisk’s threads were to the left and back of him, sweeping in from all directions, his battle experience was shallow and this is the first time he has met a strong enemy; he concentrated and used all his strength to fight her. In a flash forty stances were exchanged, Yelu Qi coiled his sword back slightly, he saw defeat in front of him but if Li Mochou wanted to win right now, she would not succeed. She secretly praised him, “This little punk is indeed using the refined skills of Quanzhen; although he can’t compare with Qiu, Liu and Wang, he wouldn’t lose to Sun Bu’Er. There are indeed many able people in Quanzhen. A few more stances passed when Li Mochou made a dummy move. Yelu Qi didn’t know it was trap, he raised his sword and thrust forward, Li Mochou suddenly threw out her left leg and struck his wrist. Yelu Qi’s arm was in pain, the sword escaped from his hands. Though he was being defeated he didn’t panic, his left hand slashed across, his right hand used the “Trapping Hand Techniques” to try to steal her fly whisk. Li Mochou smiled and praised him, “Very handsome kung fu!” After many moves, she felt that his techniques had extreme softness, Liu Chuxuan and Sun Bu’Er and the others did not have this; she was secretly surprised. Yang Guo interrupted with an insult, “Bitch, I’ll never acknowledge you as my Martial Aunt ever again.” He raised the sword sheath and attacked. Li Mochou saw Yelu Qi’s sword had fallen, she wrapped the sword with her fly whisk and shot it out at Yang Guo’s face and laughed, saying, “You are your Master’s man; you could call me apprentice sister.” Yang Guo saw the incoming sword and raised his sword sheath forward. Lu Wushuang and Wanyan Ping both called out in alarm, but there was a ‘shua’ noise as the sword was shot into the sword sheath exactly. The placement of the sheath to catch the sword was extremely difficult. If the sheath was just a millimeter or so out and with the force that Li Mochou shot the sword with, the sword would have pierced his chest. However, he had learned the art of projectile throwing in the Ancient Tomb, the timing, weight and accuracy of his skills had reached a stage where there weren’t any errors. The hair like ‘Jade Bee Needle’ would hit its target as soon as he shoots it out, so catching the sword with the sheath wasn’t a difficult skill for him. He took the sword out of the sheath and attacked with Yelu Qi. The tables and benches were all overturned, bowls were broken, and all the guests had long gone. In all the time that Hong Lingbo had been with her Master, she has never seen her losing in battle. She lost out to Xiao Longnu in the Ancient Tomb because she couldn’t swim. Her fly whisk was snatched away by Yang Guo but was taken back immediately and she forced Yang Guo to back away. Watching the two teaming up and attacking her Master, she was slightly worried about her but she stood to the side and watched. The three of them fought engagingly in battle; Li Mochou changed her stances, her fly whisk producing strong winds, forcing the two to wobble. In a flash, Yang Guo and Yelu Qi faced some dangerous stances. Yelu Yan and Wanyan Ping both called out; “Oh no.” They both stepped up to help. After using just three stances, Yelu Yan was struck on the left leg with the fly whisk; she was flung to the side and knocked into a table. Yelu Qi saw that his sister was hurt and became flustered, under the fierce attack of Li Mochou he kept retreating backwards. The girl in blue green saw the situation was urgent, she dashed forward to take Yelu Yan out of the danger. Li Mochou’s eyes saw everything and ears heard everything. She saw that the girl’s movements were light, displaying signs that she was a disciple of a famous name; she swung her fly whisk across her face and asked, “What is Miss’s name? Who is your Master?” There was a distance of over ten feet between them, in a flash the fly whisk was swung in front of her face. The girl in blue green was startled, her right hand waved out; from her sleeve she took out a weapon, and blocked the fly whisk. Li Mochou saw that this weapon was extremely strange, it glittered like a gem, it was about one meter long and it looked like a jade flute, she searched her mind, “Which sect or family uses such a weapon?” She quickly attacked wanting her to display her skills. The girl could not hold on, Yang Guo and Yelu Qi dashed forward to help. But it was hard to defend against Li Mochou’s swift and fluent style. Stances from the east and palms from the west, in a flash danger came again. Yang Guo thought, “All we’ve got to do is make one little mistake and our lives would be hard to protect.” He opened his mouth and called out, “My good Wifey, sister, my sister in blue green, sister Yelu, let’s all leave the restaurant and take a break! This Bitch is very lethal.” The four girls saw him calling out madly; no one could say a word, they frowned and saw it was now a very urgent and desperate situation. Lu Wushuang first went downstairs followed by the girl in blue green who was supporting Yelu Yan. The two beggars saw the young heroes fighting Li Mochou because of them, they wanted to go forward and help but their arms were broken and they couldn’t fight. The two were very loyal, although Li Mochou was not watching them; they didn’t dare to leave before Yang Guo and the others. Yang Guo and Yelu Qi fought together against Li Mochou’s stances, which were becoming more and more lethal; they carried Wanyan Ping and retreated downstairs. Yang Guo said, “Brother Yelu, our movements are restricted, let’s go downstairs and fight.” He thought that once they were in a crowded place, they would be able to escape. Yelu Qi said, “Fine!” The two stood shoulder to shoulder and retreated down the stairs. Li Mochou kept on attacking, although she was winning she was angry, “In my life, whoever I wanted to kill I killed; today two young punks are blocking my