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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Fathom Zero Nov 20th, 2009 01:29 PM

Hey, change of subject.

Let's talk about Sam's cock.

elx Nov 20th, 2009 01:31 PM

did you hear about his legs

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 01:34 PM

I'M CRIPPLED

I GOT WHAT FDR HAD AND MY LEGS LOOK LIKE CRAZY STRAWS

Kitsa Nov 20th, 2009 01:34 PM

that's true until they start taking it for granted that there'll be a girl around.

attention is overrated.

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 01:35 PM

THAT'S WHY I PLAY DRAGON AGE

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 659825)
Any guy more willing to play video games than hang out with a girl is either gay or has serious issues with priorities.

Or they dont want to hear some girl prattle on about some pointless BS. :rolleyes

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 01:47 PM

USUALLY IF YOU JUST IGNORE A GIRL AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES IT DRIVES THEM MAD WITH SEXUAL DESIRE AND THEY BUST OUT AND PERFORM FELLATIO ON YOU.

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 659839)
USUALLY IF YOU JUST IGNORE A GIRL AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES IT DRIVES THEM MAD WITH SEXUAL DESIRE AND THEY BUST OUT AND PERFORM FELLATIO ON YOU.

This is how I ended up with a wife. True story.

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 01:50 PM

SHE SOUNDS LIKE A KEEPER

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 01:52 PM

Oh she is great. I wouldnt trade her for a million bucks. Totally not like George's woman.







No offense George. :\

elx Nov 20th, 2009 01:55 PM

i don't mind video games as long as i get to play too :(

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 01:55 PM

THE REAL TEST IS WHEN SHE IS ORALLY STIMULATING YOU AND YOU "ACCIDENTALLY" RELEASE A FART. IF SHE DOESN'T SKIP A BEAT THEN HOLD ON TO HER, BUT IF SHE GAGS AND COMPLAINS THROW HER ASS TO THE CURB.

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 01:56 PM

What if she pauses for a moment to giggle then jumps back on it?

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 01:58 PM

You have to decode if it's a giggle of amusement or a nervous giggle and she assumes you are going to crap on her somehow. :\

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 02:00 PM

Oh it definitely amusement with a smile.

I wanted to shoot her in the chin or something at the time but couldnt squeeze one out fast enough. :\

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 02:07 PM

Shoot her with a fart?

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 02:10 PM

No a load. After she came up to giggle about the fart.

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 02:19 PM

OH. CHOKE HER OUT WITH THE "PUERTO RICAN FOGBANK"

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 02:22 PM

Something like that. But I wasnt quick enough. :lol

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 02:23 PM

If I was a pro-wrestler, I'd gimmick as a masked Puerto Rican wrestler and the name of my submission hold would be "The Puerto Rican Fogbank" :(

Tadao Nov 20th, 2009 02:24 PM

:rolleyes
ELX learn to play something other than Barbie Make Me Pretty Photoshop

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 02:24 PM

YEAH ELX LEARN TO PLAY LEFT 4 DEAD 2 WITH THE GROWN-UPS

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 02:29 PM

Or ask them to watch porn with you.

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 02:33 PM

OR SMOKE POT OUT OF YOUR AMAZING APPLE POT SMOKING DEVICE YOU DESIGNED

Dimnos Nov 20th, 2009 02:35 PM

Skinny blond girl with pot and an apple bong never got turned down.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 20th, 2009 02:50 PM

:pagebrak

I'm gonna rent L4D2 tonight to play because I need some time away from my girlfriend.

I can't even play STAR OCEAN because gf gets annoyed.

She's all like "Hey, what're ya doing? Wanna snuggle?"

and I'm all like "Can't, doing MAN STUFF."

"Oh, are you still playing that game? You've been playing for like 2 hours now."

so I say "WTF, I only killed 20 Psynards and haven't even fought the boss yet!"

Tadao Nov 20th, 2009 03:03 PM

They need to make a controller that allows you to snuggle and play games at the same time. Like the Tim and Eric concert girlfriend holder thing.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 20th, 2009 03:08 PM

My friend used to have the RPG controller for PS1 where all the buttons were condensed to use one hand.

Tadao Nov 20th, 2009 03:30 PM

I had that, wouldn't work for L4D2 or MW2 though.

