Hey guys, I feel extremely pleased with myself right now because I came up with the most reflexive joke-neologism that has no search results from google.

I thought of how to explain my verbose rendition of a simple pedophile joke. Obviously, "polishing a turd" came to mind, but that's rather crass. So, I had to do the same thing to that colloquialism, right?

I came up with "coprolitic tumbling", which would be the lapidarian/geological term for "polishing a turd". I will post this here right now so that any future Google searches across the globe will reveal me to be its creator.

ATTABOY

:lol

"Everyone hates you, get the fuck out of here."

"BUT I AIN'T GOT NO PLACE TO GO! :richardgear"

...... like the plant generates hovering? Dude, I need to find this guy, he's got to be hilarious to be around. You can laugh and laugh and he still thinks you're laughing with him.

:lol

FUCKIN HOVERCRAFT PLANT?! Holy shit, I'm sorry but that guy is a new hero of mine. hahahahahaha fuc*in hovercraft plant

"HEY RHYS, I TALKED TO THAT ONE WAITRESS, YA KNOW? CORENNA? YEAH, WELL, I ASKED HER OUT, AND SHE'S ALL LIKE, "NO". SO, LIKE, IF SHE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT ME," *wink*, "LEMME KNOW, ALLRIGHT?"

SO ANYWAY DID I TELL YOU THAT MY MOM WENT ON A POLICE TRAINING PROGRAM BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ANYWAY SO THAT'S HOW I GOT MACED. IN THE FACE.

MOUTH. OPEN.

YEAH.

SO YEAH, I JUST TOOK A DEFENSIVE DRIVING COURSE. AND, LIKE, I LEARNED STUFF. HEY, GUESS WHAT. GUESS WHAT YOU DO, IF LIKE, A GUY PULLS UP, IF LIKE, YOU'RE IN DEAD TRAFFIC AND ANOTHER GUY PULLS UP NEXT TO YOU AND POINTS A GUN AT YOU, WHAT DO YA DO?

GUESS.

WHAT DO YA DO?

YOU FLOOR IT.

THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.



WHAT? OH, YOU'RE AT A STOP SIGN. SO ANYWAY, JUST GO, MAN, JUST FLOOR IT

For the record, mace hurts. We got these girls at my school who are frickin' trigger happy with it; if you even startle them by accident you get a face full a of it.

DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I FUCKED MY SISTER?

IT WAS AVERAGE

SO I MADE A DIRTBIKE OUT OF A BICYCLE AND A BLENDER MOTOR
I TOTALLY RAN OUT A MUGGER IN A TRUCK ON IT.



..... do Alabamians say totally?

I played a SpaceQuest game once. I heard footsteps & then died. Over & Over & over & ove

GODDAMNIT YOU GUYS JUST DON'T STOP TALKING AND NOW I'M COMPLETELY LOST.
BUT I GOT RID OF MY EX.
AND NO I DON'T FUCK HIM ANYMORE THANKS FOR THAT IMPLICATION YOU ASSHOLES.

We all went to put our pyjamas on.

You don't fuck him? the what good is his coming over?

Yeah, I'm actually curious about that

I never want to see my ex gf again, ever. Did this guy take the "let's be friends" thing literally, or what

He's hoping for the fuck, but I kind of think there's a stalker aura around him as well.

I feel so aloooooooone.

Someone else needs to draw some vicious pajamas real quick, I don't really want to draw anything more than I have to tonight

I'm thinking so. He kept telling me that we should go to counseling and then everything would be okay! Then I'd explain that threatening to kill your child does not make me overly hopeful as to his mental stability and he'd say, no all we need is couple's counseling...
Fucker.

You know that bit in Moulin Rouge where Jim Broadbent is about to sing that old Madonna hit & he says the song's titular phrase? That.

You have kids, damn, I figured you were sixteen or something

Google her hotmail name. She's 26.

26. At least I-mock checks my ID still.

Jesus Pub did you really google my hotmail name? THAT'S SO HOT.