way, if that little Bitch Lu Wushuang escapes, where will the great name of the ‘Scarlet Serpent Deity’ go?” She wanted to snatch back Lu Wushuang and so attacked down the stairs. Everyone fought with all their strength; they battled from the restaurant into the street, from the street they battled into the suburbs. Yang Guo kept on calling out, “Good Wifey, my dear sister the further you run the better. Sister Yelu and my sister in blue green, you’d better leave, the two of us won’t die.” Yelu Qi didn’t say a word; he was older than Yang Guo by only a few years, but he had a serious and stern air, completely different to Yang Guo’s easy going, rash and hot-tempered personality. The two of them fought together against the enemy, Yelu Qi dealt with the ruthless attacks of the enemy, Yang Guo darted around to divert the enemy’s attention. Li Mochou saw that Xiao Longnu had not appeared and was now at ease, she concentrated on the battle. The internal energy that Yang Guo and Yelu Qi had accumulated could not compare with Li Mochou’s. As they battled to this point, the two of them were red faced and out of breath. When Li Mochou saw this she was pleased, “In under an hour I’ll be able to take their lives.” At this moment, the air was suddenly filled with the calls of birds, the calls were clear, two large eagles attacked her head, four wings created gusts of wind, dirt and dust filled the area, the force of the calls was tremendous. Yang Guo knew that it was the pair of eagles that belonged to the Guo couple. When he was younger, he had played with the eagles on Peach Blossom Island; since the eagles were here, the Guo couple would be nearby. He had expelled himself from Chongyang Palace and didn’t want to see Guo Jing again; he quickly leapt back many steps and put on the human skin mask. The eagles flew left and right, up and down, their wings attacking Li Mochou incessantly. The two eagles had a very good memory; they kept in their hearts what had happened years ago when they suffered the pain of the ‘Soul Freezing Needles’. When they saw her from faraway they immediately came and attacked, but they were still afraid of her needles, every time she waved her hands, they quickly circled around. Yelu Qi was watching carefully and knew that it would be hard for the two eagles to win, he called out, “Brother Yang, let’s go again, how would she cope with the four of us?” He was about to dash forward when he heard the sounds of horse hoofs from the southeast; a horse was galloping straight for this place. The horse was extremely fast, by the time the sounds of hoof beats reached him, the horse was in front of him, it was long and tall, covered in red fur, its spirit was amazing. Li Mochou and Yelu Qi were both startled, “How can this horse gallop so fast?” There was a girl in red on the horse’s back; the girl and horse looked like an oncoming flame, the only thing that wasn’t red was the girl’s white face. Yang Guo saw the eagles and red horse and knew that it was the daughter of Guo Jing and Huang Rong, Guo Fu. He saw her reign in the horse, the horse immediately held its ground. The horse stopped after being ordered to, it didn’t make a sound and was composed. Yelu Qi grew up in Mongolia, he has seen countless spirited horses; but one with such a magnificent air he had never seen, he couldn’t stop himself from being surprised. He didn’t know that this horse was a blood sweating precious horse that Guo Jing obtained from the plains of Mongolia. Then it was just a foal, now it was grown up and could be said to be in its senior years; but this extraordinary horse was different from other horses in old age, its bones and muscles were extremely strong, it hadn’t lost any of its strength in its transition to old age. Yang Guo hadn’t seen Guo Fu for a long time. He remembered she was an arrogant and bullying little girl; now she had grown into a young girl who was as pleasant as a spring flower. After riding urgently for a time, sweat had formed on her forehead; her cheeks reflected her red dress and looked even more glamorous. She looked at the eagles for a while and then glanced at Yelu Qi and the others. She saw Yang Guo dressed in the Mongolian uniform wearing the human skin mask; his face was extremely strange, she frowned, showing signs of disrespect. Yang Guo and she had never got along since they were young. He saw her looking at him with disgust and his feelings of hate and humility were strengthened. He thought, “You don’t respect me but does that mean that I want you to look upon me with respect? Your father is a living hero, your mother is the chief of the Beggar Clan, your grandfather is one of the prominent martial artists in the world; there is no one who doesn’t look at the Guo family with respect. What about my father and mother? My mother was a country girl and I don’t know who my father was. He died without reason. I don’t want to compare myself with you; I was born into hardship, and suffered the abuse of others. If you try to insult me again I won’t care.” He stood aside, feeling hurt and wretched; he felt that no one in the world looked upon him highly; there was no good reason to live on in this world. Only his Master Xiao Longnu treated him with love, but where is she now? Is there going to be a day in this lifetime when they will see each other again? His heart was filled with sorrow; he heard the sound of horse hoofs and two more horses rode arrived. One of the horses was grey, the other yellow, they both were good quality animals but there was a big gap when compared to Guo Fu’s red horse. On the horses were two young men, both of them wearing yellow. Guo Fu called out, “Wu Brothers, it’s the evil woman again.” The young men on the horse were the Wu brothers, Wu Dunru and Wu Xiuwen. Both of them saw Li Mochou; she was the person who killed their mother. In these past few years there wasn’t a day when they didn’t remember