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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Colonel Flagg Sep 25th, 2011 08:21 AM

---> science thread. apologies.

elx Sep 25th, 2011 08:37 AM

<3

k0k0 Sep 25th, 2011 10:44 AM

If they really did send it faster than the speed of light, wouldn't it have arrived before they pushed the button to send it?

Zhukov Sep 25th, 2011 12:05 PM

Exactly. Figure that one out, boffins.

Rongi Sep 25th, 2011 03:17 PM

So I guess we're done with the pram maven thing, huh

Rongi Sep 25th, 2011 03:17 PM

Let's talk about boners

When was the last time you had a boner?

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 03:30 PM

This morning. Boners are funny. Even the word is funny; boner. I also like the word 'penis'. I'm convinced that's the funniest word in the English vocabulary.

Rongi Sep 25th, 2011 03:36 PM

I like to call it a dingus sometimes

P sure I took that from Dr. Steve Brule when he talked about ripping hair from your dick and eating it. He called it a dingus

Anyway I'm about have a boner soon

Pram Maven Sep 25th, 2011 03:42 PM

One time, Portland animator Don Carlson, the namby-pamby pedoSmurf rubbed up against me with someone else's boner. Fucked me the freak out.

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 03:45 PM

Thinking about Steve Brule boners me up sometimes, too.

I have the first four seasons of Tim and Eric on my harddrive here in Afghannyland, and boy do Afghans love it.

They also love 'Big Trouble in Little China' almost as much as I do.

Rongi Sep 25th, 2011 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 743688)

I have the first four seasons of Tim and Eric on my harddrive here in Afghannyland, and boy do Afghans love it.

Are you fucking serious

That is amazing

Rongi Sep 25th, 2011 03:52 PM

I never would have thought Afghans would like T&E

Shyandquietguy Sep 25th, 2011 03:53 PM

So when is Don Carlson going to kill the president?

Any guesses? Is he gonna do it with a cross bow? Or pull string?

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 03:58 PM

Yeah and I'm not talking about the Afghans that speak English and are somewhat Americanized, I'm talking about the tribals who are avid believers in Pashtunwali. The Afghans that pretty much are convinced that we're just the Russian reinforcements.

These are the guys that watch Tim and Eric and laugh their asses off. They may not even get it, and it may just be due to politeness, but man is it a hoot.

Pram Maven Sep 25th, 2011 03:59 PM

In the year 2073, Portland animator Don Carlson will kill the president...by being reincarnated inside of him.

Shyandquietguy Sep 25th, 2011 04:02 PM

Yeah.

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 04:02 PM

It also could be due to the fact that every Afghan smokes dank shit on the reg and therefore things T&E is hilarious.

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 04:03 PM

Hey Shyandquietguy, we never talk. How are you?

Shyandquietguy Sep 25th, 2011 04:06 PM

I'm doin fine. In fact I'm just as flabbergasted as Rongi about the T&E being so popular. Then I read about the dank afganny nugs. :lol

You should introduce them to Mitch Hedburg

PS, No! How are YOU? ;)

Rongi Sep 25th, 2011 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 743696)
It also could be due to the fact that every Afghan smokes dank shit on the reg and therefore things T&E is hilarious.

This is too funny. T&E should do a USO show in Afghanistan

Also tbh when I used to smoke a lot of weed (I quit smokin herb a year and a half ago), I used to find T&E a lot funnier. I still think they're gr8, but the herb made it something transcendentally brilliant

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 04:25 PM

As much as I'd love to introduce them to such great comedy like Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks, I just think that will go over their head. They know the basics of English: Fuck, Shit, Damn etc...but they're more into the physical humor of things. They cracked up when Tim and Eric rubbed brownies all over each other, or when Eric rubbed balloons all up on his crotch and ass area, but didn't get the subtleties of the Innernette humor and skits like that where basic understanding of the English language would be helpful.

But yeah these guys know how to blaze. I don't partake, since I'm in the Army afterall, but I am very much looking forward towards my enlistment ending and moving to Austin TX where I shall squeegee my third eye.

Zhukov Sep 25th, 2011 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 743693)
Yeah and I'm not talking about the Afghans that speak English and are somewhat Americanized, I'm talking about the tribals who are avid believers in Pashtunwali. The Afghans that pretty much are convinced that we're just the Russian reinforcements.

These are the guys that watch Tim and Eric and laugh their asses off. They may not even get it, and it may just be due to politeness, but man is it a hoot.

That's awesome. I don't even like the show that much, but this is hilarious.

k0k0 Sep 25th, 2011 04:47 PM

Fuck T&E Awesome Show. I don't hate it, but don't like it because it's the reason why they stopped doing Tom Goes to the Mayor. And I like that show a hell of a lot more. Another show that is kind of a spin-off that I liked a lot more was "Check it out with Steve Brule". That show was probably 20 times better than tim and eric.

Shyandquietguy Sep 25th, 2011 04:54 PM

Hickman, do they constantly watch Tom and Jerry? PS: I am sorry but I can't think of too many physical oriented humor here. :(

Rongi Sep 25th, 2011 04:54 PM

I never really got into Tom Goes To The Mayor, the art direction always bugged me. It was too ugly looking. Also the general tone of the show just kind of bored me. I've only seen like 4 episodes though.

