:pagebrak

Hey Babs, you're pretty cute. Why don't you show me your penis? :eek

Some people think being told they have a big cock is a good thing. :eek

You always have dicks on the mind huh?

Mind/Mouth. Same thing. :yum

I dream of your teeth on my cock.

oh hi rankeri

What about my teeth?

I think I see what Chojin meant. :eek

Is that a fetish? :eek

:eek

Misshapen British teeth blow jobs? :eek

Dylan won't be into them if you got nice ones. :eek

That's pretty shallow.

Lazier as I'm drunker & heartbrokener. :eek

I've gone on holiday by mistake.

I better hurry up and take that picture off the Internet :( people might do things with it :eek.

I can't fucking find it now >:

So I've had four debilitating migraines in the past week. I haven't been able to go to work and they told me that my hours are going to be severely cut. This is the same reason that I got fired from my last job (that I actually liked).

I've suffered chronic migraines all my life but it was only once a fortnight or so previously, now it's every few days.

What do people think are my chances of appealing to the government for welfare?

..

No! We're supposed to send our dicks to each other. :eek

:lol

it's been so long since someone's gotten pissed off

They're not migraines. They are ice cream headaches. Stop scoffing down all the 99s and you'll be right as rain. :eek

I know nothing about your government, but might as well give it a try. The migraines are obviously affecting your work.

Do it ASAP while that reporter's incident with a stroke-like migraine is still fresh in everyone's head.

I hate migraines, especially the debilitating ones. Do you get the sparkly crescents before them too? I see one of those and know the day's going to be shot for me.

:pagebrak

This week was my first week at my new job, at Bose.

MOST. BALLINEST. JOB. EVER.

Sounds hellla better than your last one. Even though I forget what it was.

I think he was some clerk at a game? store and got fired for using a gift certificate he found on the floor. :eek

I couldn't tell if that was a joke or not.

I beat the Akinator. Woohoo.

Nah, I couldn't remember. I only remembered that he was screwed over.

:(

Coz he's working for Bose. It sounds better.

Oh :lol

Too funny.

BTW, one of my brothers works for L-Acoustics. Sometimes he gets free concert tickets. I hope the same goes for you Gama.

I thought you must be joking since you used the phrase 'hella'.

My manager scheduled me for 40 hours each week, apparently forgetting that I'm part-time and have college to take care of. FUCK THE SYSTEM GUYS, I'M A WORKING CLASS WARRIOR

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! AM I RIGHT?

Yeah, that's why I never bothered to hire part time students. I needed people who wanted to work.

Be careful, my lord. Miss Elx issued a fatwa against Dylan for suggesting her edit button be taken away. :eek

I think everyone's edit buttons should be taken away.

I'm just like Salman Rushdie.

Dear Gentle Jesus, please don't take away my edit button. I need it.

EDIT: See! I needed to edit that last sentence because a period after button is more effective than a ridiculous comma. probably

I was in favour of this long before I lost my own in that terrible accident. :eek

A short, balding hobbit with an unreasonably attractive wife? :eek

Why do people make sweaters out of these things?

Because it's soft, and harvesting it doesn't hurt the rabbit. :themoreyouknow

Yay, new Avalanches album closer to completion.

Yay. Looking good. You weren't kidding about the hair. Nicely done. :love

For a moment before the headset thing registered, I thought that was a length of coax cable over her shoulder.

I hope to hear more about you hating penguins, 95% of the high school you go to, preps, baseball, and more. :eek

:pagebrak

HEY GUYS, WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON? :picklehat

NOTHING REALLY

SAME MINOR BULLSHIT




DID YOU EVER GET THAT DAMN THING I SENT YA

ON A RELATED NOTE, WE NEED A PURPLE HIPPO EMOTICON

we don't

It's the hour of the lurking spambot :x

There's a couple signed in that were already banned two months ago. Weird

ITs probably like those raptors in jurassic park. testing the fences.

I say everyone loses their edit every march in honor of those who have fallen.

Freaking earthquakes. I'm still not dead though. :eek

Hey Tom, you know how you were all "no one even died" in the last quake? :eek

We went and shot a few chaps just so there would be fatalities this time. :eek

Are you happy now, Big Man? :eek

Earthquakes, floods, brown tree snakes and great white sharks. How many ways are there to die down under?

The world may never know.

And volcanos. I almost forgot the volcanos. :dunce

Not happy enough :eek

Don't forget those spiders that hide under the toilet seat, or irukandji

Aren't there also trees that fucking explode if they get too hot? I imagine living in Australia is a lot like being trapped in a NES game.

