I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Blabber (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Kitsa Oct 30th, 2009 04:28 PM

:pagebrak


I saw a woman today who had on brown corduroy pants and a green turtleneck with construction-paper apples stapled all over it. I think she was an apple tree.

Babs Oct 30th, 2009 04:38 PM

I saw this today in real life.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Kitsa Oct 30th, 2009 04:43 PM

which one?

Babs Oct 30th, 2009 04:53 PM

oh I'm just talking in general I saw those type of people.

I'll take some pictures today for everyone. You will not believe the people in Ohio and their "Wal-mart" apparel.

edit: I have seen this woman before though

Kitsa Oct 30th, 2009 05:48 PM

I, for one, totally believe the Ohio-Walmart thing.

Edit: also, is this who she's being?


elx Oct 30th, 2009 06:34 PM

what is it that she's returning? a hair brush?

Kitsa Oct 30th, 2009 08:49 PM

I'm still pissed off about "Paranormal Activity" being a total fucking waste of my time (see "last movie you saw" thread)

Babs Oct 30th, 2009 09:24 PM

paranormal activity was a piece of shit. I can't begin to describe how disappointing it was.

On a different note, I just did my make up for this halloween party and I'm going as Monkey from The Adicts.

Zhukov Oct 30th, 2009 09:24 PM

It looks like her hair is made of paper mache.

PS: I had to guess type the last half of that sentence because it is covered by one of the new ads that seem to appear right where I am trying to look, rather than the top of the page. YOU HAVE (1) FREE RINGTONE! CLICK HERE.

elx Oct 31st, 2009 12:20 AM


LordSappington Oct 31st, 2009 12:32 AM

I made a last-minute costume for school today by putting some welding goggles on, putting my hood up, and holding a pair of bolt cutters. Then I'd sneak up on people, and just stand behind them, brandishing the cutters. Got me a few good scares.
Later, I put the cutters in my hammer strap, started carrying a wrench, and made a fair Wastelander.

Chojin Oct 31st, 2009 12:38 AM

i don't know what happened to me, but my main interests these days are: reclining in comfy chairs, eating expensive cheese, listening to easy music like Zero 7 or Leonard Cohen, smoking, and drinking wine.

I think it happened around the same time that I realized that I used to play games to unwind, but playing games isn't relaxing at all to me.

Chojin Oct 31st, 2009 12:39 AM

i hope to use this as a gateway into reading books and smoking from a pipe, wish me luck

Sam Oct 31st, 2009 12:45 AM

you are turning into Seththomas :eek

Fathom Zero Oct 31st, 2009 12:55 AM

God, now I can't like Leonard Cohen anymore.

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 31st, 2009 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BABALITY PANCAKES (Post 656075)
On a different note, I just did my make up for this halloween party and I'm going as Monkey from The Adicts.

:)

Guitar Woman Oct 31st, 2009 06:56 PM

Get a churchwarden!

Also, it's because games haven't been good since 2006. It hurt me too, bro.

Chojin Oct 31st, 2009 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 656188)
Get a churchwarden!

is that like a chadwarden?

Colonel Flagg Oct 31st, 2009 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 656107)
you are turning into Seththomas :eek

You will let us know if you start wearing bow ties, won't you Eric?

Chojin Oct 31st, 2009 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 656208)
You will let us know if you start wearing bow ties, won't you Eric?

I think seth was going off in a 1920's fetish creepshow direction, while I'm just becoming a modern gentleman.

I've considered joining a gym even though I have everything I need here, just so I can sit in the steam room and loudly talk about the wall street journal with my peers. :posh

I'm also kinda into BMWs.

Guitar Woman Nov 1st, 2009 09:33 PM

It's a gandalf pipe. It's good for reading because the bowl doesn't get in the way of your book.

I bet you'd enjoy being surrounded by sweaty, naked men, you putz

Chojin Nov 1st, 2009 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 656299)
It's a gandalf pipe. It's good for reading because the bowl doesn't get in the way of your book.

I bet you'd enjoy being surrounded by sweaty, naked men, you putz

sweaty, naked, STRONG men.

