I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Blabber (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Esuohlim Sep 11th, 2005 11:26 PM


Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
If I hadn't run out of chloroform I WOULDN'T HAVE, I mean come on >:

What happened to the postcount bragging plan?

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim


JESSICA ALBA >:


Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 12:57 AM

I know, wtf. Even I would have constant sex with me because of my post count.

And I have. >:

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
I know, wtf. Even I would have constant sex with me because of my post count.

And I have. >:

Yeah. ;)

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:03 AM

Born in Pomona, California, on April 28, 1981, Jessica Alba and her family moved to Biloxi, Mississippi, when she was an infant. Three years later, her Air Force father brought the family back to California, then to Del Rio, Texas, before finally settling in Southern California when Jessica was nine.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:05 AM

In love with the idea of becoming an actress from the age of five, she was 12 before she took her first acting class. Nine months later she was signed by an agent. A gifted young actress, Jessica has already played a variety of roles ranging from light comedy to gritty drama since beginning her career.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:06 AM

She made her feature film debut in 1993 in Hollywood Pictures' comedy Camp Nowhere (1994). Originally hired for two weeks, she got her break when an actress in a principal role suddenly dropped out. Jessica cheerfully admits it wasn't her prodigious talent or charm that inspired the director to tap her to take over the part--it was her hair, which matched the original performer's. The two-week job stretched to two months, and Jessica ended the film with an impressive first credit.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:07 AM

Two national TV commercials for Nintendo and J.C. Penney quickly followed before Jessica was featured in several independent films. She branched out into TV in 1994 with a recurring role in Nickelodeon's popular comedy series "The Secret World of Alex Mack" (1994). She played an insufferable young snob, devoted to making life miserable for the the title character, played by Larisa Oleynik.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:08 AM

That same year she won the role of Maya in "Flipper" (1995) and filmed the pilot for the series. She spent 1995 shooting the first season's episodes in Australia. An avid swimmer and PADI-certified scuba diver, Jessica was delighted to be doing a show that allowed her to play with dolphins. The show's success guaranteed it a second season, which she also starred in. Her involvement in the show lasted from 1995 to 1997. Since the show ended, Jessica has appeared in a number of television shows and movies.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:09 AM

In 1996 she appeared in Venus Rising (1995) as Young Eve. In 1997 she appeared on the "The Dini Petty Show" (1989), a Canadian talk show, and spoke about her role in "Flipper" and her general acting career. She began working on P.U.N.K.S. (1999), featuring Randy Quaid, in 1998.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:10 AM

In early 1998 she appeared in "Brooklyn South" (1997), as Melissa. The same year she was in two episodes of "Beverly Hills, 90210" (1990) as Leanne and in two episodes of "The Love Boat: The Next Wave" (1998).

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:11 AM

She appeared in "Teen Magazine" in 1995 and various European magazines in the following several years. More importantly, she was featured in the February 1999, issue of "Vanity Fair".

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:12 AM

She also had major roles in two movies that year: Never Been Kissed (1999) and Idle Hands (1999). In 2000 she had roles in Paranoid (2000/I) and Dark Angel (2000) (TV).

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:12 AM

Sister of Joshua Alba

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:13 AM

Was #1 on Maxim's Hot 100 Babe List. [2001]

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:14 AM

Her father is Mexican, her mother is of French and Danish descent.

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 01:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
"The Secret World of Alex Mack" (1994)

Are you for serious? :eek

And all that time watching Nickelodeon I've been busy being in love with Michelle Trachtenburg from Pete and Pete >:

But Alex Mack was a gay show anyway :(

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:15 AM

Was voted the fifth Sexiest Female Star for 2002 in a Hollywood.com poll. She reported plans to wed fiance Michael Weatherly this summer. [February 2002]

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
And all that time watching Nickelodeon I've been busy being in love with Michelle Trachtenburg from Pete and Pete >:



:(

FUCK, ONE MINUTE PLS >:

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 01:20 AM



There :(

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Was voted the fifth Sexiest Female Star for 2002 in a Hollywood.com poll. She reported plans to wed fiance ESUOHLIM this summer.

FIXED >:

Marc Summers Sep 12th, 2005 01:22 AM

I was in love with Clarissa from Clarissa Explains it All

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marc Summers
I was in love with Clarissa from Clarissa Explains it All

GOOGLE SEARCH COMES BACK WITH NOTHING TASTEFUL

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
"The Secret World of Alex Mack" (1994)

Are you for serious? :eek

And all that time watching Nickelodeon I've been busy being in love with Michelle Trachtenburg from Pete and Pete >:

But Alex Mack was a gay show anyway :(

I used to watch Alex Mack ten years ago. I don't remember Alba though. :(

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:39 AM


Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Was voted the fifth Sexiest Female Star for 2002 in a Hollywood.com poll. She reported plans to wed fiance ESUOHLIM this summer.