this. Who could have thought that they would meet again here; they quickly leapt off the horses, each drew out a long sword and attacked from the left and right. Guo Fu called out, “I’m going as well.” She took out a precious sword by the horse’s reigns and leapt off the horse to help. Li Mochou saw that the longer the battle went on the more enemies there were; even though they were young. As soon as the two young men came forward, their faces and eyes red, they fought fiercely with their lives; the sword techniques refined showing that they were under the tutelage of a famous Master. The young girl in red joined in as well; as soon as she attacked the tip of her sword quivered slightly, sparkling in the eye, the sword thrust forward. Buried within the stance was an extremely lethal secondary aim, though the internal energy was weak, the sword technique was profound and ingenious. Her heart shivered and she called out, “You are Peach Blossom’s Island Miss Guo?” Guo Fu chuckled and said, “So you know me.” She unleashed two stances aiming to harm her chest. Li Mochou raised her fly whisk and blocked the stances, thinking, “This little girl is very arrogant; attacking me without respect with your lowly skills. If I wasn’t afraid of incurring your parent’s wrath, even if there were ten of you, I’d kill you all.” The fly whisk flipped around, she wanted to take away her long sword, when suddenly the sounds of wind came from each side; the Wu brothers thrust forward at the same time. Guo Jing taught the Wu brothers and Guo Fu martial arts personally; the three lived and played together on the island, their sword skills were the same. The three sword skills were tightly matched, the advance and retreat complimented each other, although it wasn’t some kind of formation. As the swords came forward, the force of it wasn’t weak. The three and the pair of eagles continuously attacked, placing Li Mochou in their confinement. With the ability of the three, in a little while longer Li Mochou could definitely hurt one of them and the other two would not be able to protect themselves. But in front of her were many enemies, if she attacked forward it still wouldn’t be easy for her. And if she forced the Guo couple to come out and attack, she wouldn’t be able to escape; she took back her fly whisk and chuckled, “Little babies, watch how the ‘Scarlet Serpent Deity’ fights monkeys.” She unleashed six stances in a row, every stance aimed to harm, forcing Guo Fu and the Wu Brothers to scurry, leaping and jumping around to avoid the stances, they did look a bit like monkeys jumping around. Li Mochou stood on her left leg and laughed, she turned around and called out, “Lingbo, let’s go!” The two of them hurried away in a northwest direction. Guo Fu called out, “She’s scared of us, go after them!” She ran after them. The Wu brothers utilized their lightness kung fu and followed. Li Mochou waved and brandished her fly whisk behind her, carefree and smoothly. Not an ounce of dust rose from beneath her feet and she lightly floated away as though walking slowly. Hong Lingbo ran hurriedly. Guo Fu and the Wu brothers increased the energy in their legs but the distance between them and the Li Mochou Master and disciple was getting greater and further away. Only the pair of eagles were faster; they repeatedly attacked. Wu Dunru saw that they would not be able to take their revenge today so he whistled and called the eagles back. Yelu Qi and the others were afraid that the three of them would lose the battle and hurried to meet up with them; only to see Guo Fu and the others returning. They went forward and greeted them. All of them were young, and in just a few words they spoke with great joviality. Yelu Qi suddenly thought of something and called out, “Where’s brother Yang?” Wanyan Ping said, “He left by himself. I asked him where he was going but he ignored me.” She hung her head after she said this. Yelu Qi hurried to a hill and took a look all around, only to see the girl in blue green walking shoulder to shoulder with Lu Wushuang faraway. There wasn’t a trace of Yang Guo. Yelu Qi felt at a sense of loss; the first time they met they fought together to repel an enemy, though it was for just a short time; but their lives were on the line so many times and both shared a bitter hate for the enemy. Now he had suddenly disappeared without a trace, it was as if he had lost an old friend. When Yang Guo saw the Wu brothers arrive with Guo Fu, they attacked Li Mochou; the three of them were very close, the sword skills they used were refined and in a few moves they had driven Li Mochou back. But he didn’t know that Li Mochou left because she was worried about the Guo couple. It was not because buried within the sword stances were extremely strong internal energies that forced her to flee. That day when Guo Jing took him to Mount Zhongnan to learn martial arts, he had seen him show his might, defeating countless Quanzhen Taoists. His martial arts were extremely high. This was etched into Yang Guo’s young mind, and he thought that disciples of Guo Jing would be ten times better than him. He thought of worrying about himself first. When he saw Guo Fu and the Wu’s unleash their superb stances, he assumed that there must be some kind of ingenuity and mastery behind it. He was getting angrier as he watched. He remembered how he had fought with the Wu brothers when they were younger, with Guo Fu by the side calling out, “Hit him harder, harder!” And remembered how Huang Rong deliberately chose not to teach him martial arts and Guo Jing with his great skills did not dare to pass on any martial arts to him. Instead he sent him to Chongyang Palace to suffer torture and abuse. He felt anger and hatred in his chest, he couldn’t stop himself; then he saw Wanyan Ping, Lu Wushuang, the girl in blue green, Yelu Yan all looking at him. They looked surprised and he thought, “You believe the