Sam Nov 20th, 2009 05:30 PM

IT WORKS WONDERS FOR PLAYING PARASITE EVE AND JERKING OFF

captain516 Nov 20th, 2009 08:08 PM

It's situations like these that make me wish I had a Nintendo Power Glove

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 20th, 2009 08:16 PM

DOA IS GREAT WITH THAT CONTROLLER.

Fathom Zero Nov 20th, 2009 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 659837)
Or they dont want to hear some girl prattle on about some pointless BS. :rolleyes

You've just gotta find the right girl that doesn't do that. Or be immune to inane bullshit.

Preferably the former. I found a girl like that, and now I'm chasing after her like a panther to a unicorn.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 659844)
Oh she is great. I wouldnt trade her for a million bucks. Totally not like George's woman.

No offense George. :\

I'm pretty sure george would've rather had your wife, too.

stevetothepast Nov 21st, 2009 01:33 PM

these last few pages have been very amusing.

except for everything F-zero says.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 21st, 2009 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 659935)
You've just gotta find the right girl that doesn't do that. Or be immune to inane bullshit.

You'd have to be in a GRAVE SITUATION to be immune.

Fathom Zero Nov 21st, 2009 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetothepast (Post 660007)
these last few pages have been very amusing.

except for everything F-zero says.

Hey, I couldn't pick you out of an internet line-up, buddy.

Fathom Zero Nov 21st, 2009 08:14 PM


stevetothepast Nov 21st, 2009 08:43 PM

I can't see that video where I am but I can only imagine it's HILARIOUS.

Fathom Zero Nov 21st, 2009 08:46 PM

Well, you'd be wrong. How does it feel to be wrong?

stevetothepast Nov 21st, 2009 08:47 PM

It's not a good feeling. Kind of like sand in your ear.

Fathom Zero Nov 21st, 2009 08:52 PM

FEELS LIKE I DID IT BEFORE
FEELS LIKE I DID IT BEFORE
FEELS LIKE I DID IT BEFORE
FEELS LIKE I DID IT... BEFORE!

Kitsa Nov 21st, 2009 10:03 PM

saw a little old lady in an AC/DC hoodie today. That was kind of weird-looking.

kahljorn Nov 21st, 2009 10:20 PM

one time when i drove through pamona or some retarded city in LA we drove into a chilli's or cocos or some shit restaurant parking lot to get some food and this old lady totally accosted us for money so she could buy a "new sweater" and the weird thing was that the sweater she was already wearing was pretty nice and looked pretty trendy. I can only imagine that she wanted to trade it in for a knitted wool sweater from the goodwill that had a giant picture of Santa claus on it or some ugly pattern.

either that or buy crack from the crazy crackhead sitting in the parking lot watching her :(

kahljorn Nov 21st, 2009 11:09 PM

ALSO IF YOU GET LEFT 4 DEAD 2 DUDE LET US KNOW :O MY XBL NAME IS SEPHONE

Sam Nov 22nd, 2009 12:13 AM

CHEATING WHORE

kahljorn Nov 22nd, 2009 12:52 AM

SHALL I SEARCH THROUGH THE "WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING NOW" THREAD FOR ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO YOU"VE WRONGED ME WITH?

Sam Nov 22nd, 2009 12:55 AM

CAN'T YOU LEAVE ALL OF THAT IN THE PAST YOU ARE ALWAYS BRINGING UP OLD SHIT

kahljorn Nov 22nd, 2009 12:56 AM

JUST LIKE A WOMAN

Sam Nov 22nd, 2009 01:13 AM

JUST LIKE A FUCKING BROAD

Fathom Zero Nov 22nd, 2009 07:30 AM

This weekend sucks. This party sucked.

Life fucking sucks here. Jesus.

Zhukov Nov 22nd, 2009 12:19 PM

I worked all weekend, and spent all my after work time hanging out with an overbearing Canadian man who I bet thinks I consider him my best friend. My ex isn't talking to me at all after I suggested that we talk less in an effort to get her to talk to me. The girl I am interested in at work told me that her boyfriend is fantastic and definitely stronger than I am.

Zhukov Nov 22nd, 2009 12:20 PM

FUCK AND I CAN'T EDIT.

