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Helpful Tips by Evil Robot
 Don't masturbate during job interviews! Doing so may cause the potential employer to think your a psychopath. |
If you are a Muslim applicant, you may want to consider converting to Christianity, it will improve your chances of landing that dream job! |
Always bring two copies of your resume in case you cut yourself on broken glass on the way to the interview and get blood on one of them. |
I actually knew someone who cut themselves prior to the interview, walked in dripping, and was picked up by the police at the Job Center. But he had big mental problems, and you're just being practical.
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SHHHHHH
EVIL ROBOT IS HELPING ME RIGHT NOW |
EVIL ROBOT RULES
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If you happen to get drunk and vomit on your suit the night before your interview, wear it anyway. It's better to show up with vomit stains than to show up naked! |
hehehe that last one was the best.
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Here's a good one: If you have a name with the "Le" "La" or "De" prefix as in "Demarkus" or "Leshawn" consider changing your name to sound less "ethnic". Racism is still real sadly.
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What the fuck do you think you're doing?
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Contrary to popular belief, if you should ever travel back in time, it is OK to change things. Fuck it! |
If during the interview the topic of family should come up, don't hesitate to show your interviewer photos you took of your children. You should not, however, show them photos you took of thier children. |
God bless you Evil Robot
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