FIXED >:

Whoops, yeah I missed a bit. :(

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim


There :(

She has a freaky long neck. :hypno

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marc Summers
I was in love with Clarissa from Clarissa Explains it All

I used to watch that show as well.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
And all that time watching Nickelodeon I've been busy being in love with Michelle Trachtenburg from Pete and Pete

I never watched that show, or even heard of it till I joined I-Mock. :(

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:48 AM

Her show "Dark Angel" (2000) was canceled after two seasons on Fox.

Vote #4 in the Top 10 Sci-Fi Babes in 2002 for her role as Max in "Dark Angel" (2000).

Loves to play golf.

Has started training in dance and Tae Bo two months prior to the start of scheduled filming on her new film, Honey (2003). [July 2002]

Voted in at #6 in FHM's Sexiest Girls of 2002 poll, American edition. [June 2002]

Graduated high school at age 16.

Has a tatoo of a daisy with a ladybug on it on the back of her neck.

Her second cousin is skateboarding legend Steve "Salba" Alba.

She co-starred in one epidode of "Dark Angel" (2000) with her brother, Joshua Alba, entitled "...And Jesus Brought a Casserole." He played, Krit, one of her X-5 brothers who wanted to help destroy Manticore in the Season 1 finale.


Mentioned in the D12 song "My Band".

Was "Punk'd" (2003) on the Ashton Kutcher-hosted MTV show in 2003. Dax Shepard showed up fully nude at a clothing store Jessica was patronizing, following Miss Alba around the store and exposing his "business" to the blushing actress as she tried to shop for clothes. The soon-to-be Mrs. Michael Weatherly was a good sport after being informed it was all a practical joke, taped for the short-lived MTV show.

Though it is common for actresses and female pop stars to strip down to various states of undress for magazine layouts and movie/TV scenes, she has stated that she is a very modest girl and would never do a nude scene or pose topless in a magazine. She has posed for men's magazines fully dressed, however.

Ranked #12 in Stuff magazine's "102 Sexiest Women in the World" (2002).

Said once in an interview that she began preparing her own meals as a child to control her weight and maintain her health. She said the food her family prepared led to weight problems for them, so she avoided that.

After graduating from high school, she studied with William H. Macy and his wife, Felicity Huffman, at David Mamet's Atlantic Theater Company.

Named one of "50 Most Beautiful People" by People Magazine. [2005]

Had asthma as a child.

She wanted to become an actress at the age of five.

Became anorexic the same year she had a kidney infection (2001).

Measurements: 34-24-34 according to an interview with Rolling Stone magazine
Personal quotes

"I'm really good at being sarcastic with guys. That's the best way to hang out with them, because that's what guys like. They don't want the quiet, prissy little things."

"I like Spongebob Squarepants. He's goofy, like me."

I just don't have a great feeling about what we're doing in Iraq. I don't know why we're there. Didn't we just give the power back over there? Why are we still there? [July 2004]

"My father is Mexican and very dark; my mother is very fair. I used to always get [script] breakdowns for things like Maria, the janitor's daughter who hangs around with white kids. I was born in the United States. I never thought about it until the industry made me think about being a Latin girl. It seemed like such a bizarre thing." (commenting on racial stereotyping).

"My grandfather was the only Mexican at his college, the only Hispanic person at work and the only one at the all-white country club. He tried to forget his Mexican roots, because he never wanted his kids to be made to feel different in America. He and my grandmother didn't speak Spanish to their children. Now, as a third-generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose."

"Men are much bigger divas than women. When I used to do the action scenes in Dark Angel, I would have to play it rough. If you hit an actress accidentally, she would usually take it on the chin and say, `Don't do that again.' But with the guys, they would put ice on it, take a 20-minute break and ask for x-rays. It was unbelievable. I would tell them, `Come on, man, get over it.' That's actors for you."

"There is always an unspoken problem about casting Latina actresses. I have heard Jennifer Lopez talk about how it was for her, always being up for the role of the Latina chick."

"What happens when the looks fade?. If I don't establish myself as someone who can act a part rather than look the part, I will soon be finished."

"I love listening to Coldplay. But sometimes I listen to it too much and it depresses me. I call it a 'reflective' mood."

"One of the reasons why I chose not to be a devout Christian is because a lot of people gave me a lot of grief for just being a woman and made me feel ashamed for having a body because it tempted men."

"The most important thing I have learned in life was that being a teenager wasn't forever. I had a hard time being a teenager."

"I don't hang out with the Hollywood cool people. I'm not out trying to make friends with people because they're famous."

"I have my own spiritual thing, but am not part of an organized religion. I think religion is very special and individual to each person."

