I-Mockery Forum

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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

LordSappington May 18th, 2011 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 721693)
Fuck you Sappington go to Applebee's instead

I'm convinced that Taco Bell puts some sort of addictive additive in their food, because I think I'm addicted to their chicken burritos and said baja blast. Also, if I get the $2 meal deal, a $1 burrito, and some cinnamon curls, it comes out to $4.20 every time :hypno

Also, food poisoning is the butts. I got food poisoning from an Asian restaurant a few months ago. Nothing worse than taking a walk, then suddenly realizing your intestines are intent on emptying themselves right now. Luckily, I didn't have to crap in someone's bushes. :rock

Kitsa May 18th, 2011 11:30 AM

I think that the worst one for me was the E coli, because of the mental image of a green pepper caked with liquid cow-shit or some other type of shit-based fertilizer, unwashed and then cut into pieces by some idiot pizza shop employee and served up to me on a pizza :(

That one was one of those where you just have to sit on the toilet holding a trashcan because there's no way you can control both ends at once.

Dimnos May 18th, 2011 07:08 PM

I thought I had food poisoning once; I was in the bathroom forever. Then I remembered I had Bell that day for lunch and I maned up.

Kitsa May 18th, 2011 08:07 PM

If that wasn't enough, my back went out. I had to take a muscle relaxer. Happy la-la land, here I come.

Kitsa May 18th, 2011 08:24 PM

Also, if Hickman wanted out of Bagram so bad, he should have let me know. I have a contact. :eek

executioneer May 18th, 2011 08:32 PM

is it that little girl from the picture

Tadao May 18th, 2011 09:11 PM

No, she's commander of the S.S. Kitsa Ginger Brigade.

Zhukov May 18th, 2011 10:34 PM

Tadao, at least Chojin makes abusing mod powers funny. Making me call myself a fag, again, is (whilst I recognise the COMEDY GOLD and the originality of the concept) slightly tedious now. Getting a rise out of me by editing posts is actually quite easy, but I think it takes a grasp of wit and humour to make it funny. Seriously, leave it to Chojin.

Once again, if you don't want to have anything to do with me, or get into arguments with me, and don't care about me, like you have stated, why do you attempt to be funny and edit my posts?

Tadao May 18th, 2011 10:56 PM

Yeah, I'll get right to doing what you want :rolleyes

Zhukov May 18th, 2011 11:51 PM

I don't think you are withholding intelligence and humour just on my behalf.

Zhukov wants me to at least be funny when I copy Chojin's methods, I guess I'll annoy him by being tedious and unimaginative!


I know this is all stemming from when I called you unfunny a while ago, so I'm sorry. I don't take it back, and it still is accurate, but I am sorry it upset you.

Tadao May 19th, 2011 12:43 AM

I TOLD YOU THAT I WILL GET RIGHT ON IT

geez

LordSappington May 19th, 2011 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 721746)
I think that the worst one for me was the E coli, because of the mental image of a green pepper caked with liquid cow-shit or some other type of shit-based fertilizer, unwashed and then cut into pieces by some idiot pizza shop employee and served up to me on a pizza :(

That one was one of those where you just have to sit on the toilet holding a trashcan because there's no way you can control both ends at once.

The very worst for me was when I ate way too much dried tropical fruit, got food poisoning, and THEN got some sort of flu. It was like acid all inside my guts, and I was terrified that it would shoot out every time I sneezed. :goth

Fathom Zero May 19th, 2011 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 670619)
fathom zero has the worst taste in women/boys whatever those things were

:lol The Pretty/Handsome people thread is prolly my favourite in this place.

Esuohlim May 19th, 2011 04:17 AM

I just read through that thread again too. My favorite is the TERRA'S PUSSY sequence of posts

Fathom Zero May 19th, 2011 04:21 AM

I just reread that part and rolled again. :D That and I ran a batch to about fifteen or so pictures people posted.

Pub Lover May 19th, 2011 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 721926)

You look like the kind of girl I would ask out. :(

Colonel Flagg May 19th, 2011 11:02 AM



Does everyone have their outfit picked out for the festivities this Saturday?

Zhukov May 19th, 2011 11:45 AM

I love the gold guarantee stamp they used to make it official. Just like the Nintendo seal of approval, and uh, pretty much everyone the world over now that I google it.

