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In fact, I don't trust white people here either
Rednecks're allright, but wannabe rednecks? >: |
That game was awesome. I remember I had to have a SUPERVGA to play it. Sierra, what happened? What happened :(
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I'm just sayin |
I once was in a training sequence to become a teacher for Kaplan, coaching GRE strategies to classes of college students who have the financial resources to pay $850 for 20 hours of lessons but not the actual intelligence to get into grad school. This was funny because I had never actually taken the GRE in a formal setting myself, you see, nor had I even graduated from college (a sad fact that holds true today).
When I had to give sample lessons to the trainers, they thought at first that I'd be a fantastic teacher because of the way I'd explain the hidden intricacies of etymology, even for those frequent cases where I had no idea what a word meant until I looked it up in the cheat sheet in the teacher's manual. At one point I was explaining the word "aver", and I gave the following insider tip: You see, even though we all know well that "ver" comes from the Latin "veritas", meaning "truth", I often get confused myself with the a- prefix. The trick here is to keep in mind that Latin roots and Greek roots usually stick with other roots of the same language, so here we relate the a- to the Latin "towards" and not the Greek "not" or "un-" because of "veritas" being Latin. The trainer just kind of interrupted and had to collect his thoughts for a long while before scolding me about my assumptions of how much Greek and Latin my target audience had taken in their coursework. Anyways, the whole thing fell through because I refused to invest the effort in memorizing 30-minute sequences verbatim of procedures to explain how to find the area of a triangle. I could have collected on some training pay, but the paperwork was so tedious on my end that I was satisfied to just keep their PRICELESS and SECRET teacher's manual for when I actually want to take the GRE. |
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Hey Mattjack, one of my best friends here regularly uses cellophane strips for an impromptu belt, and he's awesome, regular redneck is fine
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if its the super vga one its probably space quest 4
was there time travelling and nightmarish screaming cyborgs |
cellophane strips? I only use cellophane to package my bathtub meth I produce
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Oh god, firecrackers in MY parking lot! At this time of night! >:
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Umm, my last post used to be relevant or something.
The 7-11 comment is funny because I work as a Goodwill cashier, and since I've said as much I assumed that was ingrained in everyone's head along with every other biographical detail of my life. You know, like living in Illinois right now and shit. For me to explain the sadistic pleasures of working at Goodwill, mostly from dealing with middle-aged/middle-class women who think they're the pinnacle of culture because they have secretarial jobs at Indiana University, would be more than I'm prepared to do right now. |
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Well, that's when I start to get irritated with the fake rednecks |
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I'm sorry Seth. I was thinking of EMU :(
He's cool too, right? |
Buy a cattleprod. Find out if he's lying.
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We got rid of that motherfucker right about the time he started bragging to us about being rejected by the waitresses. Massively.
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*SHRIEK* |
Wait, I don't think a truck would even GO 120. You shoulda put his ass in a dumpster.
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A ranch in Alabama? They got farms. That should have been your first clue
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He specifically told us that he just didn't have what it took to be a dishwasher. Right after the boss told him that everyone hated his guts
LIFE put his ass in a dumpster |
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Our first CLUE was when he came in and told us that he "wouldn't be working here long, 'cause he just got a job at that hovercraft plant that's coming in"
Don't think I'm kidding. |
Hey guys, I feel extremely pleased with myself right now because I came up with the most reflexive joke-neologism that has no search results from google.
I thought of how to explain my verbose rendition of a simple pedophile joke. Obviously, "polishing a turd" came to mind, but that's rather crass. So, I had to do the same thing to that colloquialism, right? I came up with "coprolitic tumbling", which would be the lapidarian/geological term for "polishing a turd". I will post this here right now so that any future Google searches across the globe will reveal me to be its creator. |
ATTABOY
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:lol
"Everyone hates you, get the fuck out of here." "BUT I AIN'T GOT NO PLACE TO GO! :richardgear" |
...... like the plant generates hovering? Dude, I need to find this guy, he's got to be hilarious to be around. You can laugh and laugh and he still thinks you're laughing with him.
