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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Tadao Jun 30th, 2012 06:22 PM

I bet her dad gave her a boner hug

Tadao Jun 30th, 2012 06:39 PM


Shrubfest Jun 30th, 2012 06:55 PM

Dad does not do boner hugs. He spends too much time telling me how he wishes I'd had siblings.

Fathom Zero Jun 30th, 2012 07:32 PM

The alternative, though, is to hear about how he wishes you could be more like those other siblings.

Kitsa Jun 30th, 2012 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 759968)

Also, how did you explain it? I don't even know how to explain it if I had to and I wrote it :(

EDIT: Turns out the original context was brony related. Now I'm even MORE embarrassed for you.


"Bunch of idiots", I thought, was putting it rather succinctly.

Tadao Jun 30th, 2012 09:54 PM

Maybe you would have more siblings if your dad could get it up around you.

ThrashO Jun 30th, 2012 11:40 PM

show pops the shrub

ThrashO Jul 1st, 2012 12:01 AM

Hey fags this was a good article

http://www.progressiveboink.com/2012...efeld-drawings

I think this guy drew some of The Maxx

Fathom Zero Jul 1st, 2012 12:54 AM

DON'T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MAXX AGAIN

Tadao Jul 1st, 2012 01:18 AM

FUCKING HELL

ThrashO Jul 1st, 2012 01:59 AM

He didnt even draw any of it. You guys were right.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 1st, 2012 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 759995)
DON'T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MAXX AGAIN

DON'T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MAXIM AFINOGENOV EITHER


Fathom Zero Jul 1st, 2012 03:09 AM

grrrrrrrrrrl

that was awesome

Tadao Jul 1st, 2012 01:12 PM

I bet he dances like a fucking fruitcake as well

Otto Jul 1st, 2012 04:31 PM

I think I owe something to Rob Liefeld, seeing as his stuff single-handedly kept me from reading superhero comics.

Tadao Jul 2nd, 2012 01:04 AM


Tadao Jul 2nd, 2012 02:47 AM


Fathom Zero Jul 2nd, 2012 07:56 AM


Fathom Zero Jul 2nd, 2012 08:19 AM



More Die Antwoord. And... Harmony Korine.

OKAY

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 3rd, 2012 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 759987)

ZUGS

Sam Jul 3rd, 2012 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 760017)
ZUGS

>:

Tadao Jul 3rd, 2012 02:05 AM

boner zugs

Fathom Zero Jul 3rd, 2012 03:19 AM

EDIT: I originally wrote something incredibly boring here.

Not that it would've changed anything.

Esuohlim Jul 3rd, 2012 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 760018)
>:

SAM

Esuohlim Jul 3rd, 2012 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 760020)
EDIT: I originally wrote something incredibly boring here.

Not that it would've changed anything.


Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2012 11:05 AM

Got a free subscription to Spin magazine.

Read the first issue yesterday.

What a bunch of masturbatory product-placement-heavy claptrap about a bunch of bands I care little to nothing about. Rock journalism has gone down the shitter hard.

All I came away with was vague surprise about Patton Oswalt being moderately articulate in an op-ed piece.

Aaarg Jul 3rd, 2012 12:03 PM

woah they still publish spin? that's awful.

i burned my hand/wrist with soup because i'm a fuckwit.

Esuohlim Jul 3rd, 2012 06:36 PM

MATLOCK DIED BUT WE STILL HAVE ABE VIGODA

http://www.abevigoda.com

captain516 Jul 3rd, 2012 10:32 PM

Somewhere there is a Grandpa Simpson crying right now

Dimnos Jul 4th, 2012 01:16 AM

Speaking of wang cutting, didn't you get yours done at planned parenthood for like $100? I have been putting this off for a year almost and still got no insurances.

Esuohlim Jul 4th, 2012 05:35 PM

God damn I hate the 4th of July. It really brings out the fucking redneck, nationalist, intolerant jerks.

Patriotism is gay.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 4th, 2012 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 760031)
MATLOCK DIED BUT WE STILL HAVE ABE VIGODA

http://www.abevigoda.com

Son of a bitch. I didn't know died.

Esuohlim Jul 4th, 2012 08:20 PM

Andys die in threes :(

Rooney
Griffith

...


Pub Lover Jul 4th, 2012 08:30 PM

Eric Sykes died. :(

But then maybe the British don't count.

Fathom Zero Jul 4th, 2012 08:37 PM

NOT TODAY, FAGS

Fathom Zero Jul 4th, 2012 08:38 PM



WOO

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 5th, 2012 01:32 AM

Why couldn't it have been andy dick.

I hate that guy.

kahljorn Jul 5th, 2012 11:35 AM

now i can only whistle the andy griffith theme song while i eat my morning grits with tears in my eyes :(

Kitsa Jul 5th, 2012 05:01 PM

I passed right by Mt Airy not long ago and didn't stop, now I wish I had, not that it would have meant or changed a damn thing.

