Best Worst Pick-up Lines
 

Alright, here we go. What's the best, worst pick-up line anyone has ever used on you, or you've had the misfortune of using on someone else?

One time a drunk Finnish guy told me, "I have a sauna in my apartment." ;)

"My name is Pub Lover, you might know me from the Internet"

:lol nice

When I see a girl I like I always make small conversation with them and then I'll say something like,

"Well I better get out of here before your boyfriend comes and beats me up."

Then they will usually smile and tell me how they don't have a boyfriend. Once that happens I'll say,

"Oh no, girls who look like you always have boyfriends. I'm sorry, I'm sure you get this all the time."

I'll wait for a response like a smile or a thank you, and then I ask them if they want to go out to lunch or an early dinner sometime. Something very non-threatening.

Once I get them to that point, I usually just cloroform and rag them.

Damn, that's the most useful thing I've heard on the loveline forums!

"HIMYNAMEISSAMIJUSTMOVEDTOSACRAMENTOWOULDYOULIKETO GOOUTONADATEI'MSORRYISHOULDN'THAVEASKED :tear "

"Hey, so, uh, speaking of awkward..."

AND THEN I MADE MY MOVE :sunglasses

"So, uh, I moderate a message board... I-mockery.com... you may have heard about it... my name is Esuohlim :wink "

"My post count's not the only thing that's ;)

embarrasing :("

Why is everybody changing their avatars to smileys? Did I miss something? Some sort of feudal warfare going on?

did you not get a copy of that memo

Well, I had a great idea for a long rumination for nobody to read in this thread.

Instead, I'll just post an idea I had tonight for a pickup line. I would like you guys to evaluate it and tell me if I should use it or not.

"Your face is absolutely beautiful, and I'll still think that tomorrow morning when it has a bruise on it shaped like my dick."

that's pretty bad, yeah

unless the lady is clearly into some kinky stuff

But is there a good kind of bad? I'm not good at these things.

It really depends who you tell it too. Some might punch you in the face, some might scream "PERVERT" so that everyone can hear it, and others might just laugh (at you).

Just to be safe, I'd recommend using it somewhere who you're sure doesn't know anybody you know, in a place you've never been before and never will be again. You can never take too many precautions.

Don't ask. Don't tell.

It depends - what reaction are you going for here?

Dude, I don't get ANY memos. My sister's boyfriends he'd been going out with for a week got told by my parents about one of my other sisters getting married before I was told. Same thing when another of my sisters got pregnant!

Tell me about it dude! I just now found out that I got your sister pregnant!

Damn, you got one ugly baby to worry about, then. For your sake, run.

I'm going to have to get a voice recorder for the lines I hear at metalfests.
My favorite thus far has been from a Swedish guy:
Him: "You like Piledriver?"
Me: "Yes, great Canadian metal!"
Him: "You know of this sexual position called piledriver"
Me: pretending not to hear him.
Him: "Have you tried this Piledriver position before?"
Me: "My husband could probably answer that better than I could"

I couldn't do the piledriver, my boners are to hard and it hurts to bend it down like that.

Worst pick up line = "Spare some change, please?"

My dick itches for you.

Ah, here is another pick up line from the Finns. Whilst me and my friends were waiting to get into a club, and overweight/middle-aged Finnish man stood in front of us and started doing the splits over and over while yelling "in between your legs" at us. It was pretty hilarious. I don't know is that's the reaction he was going for though.

Well, I just had the awkward event that I was about to retort to someone "yeah, well you're missing out on MY DICK". I had to prevent myself from saying that because it would probably end with someone enjoying my dick, that someone being one upon whom I'd not otherwise grant that honor.

Speaking of enjoying my dick, I really, REALLY wish that I could incorporate this song into the act of initiating conversations with females somehow:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQykK_X5kB0

There MUST be a way.

For some reason people fall for those lines. I don't understand it. I always see these ugly guys that look like Snaggletooth with these amazing looking women. Makes my brain hurt.