Stupid things you did as a kid.
 

After seeing the movie "Pochahontas" where she does the dive off the waterfall, I attempted to do the same dive, arms spread, from the high dive at my pool and messed my belly up pretty bad.

I wanted to play with my brother's fish, so I picked up a big plastic one and shoved my arm into the tank to interact.

I chased an ice-cream truck and had no idea where I was.

I kept my rabbit in my bedroom for a week or two after seeing a crappy horror movie about killer bees because I thought they were going to kill her.

In 1st grade, when it was time to tell jokes, mine was "What does a lake say when his nose is blocked up?" and loudly answered "GOD DAM!" which knocked me back a star on the Good Deeds board.

Luckily, I didn't seriously injure myself. Except the two failed attempts at bathing my cat.
It goes on.

Were your parents cousins?

My parents keep telling relatives a story about me flushing an Apple down the toilet :/

Were you bobbing for it?

I flooded my house because of that scene from home alone.

I tried to flush my cat down the toliet every day 3 times a day for about a year.

I ran across the street and got grounded for 3 months.

And the best one ever: I blew up a microwave with a knife that I put in it.

i loved the baby ducks to death. :(

I sold my Sega Genesis :tear

YOu squeezed them to death?

Nah, no inbreeding here. I just have an impressive resume.
I WAS A LOVEABLE SCAMP.

I rode my bike and played chicken with a telephone pole.

For a long time, I thought Indian money was comprised of tiny colored crystals.

I collected broken glass thinking they were precious stones and jewels.

I acciddentaly ate a whole spoonfull of Wasabi thinking it was Guacamole.

when i was a wee one i shit my pants, boy was that stupid! how old are we talking here? when i was in elementary school some girl said I had "jelly rolls" so i pushed her off the fucking swing that bitch!!

I thought my grandmother was my best friend. And that she was my age, and also male.

When my mom told me that my aunts were indeed referred to as "aunts", I cried because I thought they got turned into insects.

I gave a lot of kids the middle finger in first grade, not knowing what the middle finger meant. I thought it was just a cool thing I learned to do with my hands. They didn't appreciate it the way i did. :(

when I was in Preschool, I decided to help my dad thatch the lawn while he went to the garage to get more gas for the thatcher, and I put my hands on the engine trying to push it. Boy, did my hands blister up.

My friend and I in kindergarten went exploring in the forest behind his house and got lost for 3-4 hours.

In 5th grade at a Family Camping ground, I got angry at my Mom for not bringing along my bicycle after she promised so I yelled at her and said "fine, I'll walk home and get it" she said "Go ahead" and I tried to walk the 30 miles home along the mountain highway, finally being picked up by a cop at 1 in the morning about 16 miles away.

I ruined a friendship by making a joke on a female friends myspace about how drunk she was the night before at the bar. She was in a custody battle for her kid at the time, she got really angry and I haven't talked to her in about a year. (latest dumb thing)

I tried flushing the toilet with a christmas ornament. Why? I don't know, but my hand bled for a while.

Jumped into a pool and hit my chin.

Got dragged into a stick sticking out of the ground when my dog chased something. Stitches ahoy.

Threw a building block when I was 5 and hit my cousin in the head. Her cries ached me. :(

OH MAN, I did that once. My class was talking about fingers in first grade or something and everyone put up their index finger. Some kids tried to be funny and put up a pinky, or ring ir something so I, not wanting to be left behind in this wave of social reform, put up my middle finger and the entire class gasped.

My teacher called me up, horrified, whispered in my ear to not do that, and I went home so, so confused.

I stole tires (not off of cars) and made a mountain out of them in the sixth grade.

I bit a teacher and ran out to the playground. I hid in the slide for an hour before they found me. :(

Haha, this reminds me of something I actually did.

When I was very young, preschool-kindergarten probably, I started experimenting with my middle finger, and being yelled at and told that it meant something awful only fueled my curiousity. So I guess my incapability to control my fingers made my mother hatch this plan to tell me that if someone sees you flippin' the bird, they'll shoot it right off your hand. This concept terrified me, and somehow it came together in my head that there was an elite and massive team of police sharp shooters on buildings and unmarked cars just waiting for someone to slip up so they can ruin the shit out of you. I kind of wish this was the case, because then I'd know what I want to be when I grow up.

lol @ sacks' first post :<

We were playing king of the hill at my middle school and some teacher told us to stop and i called him a faggot ;< he was all WHAT DID YOU SAY and i said, UHHH, I SAID HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T KNOW HOW KING OF THE HILL IS PLAYED and he was all WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BOY? '...BEN.' BEN WHO? 'BEN ROGERS.' OKAY.

And he stormed off. I'd later have him as a teacher throughout high school and he was a pretty chill guy. He never mentioned it again, so I guess he forgot ;<

by the way just between us guys my name is not ben rogers

when I was about 8 I was digging trenches in the back yard for my plastic army men and after getting about 4 and a half feet i hit a buried natural gas line in my curiosity I dug around it until i had unburied about 3 feet of it, then my mom came running out of the house screaming at me not to touch it or I'd blow up the entire neighborhood.

I used to hide in the circular jean-display-things at department stores and giggle my little head off. My mom told me that if I did that, the pants would bite me, so I never did it again.

I took the meat out of hamburgers and just ate the hog dog meat without the bun until I was, I think, 12? 14? I stopped because it's super unfilling.

I didn't know which shoe went on which foot until I was about nine or ten.

When I was a kid, I used to get made fun of a lot by the other guys on the playground (loved by the girls though ;D ) and as a result I still have sort of a tendency to be waaay too super-competitive. One time my grandmother and I were playing Captain America and the Avengers for the NES and we were playing the Duel mode. I would play as Iron Man because he was the only character that could fly and shoot directly below him, which led to me chasing my grandmother all around the stage and ultimately killing her. After she started choosing Iron Man and figured out how to fly, and I picked Hawkeye out of pity and couldn't win, I went into a FURIOUS RAGE and threw my NES controller into her eye.

I was a dumb kid.