Breakup Kit
- sad music
- a pair of running shoes - 1 Mormon friend - breakfast tacos The list is short so far but bound to grow if healthy resolve doesn't pan out... *Also, don't be douches and talk about rope, mace, shovels, nooses, rape kits or the like. You sick fuckers. I'm reaching out. |
I would add peace and understanding to that list
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pot.
EDIT: and beer. |
A Facebook account so you can change your relationship status to "single".
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would saying "voodoo doll" be taking things too far :(
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You're still in good standing, executioneer - but I got my one good eye on you!
As for the rest of you: I don't have a Facebook because I'm a grown ass woman; pot is not an option due to an impending drug test within a month and beer drinking requires too much energy. Peace and understanding is down the road - but for now, I'm okay with wanting to throw her off a roof or tickle her so much her tears of laughter turn into tears of pain and sorrow. And... thanks for being relatively normal, guys. It's unexpected and very much appreciated. |
I-Mockery message boards to make fun of the situation in a depraved and/or cynical manner.
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Change the lock.
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Go with the tickle torture. A pet helps out a lot too, just not a fish.
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I propose that after this post, anyone who posts anything from 50 ways to leave your lover be infracted.
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Tadao, I'm pretty sure you're the death of any discussion or helpful thinking. (No offense. [I'd put a winky face if I knew how, to take the edge off.])
I've decided I'm going to train for a marathon. Any marathon. I don't care. I just know I'd rather puke from bein' up at the gym just workin' on my fitness than being sad. Also, in a few months, when I'm ready again, please send your lady friends to Texas so I can buy them icecream and wash their hair for them. |
I think there is a dog the bounty hunter marathon on tonight Hugh. That's a start.
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Wait, I thought this was a request on how you can break up with someone, not what to do after the breakup.
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Okay, no pot, no beer...
How about a boys night out? You don't have to get wasted, but it's always good to try and have some fun despite feeling like you just got kicked in the junk. |
Hugh is a sexy lady. :rolleyes
and a lesbo? :eek |
And a Texan, apparently :\
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A Sexton. :orgasm
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Is that a sexy Texan?
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Some would say yes... others no.
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Hmmm..... :scratchchin
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What's a Mormon
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I met a really slutty Mormon girl once. She said it was ok because she only made out and gave handjobs. Of course then she started screwing random guys two months after I met her, so that obviously failed.
Beware slippery slopes! |
Hugh, when did you switch teams?
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A while back, man. It was going pretty effin' well until I made two major mistakes: I fell too deeply for a 19-year-old who... wait for it... decided, quite unexpectedly, she wasn't gay but confused and said "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be gay." So, it hurts (a lot) but I'm trying to be understanding 'n shit. I still hold out hope for Natalie Portman, Elizabeth Hurley, Penelope Cruz and Monica Bellucci to convert...
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