Babs Nov 2nd, 2009 02:13 AM

By the way, where the hell has Pac Man been? He hasn't posted in about 5 months or more.

Guitar Woman Nov 2nd, 2009 06:27 AM

who?

Babs Nov 2nd, 2009 07:01 AM

that black guy

Babs Nov 2nd, 2009 07:03 AM

:pagebrak

Aaarg Nov 2nd, 2009 10:25 AM

so i'm eating a mixture of count chocula and boo berry. it's fucking delicious.

this one's probably about 2/3 c.c. and 1/3 b.b.

Kitsa Nov 2nd, 2009 11:36 AM

I've mixed boo berry and frankenberry before. Makes the milk a neat lavender color.

I think that burn last night took something out of me...I'm not getting jack shit accomplished today :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 2nd, 2009 01:14 PM

After months of not getting around to it I went to Target to buy a toaster for $6. I wake up the next morning after months of wanting to make waffles. Put the waffles in and after 30 seconds the toaster starts smoking really bad. The waffles weren't burning but the toaster started to. Now I have to wait till wednesday to return it and get a better one.

Kitsa Nov 2nd, 2009 01:25 PM

That sucks.

I've been getting entertaining texts from some guy who thinks I'm the girl he met Halloween night. She must have given him a fake number.

Tadao Nov 2nd, 2009 01:25 PM

You're not supposed to pour waffle batter into a toaster you fucking drunk bastard.

stevetothepast Nov 2nd, 2009 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 656427)
You're not supposed to pour waffle batter into a toaster you fucking drunk bastard.

:lol

Aaarg Nov 2nd, 2009 03:12 PM

i remember when i wanted to get a toaster oven really bad, but then i thought about how much easier it is to just buy eggos.

i mean, yeah, real waffles are infinitely better, but fuck. eggo's take two minutes at best.

sorry for your toasted loss.

Kitsa Nov 2nd, 2009 04:55 PM

Toaster convection ovens are wonderful. I bake cookies, cupcakes, casseroles, everything in mine. I barely even use my regular oven.

Has to be a convection oven, though. Mine's a black and decker, ran about $60.

Aaarg Nov 2nd, 2009 04:56 PM

Toaster convection oven? I don't even know what that is.

I always had a toaster growing up, it wasn't until moving out that I was introduced to toaster ovens.

executioneer Nov 2nd, 2009 04:59 PM

yeah convection ovens are awesome. you can even take em outside so you don't heat up the house if you're baking in summertime

Dimnos Nov 2nd, 2009 05:03 PM

Toasted turkey and muenster. All the reason you need to get a toaster oven. :yum

Dimnos Nov 2nd, 2009 05:04 PM

GD it! Now Im hungry! F you guys. >:

Kitsa Nov 2nd, 2009 05:05 PM

this is what I have:

http://www.blackanddeckerappliances....st-r-oven.aspx

Aaarg Nov 2nd, 2009 05:08 PM

I don't know what we have, but it's red!

And yes, toasting sandwiches makes them five-hundred times better.

stevetothepast Nov 2nd, 2009 05:24 PM

I'll have to disagree. Toasted sandwiches are over-rated. The only reason to toast is to melt the cheese.

Aaarg Nov 2nd, 2009 05:33 PM

Well yeah, but hot shaved meat is yummy.

Or if you just toast the bread and the cheese, and then add the meat post-toasting.

But maaaaan, I don't know if I could eat a pulled pork sandwich without first toasting the bread anymore.

Wait, yes I could, that's yumlicious.

Guitar Woman Nov 2nd, 2009 06:31 PM

toast is for my eggs, not my cold cut combo.

Kitsa Nov 2nd, 2009 07:01 PM

well, it's not just for sandwiches.

You can make small batches (6 or fewer) of muffins or cookies, therefore not having a bunch sitting around to make you feel like a fatty.

You can make impressive grill marks on burger/hotdog buns. It's easier to control how toasty your bagels get.

If you can move the rack to the lowest position, you can roast a small chicken in one.

It's perfect for baked potatoes.

They make a half-size loaf of garlic bread that fits perfectly in toaster ovens.

