Chimp's New Big Thread
 

Who knows? Maybe I'll fill this one up soon. :(

Noone cares anymore, sorry.

So.. very.. true... To little too late.

achimp you are a little baby virgin shut up

For a smart boy he does seem to be a pussy..he's a smart pussy :)

I said maybe. :lol

:(

This thread made me sad.

so, you have to go into detail about how the last one ended

and how you somehow managed two relationships and an intact virginity

aChimp posted a link to that thread not too long ago. It took me three days to chip away at it due to alternating spurts of interest, disinterest and simian narcissism ... AND STILL NOT MONKEY SEX! >:

i'm talking about the last relationship, you faggot

i was around for the old thread unlike some hilarious newbies

Neither am I, you nancy. He posted a link to the board you all spawned from.

1. 'neither am i' isn't a sensible response to anything i said
2. i started posting two boards ago

:/ You're right. what I meant to say was that I wasn't talking about "this" board either.

I'm nopt sure whether we're talking about the same board or not, then. All I know is that it wasn't this one. :(

'i was around for the old thread unlike some hilarious newbies' was in reference to the old thread on the old board

in conclusion, you are gay :<

*let it be known i'm only arguing with you to pad this thread. in the name of tradition.

In conclusioner, Not everyone can be as much the party girl as you


Can't argue with tradition. :(

STOP REPLYING KELLYCHAOS

I thought I did talk about how my last relationship ended. :/

Ah well... maybe later tonight I'll post about that story again. The long and short of it, though, is that you can't be old-fashioned and a feminist at the same time without appearing cheap. I suddenly found myself with reduced access to a car, and she had just bought a new car, but she didn't "drive to guy's houses."

She especially didn't like it when I said she could drop me off at my neighbour's if she was that anal about it. I thought I was being funny. :)

Anyways, she got really offended and started telling me how a "gentleman" was supposed to act around a "lady," hung up on me a bunch of times (and dammit, she beat me to it on the last time I ever talked to her on the phone. I wanted to hang up! >: ), then stopped talking to me for a week all because I asked her if *maybe* she could drive once in a while.

The best line from her when I finally went to get all the stuff I had loaned her was, "I don't know if I want to be with you anymore if you're going to act like this over something small. What would you be like if something big ever happened?" :lol

The latests one, though... I'm still baffled and depressed. :(

You talked about the breakup with the first before, but we haven't heard anything about the new one other than she'd rather watch a sitcom than be with you.

for some reason it intrigues me :<

It is because you are sadistic. :(

I have done too much thinking over the last couple of months. I guess the whole thing boils down to: how the hell do you go from "I'm getting used to the idea of not being single anymore" to "I don't think we should be dating" in the span of a few days?

Of course, there's lots more to that, but I'm too lazy to type it now. :(

You crazy Canadian monkey...
I don't know if they teach this in sex ed in Canada, but in the USofA they teach us a very useful phrase... Chicks are dumb! It boils down to the fact that women don't know what the hell they want, & the other problem is men KNOW what they WANT!!! So my advice is to become gay, have all the sex you want, & make fun of women with your new gay Canadian monkey friends... or you can ignore women for a few years, play D&D, go to college, women are kinda slutty in college. Your final choice is to die alone, having your greatest acheivement being a few odd posting on a humor site's music site, & a cook book no one will buy...

"or you can ignore women for a few years, play D&D, go to college, women are kinda slutty in college. "

He is already in University. :lol

Really... Well Achimp, you are screwed... Stock up on hand lotion, & be prepaired to die alone...

i second the gay thing

Thank you for all the helpful advice. >:

you're welcome, sugar

Actually, this that really was good advice. :O

I will try to talk to her tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Whenever I see her. :)

She told me to talk to her on Friday. :O

softening you up for a break-up :<

Maybe. :eek

I need to think of things to say that will get me on her good side. ;)

she's already made her mind up.

Maybe. :(

But I will wear a clean t-shirt anyways. That always seems to help.

Actually, she told me to talk to her on Friday because she has an exam coming tomorrow and several labs to do in one of her summer courses and doesn't want to be distracted by DEEP THINKING. :chatter

that's another way of saying "don't bother me while i hump this other dude"

i got to level 3 and took a proficiency in speaking woman :<

AChimp, this person of which you speak never was 'your girlfriend', she just used you as a study aide & for tech support. :)

You are not being supportive. :(

I'll support you cause chimp. A lost cause, but still a cause.

Go get em', chimp!!! :) :/ :)

THAT'S THE SPIRIT. :(

Instead of going to the movies with his friends, Chimp is going to waste his Friday in another attempt to reignite this relationship. :/ Not a good idea.

You should go to the movies, chimp. She'll use it as a guilt trip bargaining chip to help her dump you, but she's gonna do it anyway.

If she loved you, she'd find the time to talk to you before friday. 'Simple as that.'

Don't go to the movies OR try to rekindle your relationship. I mean, what good movies could possibly be out right now?