Fathom Zero Nov 22nd, 2009 12:21 PM

Doncha just hate it when you see someone you're interested in perfectly happy with someone else?

elx Nov 22nd, 2009 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 660170)
My ex isn't talking to me at all after I suggested that we talk less in an effort to get her to talk to me.

how does that work?

Zhukov Nov 22nd, 2009 12:33 PM

She lives in the UK. She got really mad at me for no good reason, which she did a lot, so I told her to calm down and don't take it out on me etc. She took that badly and stopped talking to me for a few days. I sent her an email saying that if we are just going to fight all the time maybe we shouldn't talk so much - I sort of expected her to realise that it was something serious that I wanted to talk about, rather than actualy stop talking... but she got even madder at me for suggesting such a horrible thing, and if that's what I want, then that's what I'll get, and she stopped answering calls, emails etc. My fault.

elx Nov 22nd, 2009 12:48 PM

how strange. the exact same thing happened to me, but i was on the girlfriend end of it.
i'm going to guess that she reacted the same way i did for the same reason. she's not trying to punish you, she just thinks you're less interested in her now. send her another email, let her know exactly why you did it and just make it clear that you very much still adore her and you don't want any less of her. at least, that'd work on me:(

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 22nd, 2009 01:39 PM

Going to a baby shower....do guys really go to these?

Sam Nov 22nd, 2009 02:02 PM

NO THEY ARE ONLY FOR BROADS

Fathom Zero Nov 22nd, 2009 02:03 PM

Guys, I feel good again about writing.

That, or I could be having a manic episode of creativity. I don't wanna get my hopes up.

Kitsa Nov 22nd, 2009 04:53 PM

I've heard of "coed" baby showers, but it seems like it would be uncomfortable and boring for guys especially.

Evil Robot Nov 22nd, 2009 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 660184)
Going to a baby shower....do guys really go to these?

IDIOT!!!! Don't put babies in the shower, instead use the sink or a plastic tub.

Tadao Nov 22nd, 2009 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 660184)
Going to a baby shower....do guys really go to these?

Only if you're married. You're not married, just a pussy.

Aaarg Nov 22nd, 2009 06:40 PM

man at babby shower seams silly,maybe its just my culturehowever!!

stevetothepast Nov 22nd, 2009 06:47 PM

aaarg is that a spambot quote?

Supafly345 Nov 22nd, 2009 07:09 PM

camacazio (2:47:20 PM): oh man i'm way unmotivated to do work today

YouWantToBeAdam (2:54:09 PM): maybe you are losing your lust for it

camacazio (2:54:48 PM): i think i worked myself too much during the last few months on that fpga, and now that i'm programming for two different final project assignments due roughly 2 week sform now, i'm burnt out

YouWantToBeAdam (2:56:07 PM):you have any heads around?

YouWantToBeAdam (2:56:43 PM):maybe you can get a hook up for some uppers, artificial motivation

camacazio (2:57:14 PM): taht sounds like recommending drugs to solve being lazy

YouWantToBeAdam (2:57:45 PM): your IM ears are working

Chojin Nov 22nd, 2009 07:18 PM

i went back on another diet stretch and it's absolutely murdered my motivation :<

yesterday I had to take a break from exercising too because my whole body ached, and i was just a piece of shit all day :< did absolutely nothing, not even play games

Guitar Woman Nov 22nd, 2009 07:20 PM

I hope you're enjoying your healthy new lifestyle!

Chojin Nov 22nd, 2009 07:26 PM

ty ty

i'm just paying for years of burgers and pizzas ;< I'm not dieting in a healthy way at all, just a very effective one. 800-1100 kcal a day of lean meats only starts to fuck with your head badly when your bodyfat is already within acceptable limits. I'm trying to cut down to athlete-class weight and start some wrestling/MMA training in the spring, so I gotta TRAIN FAST LIKE SPEED OF SOUND LIKE JOHN FREEMAN

Guitar Woman Nov 22nd, 2009 07:31 PM

I don't see why you need to diet for that, plenty of wrestlers are fat

Chojin Nov 22nd, 2009 07:34 PM

i am also a narcissist

Tadao Nov 22nd, 2009 07:40 PM

and you like to grapple with sweaty men

Guitar Woman Nov 22nd, 2009 07:44 PM


Chojin Nov 22nd, 2009 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 660223)
and you like to grapple with sweaty men

who are trying to kill you

Tadao Nov 22nd, 2009 08:59 PM

In MMA? I don't think so, that's a pussy fight.