And so on.

Babs Nov 2nd, 2009 07:10 PM

Just ordered Pizza Hut online for the first time. What can I say, amazing technology these days revolving around pizza alone.

Can't wait for this Super Supreme Pizza and some P'Zone.

executioneer Nov 2nd, 2009 07:14 PM

man i'm out of range of all the pizza huts, i gotta get dominos when i do online orders >:

Chojin Nov 2nd, 2009 08:06 PM

foreman grill, toaster oven, and an electric range and you're set for life

the foreman grill becomes the most important when you're dieting, though

Fathom Zero Nov 2nd, 2009 08:17 PM

RUTGER HAUER POWER HOUR RUTGER HAUER POWER HOUR

Fathom Zero Nov 2nd, 2009 08:19 PM


Fathom Zero Nov 2nd, 2009 08:20 PM


Fathom Zero Nov 2nd, 2009 08:24 PM


mah page hauer

Pub Lover Nov 3rd, 2009 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 656427)
You're not supposed to pour waffle batter into a toaster you fucking drunk bastard.

Aww, soooo Cute. ^_^
Quote:

Originally Posted by Wiffles (Post 656342)
I like 4 letter words too... like Love and Hapy ^_^

Cute and Clever. ^_^
Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 656197)
i'm eating a lollypop right this very moment!

and this is the only time i will ever be able to participate in this thread cause i'm not allowed to eat in my room :( :( byeeeeeee :(

Cute and Sweet. ^_^

Babs Nov 3rd, 2009 02:41 AM

What the fuck is a Railfan? Who the hell seriously gets a god damn hard on over a train. This up there with being next to that awkward furry shit.

Zhukov Nov 3rd, 2009 06:22 AM

What's not to like about a huge beast born of Steel and Iron careening down a track at hundreds of kilometers an hour?

I mean, I'm not a rail-fan, I don't have model railways or anything, but I can see why people would like them.

Kitsa Nov 3rd, 2009 08:21 AM

Mandy Patinkin hearts trains.


10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 3rd, 2009 10:25 AM

I ended up having to use the toaster oven for the eggos. I love my toaster oven but not for making waffles or toast(mine is kind of old so it burns things.) Great for reheating pizza or wings.

Dimnos Nov 3rd, 2009 10:25 AM

A little late but what the fuck ever... Pizza Hut sucks balls! Their sauce is just tomato paste. >: Freschetta Brick Over Pizza is where its at! IF you just have to order in Papa Johns is the way to go.

captain516 Nov 3rd, 2009 10:35 AM

Remember the "Jackpot!' guy from the recent Pizza Hut cokmmercials? Good God I never wanted to punch a fictional character so hard in my life.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 3rd, 2009 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 656630)
Remember the "Jackpot!' guy from the recent Pizza Hut cokmmercials? Good God I never wanted to punch a fictional character so hard in my life.

Jim Brewer

captain516 Nov 3rd, 2009 10:47 AM

Damn, too bad youtube's blocked here. I really want to see him "flip out".

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 3rd, 2009 11:03 AM

I bet pizza hut was all like "We need a celebrity to endorse our new pizzah hut commercials....but we only have $20. Who could we get?"

And Jim Brewer was all like "I'll take the case."

captain516 Nov 3rd, 2009 11:05 AM

Next thing you now, there's gonna be a jackpot MOVIE.

Guitar Woman Nov 3rd, 2009 12:43 PM

fuck ties

Seven Force Nov 3rd, 2009 01:45 PM

id never be able to wear them if i did that

Guitar Woman Nov 3rd, 2009 04:48 PM

It's a good thing I stepped in that pile of dog shit after my job interview and not before it!

Also, how the fuck is someone with no people skills supposed to get a job, ever? What if I don't LIKE being a leader? How about a skill where I let you employers suck shit out of my ass?

I should have just skipped the interview and bought hard drugs to inject into my eye sockets.

Dimnos Nov 3rd, 2009 04:51 PM

Janitor dude.