LordSappington May 19th, 2011 01:08 PM

I just really hope we don't have any nutcases marching around my neighborhood. Or at work.
And my girlfriend will be in Dallas, so I'll face Rapture alone. :(
Oh who am I kidding; I'd be left here to burn. :lol

Colonel Flagg May 19th, 2011 01:09 PM

What I like is the guy in the lower right corner taking a dump. :lol

Pub Lover May 19th, 2011 01:22 PM

This is just American Rapture. The UK had ours already. Raptures are pretty passé now. I liked them back before they were cool. #rapturehipster

Pub Lover May 19th, 2011 01:37 PM


Guitar Woman May 19th, 2011 02:18 PM

George Takei has the best voice ever. He's also cool as hell, I hope them homosexual types are proud of his representation.

Kitsa May 19th, 2011 05:19 PM

I'm pretty sure that if I didn't meat a serial killer today (hopefully not mine), I at least met a verifiably creepy-assed insane person. If I turn up dead, you heard it here first.

Pentegarn May 19th, 2011 06:47 PM

:pagebrak

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 721970)
This is just American Rapture. The UK had ours already. Raptures are pretty passé now. I liked them back before they were cool. #rapturehipster

That's a good point. Does the rapture respect the international date line? Will people go missing at 12 AM in their time? Or is it all set to GMT?

Guitar Woman May 19th, 2011 07:21 PM

Quote:

My friend Chelsie is seeking a new friend! She’s a very good 28 year old woman who made an error in judgment when she was younger. Now she resides in Coffee Creek Correctional Facility where she will remain for just 13 more months.

Currently Chelsie is enrolled in business classes and an optical program. She is very bright and committed to putting her criminality behind her. In her pursuit of a more quality life she is requesting letters from a caring and non-judgmental person who may also be seeking a friend. Once you get to know her you’ll be inspired by her ambition.

Please e-mail me for information on how to begin corresponding with Chelsie.
lol :(

Guitar Woman May 19th, 2011 07:26 PM

I better get blaspheming. The weather's too nice to leave for some shitty stupid boring fucking cloud palace.

Esuohlim May 19th, 2011 08:25 PM

IN HEAVEN THE WEATHER IS ALWAYS NICE

ALSO WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN YOU IMMEDIATELY KNOW ALL LANGUAGES

10,000 Volt Ghost May 19th, 2011 09:18 PM

Also deltron 3030 plays all the time. Just like this page should be.

Fathom Zero May 19th, 2011 09:59 PM

where doing it man

where MAKING THIS HAPEN

MLE May 19th, 2011 11:57 PM


WhiteRat May 20th, 2011 12:49 PM

Heaven just got a little more macho....

http://www.tmz.com/2011/05/20/randy-...stler-florida/

10,000 Volt Ghost May 20th, 2011 01:25 PM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Colonel Flagg May 20th, 2011 01:49 PM

:tear

executioneer May 20th, 2011 02:17 PM

grandpa's with the big saucercrab in the sky now taddykins :(

kahljorn May 20th, 2011 02:55 PM

THATS WHAT YOU GUYS GET FOR MAKING FUN OF THE RAPTURE

GOD WAS LIKE, "ALRIGHT FINE, IM TAKING SOME OF THE BEST FROM AMONG YOU" AND HE TOOK MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE AND A THOUSAND BABIES AND ORPHANS

Pram Maven May 20th, 2011 11:07 PM

I-mockery killed Randy Savage with its carbon emissions. Jerks! You ruined him a perfectly good...whatever.
He had a future... A future of pounding his chest and roaring one-liners at sticks of jerky. Now he will never one-line again. Instead, he is side-lined and silenced forever. :(

Shyandquietguy May 20th, 2011 11:51 PM

Do you even understand basic social concepts?

10,000 Volt Ghost May 21st, 2011 12:41 AM


LordSappington May 21st, 2011 03:17 AM

I walked into Gamestop, and realized: If Rapture is tomorrow, Duke Nukem will have never been released.

WhiteRat May 21st, 2011 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 722334)

He's got a new 3030 album coming out soon.

My feet hurt and my back is fucking killing me but nothing beats bartending a wedding for 9 hours and walking out with 320 smackers ca$h money. THEY CALL ME BIG STACKSSS

Esuohlim May 21st, 2011 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 721948)
You look like the kind of girl I would ask out. :(

;) ;)

Esuohlim May 21st, 2011 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 451790)

..

