Abortion - have you had one?
 

So now do you hate yourself, suffer from depression, wish you were dead, spend everyday wondering what your child should have been doing? Do you have a sister that attends seances that talks to the child you killed? Does every little thing wich you were dead?

I've never HAD one, but I've paid for a couple. No, never had a seance and talked to an aborted fetus. Never wondered what the fetus would be doing now.

I appreciate from that reply you thought I was joking about. Fair enough on this board that's very understandable.
Thing is, 5 years later, I regularly still crack up.

Memories have been called a lovely torture by poets of the past, but I think those like yourself whom experience them to a depth left untread by the majority could contest the point. Shades of events long past shifting through your mind like shards of glass, opening wounds far more tender than those caused when the choices were freshly concieved.

I've never been the empathetical sort, and my sympathy has a way of sounding like pity. . .I'm afraid I do not have any consoling words or instances of soul crushing sadness to share which might help you on occassions like this.

But I can offer a prayer and do so gladly.

Bod, we all do things in life we feel guilt about, or doubt ourselves about from the very trivial to the very significant. I know its easier to say than do, but you can't spend years beating yourself up about something you can't change.
If your sis really is doing that, thats just very strange and is more of a reflection on her than you.

i have friends who've had them. they never talk about them and of course i don't ask.

sometimes it's just one of those things that you feel that you have to do. something just innocuous as having fun one evening can seriously fuck things up. being silly and messing around with your guy shouldn't result in reproduction - i really wish it didn't. but it's like weighing the consequences and you know, if this was a perfect world, yeah there would be no problem with keeping the baby, but knowing me at least, i'm busy as hell and hardly have time to maintain myself. i don't like children. i like sex, yes, but sex and children are very separate entities and i wish one didn't result in the other. it makes no sense to me for some reason why it did.

i think a lot of people have had them. i had a close call recently involving running to rite aid at 4 a.m. for some DIY tests. i remember thinking to myself on the way what i would do if i were pregnant, and abortion, as unlikeable as that option is, was the step that immediately came to mind as what i would end up doing if i were pregnant. if i had a close call, i'm sure so many other women have gone through this too- and actually were pregnant.

my friends seem the same nutty ppl they always were and if they're suffering on the inside, they never show it. maybe somethings you just have to block out b/c even if it was for the best, you can't change the result so why hurt yourself thinking about it.