Dr. Boogie Nov 3rd, 2009 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 656678)
Also, how the fuck is someone with no people skills supposed to get a job, ever? What if I don't LIKE being a leader? How about a skill where I let you employers suck shit out of my ass?

You learn to fake sincerity and interest in whatever the employer does, and you pretend to be interested in the crappy lives of the people you work with. Ask any business major.

Tadao Nov 3rd, 2009 04:55 PM

Most of us lie in order to make money.

Tadao Nov 3rd, 2009 04:56 PM

GODDAMMITTTTTTTTTTT

Dr. Boogie Nov 3rd, 2009 04:57 PM

That's two people telling you to lie, GW. Get on it.

Guitar Woman Nov 3rd, 2009 05:00 PM

I was applying for some grassroots campaign shit and I lied through my teeth about how much I cared about genocide in Darfur, but I was jittery as fuck during the interview and probably looked like I was on cocaine the entire time.

Plus whenever they ask me WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING TO OUR WORK TEAM I think "uh, how about another person, you prick? You're the one who needed the fucking new employees so bad you put up a classified ad"

Guitar Woman Nov 3rd, 2009 05:02 PM

With the benefit of hindsight I think I at least did better than the heavyset black lady in goodwill clothes and jewelery who went "mmhmm" under her breath every 2 seconds during the group interview and at one point left to talk on her cell-phone for five minutes.

Liberals are also dumber than shit and their standards for pretty much everything are really low, so I think I've got a fighting chance.

stevetothepast Nov 3rd, 2009 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 656679)
Janitor dude.

I was a janitor for a year and a half. it was easy and allowed me to be an alcoholic.

Dr. Boogie Nov 3rd, 2009 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 656686)
Plus whenever they ask me WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING TO OUR WORK TEAM I think "uh, how about another person, you prick?

It's a generic question, so give them a generic answer:

Dedication
A hard-working spirit
A can-do attitude

executioneer Nov 3rd, 2009 05:17 PM

two hundred and fo'ty dollars worth 'a puddin'

Tadao Nov 3rd, 2009 05:19 PM

:pagebrak

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 656686)
I was applying for some grassroots campaign shit

You can get paid for doing this?

Guitar Woman Nov 3rd, 2009 05:21 PM

Neighborhood of 300 dollars a week, brah.

It's the kind of thing where you hang out on street corners or go door to door and pester people to donate for THE CAUSE.

I would hate myself, but I would also have money.

Fathom Zero Nov 3rd, 2009 05:26 PM

I don't like interacting with people. I can't do that. I like manual labor.

I could work in a meat-packing plant in my neck of the woods and make eighteen dollars and hour for lifting a box of meat five feet for seven hours a day, two ten minute breaks, and a lunch break.

Tadao Nov 3rd, 2009 05:27 PM

Yeah, but you would have to join a union. :x

Fathom Zero Nov 3rd, 2009 05:33 PM

what if I don't want to join a union?

Tadao Nov 3rd, 2009 05:34 PM

You won't work with meat then.

Fathom Zero Nov 3rd, 2009 05:37 PM

Bah. Unions suck.

Tadao Nov 3rd, 2009 05:45 PM

A long time ago, they were a good thing. I think nowadays they are using the people as a weapon for their own greed.

Guitar Woman Nov 3rd, 2009 05:48 PM

Jobs suck.

Why the fuck can't I just be a bum?

Dr. Boogie Nov 3rd, 2009 05:50 PM

Because you still have to sit outside and interact with people.

Guitar Woman Nov 3rd, 2009 05:53 PM

Not that I can't interact with people, I just feel like employers require you to be Dwayne Johnson in terms of charisma

And honestly, who would you hire first, a nervous, jittery alcoholic or The Rock

Wiffles Nov 3rd, 2009 05:56 PM

You should definately try being a bum, and see if it works well with you. Otherwise there are alot of jobs that dont need charisma, like fruit picker or something ^.^;

captain516 Nov 3rd, 2009 05:57 PM

It's not that hard to smile and and nod politley. I'm socially awkward and even I can do that.