Pentegarn May 21st, 2011 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 722321)
I-mockery killed Randy Savage with its carbon emissions. Jerks! You ruined him a perfectly good...whatever.
He had a future... A future of pounding his chest and roaring one-liners at sticks of jerky. Now he will never one-line again. Instead, he is side-lined and silenced forever. :(

Wow Pram, even for you that is a new level of suck. Way to keep raising (lowering) the bar buddy

Pram Maven May 21st, 2011 10:23 AM

I'm in the process of being deprogrammed. Give me a few, I'll think of something funny that passes i-mockery's muster committee. Have you ever worked at night? Try doing it for nine years. It fucks you up. I used to be quick-witted and could make anyone laugh without any effort. I'M sad to look at the sack of unfunny shit I've settled into. It's embarrassing to have literally no good material. Maybe I'll just lurk for awhile. And be saaaaaad.

Pub Lover May 21st, 2011 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 722385)
..

The post you're quoting is from 2006. A few pages of me arguing with Lenor later & I'm describing a grotesque sex scene involving me, Rongi, Fartin and Guitar Woman raping some poor kid that foolishly posted in this thread. GW seemed way too into it. :x

Grislygus May 21st, 2011 01:33 PM

OH NO, I PULL A NIGHT SHIFT AND IT SCREWS ME UP, DESPITE THE FACT THAT OTHER PEOPLE ALSO PULL NIGHT SHIFTS AND HAVE NO PROBLEMS

Pub Lover May 21st, 2011 01:59 PM

Plenty of the people I know that work night shifts talk about becoming walking zombies after a while. :\
Quote:

Originally Posted by AChimp (Post 722433)
I took a read through a bunch of this. Pram Maven doesn't seem nearly as entertaining as thekapn or OAO or Vince was. :(

Nostalgia. >:

Shyandquietguy May 21st, 2011 02:00 PM

Swing shift is worse! You get the feeling that you're supposed to go to bed but you're not tired! AND THAT'S ONLY DURING SUMMER!!

Pub Lover May 21st, 2011 02:01 PM

:pagebrak

HickMan May 21st, 2011 02:53 PM

Hey guys what's up

MLE May 21st, 2011 03:08 PM

not much

Pub Lover May 21st, 2011 03:08 PM

It is good to see you still living it up with the rest of us, Clay. :) No rapture for you either, eh? :eek

HickMan May 21st, 2011 03:15 PM

No not much...I just got back from a quaint little place here in beautiful Afghanistan. I got to meet some of the locals, enjoy some of their food, drink chai tea, and shit in a hole for a couple days. Good times.

Shyandquietguy May 21st, 2011 03:15 PM

The rapture hasn't started yet. It's only noon here. >:(

Tadao May 21st, 2011 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 722475)
Not in Art Shit. Take it to GB.

Ok, sorry. I wouldn't be bent if you deleted it. I can repost it in his GB thread. You could also just leave it there as an example of what you don't want done. ;)

Wow! It's pretty easy to just accept the ruling of a mod and not whine and complain about it. I don't understand why some people are so faggy.

Pub Lover May 21st, 2011 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 722482)
The rapture hasn't started yet. It's only noon here. >:(

Shut up.

Pub Lover May 21st, 2011 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 722488)
Wow! It's pretty easy to just accept the ruling of a mod and not whine and complain about it. I don't understand why some people are so faggy.

Some people get off on being butthurt. :eek

Colonel Flagg May 21st, 2011 07:50 PM

Good to see you're still with us, Pub.

Has Zhukov ascended to the heavens then? :holierthanme

In other news, this Rapture sucks ass. >:

HickMan May 22nd, 2011 03:36 AM

Total disappointment

Zhukov May 22nd, 2011 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 722488)
Wow! It's pretty easy to just accept the ruling of a mod and not whine and complain about it. I don't understand why some people are so faggy.

You had your mod powers taken off of you because you sucked so much :lol

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 01:07 PM

Yeah. Again you have all your information correct. :lol

Grislygus May 22nd, 2011 01:15 PM

Okay, at first I didn't give a shit, but now I'm cuious. what exactly spawned this tadao-vs-zhukov thing

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 01:15 PM

I'm sorry MLE, I did it all wrong. I guess I'm supposed to complain about my internet rights and about how you only abuse me because you are sad that no one laughs at your jokes.

I hope that clears things up.

