In fact, I don't trust white people here either

Rednecks're allright, but wannabe rednecks? >:

That game was awesome. I remember I had to have a SUPERVGA to play it. Sierra, what happened? What happened :(

What if you were backwards and redneck at one point in time, and have since realized how incredibly stupid you were and sounded :(

I'm just sayin

I once was in a training sequence to become a teacher for Kaplan, coaching GRE strategies to classes of college students who have the financial resources to pay $850 for 20 hours of lessons but not the actual intelligence to get into grad school. This was funny because I had never actually taken the GRE in a formal setting myself, you see, nor had I even graduated from college (a sad fact that holds true today).

When I had to give sample lessons to the trainers, they thought at first that I'd be a fantastic teacher because of the way I'd explain the hidden intricacies of etymology, even for those frequent cases where I had no idea what a word meant until I looked it up in the cheat sheet in the teacher's manual. At one point I was explaining the word "aver", and I gave the following insider tip:

You see, even though we all know well that "ver" comes from the Latin "veritas", meaning "truth", I often get confused myself with the a- prefix. The trick here is to keep in mind that Latin roots and Greek roots usually stick with other roots of the same language, so here we relate the a- to the Latin "towards" and not the Greek "not" or "un-" because of "veritas" being Latin.

The trainer just kind of interrupted and had to collect his thoughts for a long while before scolding me about my assumptions of how much Greek and Latin my target audience had taken in their coursework.

Anyways, the whole thing fell through because I refused to invest the effort in memorizing 30-minute sequences verbatim of procedures to explain how to find the area of a triangle. I could have collected on some training pay, but the paperwork was so tedious on my end that I was satisfied to just keep their PRICELESS and SECRET teacher's manual for when I actually want to take the GRE.

they sold out ;_;

It's pictures like these that no longer make me wonder why I get Jon Stewart all the time in celebrity look-alike sites :(

Hey Mattjack, one of my best friends here regularly uses cellophane strips for an impromptu belt, and he's awesome, regular redneck is fine

Yeah, it was. We used to have these floppies with games like King's Quest, some dungeon crawler game (it encouraged LARPing, dumb as it was) and B-17 Flying Fortress. Loved Flying Fortress, you had to switch around positions on your B-17 and guide your squad to the bomb site, while shooting down planes, all in #3D. Damned hard, though, I just ended up shooting my own plane/s and bailing out, somehow getting a purple hart in the process. I also remember some golf game, where you could go into the men's room to save of all places, the freaking urinal. Also, railroad tycoon, the original.

Indiana, Mister Texas.

if its the super vga one its probably space quest 4

was there time travelling and nightmarish screaming cyborgs

cellophane strips? I only use cellophane to package my bathtub meth I produce

Oh god, firecrackers in MY parking lot! At this time of night! >:

Umm, my last post used to be relevant or something.

The 7-11 comment is funny because I work as a Goodwill cashier, and since I've said as much I assumed that was ingrained in everyone's head along with every other biographical detail of my life.

You know, like living in Illinois right now and shit.

For me to explain the sadistic pleasures of working at Goodwill, mostly from dealing with middle-aged/middle-class women who think they're the pinnacle of culture because they have secretarial jobs at Indiana University, would be more than I'm prepared to do right now.

But when a kid comes into work at the restaurant with less of an accent that I have, claims he's from a ranch, in Alabama, (that's in the South. That's where he's from, the South. He's southern), where he and his redneck friends (they were from the South, where he's from. In Alabama. On a ranch) would supposedly shock each other with cattleprods regularly (on the ranch, where he's from, in the South. 'Cause he's Southern) and then brag about that one time he totally went up a ninety degree angled hill in his V6 truck at 120 miles per hour...

Well, that's when I start to get irritated with the fake rednecks

THIS WAS A FUNNY JOKE 9 PAGES AGO >: >: IT'S LIKE ALL I'VE BEEN DOING TODAY IS CATCHING UP ON THIS THREAD >: FUCJ :(

IT'S ALL PART OF 'MERICA

I can barely remember it. I just remember I was a blonde guy in a red suit (?) who was on this big space adventure. I used my senses (like smell, taste, touch) and wit to get through levels. I'd easily pay 20 bucks for that game again :(

I'm sorry Seth. I was thinking of EMU :(

He's cool too, right?

Buy a cattleprod. Find out if he's lying.

We got rid of that motherfucker right about the time he started bragging to us about being rejected by the waitresses. Massively.

*SHRIEK*

Wait, I don't think a truck would even GO 120. You shoulda put his ass in a dumpster.

A ranch in Alabama? They got farms. That should have been your first clue

He specifically told us that he just didn't have what it took to be a dishwasher. Right after the boss told him that everyone hated his guts

LIFE put his ass in a dumpster

well its on GameTap so if you buy a 9.99 subscription :eek

Our first CLUE was when he came in and told us that he "wouldn't be working here long, 'cause he just got a job at that hovercraft plant that's coming in"


Don't think I'm kidding.