insults that Li Mochou called out at my Gu Gu. It doesn’t matter if you look down on me but how can you dare to look down on my Gu Gu? My face is angry because I’m angry at Guo Fu, the Wu brothers, Uncle Guo and Auntie Guo. You think that I’ve done unspeakable things with my Gu Gu and that’s why I look like this, is that it?” He suddenly ran away; he didn’t follow the main roads and just ran without thinking into the wild lands. Right now he couldn’t pull himself together; he thought that everyone in the world was against him. He didn’t remember that he was wearing the human skin mask, although there was jealousy, hate and anger on his face, how could Wanyan Ping and the others see this? Why would others laugh at him for no reason at all? Li Mochou’s infamy is well known throughout the Wulin world, who could believe what she says? He originally was heading from northwest to southeast, but he wanted to get away from these people as far as possible so turned and headed northwest instead. His heart was in a mess, he loathed the world; he took off his mask and ran madly in the wild hills and mountains. When he was hungry, he plucked some wild fruits and vegetables to ease his hunger. He traveled further and further; within a month, his hair was wild and unkempt, his clothes old and torn, and reached a tall mountain. He didn’t know that this was one of the most famous five mountains in the world, Mount Hua. He saw the mountain was dangerous and rugged; he became mad and climbed up the mountain furiously. Though his lightness kung fu was good, Mount Hua is a dangerous place, one could not climb it on a whim. By the time he was halfway up the mountain, the weather suddenly became cold, the ground became hard, and the north wind gradually blew stronger and flakes of snow began falling from the sky. He was angry; he wanted to torture himself and did not try to find a place to avoid the snow. The stronger the wind and snow, the further he traveled. He carried on until it became night, the snow was heavy, the ground was slippery, and it became harder to recognize the paths. If he stepped into an empty space, he would definitely fall down to his death in the deep valley. He didn’t care and took his life lightly; he looked up and walked forward. After a while, he suddenly heard a light ‘chi’ ‘chi’ sound, it sounded like some kind of beast was traveling in the snow; he immediately turned around and saw the image of a person flash past, darting into a valley. Yang Guo was startled and quickly went over to take a look in the valley. He saw someone hooking his three fingers into the rock, hanging in midair. Yang Guo saw that the three fingers supported the whole body above the valley; this person’s martial arts were extremely high and had reached an unimaginable level. So he politely said, “Old senior please come up!” The person laughed, his voice shaking the valley, his fingers pulled up and he leapt up from the side of the mountain. The person suddenly shouted, “You are with the Five Clowns of the Tibetan Border aren’t you? What are you doing sneaking around here in the middle of the night during a snowstorm?” Yang Guo was scolded for no reason and thought, “What am I doing sneaking around here in the middle of the night during a snowstorm?” This disturbed his thoughts and he suddenly let out a cry; remembering how unlucky he was, suffering the abuse of others, and his most respected and loved one Xiao Longnu blamed him for not understanding and had disappeared. They would probably never meet again in this lifetime. As he cried about this, all his life’s worries and all the resentment and abuse he had suffered surfaced in his mind. When that person saw him cry he was shocked; he heard him getting more pitiful as he cried, and was even more surprised. When the person saw that his cries weren’t going to end he suddenly laughed, the laughter and crying joined together and shook the snow down from the mountaintops. When Yang Guo heard the laugh, his crying stopped and he angrily said, “What are you laughing at?” The person laughed and said, “What are you crying about?” Yang Guo was about to reply hatefully when he remembered this person’s martial arts were extraordinary; he calmed down his anger and politely bowed and said, “Junior is Yang Guo, I hereby greet Senior.” The person held a bamboo rod in his hand, and he lightly pushed him on the arm. Yang Guo did not feel any greet force yet his body couldn’t stop from falling backwards. With the force of that push, one would fall down and have to struggle to get up. But he had learned the “Toad Stance” where one’s legs are above their head; he flipped over in the air and remained upright. Neither of them could have guessed what had just happened. With Yang Guo’s present abilities, making him fall in one push wasn’t easy, even Li Mochou or Qiu Chuji and the like couldn’t do this to him. The other person saw him standing up steadily after flipping over in midair, he widened his eyes and looked at him and asked, “Why are you crying?” When Yang Guo examined him, he was a white haired and bearded old man; the clothes on him were old and torn. It appeared that he was a beggar. Although it was dark, the white snow reflected off him, there was a red glow to his face, yet he looked graceful. Yang Guo’s respect for him became evident and he replied, “I’m a person with a life full of despair, there is no point in living, I should just die.” The old beggar heard that his voice was full of resignation and resentment; the beggar nodded his head and asked, “Who’s bullying you? Quickly tell Grandpa.” Yang Guo said, “My father was killed by someone, but I don’t know who. My mother died from illness, there is no one left in the world who loves or cares for me.” The old beggar gave an ‘en’ grunt and said, “That is sad. Who is the Master who taught you kung fu?” Yang Guo thought, “Auntie Guo technically was my Master but