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Guitar Woman Apr 18th, 2011 01:20 AM

But if I don't put effort into my work I'll be a sad Saucy.

Guitar Woman. Whatever.

Maybe I'll do a real review and then a little crappy one and make him choose between them.

Tadao Apr 18th, 2011 01:45 AM

That's a very good idea, just so long as you put real effort into the short one. He needs to know that you can do it.

Esuohlim Apr 18th, 2011 09:16 AM

Two inches of snow on April 18 >:

I know it's two inches I measured it with my dick >:


Fathom Zero Apr 18th, 2011 09:38 AM

I kinda don't wanna do anything anymore. I hope I rebound soon.

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 12:34 PM

One thing I don't miss about being editor at a college newspaper was dealing with the op/ed/color writers

Word count equals block size. Editors lay out the page according to it. He needs 300 words to fill one specific (and apparently) tiny ass space on the page, and he told you to do it.

Editors have the one job of putting the whole damn thing together, as well as editing the works of "writers" who (in a school scenario) don't LIKE being edited, or told what to do. Who usually have to be aggressively prodded into making the deadline. Who take things personally. And have bizarrely inflated egos.

Guitar Woman Apr 18th, 2011 12:37 PM

I was under the impression that I was writing for a website, but surprise surprise, it's a proper wordy print magazine. I just wish he'd told me before he hired me.

Also I know what editors do and how print media works, dickshit, I go to college for this.

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 12:42 PM

My favorite guy was the great big fat dude who never showed up to the actual journalism class (therefore not knowing AP Style, and making our fucking jobs more difficult, in addition to the fundamental problems his writing had). He would write two or three editorials EVERY TIME; These I would give to the assistant editors, who then would proceed to literally play rock paper scissors over who would be forced to read them. They would be far too worthless to even edit, and far too long to even put in the paper even if they weren't fucktarded crazytown "political commentary". Then he would show up on the one worknight we'd send in for food, and then leave after he ate.

One of his "editorials" was so bad that we actually nailed it to the wall as example, testament, and warning. It was an entire Robert Kennedy speech, copied and pasted for four pages, preceded by a single paragraph that had jack shit nothing to do with anything. Which doubled as being insane and nonsensical in it's own context. The title, of course, was "POWER".

Every once in a while, when nothing would be going on, we'd just stare at it.

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 12:43 PM

Awwww, you DO? I was under the impression you were bitching about a word count

Esuohlim Apr 18th, 2011 12:47 PM




Guitar Woman Apr 18th, 2011 12:47 PM

I'd have to be pretty conceited to run around calling myself a writer and gushing about the work if I didn't have any sort of formal training and education to back my ass up. I'm not that much of a shithead.

Although to be fair I'm probably a lucky little bastard for literally accidentally landing a paid print gig, even if it's frustratingly restrictive. I'd really kill for an actual job as a reporter, instead of slumming it as a fucking worthless piece of shit entertainment critic, but it's a start, I guess.

Guitar Woman Apr 18th, 2011 12:50 PM


Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 717987)
One of his "editorials" was so bad that we actually nailed it to the wall as example, testament, and warning. It was an entire Robert Kennedy speech, copied and pasted for four pages, preceded by a single paragraph that had jack shit nothing to do with anything. Which doubled as being insane and nonsensical in it's own context. The title, of course, was "POWER".


Was he, like, mentally disabled? Was he even registered as a student, or was he just some crazy homeless guy who showed up one day?

King Hadas Apr 18th, 2011 01:38 PM

I would like to hear more editorial stories from Grislygus.

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 01:40 PM

If he WAS, then he wouldn't be as memorable. He was just this gigantic fuckwad, armed with the inability to write and an ego the size of a small planet.

He loved to barge into the publishing lab outside of school hours and complain bitterly about how his perceived "rival" got a regular column while none of his editorials ever got printed. The first four or five times, I dodged the subject and inferred that the column was established in the paper and people looked forward to seeing it (lie); further, we didn't have the god damn room for multiple page, single spaced editorials. Eventually I began politely telling him that he was terrible.

None of my comments ever really had any effect, since he had an almost mystical ability to go through every conversation he engaged in without hearing ANYTHING that anyone else said. That sounds like an exaggeration, but talking to him was literally like listening to someone else's internal monologue. It was actually really fucking bizarre.

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 01:42 PM

More stories. Well, there were the two eighteen year old girls forced onto us because they were photography majors. The only good pictures they ever took were at a concert. Later, we found out that they had actually given the several thousand dollars journalism camera to random people in the crowd while they were partying. Who, it needs to be repeated, took WAY better pictures than they ever did. Of course, they were never capable of making a deadline and we cut them out completely after three issues and pissed off the school.

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 01:44 PM

Then there was the insistent man who demanded to see me after my redneck-trailer-park-version-of-The-Raven had been going for a while. He excitedly explained that the poem meant A LOT to him, that I didn't GET IT, and that I needed to understand that Edgar Allen Poe was murdered by the "oligarchy" that secretly controls the world

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 01:45 PM

There were three separate instances when I had to fucking intervene in domestic violence situations while working on the paper.

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 01:47 PM

And I also had to deal with my assistant editor passing out during a deadline, coming to two minutes later. An hour later he revealed that he hadn't slept in three days, hadn't eaten or drank anything, and was being sexually harrassed at the local newspaper he was working on.

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 01:48 PM

The collective moral of these stories is to stay the fuck away from any part of Oregon that is not called Portland.

Fathom Zero Apr 18th, 2011 02:20 PM

photography classes

finish semester with four new lamps and silver poisoning

Guitar Woman Apr 18th, 2011 02:37 PM

How do you stumble into these amazing adventures?

And what school were you at?

Fathom Zero Apr 18th, 2011 02:45 PM

imma go listen to dopethrone and cut myself

Grislygus Apr 18th, 2011 02:54 PM

I was at the prestigious "Soufwestern Or'gon Community College"

Fathom Zero Apr 18th, 2011 03:00 PM

Southwestern Oregon Man, eh.

Shrubfest Apr 18th, 2011 04:49 PM

Just had 4 Hitchcocks appear whilst reading that. And I'd just got used to a single one.

elx Apr 18th, 2011 08:15 PM


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