Kitsa Nov 22nd, 2009 09:07 PM

If by any chance anyone is considering going to an outlet mall at this time of year...don't.

Aaarg Nov 22nd, 2009 09:20 PM

The "outlet mall" back home has been phasing out the "outlet" for years. It may no longer refer to itself as an outlet mall, especially since it was bought by a different company.


So I was at a store today with my roommate and I had a simple reminder of how easy it is to break the ice with strangers. My life since moving down here has gotten me so much more socially awkward than I have been in years.

Kitsa Nov 22nd, 2009 10:35 PM

"Outlet" is generally a complete misnomer, since it implies lower prices, and lower prices are seldom if ever found.

Didn't stop the place from being utterly packed wall-to-wall with morons, most pushing the gigantic "baby bulldozer" type strollers, many sick and coughing indiscriminately without covering their mouths.

I usually stay away from them and this was a good reminder as to why.

Evil Robot Nov 22nd, 2009 11:01 PM


OULET MALL WE SELL OULETS

Fathom Zero Nov 22nd, 2009 11:08 PM


stevetothepast Nov 22nd, 2009 11:20 PM

I want that fucking owl

Aaarg Nov 23rd, 2009 09:45 AM


Fathom Zero Nov 23rd, 2009 09:48 AM

Chili dogs were not even remotely a good idea for breakfast.

Why do I do this to myself?

Aaarg Nov 23rd, 2009 10:48 AM

I had a granola bar!

stevetothepast Nov 23rd, 2009 01:26 PM

The word "ninja" is blocked at my work.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 23rd, 2009 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetothepast (Post 660316)
The word "ninja" is blocked at my work.

While doing a search on the internet or verbally?

stevetothepast Nov 23rd, 2009 02:22 PM

while doing a search on the internet.

the guy sitting beside me was looking up ninja gaiden.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 23rd, 2009 02:45 PM

Maybe they blocked it because its game related. They block all game related content at mine too.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 23rd, 2009 02:59 PM

The baby shower wasn't that bad because it was in a VFW hall basement. So I ran the pool table(official sized too) and then we watched the Bills game.

Fathom Zero Nov 23rd, 2009 04:52 PM

High definition Blade Runner is literally the greatest thing ever.

EDIT: I SOUND LIKE GW

kahljorn Nov 23rd, 2009 05:02 PM

I fucking hate when people call me on the phone and they have to talk about everything they talk about at least twice and each thing takes like 30 seconds to say and they say it word for fucking word practically both times. JESUS.
SOMETIMES THEY REPEAT IT THREE TIMES.

Chojin Nov 23rd, 2009 05:56 PM

working at mcdonalds is rough, bro

Babs Nov 23rd, 2009 09:45 PM

ya dawg likez i got uh a blunt boutz 2 blaze dat $hit like DMX

Sam Nov 23rd, 2009 10:47 PM

BLAIZEITUPPP

kahljorn Nov 23rd, 2009 10:49 PM

HEY

Supafly345 Nov 24th, 2009 12:55 AM

http://www.hulu.com/watch/106042/the...d-and-the-ugly
HEY GAYS CHECK OUT THIS

Fathom Zero Nov 24th, 2009 01:02 AM

The movie Pistol Opera is also on Hulu, I just found out last night. It's a very good Jap-style movie.

Tadao Nov 24th, 2009 01:09 AM

Hahaha they have The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant

Aaarg Nov 24th, 2009 08:52 AM

GBU in its entirety is also on Youtube. Good stuff.

Aaarg Nov 24th, 2009 09:27 AM

I distinctly remember being nine or ten (and Sagat's "Funk Dat" being mildly popular), going into the kitchen and opening the fridge, saying "Question! Why is it that every time I want to eat some string cheese, I open the refrigerator and there ain't no string cheese to be found? Maaaaan, FUNK DAT!"

My mom got mad because she thought I was cursing at her.


Kitsa Nov 24th, 2009 11:40 AM

I noticed this as I was wrapping some stocking-stuffer candy for someone.



Should we assume it's not made responsibly unless they specifically say so?


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