she didn’t teach me any martial arts. Mentioning the Quanzhen Taoists fills me with hate. Ouyang Feng is my godfather, not my Master. My kung fu was taught by Gu Gu, but she said she wants to be my wife. If I said she is my Master she will be angry. Wang Chongyang and Lin Chaoying ancestors left their martial arts in the stone rooms, how can I say they are my Master? I have many Masters but I can’t mention any of them.” This question disturbed his feelings again and he let out a cry again, calling out, “I don’t have a Master, I don’t have a Master!” The old beggar said, “Fine, fine! If you don’t want to say, that’s fine.” Yang Guo sobbed, “It’s not that I don’t want to say, it’s just that I don’t have one.” The old beggar said, “If you haven’t got one, you haven’t got one, what need is there for crying? Do you know the Five Clowns of the Tibetan Border?” Yang Guo said, “I don’t know them.” The old beggar said, “I saw you alone in the dark and thought that you were the friend of the Five Clowns of the Tibetan Border, since you aren’t then that’s good.” This person was the “Nine-Fingered Wondrous Beggar”, Hong Qigong. After he passed on the position of the Chief of the Beggar Clan to Huang Rong, he traveled alone, savoring the world’s finest foods. The weather in Guangdong was pleasant and the amount of exquisite foods endless. Afterwards he went to Lingnan and he had all the food he wanted; for the last ten years he had not returned to the central plains. In the lands of Guangdong, poisonous snakes were used in soups, tough cats were used in stews, fishes were like mice, the prawns were like dragons, fat snails were fried, dragon lice were steamed, the roast piglets had crisp skin and the flesh of simmered fruit was red. Hong Qigong was in heaven, his pleasure boundless. Whenever he saw injustice, he would secretly help; he killed evil doers and punished traitors with his abilities. No one knew where he was or where he went. Sometimes he would listen in on some Beggar Clan members talking; he knew that under the orders of Huang Rong and Lu Youjiao, the Beggar Clan was calm. The internal fight between the ‘dirty’ clothed and ‘clean’ clothed factions was subsiding; so had the outside force of the Jin and the Iron Palm Clan. He had no worries; everyday he would just open his mouth, chew and swallow. This year, the second clown of the Five Clowns of the Tibetan Border killed some innocents in cold blood, killing numerous people. Hong Qigong wanted to take revenge; he was going to kill that clown, but thought killing one person is easy, finding the other four would be hard. So he secretly followed the second clown, waiting for him to meet up with the other four and then he would kill them all at once. But he didn’t predict that he would have to follow him north for thousands of li, eventually winding up at Mount Hua. Right now, four clowns were present, only the first one had yet to arrive. In the middle of the night, Hong Qigong bumped into Yang Guo in the snow. Hong Qigong said, “Let’s stop chatting, I can see you are hungry, let’s cure our hunger first and then we’ll talk some more.” He cleared the snow, found some firewood and made a fire. Yang Guo helped him pick up some firewood and said, “What are you going to cook?” Hong Qigong said, “Centipedes!” Yang Guo knew he was joking and he gave a chuckle and didn’t ask again. Hong Qigong laughed and said, “I’ve chased the Five Tibetan Border Clowns from Lingnan to Mount Hua, if I don’t have something good to eat, how can I say I’m sorry to this?” He patted his stomach. Yang Guo saw that his bones and muscles were distinguished; only his stomach was a bit paunchy. Hong Qigong continued, “Mount Hua is the world’s most cold and shady place; centipedes that are born here are soft and tender. Guangdong is a warm place, living things grow quickly, the centipedes there have tough and coarse flesh. Yang Guo heard that he was serious; it seems that he wasn’t joking, Yang Guo was confused. Hong Qigong surrounded the fire with four stones, he took a pan from his back and placed it on the stones, he took two lumps of snow and placed them in the pan and said, “Follow me to catch some centipedes.” After some ups and downs, they came across a twenty foot tall cliff. Yang Guo saw the cliff was extremely steep and didn’t dare to leap up. Hong Qigong called out, “Useless boy, come up quickly!” Yang Guo hated people who looked down on him, when he heard this he clenched his teeth, his spirit rose and thought, “What’s there to be scared of? If I fall to my death then so be it.” His courage grew and there was more intent in his lightness kung fu when he used it. He followed close to Hong Qigong, in an extremely dangerous and slippery place; he actually managed to pull himself up. In a short while, the pair climbed up to a peak where there were traces of human activity. Hong Qigong saw that he possessed much courage and lightness kung fu and was very pleased. With his experience he couldn’t tell the boy’s martial arts origins, he wanted to ask but remembered about his food so he went over to a rock and dug the soil with his hands. Not long after a dead chicken was revealed. Yang Guo was curious and asked, “Hey, how come there’s a chicken here.” He immediately understood and said, “Ah, Senior must have buried it here.” Hong Qigong gave a chuckle and picked up the chicken. Yang Guo could see clearly in the reflection of the snow; he saw over a hundred centipedes, each about seven or eight inches long, biting into the chicken. The centipedes were large, had red and black stripes and were wiggling about. He had wandered around the world of Jianghu since he was young, he wasn’t afraid of poison but when he suddenly saw the large centipedes he couldn’t refrain from being afraid. Hong Qigong was pleased with himself and said, “Centipedes and chickens are of an opposite nature; I buried this chicken yesterday and indeed