I already told you I work tomorrow night and have to study for my exam on Monday. >:

Bar none. :(

Anyways, I figure that there's no harm in talking to her tomorrow. I don't really have any hopes, but there are a few things that I'd like to straighten out.

yeah, theres no harm in it.

from what youve told me though, I think It'd be best for yourself if you go into it simply to get closure, and for nothing else.

It really doesnt sound like shes interested, or that it will change any by tomorrow.

Its the uncertainty thats been fucking with you. Above all else, eliminate the uncertainty tomorrow. dont let the conversation turn into some ambiguous "maybe later" "not right now" type of shit, because then it will just bother you for another 3 months, and just keep repeating on you.
:chatter

Get to the point, get it sorted out, and maybe you'll still be "friends", whatever the fuck that means :blah

Just finnish it, so it doesnt fuck with you even more for the next year and a half.

Then it would be called "Chimp's Little Thread". >: Nuff said.

Exactly. :rolleyes

Okay, I talked to her. It didn't really turn out the way I expected it. In fact, it didn't really turn out as anything. :/

She was writing an exam today, so I waited outside the class and studied for my exam on Monday and she was surprised to see me, but was friendly. She said that she had to work that afternoon so any talking that we did wouldn't last very long.

I didn't want to start off with TEH SERIOUSE, so I just asked her how she was doing, how was class, etc. and then we walked around for a bit and everything seemed to be going good. She acted the same way that she had months ago. :/

She wanted to wait around outside her class to talk to other classmates about the exam a bit, and she had to give a paper to her lab partner, so I stayed with her and we talked some more.

Then more people started coming out of the exam room and she talked with them. I couldn't really participate in the conversation, so I just sat there and studied a bit more. Then, when those people left, she looked at me and said, "I'll be right back" and then went a little ways off to talk to one of her other classmates who had just appeared.

Okay, fine. I stayed there. No big deal.

She started walking back, but before she was halfway back to me, a couple more people came out of the room, including her lab partner. Of course, they started talking about the exam. That's all right, though, I thought. I do the same thing after big exams and tests.

However, after about 5 minutes, she looked over at me and blinked, then said, "Are you waiting for me?" Everyone in her group started staring at me.

"Uhh... yeah."

"Well, you can go. I've got a few places to go before I go to work."

"Uhh... okay... *pause*... are you available on Monday?"

"No, Monday is bad. I've got a lab, and so is Tuesday."

At this point, the group started to break up and she started walking away.

"So, uhh... what's a good time then?"

"I dunno. Just find me."

"That's what I have been doing."

"Oh, well then just e-mail me with a time."

"You haven't been checking your e-mail."

"Yeah, I'll get around to that sometime."

"Uhh... okay... bye?"

:(

I don't get it. Why be friendly to me when there's no one around, but then treat me like shit when there are other people around? I should point out, though, that it seems like she only treats me like shit when they are people that I don't know, yet she does.

It's almost as if she has to prove something to them, or something. :/

I would dump her if I were you. If she doesn't think you are good enough for her friends, then dump her. And that crap about "gentleman" and "lady" made me want to puke. Get rid of her. You deserve better than that manipulative bitch. :pac

The "gentleman" and "lady" stuff was the first one and she is long gone. In fact, I haven't seen her in over six months, so as far as I know, she might have died. :)

It is a new girl that is bothering me now. :(

that is what we call an "excuse" and its a very bad one too. Everybody checks their fucking email! she is lying to avoid the issue, and she will continue to do so, because she fears confrontation, and you are letting her get away with this.

She's obviously not interested, and instead of having the guts to say so, she is letting you follow her around aimlessly hoping that you might get a relevant piece of info from her, someday, maybe.

IMO thats way worse than just coming out and harshly telling yo that shes not interested. at least if she did that you'd know whats going on, and the matter would be resolved for both of you.

She is a coward, and you deserve better.

What a bitch. My recommendation: Go back and hang around Bailey's Western Civ class. All the cool girls are in that class. :love

I could use my Yanni-Fabio joke again. :)

Ah well. I will have to brood about this more and become depressed again and then go harass her again. She still has one of my textbooks. LOL.

Rough.

Edit: Sorry chimp, apparently you didn't think that was sufficient.

Don't think about it any more. Or else... pop. She's unaware of the power she has.

One other thing, i'm not going to go out of my way to talk to her, but if the opportunity comes up at school, i'll give her my mind.

I am enraged by your one word response. >:

This thread is about finding answers! :tear

i have no idea why i like chimp :<

um, anyway, even though you probably think that there's no-one else 'interested' in you, ditch her, please. you aren't going anywhere with her anyway and all roads lead to sol on this issue

chojin is right man, just forget about her already.

I you have any self respect at all you should stop pursuing this obviosly futile relationship.