"I don't need to be in the press or seen. Just because I'm not in magazines or because I'm not in a movie doesn't mean I'm going away. It just means I have some sense of integrity."

"Living in L.A., everyone likes to mold you and change you. I don't care about fame, I don't care about being a celebrity. I know that's part of the job, but I don't feed into anyone's idea of who I should be."

'I used to come to Beverly Hills for auditions as a kid and think, "Why don't I live here? Why don't I drive that car?"'

'I wasn't given a whole lot in my life. I was on the bottom of the class system. But I got wisdom. I never just did what people told me. I questioned everything. When I look back, it is really no surprise that I started working at 12.'

'From a very early age, I remember thinking that adults were always acting like assholes. I couldn't understand why I had to respect them. My pre-school teacher forced me to write right-handed when I was left-handed. I didn't get why I had to change. Nobody could give me a reason. I have had a big problem with authority ever since.'

On being raised by young parents: 'We all grew up together. My parents were so young. My dad hates it when I talk about our past, about not having things, living with Grandma, wearing thrift-store clothes, cutting coupons.'

On learning Spanish: 'I have a great accent because I grew up hearing it in the neighbourhood. But I have no idea what I'm saying.'

On growing up in L.A.: 'I never really belonged anywhere. I wasn't white. I was shunned by the Latin community for not being Latin enough. My grandfather was the only one in our family to go to college. He made a choice not to speak Spanish in the house. He didn't want his kids to be different.'

'It's not always so great to be objectified but I don't feel I have much of a choice right now. I'm young in my career. I know I have to strike when the iron is hot. I look forward to the day when I can do a small movie and act and it's not about me wearing a bathing suit or chaps.'

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:49 AM

That was going to be 20 easy posts but then my internet dropped out & I got bored with the idea. :(

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Has a tatoo of a daisy with a ladybug on it on the back of her neck.

She has a tatoo of something somewhere else too :eek

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
She has a freaky long neck. :hypno

Yeah, I wish she didn't. It's gonna be flabby and gross in 30 years :(

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Has a tatoo of a daisy with a ladybug on it on the back of her neck.

She has a tatoo of something somewhere else too :eek

OMG! What? :eek

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 01:53 AM

SHE HAS A TATOO THAT SAYS "<3 ESUOHLIM" ON HER BEHIND I TOLD HER TO GET IT LAST NIGHT AND SHE DID :eek

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
She has a freaky long neck. :hypno

Yeah, I wish she didn't. It's gonna be flabby and gross in 30 years :(

Eww, flabby neck. :x

Then again I'd be 50, so I think I'd probably still do her. :|

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
SHE HAS A TATOO THAT SAYS "<3 ESUOHLIM" ON HER BEHIND I TOLD HER TO GET IT LAST NIGHT AND SHE DID :eek

It's great when they're wasted. :)

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Then again I'd be 50...

Fifty-Two >:

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 02:07 AM

Google image search is nerdy. A search for 'broken' brings up a picture of a Klingon. :rolleyes

Matt Harty Sep 12th, 2005 12:22 PM

THERE WILL BE NO SHIT TALKING OF MY GF

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 03:07 PM

hey matt

Rongi Sep 12th, 2005 03:09 PM

omg palindrome post count

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 03:10 PM

RUINED :(

you though in four posts :eek

Rongi Sep 12th, 2005 03:10 PM

you fucking ruined it >:

Rongi Sep 12th, 2005 03:11 PM

my eyes hurt

i hate being sick :(

Guitar Woman Sep 12th, 2005 03:15 PM

what are you sick with rongi :(

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 03:16 PM

LOVE

Guitar Woman Sep 12th, 2005 03:17 PM

there's a vaccine for that now I think

Guitar Woman Sep 12th, 2005 03:41 PM

Oh fuck, I just realized I'm an hour late for a doctor's appointment :(
Thanks a lot you guys >:

Guitar Woman Sep 12th, 2005 03:45 PM

The page has been broken :eek

Rongi Sep 12th, 2005 03:48 PM

i think i have strep or some shit

i have some beatles song stuck in my head, but i dont know which

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 03:54 PM

HEY JUDE
TAKE A SAD SONG
ETC.

Guitar Woman Sep 12th, 2005 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi
i think i have strep or some shit

i have some beatles song stuck in my head, but i dont know which

How's it go?

Rongi Sep 12th, 2005 04:00 PM

i think it's dont pass me by. i dont even like that song though

Rongi Sep 12th, 2005 04:03 PM

it was dont pass me by. stupid song

Guitar Woman Sep 12th, 2005 04:06 PM

All my least favorite songs get stuck in my head :(

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt Harty
THERE WILL BE NO SHIT TALKING OF MY GF

When did that happen?

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 06:21 PM

REMEMBER TO LET HER INTO YOUR <3

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 07:15 PM

Yeah.