Kitsa Nov 3rd, 2009 05:57 PM

Unless you can snag one of these:

http://network.nationalpost.com/np/b...rvey-city.aspx

The most spectacularly blown job interview I ever saw was a doctor. My boss, the superhighup executive doctor, had just gotten back from vacationing at his timeshare in Montana. While he waited for the interview guy to arrive, he was telling me about how great Montana was and how on his way to the airport there was an actual moose in the road. He and his wife and his kids all got out to look at the moose.

When the interview doctor arrived, he said he was sorry he was late and that he'd just gotten off a plane. This prompted my boss to ask where he was from. Montana, of course. My boss's eyes lit up and he started to go back into the spiel about how great Montana is.

The interviewee doctor said, "Yeah, it's great but the tourists have ruined it. On my way out there was some idiot who caused a huge traffic backup to gawk at a moose in the road."

That reads like a joke, but I swear it happened, I was sitting right there. The guy didn't get the job.

Guitar Woman Nov 3rd, 2009 05:59 PM

:lol

Kitsa Nov 3rd, 2009 06:03 PM

Ever since then, I've been trying to figure out the logistics. Was it my boss? Was it a different tourist? I can't remember when my boss got back to Chicago. I think it was that morning; I think this was a Monday. Could they have been on the same flight, or were there several morning flights from Montana to Chicago?

I found myself really, really hoping it was my boss the guy was pissed off about. I'm pretty sure my boss assumed it was.

Aaarg Nov 3rd, 2009 07:50 PM

Apparently Office Depot has higher security measures in place for their online store than the following: Amazon, Verizon, West Virginia University, Northern Virginia Community College, and the federal fucking government's Direct Student Loans program.

All of those services (and probably more I've forgotten over the years) have no problem with me using my credit card to make purchases, but not Office Depot!

So now I'm not getting the computer that I received a "shipping confirmation" email regarding, and I have to wait until my bank account clears the hold for the transaction and I can buy a different computer and then wait a few days for that.

I was really looking forward to fucking around with a new computer tonight, but uhhh I guess I'll have to wait another week at least?

Fuck you.


EDIT: also the couple I live with is fighting and I have to pick him up from class later (though she's at the same fucking place as him for the same amount of fucking time) and then I guess we're still hanging out and getting fucked up together?

stevetothepast Nov 3rd, 2009 08:03 PM

nobody said life would be easy Fido

Aaarg Nov 3rd, 2009 08:07 PM

everything's so terrible in the winter. i get paranoid that other people think less of me, i tend to get overwhelmed by a state of depression, blah blah blah. i don't like it when it gets cold.

stevetothepast Nov 3rd, 2009 08:16 PM

ya I think a lot of people feel that way in winter, in one way I look forward to the snow, but it does get pretty depressing after a while, my favorite season is the fall hands down. The summer pisses me off, too damn hot for my liking, spring is bullshit mud everywhere, fucking soggy ground and shit, and winter is depressing like you've said.

Aaarg Nov 3rd, 2009 08:29 PM

Yeah, fall is beautiful but it also tends to make me sad. It seems to make me dream a lot more, or at least has my imagination running more frequently. I like that aspect of it, but not the depression.

I used to hate the summer, but I've been growing to enjoy it more and more each year.

I love the changing of seasons because it makes things look different, but fuuuuuck the winter.

Luckily I'm not the only one in this household who feels this way. I was outside with my friend's wife, staring at the mountain across the road. She said "this part of the year makes me want to die."

Chojin Nov 3rd, 2009 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 656692)
Neighborhood of 300 dollars a week, brah.

i wish i lived in the neighborhood of 300 dollars a week

Fathom Zero Nov 3rd, 2009 09:11 PM

Fucking Quicktime fucking piece of shit fucking Apple software. >:

executioneer Nov 3rd, 2009 09:12 PM

what'd it do this time

Fathom Zero Nov 3rd, 2009 09:15 PM

It doesn't want to let me actually download .mp3s. It keeps playing them in my browser. And I can't right click, because it's linked to from a Flash object.

I'm sure there's a setting in Quicktime, but I didn't care enough to keep a program that appropriated all media from everywhere.

And it called me a ******.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:40 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.