/dickjoke

penises work backwards in the other hemisphere

:lol

Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Taipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell
That spikes you when you pick it up

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed

HAHAHA, I-MOCKERY CHAT (IT STINGS!)

RANKERI STOGIE'S EATING THE COUCH IT SOUNDS LIKE A GORILLA EATING A LOG CABIN BLING BLONG BLING BLONG

Doesn't Australia also have exploding ants?

And killer rabbits.

How old are you, Sappy? I wish it was still October and I was interested in talking about Minecraft in here. :eek

:pagebrak

fuck yeah :rock

In 8 hours, pharmacy tech certification exam. Been on uppers for approximately 24 hours and now my mind has grown numb with the sense of feeling disconnected from reality. All I can hear in my head now is David Bowie's "Life on Mars" with the lyrics rearranged into generic and brand name drugs.

Some of you may know I have an irrational phobia of dentistry. I went in for a root canal after ripping out my crown and some of the tooth.
So, 50mg of Halcion and a generous amount of nitrous later, and I'm laying in the chair, floating towards the ceiling, and seeing the music as Postal Service was playing in hy earbuds.
I actually had a very fun time. :)

Your dentist raped you when you were under.

He used his pubic hair as dental floss.

@ Zhukov: cone shell.

:bestthread

Better living through chemistry. :themoreyouknow

Tis song lyrics.

It's not rape if they can't say no :love

RANKERI, COLONEL





I'M PROUD OF YOU BOTH

The most delicious dishwater ever. yummm

fucking swill

Couple of smug prick-erries that couldn't even identify a half-decent bourbon, let alone a half-decent scotch

GAWDAMN FURRINERS WITH THEIR SCOTCH, AIN'T NOTHIN BETTER THAN A SAWR MASH THAT JIM BEAM'S GRANPAPPY FURMENTED OUTTA HISSOWN PISS, YESSE DID. SCOTCH AIN'T NUTHIN

NOW THAT JIM BEAM'S GOT THAT NEW THANG, CALLED IT "RED STAG" AND SHEEEEIT, IT'S A BEAUT. "INFUSED" WITH CHERRIES Y'ALL, BLACK CHERRIES. 'COURSE, DAMNED IF IT DON'T TASTE LIKE COUGH SYRUP, BUT THAT'S THE KIND OF THANG YA GOTTA DEAL WITH WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' THE HIGH LIFE.

PLUS, THAT SHIT'S O-FISH-EEALLY ENDORSED BY KID ROCK, SO Y'ALL KNOW IT'S QUALITY SHIT

MAN I TELL YA. SOME GUY COMES UP AN HE TALKIN' BOUT ALL "GLENLIVET" AN 'CRAGGANMORE' AN ALL AN' I'M LIKE, Y'ALL BEST BE GETTIN' BACK TO FRANCE NOW BUCKWHEAT, THIS HERE'S THE U-NITED STATES OF AMURCA

AN THEN SOME FAGGOT JEWBOY SUMBITCH COMES UP AND TRIES TO CONVINCE ME THAT BOURBONS LIKE WOODFORD RESERVE AN' MAKERS MARK ARE BETTER THAN JIM BEAM! CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THAT? I'M LIKE "IF'n IT'S A BOURBON, AND IT AIN'T NAMED OLD CROW, I AIN'T TOUCHIN IT."

AND THEN.... YEAH BUDDY, THERE'S MORE- AND THEN, THIS PIECE OF SHIT BARTENDER LOOKS OVER AND HE'S LIKE "WELL, HAVE YOU EVER TRIED IRISH WHISKEY? I'VE GOT SOME RED BREAST OVER HERE".

SO I'M LIKE "MY GREAT GRAMPA FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO KEEP ALL THAT IRISH SHIT THE FUCK OUTTA AWR CUNTRY, PARD."

:lol @ G²

You are the wind beneath my wings.

The type of people who drink that crap are the same people who put sugar in folders and say YUM THATS A GOOD CUP OF COFFEE.

My uncle is a whiskey alcoholic who claims he isn't because he appriciates "quality". He once told me that one cannot be an alcoholic unless they drink "the clear stuff". Snobbery is irrelevant. Point being; i drink beer, and love a good abbey ale.

I'm the only foodie snob I know who will drink Wild Turkey.

Whiskey is for guys who want to blame their impotence on alcohol.