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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Pub Lover Jun 21st, 2009 11:34 PM

:pagebrak

Aaarg Jun 22nd, 2009 12:29 AM

i went into tennessee for the first time in my life today. if i had to live in pigeon forge, i would drink a liter of cyanide.

Kitsa Jun 22nd, 2009 10:29 AM

So my uncle is on a volunteer fire department and got this call.

Couple was having sex in someone's backyard treehouse. Woman falls out of treehouse, gets lodged in tree, serious injuries apparently.

Guy gets dressed and flees the scene, leaves her there naked in the tree.

What a dick. :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 22nd, 2009 10:45 AM

right in the crotch of the tree huh?

:HYUK

Kitsa Jun 22nd, 2009 11:24 AM

I wonder what kind of injuries she had, and where.

I can't believe the guy was all "fuck this!" and left.

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2009 01:19 PM

Whatta you wanna bet the guy was a minor and she told his ass to get the fuck out of here.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 22nd, 2009 01:22 PM

Going to bet 20 quid at least.

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2009 01:41 PM


Kitsa Jun 22nd, 2009 02:18 PM

Someone involved was 27 but I can't remember if it was her or him.

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2009 03:09 PM

Maybe she was the minor so he left the bitch hangin'.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 22nd, 2009 04:47 PM

I'll be 9000 days old in 2 weeks and need to find some way to celebrate.

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2009 05:23 PM

You never take our advice.

Kitsa Jun 22nd, 2009 06:12 PM

I bought a new box of crayons just for the smell :(

Zhukov Jun 23rd, 2009 01:59 AM

Not the taste?

Kitsa Jun 23rd, 2009 03:40 AM

It hasn't gone there yet, but I'm not ruling out the possibility.

There was a boy in my kindergarten who ate blue crayons and charged other kids to watch him pee green. I never took him up on it but the kids who saw it were impressed.

Zomboid Jun 23rd, 2009 04:03 PM

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE BAN DURRSOMETHING AGAIN?

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 23rd, 2009 04:06 PM

He might have to be burned to get the job done.

Tadao Jun 23rd, 2009 05:36 PM

Burton and Depp should have thier own movie company name.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/need...onderland.html

Like Burpp or something.

Tadao Jun 23rd, 2009 07:29 PM

http://elbo.ws/post/1813773/the-orbs...the-age-of-44/

:tear

Tadao Jun 23rd, 2009 08:43 PM

Finland is actually pretty nimble.


10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 23rd, 2009 09:27 PM

He's huntin for Lasagna

Aaarg Jun 24th, 2009 01:12 AM

so j had a rough day at work today. he was abnormally down. his wife says "will a blowjob make you feel better?"

why can i never meet a woman like this?

Misdemonar Jun 24th, 2009 01:19 AM

BECAUSE I HATE YOU

Aaarg Jun 24th, 2009 01:24 AM

fuck! please stop hating me, then!

Misdemonar Jun 24th, 2009 01:32 AM

NOT IN YOUR LIFETIME BUB

Aaarg Jun 24th, 2009 01:43 AM

D:

Dimnos Jun 24th, 2009 10:49 AM

My wife just sent me a txt message

"Will you massage my boobs when you get home. They hurt."

:lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 24th, 2009 12:54 PM

:lol

Kitsa Jun 24th, 2009 01:20 PM

she must have magical boobs.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 24th, 2009 01:31 PM

As in they do tricks?

Kitsa Jun 24th, 2009 01:50 PM

as in the average woman with sore boobs would not want anyone rubbing them. It's like jabbing a bruise.

Dimnos Jun 24th, 2009 01:59 PM

Either way I dont care. Its not every day you receive a formal invitation to play with boobs.

