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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

executioneer Apr 3rd, 2008 01:56 AM

man i'm glad he came along i havent gotten to tell anyone to shut up in a while

Pub Lover Apr 3rd, 2008 01:56 AM


executioneer Apr 3rd, 2008 02:28 AM

i'm famous :eek

Sethomas Apr 3rd, 2008 02:50 AM

Guys, I just made an awesome post for this thread. However, I tried to open a new tab to check something, but refreshed the screen instead and thus lost my work.

This happened in two different incarnations of the awesome post. I hit ctrl+r instead of ctrl+t twice in the frame of a few minutes.

To wit, I opened this CL ad: http://bloomington.craigslist.org/grd/628060680.html because I was fascinated that someone would offer anything with a price variable like "free or $10", as if there was some room for fluctuation in opinion of what was the better deal. But for a goose, I thought that free or $10 were BOTH offers I couldn't ignore.

To sidetrack the long missive I originally wrote about why I'd like to buy a goose to kill, cook, and eat, I'll just say that it's a nice idea I'd like to undertake but probably won't. Even if in the future I don't have the liberty to choose between paying nothing for a goose or paying $10 for it, more opportunities for geese will certainly come in my future.

Anyways. Reading the ad, I decided that what I SHOULD do in the interest of sealing my name in the annals of asshole history is this: I should buy enough geese to constitute a flock and offer ample evidence of their existence such that I could get the goose in question for free. Immediately upon receipt of the free goose, I would kill, cook, and eat that goose with proper video documentation to give the farmer. The rest of the geese I would keep as pets. Perhaps I would send the farmer sporadic updates about how healthy and happy my pet geese are with frequent references to my having eaten his pet.

ElPila666 Apr 3rd, 2008 03:19 AM


Chojin Apr 3rd, 2008 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sethomas (Post 544391)
Anyways. Reading the ad, I decided that what I SHOULD do in the interest of sealing my name in the annals of asshole history is this: I should buy enough geese to constitute a flock and offer ample evidence of their existence such that I could get the goose in question for free. Immediately upon receipt of the free goose, I would kill, cook, and eat that goose with proper video documentation to give the farmer. The rest of the geese I would keep as pets. Perhaps I would send the farmer sporadic updates about how healthy and happy my pet geese are with frequent references to my having eaten his pet.

I'm still laughing about this and i'm not sure why :<

bigtimecow Apr 3rd, 2008 01:11 PM

lol seth :<

Sethomas Apr 3rd, 2008 01:36 PM

I had to dig this up for reference for a friend who was complaining about feeling like she needed to censor herself in college papers about sexuality. I wrote it four years ago for a social science class in the school that developed the working methods of sociology, verily inventing sociology as a unique line of study. Hence, "the Chicago School of Sociology". I mention this to impress that I was graded by people who take this stuff very seriously.

------------------------------------

“Getting fucked is both clouded and intensified by shame,” as was evidenced by the fact that while many homosexuals claimed to take the active role in anal intercourse, an impossibly scant fraction admitted to being the receptor. (W. 212) Warner was not ambiguous in making his contention that the vast majority of sexual shame is unmerited. “In the realm of sex, more than in any other area of human life,” Warner testified, “shame rules.” (W. 17) Warner ushers in this point by many means, not excluding verbiage—he did not cower from including fist-fucking, strap-ons, and barebacking in his lexicon. This is certainly a grand step away from the subtlety demonstrated by his predecessors; it could easily be remarked that Foucault’s The History of Sexuality is so metaphysical that it could make perfectly coherent sense to replace most instances of the words “sex” or “sexuality” with “baseball” or “gardening.”
--------------------------

I think I got an A- on that paper. Generally speaking, that department doesn't award A's for anything.

BongHitMan Apr 3rd, 2008 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sethomas (Post 544391)
Anyways. Reading the ad, I decided that what I SHOULD do in the interest of sealing my name in the annals of asshole history is this: I should buy enough geese to constitute a flock and offer ample evidence of their existence such that I could get the goose in question for free. Immediately upon receipt of the free goose, I would kill, cook, and eat that goose with proper video documentation to give the farmer. The rest of the geese I would keep as pets. Perhaps I would send the farmer sporadic updates about how healthy and happy my pet geese are with frequent references to my having eaten his pet.

is the free goose in question the farmer's pet, or something?
If so, I'm laughing just thinking of what his reaction would be
:emotionalscarring

Esuohlim Apr 3rd, 2008 02:42 PM

me too rofl

Pub Lover Apr 3rd, 2008 02:56 PM

You too what? :lol

Esuohlim Apr 3rd, 2008 03:00 PM

Hey Pub you haven't said you liked the new South Park yet :eyebrows

Pub Lover Apr 3rd, 2008 03:03 PM

That would require having nothing to do for half an hour so I can actually watch it.

YOU DON'T WAN TME TO BE A LIAR! :eek

Esuohlim Apr 3rd, 2008 03:03 PM

ANSWER WISELY THIS IS AN INFRACTION TRAP :eek

MattJack Apr 3rd, 2008 03:28 PM

Crunch n Munch by Mike Jones is quite possibly the dumbest/most talentless rap song I have ever heard. When Mike Jones raps I always imagine he's riding on the back of a garbage truck rapping his shit or yelling, "MIKE JONES!" Life would make a little bit more sense if Mike Jones was a garbage man.

I fucking hate you Mike.

MattJack Apr 3rd, 2008 03:29 PM

I'm sorry Liquid :(

Hobo Renee Apr 3rd, 2008 03:33 PM

I remember that Mike Jones song with his phone number in it. Who?

MattJack Apr 3rd, 2008 03:35 PM

Yeah he did that in hopes women would call him, but he forgot that black people can't afford phones!

ZING RACIST JOKE

Hobo Renee Apr 3rd, 2008 03:36 PM

I actually tried calling him...shame...it was busy though.

MattJack Apr 3rd, 2008 03:37 PM

I would like to take this time right now to apologize to the readers of the I-Mockery Forum for my prior statement about black people. No I'm not racist, but yes I do hate Mike Jones. I hate Mike Jones so much that he makes me want to be a racist against people named Mike, or Jones, or some kind of combination of those two names.

MattJack Apr 3rd, 2008 03:39 PM

You didn't miss much Renee. I can pretty much sum up your conversation right now.

HR:Hello? Mike?
Mike: MIKE JONES
HR: Haha! Yeah hey Mike how are you?
Mike: MIKE JONES
HR: Haha. I got it! I just wanted to say that I'm a big fan..
Mike: MIKE JONES
HR: Yea, so anyways, hello. That's all I wanted to say really..
Mike: MIKE JONES
HR: Mmmkay, bye!
Mike: MIKE JONES

Hobo Renee Apr 3rd, 2008 03:44 PM

BUY MY ALBUM!

Pub Lover Apr 3rd, 2008 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 544488)
ANSWER WISELY THIS IS AN INFRACTION TRAP :eek

I so wanted to follow through & say I liked it.

I like shit so much of the time, but that episode had nothing.

Maybe if I was less tired & drunker it would've at least gut a chuckle frm me. :(

I'm now behind on my work & I didn't even get to make the joke I wanted.


Plus I'm getting IMed by a nigerian conartist right now. jenifer_fills on yahoo

liquidstatik Apr 3rd, 2008 04:02 PM

DUDE I DON'T EVEN LIKE MIEK JONES

liquidstatik Apr 3rd, 2008 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 544509)
Plus I'm getting IMed by a nigerian conartist right now. jenifer_fills on yahoo

you're talking to a girl :eek


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