it has lured centipedes from all over.” He took out a bundle of cloth and wrapped it around the chicken and centipedes, he descended the peak delightedly. Yang Guo followed behind wondering, “Could it be that you can actually eat centipedes? But judging from his actions, it doesn’t seem like he’s trying to scare me.” The lumps of snow in the pan had now turned to boiling water; Hong Qigong opened his bundle and picked up the centipedes by the tail, and threw them into the pan. The centipedes struggled for a second or two but were soon boiled to death. Hong Qigong said, “Before it dies, the centipede excretes all of its poison, the poison in that pan is incomparable.” Yang Guo threw the pan of poisonous water down the valley. Hong Qigong took out a small knife and chopped off the heads and tails of the centipedes. He took the shell off to reveal the flesh; it was white as snow and was like a large shrimp, quite an attractive sight. Yang Guo thought, “Using this method, I’m afraid that you really can eat them.” Hong Qigong melted another two lumps of snow and cleaned the flesh of the centipede so there would be no traces of poison, and then he took out seven or eight small and large boxes from his back pack. In the boxes were ingredients such as oil, salt, jams, vinegar and the like. He placed some oil in the pan and fried the centipedes, immediately an appetizing scent flowed into the nose. Yang Guo saw that he was drooling, revealing his glutton side, he couldn’t stop himself from being startled and laughed at the same time. Hong Qigong fried the centipedes until they were slightly golden, and then mixed in some other ingredients. He stretched out his hand and placed a centipede in his mouth, he lightly chewed it a few times and closed his eyes and sighed. He felt that none of the pleasures in the world can be compared with this. He took a wine gourd from his back and placed it to the side and said, “When eating centipedes don’t drink wine, otherwise the taste of the centipedes will be ruined.” He ate ten or so centipedes in one go and then said to Yang Guo, “Just eat; why are you being so polite?” Yang Guo shook his head and said, “I don’t want to eat.” Hong Qigong was startled and then laughed, he said, “That’s right, that’s right, I’ve seen many heroes and good men who can kill without blinking but none of them dare to eat centipedes with this old beggar, hei-hei, so you are just a cowardly punk.” Yang Guo angered by him and thought, “I’ll close my eyes and swallow without chewing, this’ll stop him from looking down on me.” He picked up two small twigs and used them as chopsticks and picked up a centipede. Hong Qigong knew what he was thinking and said, “You are going to close your eyes and swallow without chewing; that’s called being a scoundrel, not a hero.” Yang Guo said, “What’s so heroic about eating poison?” Hong Qigong said, “There are many people who talk big and class themselves as heroes, but those who dare to eat centipedes are few and far between.” Yang Guo thought, “Nothing is bigger than death.” He placed the centipede in his mouth and bit down. As soon as he bit down, he felt his mouth fill with a sweet taste, it was crisp and fragrant and extremely sweet. He had never tasted anything like it in his life, he chewed a few more times and swallowed; he then picked up a second centipede and said, “Extraordinary, extraordinary.” Hong Qigong saw that he was eating with pleasure and was delighted. The two of them grabbed and snacked, soon the hundred or so centipedes were all gone. Hong Qigong licked the juices around his lips and wished that there could be another hundred centipedes for his stomach. Yang Guo said, “I’ll go and bury the chicken again, and lure some more centipedes.” Hong Qigong said, “It’s no use, one, the chicken has lost its attraction, secondly, there aren’t anymore fat and large centipedes around here anymore.” Hong Qigong stretched and yawned, he got down onto snowy ground and said, “I have rushed here without sleeping for five days and five nights; now that I’ve had a great meal, I’m going to sleep for three days. Don’t wake me even if the sky falls down. Look after me, don’t let any monsters bite my head off in one go while I’m not aware.” Yang Guo laughed, “Yes sir.” Hong Qigong closed his eyes and in a short while, he fell into a deep sleep. Yang Guo thought, “This Senior is really an extraordinary person. Is he really going to sleep for three days? It doesn’t matter if he’s lying or telling the truth, I have nowhere to go anyway, I’ll just wait for three days.” The Mount Hua centipedes are one of the coolest objects in the world, after Yang Guo ate them, he felt a chill in his stomach so he found a rock to sit on and after a while of meditating, his body became more comfortable. Right now the sky was filled with falling snow that was like the feathers of swans; it snowed without stopping. Hong Qigong’s head and body was covered with snow, he was like a lump of cotton wool. A person breathes warm air, as soon as a snowflake meets it, it will immediately melt; how did the snow remain intact on his face? Yang Guo did not understand at first but then it was clear to him, “That’s it; when he is sleeping he is circulating his incredible internal energy, keeping the warm air within his body. He is a living person, but when he is sleeping he looks like a corpse, this level of internal energy is frightening. Gu Gu let me sleep on the “Chilled Jade Bed” in hopes that I would be able to refine my internal energy to a such profound state. Ai… ‘Chilled Jade Bed, Chilled Jade Bed’.” Dawn came. Hong Qigong’s body was buried within the snow, nothing could be seen where he was except for the fact that the snow on the ground was higher there. Everywhere was deep with snow, but Yang Guo was not tired. He suddenly heard footsteps in the snow towards the mountains in the northeast, he looked carefully and saw five