Grislygus May 22nd, 2011 01:19 PM

Once I know what internet rights you needed to complain about, I guess

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 722604)
Okay, at first I didn't give a shit, but now I'm cuious. what exactly spawned this tadao-vs-zhukov thing

I got tired of his point by point arguments that never go anywhere. Pretty soon threads turned into the Zhukov vs Everyone and I started locking threads so that people can move on, just like Coolinator. The similarities are amazing. He didn't like those being locked either. Who knows, maybe he is Coolie. Then I started editing the parts were he complains about me to lure me into an argument leaving his political views in tact and he complains some more trying to get me to argue with him, which is stupid because his point by point arguing is the gayest thing ever. So I turned myself into Chojin and he ended it.

Nut in his mind he thinks I'm upset at him because he said I was unfunny or something like that. And that is so true because that is my one weakness.

kahljorn May 22nd, 2011 01:26 PM

Quote:

Nut in his mind
.
Quote:

Nut in his mind
.
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Nut in his mind
.
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Nut in his mind
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Nut in his mind
Quote:

Nut in his mind
Quote:

Nut in his mind
Quote:

Nut in his mind
Quote:

Nut in his mind
Quote:

Nut in his mind
Quote:

Nut in his mind
Quote:

Nut in his mind
Quote:

Nut in his mind

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 01:31 PM

I'm sorry Zhukov, I need you to like me. Please take this mark of unfunnyness from me. I can't go on posting here until you do. :(

MLE May 22nd, 2011 01:44 PM

YOU CAN'T TRY TO BE FUNNY YOU JUST ARE OR YOU AREN'T JEEZ HOW MANY TIMES DOES IT HAVE TO BE EXPLAINED

Zhukov May 22nd, 2011 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 722604)
Okay, at first I didn't give a shit, but now I'm cuious. what exactly spawned this tadao-vs-zhukov thing

I can take being the butt of a joke, I can take being given an infraction for using the metric system, but it's not really that amazing to lock threads just in spite of me and start new ones with the sole aim of calling me a fag and editing my posts. That's really 'moving on'.

Nice try at imitating Chojin. It looks like you don't have mod powers there anymore, so I guess I can ignore you easier.

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 01:52 PM

PLEASE LOVE ME, I CAN'T GO ON WITHOUT YOUR ACCEPTANCE!

Zhukov May 22nd, 2011 01:57 PM

I actually knew you were going to say that as I clicked this thread. :lol

I don't like you and your mod powers are gone, so yay me.


Time to move on I think Tadao. This endless crap is getting tedious, right?

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 02:01 PM

NO! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THIS IS MY WORLD! YOU CAN'T JUST DEEM ME TO BE UNFUNNY AND LEAVE ME TO DIE OUT HERE! I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL TODAY THAT YOUR WORD GUIDES THE INTERNET AND THEREFORE CONTROLS MY DESTINY! PLEASE, I WILL DO ANYTHING!

MLE May 22nd, 2011 02:05 PM

Zuk, maybe you should ask him to publicly apologize on youtube

Zhukov May 22nd, 2011 02:07 PM

Like I said, tedious.

Grislygus May 22nd, 2011 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 722612)
I can take being given an infraction for using the metric system


Oh man that seriously made me :lol

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 02:38 PM

OH I GET IT NOW! HE IS TRAINING ME TO ARGUE PROPERLY! LET ME GIVE IT A TRY!

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 722617)
Like I said, tedious.

I find it amusing that you have run out of steam. Maybe try shutting the fuck up and staying out of the General Blabber forum. You are tedious but maybe I will make a point by point case and ignore every fact that you brought to the table. My imaginary utopia that I created while not talking to girls on the bus is superior to reality.

Zhukov May 22nd, 2011 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 722622)
Oh man that seriously made me :lol

I pissed myself laughing when I got it, too :lol

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 03:23 PM

Hahahaha I bet Australian women love you. You should maybe try Sweden.

Colonel Flagg May 22nd, 2011 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 722616)
Zuk, maybe you should ask him to publicly apologize on youtube

:lol

Pentegarn May 22nd, 2011 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 722627)
Hahahaha I bet Australian women love you. You should maybe try Sweden.

The ones on busses anyway :lol

Tadao May 22nd, 2011 05:00 PM

Nah, Australia is very manly. Even if he hit on the freak again, she'd probably turn him down because it would take him 5 dates before he thought about putting his dick in her.

Pub Lover May 23rd, 2011 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 722694)
I'd say it's a decent deterrent.