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:lol
FUCKIN HOVERCRAFT PLANT?! Holy shit, I'm sorry but that guy is a new hero of mine. hahahahahaha fuc*in hovercraft plant |
"HEY RHYS, I TALKED TO THAT ONE WAITRESS, YA KNOW? CORENNA? YEAH, WELL, I ASKED HER OUT, AND SHE'S ALL LIKE, "NO". SO, LIKE, IF SHE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT ME," *wink*, "LEMME KNOW, ALLRIGHT?"
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SO ANYWAY DID I TELL YOU THAT MY MOM WENT ON A POLICE TRAINING PROGRAM BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ANYWAY SO THAT'S HOW I GOT MACED. IN THE FACE.
MOUTH. OPEN. YEAH. |
SO YEAH, I JUST TOOK A DEFENSIVE DRIVING COURSE. AND, LIKE, I LEARNED STUFF. HEY, GUESS WHAT. GUESS WHAT YOU DO, IF LIKE, A GUY PULLS UP, IF LIKE, YOU'RE IN DEAD TRAFFIC AND ANOTHER GUY PULLS UP NEXT TO YOU AND POINTS A GUN AT YOU, WHAT DO YA DO?
GUESS. WHAT DO YA DO? YOU FLOOR IT. THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. WHAT? OH, YOU'RE AT A STOP SIGN. SO ANYWAY, JUST GO, MAN, JUST FLOOR IT |
For the record, mace hurts. We got these girls at my school who are frickin' trigger happy with it; if you even startle them by accident you get a face full a of it.
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DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I FUCKED MY SISTER?
IT WAS AVERAGE |
SO I MADE A DIRTBIKE OUT OF A BICYCLE AND A BLENDER MOTOR
I TOTALLY RAN OUT A MUGGER IN A TRUCK ON IT. ..... do Alabamians say totally? |
I played a SpaceQuest game once. I heard footsteps & then died. Over & Over & over & ove
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I-Mockery Chat(FILLED WITH VICIOUS PAJAMAS)
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GODDAMNIT YOU GUYS JUST DON'T STOP TALKING AND NOW I'M COMPLETELY LOST.
BUT I GOT RID OF MY EX. AND NO I DON'T FUCK HIM ANYMORE THANKS FOR THAT IMPLICATION YOU ASSHOLES. |
We all went to put our pyjamas on.
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You don't fuck him? the what good is his coming over?
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Yeah, I'm actually curious about that
I never want to see my ex gf again, ever. Did this guy take the "let's be friends" thing literally, or what |
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Someone else needs to draw some vicious pajamas real quick, I don't really want to draw anything more than I have to tonight
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Fucker. |
You know that bit in Moulin Rouge where Jim Broadbent is about to sing that old Madonna hit & he says the song's titular phrase? That.
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You have kids, damn, I figured you were sixteen or something
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Google her hotmail name. She's 26.
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26. At least I-mock checks my ID still.
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Jesus Pub did you really google my hotmail name? THAT'S SO HOT.
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Talking about driving up a 90° angle is pretty hardcore, but if you absolutely have to undertake a totally badass act of genius where you drive 120 mph then do it in such a way that leads to mid-air rotation so you land upside-down in a convertible with the top down.