Tadao Jun 24th, 2009 03:13 PM

:posh

Dimnos Jun 24th, 2009 03:32 PM

:boob:boob

Tadao Jun 24th, 2009 03:34 PM

:boob:posh:boob

Dimnos Jun 24th, 2009 03:41 PM

:boob:yum:boob

Tadao Jun 24th, 2009 03:48 PM

:lol

Sam Jun 24th, 2009 04:20 PM

I went miniature golfing and one of the obstacles is a pony all on it's hind legs with it's package out.




someone broke the cock off it

Tadao Jun 24th, 2009 04:22 PM

The Catholic church. :tear

Sam Jun 24th, 2009 04:24 PM

Someone was like "how dare this horse have a cock where my children conduct miniature business" *SNAP*

Tadao Jun 24th, 2009 04:32 PM

"How dare that pony penis be bigger than mine, the girl I took here commented on how small and cute the pony cock is >: "

Kitsa Jun 24th, 2009 06:00 PM

I ate too much and now I feel all gross :(

Tadao Jun 24th, 2009 06:11 PM

I got the new Dinosaur Jr. album with bonus cd last night. I'm afraid to listen to it because I don't want to hate it.

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 12:47 AM

Hey Sam, I have another Ween for you.

ween - all request live

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 12:57 AM

Fine fag, eat shit and die then.

Dixie Jun 25th, 2009 01:00 AM

The Frankie Valley Story, Day 3:
i fucking hate the french hip-hop version of "oh what a night" much more than i hate the original version

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 25th, 2009 01:07 AM

How dare you hat the french "anything"

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 01:16 AM

Late December back in 63? I love that song. can anyone really ruin it?

Dixie Jun 25th, 2009 01:26 AM

yes they can

Fathom Zero Jun 25th, 2009 04:27 AM

HOW TERRIBLE OF THEM

Kitsa Jun 25th, 2009 07:48 AM

You want to hear a shitty French song, try "Dur Dur d'être Bébé"


Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 12:47 PM

:puke

Kitsa Jun 25th, 2009 03:54 PM

I was proactive today!

A neighbor was having a garage sale and I was getting pissed at all the people parking in my driveway and walking across my yard. I mean, what the fuck?

So I took my dog out and let her shit all over the front yard instead of the backyard.

People are still parking in my driveway and walking through my yard, but it's way more entertaining now.

Dimnos Jun 25th, 2009 03:56 PM

Just back your car up so they cant.

Dimnos Jun 25th, 2009 03:58 PM

Or better yet. Make a sign that says "Unauthorized vehicles with be spray painted"

Kitsa Jun 25th, 2009 03:59 PM

lol, I don't drive, household car is gone for the day.

I dunno, I'm pretty happy with my dogshit solution.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 25th, 2009 04:04 PM

Just sit in the driveway on a lawn chair in a wifebeater then. That'll learn 'em.

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 04:10 PM

Put a 5 dollar parking sign up.

Dimnos Jun 25th, 2009 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 635254)
Put a 5 dollar parking sign up.

That was my next idea. Might as well make some cash. :lol

Dimnos Jun 25th, 2009 04:17 PM

Has anyone hit some droppings yet?

Fathom Zero Jun 25th, 2009 04:49 PM

I was proactive today, as well. I mowed my lawn!

Kitsa Jun 25th, 2009 05:36 PM

Oh, yes, there have been several sucessful hits. That's why I'm so happy with the solution.

I also heard "I hate people who won't pick up their dog's crap", which was simply delightful.

Dimnos Jun 25th, 2009 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 635271)
Oh, yes, there have been several sucessful hits. That's why I'm so happy with the solution.

I also heard "I hate people who won't pick up their dog's crap", which was simply delightful.

:lol nice

Kitsa Jun 25th, 2009 06:52 PM

Michael Jackson died?!?

The Leader Jun 25th, 2009 06:57 PM

Where have you been?

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 07:12 PM


Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 635297)
farrah is also dead but she's not getting any news coverage whatsoever because of michael. :(

Boys of my age are still way more sad about Farrah's death.

Esuohlim Jun 25th, 2009 07:20 PM

did you guys hear michale jordan died

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 08:04 PM

Rumors abound that Jeff Goldblum died earlier this morning in New Zealand. What say you Pub?

Fathom Zero Jun 25th, 2009 08:08 PM

He's supposed to be on Law and Order now.

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 08:12 PM

True. I'm sure the episodes the play on Sundays haven't been pre recorded at all.

Mockery Jun 25th, 2009 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 635313)
Rumors abound that Jeff Goldblum died earlier this morning in New Zealand. What say you Pub?