If I stopped pursuing the relationship, there would be no point in this thread. :rolleyes

:love Chojin :love

Myabe if you stopped pursuing this relationship you could focus your attention on finding another woman to write a thread about :/

maybe you could even find a normal one, without stupid emotional issues and stuff :O

MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST FIND ONE. >:

:fudgee-o :(

LOL

but ey, this is "chimps big thread" not mine, if we're talking about me we have to make another one, which I dont intend to do :p

Chojin has a point for once! Chimp, as Bob Dylan famously sang, "You ain't goin' nowhere." In fact, you're already there.

Dude, the faster you get over her, the faster you can turn this into emotionally abusing her, instead of the other way round. Think ya can do it?

But being mean would totally ruin my chances. ;) :(

why do you ask for advice if you're going to blow it all off with a gay quip?

Because it was only recently that I started getting some non-gay quip advice. >:

The balance of gay has shifted. :(

I'm dead serious. If you can figure out how to send the signal that you aren't pleased to see her, aren't nervous, etc, you'll be much better off.

Hmm... so you're saying I should make her feel guilty for giving me the shaft and make her beg ME to take HER back? :)

Be like Fonzi ... and what is Fonzi? ... that's right, he's cool ...BE Fonzi ... invite her to the soda shop, punch the jukebox so that it plays a romantic lil diddy and then snap your fingers in such an authoritative way that it sends her scurrying into your arms and slow dancing to the melody of an old Platters love ballad. :)

I think I'll just be myself. :(

Yeah, that has always worked so well up till now. >:

fuck man, stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it already. its getting damned annoying.

If you really like her that much that you cant just let it go, your only option is to push the issue untill you are either accepted or get turned down in the harshest way. Its the chance you have to take, but at least the issue would be resolved.

Shes making excuses to avoid exactly this. It will never happen unless you force her to find 5 fucking minutes to talk to you.

But seriously, if shes being as much of a bitch as you make it sound like, I cant see how you actually would like her that much, and in that case you should just forget about her, and then you wont have to deal with it anymore.

I like my second option better, its easier, and I think I've heard enough to confidently say that it is the right course of action in this case.

on the other hand the harsh dumping that could result from the first option would make a better thread ;)

It all depends though. Is your heart set on her? are you madly in love with her and cant be with anyone else...

answer that question, then decide what you are going to do.

That's how girls are, man. You show some interest, and they get cold and run away. It's all part of the game. You need to catch her in a net and bash her skull in with a sharp and heavy rock.

Chimp, you know how dating and fishing are sometimes compared? Well, when you go fishing, sometimes you catch nothing, sometimes you catch something tasty, and sometimes you catch a beast fit only for the deepest pits of hell. Well, what you have on your hands is a case of the latter.

Good analogy.

Oh boy, wednesday is tomorrow. It's yet another chance to put this thing to an end. In all likelyhood, this thread will be active for at least another 6 months. :(

no, if he ditches her then it can go back to 'Best way to get a girlfriend' instead of 'what best to do with girlfriend'

i like the former a lot better anyway ;>

:lol

Yes, tomorrow I will try to talk to her again, and if she refuses, I will be mean. :(

:lol

lol @ soundtest :(

ps. hi fatbinge. :(

Chimp, where's the new, messy details? :(

Hi baby :yum

I thought you died or something? :/

I was going to wait outside her class for her to arrive this morning, but when I walked through the door into Armes, she was walking through the other door! It totally threw me off and I forgot everything that I was going to say. :(

So, I looked like an idiot and apologized for it and stuff. She seemed kinda amused. I'm going to write her a letter instead, because I obviously suck at talking. :/

rough

Why didn't you just empty a round into her? >:

lol :<

i say just ignore the cunt.

Once I am done the letter, I will. If she wants further contact with me, then she can initiate it, dammit.

Chicks like handwritten letters in blood, right? :(

Karen, lend Chimp your dildo. He needs a friend.

:)

you absolutely MUST post a copy of the letter before you send it to her.

so we can offer advice of course ;)

HOW BOUT NO. >:

:lol

I'm just kidding, relax.

but yes, hand written in blood is the shit.

once she smells your blood she'll be all over you man, trust me ;)

The letter has been delivered! :eek

:eek

you deliver in person or mail it?

OMG she could be reading it right now :chatter

In person. The D-Man went with me as back up in case she started biting. :eek

But she didn't bite, and took the letter and said she would talk to me later. I don't know how much later.

I don't even know if she'll actually read the letter, but it doesn't really matter now. :(

"It's been said that if you put a million monkeys in a room with a million typewriters, the group would eventually produce the entire works of Shakespeare. I say, "Who cares? You got a million typin' monkeys in one room! How cool is that?!?!"

-- Brad Osberg

Worst... quote... ever. Let's hope she reads the letter and feels so bad she jumps off a bridge. :)

Maybe. :eek

I really don't know how she'll feel. She might feel bad, or she could laugh her ass off and do a jig. :(

"she could laugh her ass off and do a jig."

She's going to have sex with a black guy? :)

LOL. :(