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anime hitler
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found this in my wallet last week. i work for an Israeli company, so the irony is amazing:
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oh and i gave this bill as change for a $20 to one of my (Israeli) coworkers, who thought it was hysterical and walked around screaming "WHITE POWER!!!!!" all day.
yes i told her before i handed it over. |
somebody asked me to identify a tree and i guessed and i was right.
and it wasn't even one we learned in my dendrology class. it was on the list of ones to learn, but we didn't get around to finding them. i think i somehow recalled my ex-girlfriend saying "oh, a catalpa" as we passed one a long time ago. SWEET. |
This buys you about 2-3 weeks of believable bullshit before someone calls you on it. Use this power only for good. :)
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BS about trees, I guess. :(
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what genius is sitting around going "hmmm, how can i impress these people on i-mockery?!?!?!? I KNOW!!! I'll pretend i know alot about.............TREES!!! that'll get 'em"
cause, you know, dendrology is like rocket science, only with trees. wait, dendrology is a real word? no way. |
on a different note, i just heard the dumbest thing ever at work:
Customer: "so, you're gonna email me something, and then i have to fax it back? WAIT how can i fax it back if it's in my email?!??!?!? oh, wait............." |
I think my mom would lose a basic snake survival test. She went to a zoo where they had nonvenomous and venomous side by side with a sign explaining how to spot the differences between them.
On her photos, she's labeled a copperhead as an eastern milk snake and a coral snake as a Sinoloan milk snake. The good news (I guess) is that she also labeled an eastern milk snake as an eastern milk snake and a Sinoloan milk snake as a Sinoloan milk snake. I think if I wasn't sure I would have gone with the opposite. She's a rampant killer of snakes despite all my best efforts. A copperhead struck at her once and that was it...all snakes were as good as dead in her book. |
i don't pretend i know a lot about trees. i took a dendrology class two years ago and i had a lucky guess on identifying a tree.
i'm not trying to impress anybody, this is just how boring my life is. yes dendrology is a real word and it's a very important class for anybody in a natural resources program at school. |
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Hey guys, I am thinking of applying for a dead body job. I plan on practicing Igro lines and tease the co-workers about them having sex with the bodies 24/7.
P.S. "Yeah man I can step out. Dead bodies, right? From the cemetary? Yeah, no problem man." |
Sex with the dead .... don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
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I'm pretty sure my last lay could have been declared dead.
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I had a sex dream the other night and in it, the girl was bored.
That's how dead my sex life currently is. It's not even decent in my dreams. |
Maybe it's time for drastic measures? Ever try fire sex? You have to penetrate as fast as you can as you are doused by live embers.
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So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.
I wrote the magazine. They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me. Now them's balls. |
just got out of a meeting, please tell me why i had to come in 2 hours early to listen to my boss talk about recycling plastic bags and how to upload videos on facebook?!?!?!?
*headdesk* |
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http://thechive.com/2009/08/10-reaso...rn/#more-47256
http://thechive.com/2009/08/9-reason...os/#more-46569 edit: 1st link is "Reasons it would rule to date a unicorn" 2nd link is "Reasons it would suck to date a T-Rex" |
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I hope you throw the book at them. |
i booked a $12,000 move last week. move went fine, management was thrilled with me.............
...............untill the customer called up with $75,000 worth of damage. D'oh. |
dirtyxblondexdame, we don't care about your life. Stop trying.
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