That story was generated from a hoax site. You can put in any person's name and it generates a fake story. Goldblum is fine. He was just on The Colbert Report in NYC joking about Obama killing "The Fly" :P

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 08:18 PM

I only trust my gossip news from Pub.

elx Jun 25th, 2009 08:32 PM

did you guys know that chuck norris is like 69 years old?

i thought he was like 40

executioneer Jun 25th, 2009 08:34 PM

did chuck norris die too

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 08:35 PM

I'm kinda glad Jackson took the media bullet for Farrah.

executioneer Jun 25th, 2009 08:37 PM

they clearly got the causes of death mixed up- butt cancer is a much funnier thing for m. jackson to have died from

Sam Jun 25th, 2009 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 635327)
did you guys know that chuck norris is like 69 years old?

i thought he was like 40

THAT'S BECAUSE HE USES THE TOTAL GYM

Kitsa Jun 25th, 2009 09:23 PM

I was just surprised, is all. It wasn't an "elbow everyone aside to bring the news to a forum" thing.

When I was a kid, Michael Jackson was the shit. I had a pair of red high-top leather reeboks because he wore them in a video once. I got Michael Jackson trading cards and puffy stickers at the mall. Kids used to wear one glove to school, and when his hair caught on fire I was actually distraught enough to write in my little kiddie diary about it.

It's just really, really strange, that's all.

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 09:27 PM

Oh man, I wanna read that kiddie diary page.

DAM YOU PEPSI!

Kitsa Jun 25th, 2009 09:44 PM

I could spell.

It was the same night as the premiere of the miniseries V, because I was horrified that Diana ate a guinea pig.

Tadao Jun 25th, 2009 10:45 PM

I wonder if Dusk is from the GBfans forums.

Esuohlim Jun 25th, 2009 11:04 PM

I'm already tired of hearing about Michael Jackson, so I'm glad it'll take weeks before the media stops talking about him.

And Farrah Fawcett too I guess idk

Fathom Zero Jun 25th, 2009 11:12 PM


Fathom Zero Jun 25th, 2009 11:14 PM

http://gizmodo.com/5302406/bake-a-de...ur-way-to-work

Kitsa Jun 26th, 2009 07:42 AM

Our AC went out yesterday during a heat wave. It's one of those things you don't really appreciate until it's 95-100F in the house and smells like Calcutta.

Dimnos Jun 26th, 2009 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 635394)
Our AC went out yesterday during a heat wave. It's one of those things you don't really appreciate until it's 95-100F in the house and smells like Calcutta.

Mine went out Sunday. Had to have an entire new unit installed. Ran me about 4 grand. >:

Kitsa Jun 26th, 2009 10:13 AM

:(

That's one of the only reasons I'm glad I'm in a rental right now.

Check this out, BJs for snack foods:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...091chips1.html

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marks960 Jun 26th, 2009 03:26 PM

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Shrubfest Jun 26th, 2009 03:26 PM

Shut up, Spambot.

We want to know more about snack/BJ exchanges.

marks960 Jun 26th, 2009 03:28 PM

Nintendo R4

marks960 Jun 26th, 2009 03:30 PM

Juego Nintendo R4

Tadao Jun 26th, 2009 03:31 PM

I wonder if she has greasy hands and lips from those chips.

Dimnos Jun 26th, 2009 03:31 PM

What do the ladies give out for head? That is what I want to know.

Dimnos Jun 26th, 2009 03:32 PM

You would think they could have just said they were on a date. He bought her dinner and she was just giving him dessert. ;)

Sam Jun 26th, 2009 03:38 PM

HEY SHRUBFEST I GOT A BOX OF CHIPS FOR YOU. ;)

Sam Jun 26th, 2009 03:38 PM

OR MAYBE YOU GOT A BOX OF CHIPS FOR ME. ;)

Sam Jun 26th, 2009 03:39 PM

OR MAYBE WE JUST SKIP THE BOX OF CHIPS. ;)

Sam Jun 26th, 2009 03:40 PM

I COULD SKIP THE CHIPS AND GO STRAIGHT FOR THE BOX. ;)


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