do i have to have sex with you :(

Nah, thanks for the offer though. It's in your mail.

(pssst... tell him the sex is my department)

Your national sport team of choice nyuk nyuk.

EDIT: Christ, that was fucking late.

lol

I've been considering joining the military but then i realized they'd probably frown on my womanly good looks :(

Not anymore they won't, the more feminine the better

The military's great. I will never regret the time I've spent with my comrades in this shithole of a country. That being said, I don't know how people can make it their career. It's such a simple life...99% of it is showing up at the right place at the right time and in the right uniform. I personally desire more outta life then just that.

It's a good way to mature as a young person. I joined as a nineteen year old douche whose young dumb and full of cum. I'm now twenty-two and I'm still a douche, but a douche with some awesome war stories...and the Post 9/11 GI Bill to boot.

I assume you are still full of cum as well

I just got off of mid-tour leave about two months ago...so not as bad as one would think.

My friend is home on leave too but he's based out of Fort Campbell, TN.

Fort Campbell is actually in Kentucky :themoreyouknow

Leave is great, though. It was easily the best two weeks of my year.

That makes sense then, he said it was right on the borderline but I couldn't remember which state it actually was.

Nobody called you three days later. That's when you went all drama queen posting about your bloody rectum and how you were going to kill yourself unless we call.

Now sit in the corner and play with your clay.

Pram, if you didn't hate on mexicans and other races that aren't white so much, maybe you'd be taken seriously.

If you're referring to those three posts in Loveline, a mod did that.

Yeah of course, just like you did everything else on here as a "character."

Get bent you fucking child molester.

Shy, it's not fair to be typecast as something I'm not just because a mod had a problem with me.

Also, where did this child molesting thing come from? You don't make any sense.

I didn't do anything here that was particularly bad. If you're going to pick on someone, at least pick on someone who deserves ridicule. I just tell jokes and make animated GIFs.

To be fair we do pick on people who deserve ridicule, and we pick on you cause it is fun :P

You're an asshole and a suck up Don Carlson. On top of that, there are rumors of you being a racist pedophile which makes me uncomfortable with your presence. On top of that, you lie. First you say that you are unable to be hired due to a thread here. Then you say you're just kidding about that. Then you threaten the president with rape. It's just one thing after another and all you bring is drama, Pram. And what's this I hear about you poisoning a church choir?

Dammit Pram, I know you think i-mockery is holding your career back but I am going to just flat out say it:

Do you really want to work for a company who would actually take i-mockery.com, and not even the articles, but the forums, seriously?

Would you buy product from a company that said, "I get all my employee background checks done on i-mockery.com"?

You saying the forums have put your career in jeopardy is bullshit and everyone but you knows it.

EDIT: The hilarious thing is some people are probably thinking, "No Pent, telling Pram that will pull the curtain back" But he won't believe me anyway so it doesn't matter :lol

No, no, I KNOW that!

I just don't want people calling me a racist and a pedophile when I steal peoples' cars and run them over for insurance money. It's not that you're calling me a criminal that bothers me, it's the fact that you're accusing me of the type of crimes I don't do.

For instance, racism: why pick on one or two "minority" races when you can just pick on the white devil? HOME RUN! I'm starting a campaign to hang white people from maple trees. Fucking white people, there's too many of them. And they're lazy, too. When was the last time you ever saw a white person picking berries in the fields? Also, who owns those fields? Whitey does. Doesn't pay his immigrant workers enough, either.

Not only does ol' Paleface screw over all the other races, but he doesn't even know what color he is. He calls himself white. He's PEACH WITH SOME GREEN IN IT.

Also, pedophilia: it would be a lot of WORK to fit a FREAKISHLY LARGE PENIS in a little girl or boy. If I wanted a small hole, I'd fuck a midget with their mouth open. Hell, I'm having a hard enough time getting in fat girls, and they have larger cunts than the skinny ones. My only hope of ever getting laid is meeting a giantess with a 12 inch gash.

Not to mention you did the equivilent of shitting in a neighbors backyard and then demand you be best buds with them.

So you admit that you think black people hate whites on the spot?

Way to go captain progressive.

Edit: Why did Pram Maven not feel satisfied with his first sexual encounter?

Because he discovered she had a rape fetish.