I rarely consider the consequences when committing crimes & I never think I'll be caught. :eek

Pub Lover May 23rd, 2011 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zerothree (Post 722583)
When it comes to hard alcohol, I loves me some Crown Royal Black. That with some cherry Coke Zero is my go-to drink.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 722716)
Don't mix crown royal except with ice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 722733)
SACRILEGE! >:

Respect the whisky!

I'm glad I'm not the only one that baulked at 03's comment. :eek


Quote:

Originally Posted by Zuggernaut (Post 722744)
also you guys are disgusting. who wants to see a grown man in a dress, you must be some kind of homosexuals. over on zug we ask people to put on dresses as a JOKE but you guys are clearly pumping your cocks in anticipation

I know I am. :eek

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 722722)
I'm a fan of androgyny anyway. At least you man up and say you're attracted to both, since they look the same anyway.

Robyn is hot. I did not realize he supposedly looked like a lass though. :eek
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 722719)
Last year someone handed me something that looked like a folded hundred-dollar bill, saying "I hope you make some BIG MONEY today". Then after you unfold the fake bill, there's a tract inside that says YOU ARE A FORNICATOR. I don't know how they pegged me as a fornicator...

...he walked up to my brother's girlfriend with a pair of fishnet hose and asked her how she thought he'd look in them.

Were you wearing the fishnets when handed the fake bill? Any pics of you in them? :eek

Fathom Zero May 23rd, 2011 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 722748)
Robyn is hot.

:highfive

My roommate went to see her in Dallas. I was turribly jealous.

Kitsa May 23rd, 2011 04:32 PM

No. I haven't worn fishnets since I was skinny enough to get away with them, and that's been quite some time ago. Anymore it would look like someone had hung some particularly fatty hams up to cure.

In other news, I think I might have found the most useless blog on the internet.

Colonel Flagg May 23rd, 2011 10:00 PM

I dunno - it could be used to show people how not to blog.

Sal needs to first pass the TOEFL before being allowed to post on the internet.

Kitsa May 23rd, 2011 10:19 PM

I completely do not understand the repeat Ramones-Jonas Brothers parallells he was making.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 23rd, 2011 10:26 PM

Quote:

Johnny Cash

February 2, 2010 by salsmusicreview dear all Johnny Cash fans
Johnny Cash did a song for Tony Hawk underground 2 called Ring of Fire.
I saw Johnny Cash’s wax figure at Madame Tussaud’s wax muesum in Little Rock , New York
Johnny Cash had a good life.

:lol I'm so angry now

Kitsa May 23rd, 2011 10:37 PM

It reads like a series of school reports given by an eight year old, but the posts seem to span several years.

Zhukov May 24th, 2011 12:56 AM

:lol that blog is hilarious.


WHOSE READY TO BLOG!!!!! THE RAMONES ROCK!!!! THEY

...


LIVE ON AND ON AND ON AND ON!!!! TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THE RAMONES

Colonel Flagg May 24th, 2011 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 722854)
It reads like a series of school reports given by an eight year old, but the posts seem to span several years.

My daughter is 8 and she would be embarrassed to turn something like that in for an assignment.

Kitsa May 24th, 2011 07:44 AM

JONAS GABBA GABBA HEY

" i even dressed up as joey ramone for hallowen and i like long ripped pants down to the knees like the Ramones.the ramones havetons of albums including road to ruin featuring rock&roll high school . ihave the movie with ramones. and have you every seen the movie the wizwith michael jackson. ramones rule and till then jonas gabba gabba hey."

10,000 Volt Ghost May 24th, 2011 09:30 AM

Its got to be a study or something about how to irritate the majority of people with the least amount of words.

Zhukov May 24th, 2011 12:30 PM

:lol

Pub Lover May 24th, 2011 12:41 PM


Zhukov May 24th, 2011 01:30 PM

That's another example, but a picture is worth a thousand words, so probably not the best.

Kitsa May 24th, 2011 03:59 PM

(year passes)

WAITWAITWAIT I HAVE ANOTHER GEM I NEED TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD

long run on sentence incorporating ramones and the jonas brothers in a variety of fonts and also some non sequitur about a wax museum in new york

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 04:25 PM

So do you guys think i sh ould take my ex to small claims court?

She has mty heater (a 200 dollar one i just got for christmas) and my bbq and my dishes and pots and pans and pretty much all my furniture ;/
actually everything in the house is pretty much mine except one couch, one bed and this cabinet thing ;/

they aren't letting me get it ;/ kind of pisses me off


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