black shadows approaching; their movements were rapid, the sabers on their backs glittered. Yang Guo thought, “They are probably the Five Clowns of the Tibetan Border that senior mentioned.” He hid behind a large rock. In a short while, the five people arrived in front of the rock. One of them said ‘ah’, and called out, “It’s the old beggar’s gourd!” Another one’s voice quivered as he said, “He’s…he’s on Mount Hua?” The five of them were frightened; they came together and quietly consulted with each other. Suddenly, the five of them separated, and descended down the peak. The paths of the peak were narrow; one of them dashed forward a few steps and stepped onto Hong Qigong, and felt something soft below his feet. The person called out ‘ai’. The other four stopped and drew near; they wiped away the layers of snow and saw Hong Qigong lying on the ground, appearing as if he had died a long time ago. The five of them were delighted, they stretched out their finger across his nose, there was no breathing, and his body was as cold as ice. The five of them shouted out in joy and leapt about, they were a hundred times happier than the joy they would feel if they found a precious treasure. One of them said, “The old beggar has been following all along, he made things hard for me and he died here.” Another person said, “That scoundrel Hong Qigong has extraordinary martial arts, why would he die all of a sudden?” Another one said, “Even if one’s martial arts are high, does that mean they don’t have to die? Just think, that old scoundrel it pretty old.” The other four called out together, “It’s lucky that the devil has come and taken him, otherwise he’d be difficult to handle.” The one ranked first said, “Come, let’s vent our anger on the old beggar by chopping him a few times. No matter if he is the ‘Nine Fingered Wondrous Beggar’ Hong Qigong, hero of the world; in the end, he’s going to end up being chopped into seventeen or twenty eight pieces by the Five Heroes of the Tibetan Border.” Yang Guo thought, “So that old Senior is Hong Qigong, no wonder his martial arts are so good.” He had heard Hong Qigong’s name and of his famous “Eighteen Subduing Dragon Palms” from Xiao Longnu before when they were talking. But Hong Qigong’s appearance and behavior weren’t known to Lin Chaoying let alone Xiao Longnu. His hand held some ‘Jade Bee Needles’, thinking fighting the five of them together would be hard, he could only ambush them with his projectiles. After hurting two or three of them, he could deal with the remaining ones. As he heard them say that they would chop up Hong Qigong to vent their anger; he was afraid that they would harm him. He didn’t shoot out the needles and immediately shouted and leapt out from behind the rock. He didn’t have a weapon so he picked up two twigs; he quickly unleashed his swift stances diverting the five. The five stances were extremely fast, it was a pity that he called out first and gave the five clowns some time to prepare, otherwise one or two of them would have been hit. The five clowns were worried about themselves first and darted and dodged away to avoid the attacks. The five turned around and saw it was a young kid with old and torn garments, his hands holding two branches, their fright now dissipated. The big clown shouted, “Little punk, you’re a little beggar of the Beggar Clan aren’t you? Your old beggar ancestor has gone to heaven, quickly kneel and kowtow to us five Masters.” Yang Guo saw how they moved; their movements revealed their kung fu. The five of them had a large saber on their backs, their kung fu came from the same Master; there were some difference between their abilities but they all had the same type of stances. If it was one on one, he would definitely win, but if the five of them attacked all at once he would not be able to fight them off. He heard the big clown telling him to kowtow and replied, “Yes, junior here will kowtow to the five Masters.” He took a step forward and bowed down. He kneeled and bowed according to the stance “First Greet Bow After”, this move was used by Grandma Sun on the Quanzhen Taoist Zhang Zhi Guang when he wasn’t expecting it. An empty container shot out and almost took his eye. After Yang Guo used the stance “First Greet Bow After”, he followed with a stance of “Push the Window to see the Moon”, his arms swept across and the two branches came out from the left and right. On his left was the fifth clown; on his right was the third clown. This stance of “Push the Window to see the Moon” was extremely evil; the third clown’s kung fu was quite high, he quickly bought down his saber to block it. The back of his saber had been struck and his hand heated up, he almost lost his saber. The fifth clown was struck on the leg, a ‘ka la’ sound was heard, although the leg wasn’t broken it was still painful, he couldn’t stand up. The other four clowns were angry, four sabers chopped down, ‘fu fu fu fu’. Yang Guo was swift and nimble, he darted east and dodged west, the four clowns couldn’t do anything to him for the time being. After fighting for a while, the fifth clown joined in, he was extremely angry and fought with his life. Yang Guo’s lightness kung fu was much higher than the five clowns, if he wanted to escape it wasn’t hard, but he remembered Hong Qigong. He was afraid that if he left then the clowns will kill Hong Qigong. But he couldn’t beat the five of them fighting together; he unleashed some dangerous stances and in the middle of it he bent down and picked up Hong Qigong. His right hand fought with the branch as he found a path to escape. He took a deep breath and hurried over a hundred feet. The Five Clowns of the Tibetan Border chased after him. Yang Guo felt that Hong Qigong was icy cold, he couldn’t stop himself from being alarmed. He thought that if Hong Qigong was going to get deeper into his sleep he won’t be able to wake up. Could it be that he really was