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 10:08 PM

I'm thirsty I think I'll have a GATORADE >:

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 10:17 PM

Good Plan.

MetalMilitia Sep 12th, 2005 10:32 PM

its very late at night pub lover

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia
its very late at night pub lover

It's the middle of the afternoon in the FUTURE! :eek

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProfessorCool
Prongi is dead.

Me, Sam, pub, and Ninja are making a new message board though :x

This is the first reference to me in this thread. It's on page 103.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Retro Kat
Pub has that avatar, too

Yeah, it is my sister. :(

This was my first post in this thread. It's on page 107.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:10 PM

I then bitched that this thread sucks. :rolleyes

ScruU2wice Sep 12th, 2005 11:13 PM

Matt harty is a jerk on AIM >:

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScruU2wice
Matt harty is a jerk on AIM >:

I was under the impression that Matt Harty is a jerk in all things.

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 11:18 PM

Holy crap Pub Lover you have no life lol

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
I was under the impression that Matt Harty is a jerk in all things.

Just like the rest of us. :(

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 11:20 PM

THE FIRST REFERENCE TO ME WAS ON PAGE 1. IN FACT, IT WAS POST 12 >:

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Holy crap Pub Lover you have no life lol

Yeah.

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
All of you could post once a minute for like 2 straight days and I'd still win. :hat

This is my first post, on page 2. Even almost two years ago it's still true :( :(

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
THE FIRST REFERENCE TO ME WAS ON PAGE 1. IN FACT, IT WAS POST 12 >:

Back then I thought it was stupid to have a high postcount. Then I thought it was ironic to postwhore. Then I really cared if my postcount was higher than someone else. :(

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 11:22 PM


Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:23 PM

No Page Break for me.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
It took you until page 107? That's like a quarter of this thread.

I was off being cool in the other forums.(as far as I remember) Plus I don't enjoy madlibs.

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 11:27 PM

Like caeks.com :eek

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 11:28 PM

Speaking of which, where the hell is liquidstatik and ArtificialBrandon >:

Esuohlim Sep 12th, 2005 11:29 PM

oh shit i'm getting close to 8000 now :( :(

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
All of you could post once a minute for like 2 straight days and I'd still win. :hat

This is my first post, on page 2. Even almost two years ago it's still true :( :(

Are you proud?

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Like caeks.com :eek

haha, remember that place? :lol

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Speaking of which, where the hell is liquidstatik and ArtificialBrandon >:

Statik got banned, I can't remember for what. I think Brandon still pops up occasionally.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2005 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
oh shit i'm getting close to 8000 now :( :(

If I was you, I'd be pushing hard for the 10K mark.

Sam Sep 13th, 2005 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Speaking of which, where the hell is liquidstatik and ArtificialBrandon >:

THAT WAS MY SITE TOO >:

ME AND STATIK >:

OMG ANGRY FACE TO SHOW MY ANGER AT YOU MILHOUSE >:

FEEL MY ANGER >:

>: >: >: >: >: >: >: >: >: >: >: >:

Esuohlim Sep 13th, 2005 12:41 AM

WHY DON'T YOU GO F U, SAM. YOU WROTE LIKE WHAT ONE THING ON THAT SITE COME ON.

Esuohlim Sep 13th, 2005 12:42 AM

IF IT WAS MY SITE I'D LET YOU ORGANIZE THE GUESTBOOK MAYBE BUT THAT'S IT >:

Bell E. Laffs Sep 13th, 2005 02:06 AM

shutup, assho

Lil' Johnny Sep 13th, 2005 02:08 AM

Why don't you shut up, "assho"?

Bell E. Laffs Sep 13th, 2005 02:46 AM

You stink, you must be skunk.

Get it?

Sucker

Lil' Johnny Sep 13th, 2005 02:55 AM

No, I don't get it. Please expand upon the meaning of your joke, so that I might understand it, and not think you a severe retard.

Bell E. Laffs Sep 13th, 2005 02:56 AM

You smell like gay farts, :lol2

Lil' Johnny Sep 13th, 2005 02:57 AM

Gay farts? Are you implying that there is a difference between the flatulence of hetero and homosexuals?

Bell E. Laffs Sep 13th, 2005 02:58 AM

No pun intended.

Lil' Johnny Sep 13th, 2005 03:01 AM

So, you were not trying to make any... ah, fuck it, I can't keep this shit up forever.
Fuck you fag

Bell E. Laffs Sep 13th, 2005 03:02 AM

oh behave!

Bell E. Laffs Sep 13th, 2005 03:03 AM



WORKIN AT THE CARWASH!

Lil' Johnny Sep 13th, 2005 03:04 AM

You can see his pyoobs :x

MetalMilitia Sep 13th, 2005 09:24 AM

wow lil' johnny is pretty hardcore on the internet


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:29 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.