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-   -   I MISS SEX (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69698441)

Terra Dec 14th, 2007 12:43 AM

I MISS SEX
 
My boyfriend went to Kodiak, Alaska, to his family for the holidays. I can't stand the horrible degradation of using a vibrator. I'm too proud to crawl to Alaska for sex with him.

What to do?

(and no this isn't the guy who hit my car with his. >: )

Chojin Dec 14th, 2007 12:47 AM

ask maggie

Terra Dec 14th, 2007 12:52 AM

I was going to but I have a feeling she ended up in the closet with herself. If I were to do that, it would be an awful waste of personal space..

Besides that, my shoe collection would object heatedly.

MLE Dec 14th, 2007 04:13 AM

There are much better things than vibrators! You should know that!

Cosmo Electrolux Dec 14th, 2007 09:21 AM

hire a man whore?
molest the pool boy?
sit on the washing machine during a spin cycle?
fashion a faux penis out of spam and potted meat products....

MetalMilitia Dec 14th, 2007 09:22 AM

Have you considered taking your mind of it by eating an orange for example.

Cosmo Electrolux Dec 14th, 2007 04:21 PM

so, what's wrong with using a vibrator?

MattJack Dec 14th, 2007 06:34 PM

Just go do what every other woman does when she's not on her back getting penetrated. You know, like the dishes or laundry.

WhiteRat Dec 15th, 2007 05:54 PM

A vibrator is degrading? So do women who use their fingers belong to the Untouchable Class or something?

I suggest you place some tinsel around your nether regiona and blow on your love button while being seranaded by the smooth sounds of Enya.

Get yourself off or stop whining about it.

Terra Dec 16th, 2007 01:49 AM

You are soo right, White Rat!

BTW have those hairplugs taken hold yet?

Guitar Woman Dec 16th, 2007 01:55 AM

Well, uh, mabye we'd be able to better appreciate your situation if you'd explain your aversion to vibrators?

Esuohlim Dec 16th, 2007 02:00 AM

They're incapable of handcuffing her to the bed and ejaculating all over her face is why.

Pfft, "degrading". Whatever, Terra

Seven Force Dec 16th, 2007 01:36 PM

whatever you do dont use a horse

Jeanette X Dec 17th, 2007 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terra (Post 514436)
My boyfriend went to Kodiak, Alaska, to his family for the holidays. I can't stand the horrible degradation of using a vibrator. I'm too proud to crawl to Alaska for sex with him.

Suck it up, Miss High and Mighty. You have some nerve calling vibrators "degrading". Millions of women use them, including yours truly, who hasn't have a boyfriend for three fucking years. >:

You have something against masturbation? >:

Cosmo Electrolux Dec 18th, 2007 12:21 AM

so, um...could you...like...describe it for me...in detail....

Dr. Boogie Dec 18th, 2007 12:54 AM

Still waiting to hear what makes vibrator usage so degrading.

Cosmo Electrolux Dec 18th, 2007 09:38 AM

I have this picture in my head of Jeannette using a weasel with parkinsons as a vibrator....or some sort of epileptic beaver or something...:\

Cfr5 Dec 18th, 2007 12:13 PM

Haha. "Beaver".

Dr. Boogie Dec 18th, 2007 01:08 PM

I have this picture in my head where Terra is talking on the phone with her boyfriend. She says she misses him, and then hangs up the phone and goes to put some things away in her closet. As she's moving things around the closet, her eyes settle on a small cardboard box with a vibrator her girlfriends gave her as a gag gift. Her eyes glaze over for a moment, but she quickly shakes it off and goes about the rest of her day in peace.

The next day, she goes to see a movie with friends, and decides to set her cell phone to silent mode. It's at a very tense part of the movie when she sudden gets a call, and her thoughts drift back to that closet... After returning home, she's brushing her teeth, and she catches a glimpse of that closet door in the mirror. She looks away. "No, I can't," she says to herself, "it's just too degrading."

The weekend comes, and it's time to do laundry. The whites are ready to go in the dryer. She stuffs the clothes into the cylinder and starts the machine. As she prepares to load the washer, she places her hand on the rumbling dryer. The sensation is too much. She rushes back to her bedroom and gives into temptation...

She makes a post on the I-Mockery boards about how she doesn't want to use a vibrator.

Jeanette X Dec 18th, 2007 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo Electrolux (Post 514886)
I have this picture in my head of Jeannette using a weasel with parkinsons as a vibrator....or some sort of epileptic beaver or something...:\

I'm afraid my favorite toys are slightly more mundane than that.

http://www.mypleasure.com/Sex-Toy-Vi...sp?dept_id=708

http://www.mypleasure.com/Sex-Toy-Hi...&cat=SearchCat

http://www.mypleasure.com/Sex-Toy-Go...&cat=SearchCat

RaNkeri Dec 18th, 2007 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie (Post 514903)
I have this picture in my head where Terra is talking on the phone with her boyfriend. She says she misses him, and then hangs up the phone and goes to put some things away in her closet. As she's moving things around the closet, her eyes settle on a small cardboard box with a vibrator her girlfriends gave her as a gag gift. Her eyes glaze over for a moment, but she quickly shakes it off and goes about the rest of her day in peace.

The next day, she goes to see a movie with friends, and decides to set her cell phone to silent mode. It's at a very tense part of the movie when she sudden gets a call, and her thoughts drift back to that closet... After returning home, she's brushing her teeth, and she catches a glimpse of that closet door in the mirror. She looks away. "No, I can't," she says to herself, "it's just too degrading."

The weekend comes, and it's time to do laundry. The whites are ready to go in the dryer. She stuffs the clothes into the cylinder and starts the machine. As she prepares to load the washer, she places her hand on the rumbling dryer. The sensation is too much. She rushes back to her bedroom and gives into temptation...

She makes a post on the I-Mockery boards about how she doesn't want to use a vibrator.

:lol

Mockery Dec 18th, 2007 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie (Post 514903)
After returning home, she's brushing her teeth, and she catches a glimpse of that closet door in the mirror. She looks away. "No, I can't," she says to herself, "it's just too degrading."

I have to ask... was it one of those electric toothbrushes? If so, that would explain what made her eyes wander to the closet yet again.

Terra Dec 18th, 2007 06:37 PM



Actually, I don't EXACTLY dislike vibrators. I'm just used to being with a real dick. :( However, I have shopped and decided this might just do the trick for me.

Guitar Woman Dec 18th, 2007 06:41 PM

picture of blue smiley rolling his eyes

Rongi Dec 18th, 2007 08:17 PM

jesus christ, $60 bucks for a sex toy?


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