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-   -   HEADLINE NEWS (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69704613)

Colonel Flagg Jun 20th, 2010 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie (Post 689738)
What if, instead of Freemen and Hillbillies, you called them "civilian contractors"?

Worked for Blackwater.

Fathom Zero Jun 20th, 2010 10:05 PM

THAT WAS MY RIMSHOT WORTHY POINT

Dr. Boogie Jun 20th, 2010 10:39 PM

I got an assist!

Colonel Flagg Jun 21st, 2010 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 689785)
THAT WAS MY RIMSHOT WORTHY POINT


Just call me Obviousman ... Sorry FZ :(

In other news, Joran van der Sloot is INSANE! Just ask his mother:

"She said he suffered severe psychological distress at the early death of his father, for which he blamed himself, she said, without giving further details."

Pathological lying apparently runs in the family.

Colonel Flagg Jun 21st, 2010 11:14 AM

Who's sorry now?

Dimnos Jun 21st, 2010 12:40 PM

Yeah. I never really liked the guy but he voted the way I wanted him to on a lot of issues. Guess I have to vote his ass out now. :(

The Leader Jun 21st, 2010 12:59 PM

Click on the text on this site. :eek
http://joebartonwouldliketoapologize.com/

Fathom Zero Jun 21st, 2010 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 689799)
Just call me Obviousman ... Sorry FZ :(

In other news, Joran van der Sloot is INSANE! Just ask his mother:

"She said he suffered severe psychological distress at the early death of his father, for which he blamed himself, she said, without giving further details."

Pathological lying apparently runs in the family.

Hahah. Guy's a scumbag and kudos to the Peruvian president for saying that they would not deport him under any circumstances and that he'd go to Peruvian jail for a crime in Peru. I don't know exactly, but if Peru's prisons are the same as just about any other South American country's, then the local population is gonna have lots of fun with that pretty boy. At least, until they stab him.

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2010 12:48 PM

You can put you dick in a stab wound.

Dimnos Jun 22nd, 2010 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 689808)
Click on the text on this site. :eek
http://joebartonwouldliketoapologize.com/


That is FUCKING AWESOME. :lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 689809)
Hahah. Guy's a scumbag and kudos to the Peruvian president for saying that they would not deport him under any circumstances and that he'd go to Peruvian jail for a crime in Peru. I don't know exactly, but if Peru's prisons are the same as just about any other South American country's, then the local population is gonna have lots of fun with that pretty boy. At least, until they stab him.

I hope they send his ass to Cuzco where they march em out into the yard nude every day to hose em down and hand out the morning beatings.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 689859)
You can put you dick in a stab wound.

Quite possibly NSFW?
Spoilers!

Kitsa Jun 22nd, 2010 03:16 PM

Isabella Rosselini is so strange :lol

Dimnos Jun 22nd, 2010 03:24 PM

Anti rape condom.





Quote:

Dr. Sonnet Ehlers has invented Rape-axe, a female device with jagged hooks that latch onto a man's penis during penetration.

The doctor is distributing 30,000 of these condoms in South Africa during this year's World Cup.
South Africa has one of the highest rape rates in the world, according to Human Rights Watch. It is also believed that 16 percent of the population is living with HIV.

"It hurts," Ehlers told CNN. "He cannot pee and walk when it's on. If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter."

Rape-axe is inserted like a tampon and when embedded to a man the device can only be removed by a doctor.

Fathom Zero Jun 22nd, 2010 03:33 PM

I'm sure a pair of scissors would work, honestly.

Dimnos Jun 22nd, 2010 03:50 PM

Yeah I dont see how its going to "clasp even tighter". Its not a Chinese wang trap.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 22nd, 2010 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 689808)
Click on the text on this site. :eek
http://joebartonwouldliketoapologize.com/

BP, for soaking up all your valuable oil with our worthless pelicans.


:lol

Pentegarn Jun 22nd, 2010 05:49 PM

That anti-rape condom must have been inspired by that teeth in the vagina movie

EDIT: Also, anti-rape is a bit of a misnomer. I would call it more of a rape punishment condom. It doesn't actually prevent unwanted penetration, it merely punishes for it.

Evil Robot Jun 22nd, 2010 09:42 PM

I would think that a man crazy enough to rape a woman would probably just kill her after getting caught in that. Seriously is his first reaction to run away or get enraged?

The Leader Jun 22nd, 2010 09:44 PM

His first reaction is to scream in anguish as several tiny barbs embed themselves into his engorged penis.

Pentegarn Jun 22nd, 2010 09:51 PM

The details of recent discussion make my penis sad (and by that I mean the graphic description of penis injury)

Fathom Zero Jun 22nd, 2010 11:26 PM

I've never been bothered by thoughts of harm coming to my glorious penis.

Dr. Boogie Jun 23rd, 2010 12:34 AM

Wait, is this thing just a condom with barbs inside it?


How's it going to stay open and ready to receive after it's inserted?

Colonel Flagg Jun 23rd, 2010 02:17 AM

I think it's made out of a stiff polymer, like polycarbonate, which is more rigid than latex. (and much more difficult to remove just with scissors.) And, while you might think that the first reaction would be to kill the woman, remember what is actually being stuck by many needles is his schlong - I think the guy's first reaction will be to lie on the ground screaming like a little girl.

kahljorn Jun 23rd, 2010 03:00 AM

i just hope there aren't any accidents/nights of spontaneity.

Fathom Zero Jun 23rd, 2010 03:08 AM



:(

In the future, the barbs contain tranquilizers.

kahljorn Jun 23rd, 2010 03:40 AM

men need a condom that sends a robot hand inside of the womans vagina to disarm the bomb


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