dead? He called out, “Senior…Senior!” Hong Qigong didn’t move an inch, it appeared that he was dead but he wasn’t stiff like a corpse. Yang Guo stretched out his hand and felt his chest, there seemed to be a faint heartbeat but there were no indication of breathing from the nose. In this pause, the first clown caught up with them, but because he saw that Yang Guo’s skills were excellent, he was worried and didn’t dare to fight alone. By the time the second clown and fourth clown arrived, Yang Guo had gone another hundred feet. The Five Clowns of the Tibetan Border saw him ascending the peak and saw that there was only one trail up there. They thought, “Could it be that you know how to fly?” There was no need to rush, they followed step by step. The mountain path was getting more and more treacherous as he went on; when Yang Guo turned around a corner he saw an extremely narrow path before him. It wasn’t easy for one person to pass. By the narrow path was a two thousand foot deep abyss; the mists obscured the bottom, he thought, “This is the best place, I’ll fend them off here.” He quickened his pace and got over the narrow path. He placed Hong Qigong down by a large rock and turned around; the first clown had reached the entrance to the narrow path. Yang Guo dashed over and shouted, “Ugly freak! Do you dare to come over?” The first clown was really scared of being knocked over into the abyss by Yang Guo and hurriedly leapt back. Yang Guo stood at the entrance of the path, the morning sun was now in the sky. The eye could see a fine jade mountain, gems circled the floor of the abyss, and the sunlight reflected off the white snow; the scene was magnificent. Yang Guo placed the human skin mask on his face and shouted, “Are you ugly or am I ugly?” The Five Clowns of the Tibetan Border were ugly, but they weren’t that ugly. The ‘Clown’ comes from their actions and the amount of bullshit they talk about on the road. They saw Yang Guo touch his face and his face changed. His face was yellow, looked wooden, like a corpse out of a cemetery; the five clowns looked at each other and all without exception were startled. Yang Guo retreated to the narrowest point of the path, he used “The Kicking Force of the Leading Star”; his left leg stood on the ground, his right leg kicked out at the sky, his body moving lightly like the wind in midair. In the blink of an eye, his heroic air emerged, even if the enemy was thousands of soldiers and ten thousand horses, I could still block them one on one. The five clowns muttered to themselves, “Where from the Beggar Clan did this strange young kid come from?” They saw that in front of them was dangerous ground, they didn’t dare to rush through and they consulted each other, “We’ll wait here and take turns to leave the mountain for food, within two days, he will definitely have no strength due to hunger.” Four of the clowns lined up at the mouth of the narrow path and let the second clown descend the mountain to look for food. The sides were deadlocked, Yang Guo didn’t dare go over, and the four clowns didn’t dare go over either. By the second day, the second clown had come back with food; the five clowns took big bites and ate noisily. Yang Guo was already burning up with hunger, he turned around and looked at Hong Qigong and saw him looking the same as the day before and thought, “If he is sleeping, then he would toss and turn in his dreams, but he hasn’t moved an inch, I’m afraid that he really is dead. If I endure another day, I will have no strength, it will be even harder for me to defend, why don’t I leave now and I may have a chance of escaping.” He slowly stood up and thought, “He told me that he is going to sleep for three days and told me to look after him, I promised him with my own mouth; how can I leave him now?” He fought off the hunger and closed his eyes to rest. By the third day, Hong Qigong was still motionless like he was on the first day, Yang Guo looked on and began to question himself, “He’s already dead, and I’m still guarding him, that’s too dumb. If I endure another half a day of hunger, there will be no need for the five clowns to kill me; I will have already died of starvation.” He picked up some snow from the rocks and swallowed some, his empty stomach gradually felt a bit better. He thought, “I haven’t been filial to my parents, I have hurt Gu Gu, I have no brothers or sisters, I haven’t even got a best friend, I should stop mentioning the words ‘personal loyalty’. The words trust, good and bad echoed in his mind; I still need to guard him.” He continued, “When Auntie Guo and I were talking about literature, we talked about the meeting of a boy and girl underneath the bridge. The girl was stopped by a flood but the boy didn’t dare to miss the meeting, he held onto the bridge and died in vain. Later, that person was famous for hundreds of years. I, Yang Guo have suffered the world’s mistreatment, if I don’t keep to this promise then I’ll be even more despised by the world, even if it means death, I must guard him for three days.” A day and night passed by in the wink of an eye, early on in the fourth day, Yang Guo went over to Hong Qigong and checked his breathing; still there was no sign of life. He sighed and saluted him saying, “Senior Hong, I have kept to my promise of guarding you for three days, it’s too bad that Senior has passed away tragically. This disciple has not got the power to protect your corpse; it would be best if I throw you into the deep valley and avoid the insults and disrespect of the scoundrels.” He picked up his body and went over to the narrow path. The five clowns knew that he couldn’t endure the hunger and now wanted to escape; they all called out and flew over. Yang Guo gave a shout and flung Hong Qigong down the deep valley, and dashed forward to the first clown. fumaricfumarateFurfuryllcoholresin

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