I also bypassed the graves of Chang and Eng, the famous Barnum & Bailey conjoined twins who became tobacco farmers and slave owners and baptist deacons.

Fathom Zero Jul 5th, 2012 05:50 PM

the BEAUTIFUL MT. AIRY LODGE

Kitsa Jul 5th, 2012 07:03 PM

I did stop at the world's largest strawberry, though.

Kitsa Jul 5th, 2012 07:45 PM

*andy dicks touch each other*

Tadao Jul 6th, 2012 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 760034)
Speaking of wang cutting, didn't you get yours done at planned parenthood for like $100? I have been putting this off for a year almost and still got no insurances.

Yeah Planned Parenthood was going to charge me a bunch o money, but then I lost my job and they said "How about ten bucks then?"

Tadao Jul 6th, 2012 04:40 PM

I used to have ICQ as my instant messenger. That was awesome. Everyone had it and life was great. Than I had to add YIM and AIM because people are fickle and gay. Then MSN and now I'm supposed to Skype? Fuck all ya'll. I don't need to talk to anyone that badly.

Fathom Zero Jul 6th, 2012 05:20 PM

I have Skype because I'm going to get rid of my cell phone soon. :\

You don't need that shit in the internet age.

Aaarg Jul 6th, 2012 09:29 PM

once i tried icq and was like "NUMBERS? FUCKEN GAY" and then i tried yim and some 40-something dude sent me a message and i was like "SERIOUSLY FUCKEN GAY" and now it's 2012 and i still use aim

Aaarg Jul 6th, 2012 09:30 PM

also skype's lame because i'd feel obliged to pay attention to what's going on, rather than the 8 tabs i have open at any given moment

Kitsa Jul 7th, 2012 12:58 AM

Just got back from the ER, where I spent a fun-filled 3 hours checking to see if my cat left any chunks of teeth in my hand when he mauled it.

He didn't, but now I have to do a round of Augmentin. Hate Augmentin.

He was freaked out during a bath and now it looks like someone attacked the meat of my hand with a staple remover.

Shrubfest Jul 7th, 2012 09:53 AM

You bathe your cat? I hope you have a proper reason to (which I am sure you do) because otherwise I have no sympathy.

Speaking of cats, my cat is no longer obese! He's cat sized now.

Fathom Zero Jul 7th, 2012 10:12 AM

I don't have a cat. I have an ottoman.

Aaarg Jul 7th, 2012 10:20 AM

i wish i had 3 ottomans instead of 3 cats.

Fathom Zero Jul 7th, 2012 10:36 AM

my family owns a chiweenie now

it could be the ugliest pet ever

Aaarg Jul 7th, 2012 11:10 AM

sounds like it would be. punch them all and tell them to get an actual fucking dog next time. and then shit on the dog's face for good measure. you may have to sedate it first.

Kitsa Jul 7th, 2012 01:33 PM

He rolled in chemicals in the garage.

Dimnos Jul 7th, 2012 02:13 PM

If that Bsqared chick was still here, she could tell you what to do. I'm pretty sure she was a professional puppy killer.

Fathom Zero Jul 7th, 2012 09:11 PM



Dig the Connells, Tadao?

Esuohlim Jul 7th, 2012 09:33 PM

Didn't listen but it sounds like a buncha MICKS to me

Fathom Zero Jul 7th, 2012 10:36 PM

not reeeeeeeeeeeeaally

Chojin Jul 7th, 2012 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 760072)
I used to have ICQ as my instant messenger. That was awesome. Everyone had it and life was great. Than I had to add YIM and AIM because people are fickle and gay. Then MSN and now I'm supposed to Skype? Fuck all ya'll. I don't need to talk to anyone that badly.

i've noticed fewer and fewer people signing onto AIM and MSN now that Facebook is pretty much the defacto chat program. Add to that that Skype can load facebook chat and yeah I'd consider skype essential software prty much.

Tadao Jul 8th, 2012 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 760100)


Dig the Connells, Tadao?

I'll have to give it a serious listen to sometime. Hope I don't forget.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 760104)
i've noticed fewer and fewer people signing onto AIM and MSN now that Facebook is pretty much the defacto chat program. Add to that that Skype can load facebook chat and yeah I'd consider skype essential software prty much.

I don't much like facebook, maybe that's why. I'll wait till the next great thing so that I can remove all my old IMs and be hip and fresh.

Esuohlim Jul 8th, 2012 03:27 AM

lol I have chat turned off on Facebook

Fathom Zero Jul 8th, 2012 07:17 AM

New Dan Deacon album coming out. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THREE YEARS.

Chojin Jul 8th, 2012 08:22 AM

so thrasho and other peeps near NC,

I'm likely going to be in Raleigh next weekend to pick up my mail-order bride and so I'd like some tips on neat things in the area. Good food, attractions, etc.; what do you recommend?

we could also maybe hang out if i'm not too busy with the makeouts

Fathom Zero Jul 8th, 2012 08:28 AM

there's a zoo in Raleigh I think

You can do that!