Or so I hear that such is pretty hardcore. I think somebody mentioned that car/slope thing a long time ago, but only now did that spring to mind. It reminded me that when I was at King's Island many years ago with MY BESTEST BUDDY DENISE we were in line for one of those rides that's just a guided/cushioned free fall when you sit in a round structure around a tower. Anyways, there was a sign that indicated "100% SLOPE" as if it were one of those roadside signs you see in the mountains. I pointed out that a 100% slope by the convention they were using was actually only a 45° angle, not the 90° that they wished to imply. DENISE and I got into an argument over whether or not I was right (which I am), and I had to explain that the trigonometric procedures they use to come up with that number would be impossible to apply meaningfully to a free fall because you'd have to divide by zero pretty early in the game. Looking back, I wondered, "huh, I guess they didn't have any engineers involved in the construction of this ride", and then I was horrified. |
hnahahaha
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:lol
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Trying to get back in touch with a lass with whom I'd shared fairly positive exchanges, I found myself at her wikipedia page wondering how I should edit it in such a way as to provide contact info I couldn't otherwise bestow because her account was deleted (and no, I was not blocked and I HAVE WAYS OF KNOWING THIS while ironically not knowing any real better way of contacting her).
Then I just asked myself, "really, Seth? REALLY?" and I gave up on her in a very sad moment. |
I mention that episode because it seemed like a good idea in ages past when Pub outed himself about stealthy internet tactics.
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I know this doesn't follow the thread of the current conversation, but I've basically got the house for the rest of the weekend and wouldn't you know, an empty house is A FREAKING EMPTY HOUSE ARRRGH THE SILENCE.
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You don't have to follow the current conversation the secret of this thread is changing the subject so that the focus is now on yourself :shhh
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[/spoils]
.. |
Also to be a jerk and post constantly let's not forget our roots :(
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I can handle that but people aren't talking like they were last night and it's no fun drinking alone :(
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Hey asila I can help un-empty your house and maybe get rid of the silence too but that depends on how loud you are in the sack
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:( :( :(
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As much as I want a repeat of last night's wonders, I can't handle it right now because two hours of sleep last night wasn't enough to fuel my normal ebullience for Senior Citizen's Day at Goodwill.
And although I don't work the GW until 17:00, the geology department likes it when I come in during my available hours and I don't want to explain YET AGAIN that I had to sleep all day because there was a really great conversation going on online at 4:30 AM. |
i know a way you can test it out how about you test it out with MY DICK
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Speaking of pithy word smithing ending with "MY DICK", I really wonder what this thread would be like with Jixby.
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Waitwaitwait, you're in the geology department too? Because christ Seth, I was going to ask for your help in french as it was, and you're in geology too, and... I'm not very good at making my words make sense tonight.
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& by already open I mean 'Ctrl+C Ctrl+T G Ctrl+V' in Opera. |
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More 'Maybe Pub Could Shut UP' More Pub saying :( |
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Not cool. :) |
You're all too hung over from yesterday! >:
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I'm not hungover, I'm lonely.
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Though only god knows why I'm telling you :rolleyes
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is that red forman
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Kurtwood Smith, yeah
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Yes it is. I wanted one from Robocop, but I settled for House MD.
It was that or one of the billions of cartoons he voices. |
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I have a PM again. Should I check it? It's rarely worth the effort.
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Oh yeah, he doesn't get when I'm joking either. Good times. |
I'D CHECK IF I WERE YOU
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Isn't it fun?
Wait, mine wasn't an obvious joke either? You know, at some point the internet irony just folds on itself and refuses to make sense. |
Hey, hey guys: would it be too late for me to say, "For me to claim 'I'm hungover' would be two syllables too many"?
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And Seth: Never.
Christ, I think I'm turning into the female Pub. |
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When I'm at work at G-Dubs on Wednesdays, I often think of clever ways to answer the question, "How old do you have to be to get the senior discount?" for whenever I want to get fired.
The first one to come to mind was actually the honest truth, which is, "I'll give it to anyone who asks, but I'll roll my eyes in situationally ironic social condescension if I think you look younger than 55." I think a better one would be "well, when I give the senior discount to people I just ask myself if i'd need to be blindfolded while fucking them or if a brown bag over their face would suffice." |
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WHAT'S BROWN AND SOUNDS LIKE A BELL DUNGGGG |
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