Chojin Jul 8th, 2012 03:37 PM

update, i'm going to fayetteville instead

kahljorn Jul 8th, 2012 04:40 PM

UR GOIN TO FATTEYVILLE HUH

Chojin Jul 8th, 2012 05:10 PM



KAHLJORN YOU ARE PERMANENTLY EXPELLED

Fathom Zero Jul 8th, 2012 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 760116)
update, i'm going to fayetteville instead

Used to live there. There are plenty of strip clubs, pawn shops, and bad Chinese restaurants.

Esuohlim Jul 8th, 2012 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 753353)
I was thinking Castro too. Also Hugh Hefner. Ernest Borgnine is getting really fucking old, also. And maybe Lindsay Lohan as a wild card option.

Fuck yeah, I'm 1 for 4 so far this year.

Tadao Jul 9th, 2012 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 760118)
UR GOIN TO FATTEYVILLE HUH

lol

Colonel Flagg Jul 9th, 2012 05:32 AM

RIP McHale. :tear


Colonel Flagg Jul 9th, 2012 05:34 AM


MarioRPG Jul 9th, 2012 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 760122)
Fuck yeah, I'm 1 for 4 so far this year.

Man, I thought for sure I had made some predictions in that thread. Guess not.

Tadao Jul 9th, 2012 07:06 PM

I just realized I no longer have any Slayer. This ends today!

Otto Jul 10th, 2012 10:12 PM

I got in a huge fight with my father that ended with me getting a severely bruised arm and telling him that he was a worse father than Bing Crosby and Ryan O'Neal combined.

I'm so fucking glad I cut that deadbeat lout out of my life.

Tadao Jul 10th, 2012 11:04 PM


10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 10th, 2012 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 759938)
i'M HAVING A DEUCE

THE DEUCE IS A BOY

Zhukov Jul 10th, 2012 11:59 PM

You had a shit that was a boy? That's impressive.


Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying something that needs an ultrasound.

Dimnos Jul 11th, 2012 12:11 AM

I'm pinching a loaf right now. :eek

Tadao Jul 11th, 2012 12:41 PM

Happy free Slurpee day!

Esuohlim Jul 11th, 2012 02:28 PM

I just got offered a job you guys, but being lazy for 14 months was really fun so it's bittersweet

MarioRPG Jul 11th, 2012 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 760167)
Happy free Slurpee day!

Thanks internet!!! Brb:rock

Esuohlim Jul 11th, 2012 04:14 PM

EVERYONE'S FREE SLURPEE IS ON ME TODAY, FRIENDS

Kitsa Jul 11th, 2012 05:10 PM

1) I'm pretty sure linking to SA is a bannable offense here, but that crayon-bird-drawing thing they have on Goldmine looks so exactly like something that would be done here it poses a strong argument for some sort of halfassed convergent evolution.

2) I read a thing about the only Roman Catholic priest ever executed and it's fascinating.

Kitsa Jul 11th, 2012 07:52 PM

*edit- in the US. In the US. I'm pretty sure St. Maxmilien Mary Kolbe and a good chunk of martyrs would qualify for "in general".

Guitar Woman Jul 12th, 2012 06:11 PM

FUN FACT FOR THE DAY: searching for "coughing" in google images brings up pictures of people giving an invisible man a blowjob.

Guitar Woman Jul 12th, 2012 06:11 PM


Tadao Jul 12th, 2012 08:41 PM



:lol

Esuohlim Jul 12th, 2012 08:58 PM



:(

Womti Jul 13th, 2012 12:32 PM


Esuohlim Jul 13th, 2012 04:02 PM

Womti I'm going to give you 12 hours to make a case for why I shouldn't ban you. Post it in this thread. No less than 500 words. Cite your sources.

If it passes I'll leave you alone for now, but shitty spelling and grammar is an automatic ban so watch out. And have fun!

Esuohlim Jul 13th, 2012 09:31 PM

6 hours 30 minutes left

This is exciting :eek

Kitsa Jul 13th, 2012 10:24 PM

That's not entirely fair; you should have had the deadline fall during public library open hours.

Esuohlim Jul 13th, 2012 11:11 PM

OH MILHOUSE, YOU SLY BOOTS YOU ;) ;)

Esuohlim Jul 14th, 2012 05:09 AM

It would've been kinda fun if he had actually written something :(

Fathom Zero Jul 14th, 2012 01:20 PM

I think the implied pedophilia was more than enough to save him

but that's just one guy's opinion


Kitsa Jul 15th, 2012 03:07 PM

So I figured out why people with fucked up spines like myself are not supposed to try lifting or using weed-eaters.

Feel like my got-danged arms are going to fall off, when they feel anything at all.

Also got it wrapped up in the neighbors' chain link fence in very short order.

Tadao Jul 15th, 2012 04:59 PM

You don't have Mexicans out there?

Babs Jul 15th, 2012 06:56 PM

Ohio is like the bed bug capital of the world. So yes, they are present.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 16th, 2012 10:21 AM



DUCKS TOUCH EACH OTHER


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