Check It Out With Steve Brule, I only saw one episode but I thought it was pretty funny

T&E has had some truly magnificent sketches, some of the best things I've seen. If you don't think Celery Man is some next level shit, I don't know what to tell you my man

Rongi Sep 25th, 2011 04:58 PM

Hey Paul, I'm Tayne your latest dancer. And I cant wait to Enter-Tayne you.

k0k0 Sep 25th, 2011 05:05 PM

Yeah, but to see the 10 or so good sketches for tim and eric you also have to sit through 100 awful ones. All 7 episodes of Check it out were awesome though. Everything hit and there was no misses. And I've seen every episode of tom goes to the mayor and the more you see, the more it gets great. There are a few not so great episodes, but other than that, it's fantastic. Tim and Eric can go several episodes without making me really laugh at all though. I have seen every episode of T&E, Tom Goes to the Mayor, and Check it out. Check it out is really the best of all of them followed by mayor and then T&E.

Shyandquietguy Sep 25th, 2011 05:06 PM

I oughta shank you with a pulwar koko.

kahljorn Sep 25th, 2011 05:36 PM

hey guys that crazy desperate for attention suicide bomber rapist was talking to you

didnt you notice

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 743705)
Hickman, do they constantly watch Tom and Jerry? PS: I am sorry but I can't think of too many physical oriented humor here. :(

Bro I highly doubt these fools out here even know what Tom and Jerry is. Seriously, some of these guys didn't even have running water in these tribes of theirs. It's like stepping into a time machine. But I came well-equipped with my laptop and an external hard drive so not only us coalition forces can enjoy western humor, but we can introduce it to our little brown friends.

Pentegarn Sep 25th, 2011 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 743712)
hey guys that crazy desperate for attention suicide bomber rapist was talking to you

didnt you notice

I was looking at entertaining things and must have missed it

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 06:02 PM

It should also be noted that no matter how remote these places are that I go to, all the locals seem to know who John Cena is. It's remarkable.

Esuohlim Sep 25th, 2011 07:32 PM

I just saw k0k0's avatar on weather.com

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 25th, 2011 07:54 PM

:lol I saw him on like cnn or something too once.

Kitsa Sep 25th, 2011 08:28 PM

I now picture KoKo as an old man who is easily exasperated with things.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 25th, 2011 08:30 PM

Hickman, what is your company our platoon or whatever?

Colonel Flagg Sep 25th, 2011 08:40 PM

I'm sure that's confidential information.

If he told us, he'd have to kill us all.

k0k0 Sep 25th, 2011 09:55 PM

Did you see it with the advertisement that went with it, or did you see it as someone's avatar. If you saw it as an avatar, those thieving bitches! If you saw it as an advertisment, I'm a thieving bitch!

Pentegarn Sep 25th, 2011 10:18 PM

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to k0k0 again

Esuohlim Sep 25th, 2011 10:37 PM

It was an ad for LOWERMYBILLS.com, the dude is rolling his eyes because he's tired of paying so much money!

In fact, it's probably the only ad I've seen of its kind with a normal looking person in it. Google image search "lowermybills"

k0k0 Sep 25th, 2011 10:50 PM

Finally. I've been wondering what advertisement it was for since I used a screen cap program and was concentrating more on capturing it before it changed to a different ad. I never really paid attention to the advertisement itself. Finally that annoyingness in the back of my head is solved. Thank you Milhouse backwards.

Esuohlim Sep 25th, 2011 11:28 PM

YOU ARE QUITE WELCOME, K0K0 KHANEL

Kitsa Sep 25th, 2011 11:34 PM

I saw one that was like 20 kokos in a row.

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 743734)
Hickman, what is your company our platoon or whatever?

I'm part of 1/16 infantry out of Fort Riley, Kansas. Alls I can say is my unit's attached to some special ops guys and sometimes it totally kicks butt and other times it totally doesn't. And yes, now I have to kill the internet.

k0k0 Sep 25th, 2011 11:38 PM

A k0nga line of magestic old geezers?

Esuohlim Sep 25th, 2011 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 743761)
And yes, now I have to kill the internet.

:salute

HickMan Sep 25th, 2011 11:47 PM

While making the James Quall face

Sup Milhouse?

Esuohlim Sep 26th, 2011 12:22 AM

Not much man I'm unemployed and feeling pretty useless

Should I join the army and help you fight bad guys?

Esuohlim Sep 26th, 2011 12:53 AM

I thought you had to be a member to download anything from Demonoid

'Cause I'm definitely downloading something anyway

k0k0 Sep 26th, 2011 12:55 AM

You can download a few things a week from demonoid before they stop you. You want a demonoid referral?

Esuohlim Sep 26th, 2011 12:59 AM

do i have to have sex with you :(

k0k0 Sep 26th, 2011 01:03 AM

Nah, thanks for the offer though. It's in your mail.

ThrashO Sep 26th, 2011 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 743783)
Nah, thanks for the offer though. It's in your mail.

(pssst... tell him the sex is my department)

Zhukov Sep 26th, 2011 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 743705)
PS: I am sorry but I can't think of too many physical oriented humor here. :(

Your national sport team of choice nyuk nyuk.

EDIT: Christ, that was fucking late.

Esuohlim Sep 26th, 2011 02:55 AM

lol

kahljorn Sep 26th, 2011 06:21 AM

I've been considering joining the military but then i realized they'd probably frown on my womanly good looks :(

Pentegarn Sep 26th, 2011 07:12 AM

Not anymore they won't, the more feminine the better

HickMan Sep 26th, 2011 08:16 AM

The military's great. I will never regret the time I've spent with my comrades in this shithole of a country. That being said, I don't know how people can make it their career. It's such a simple life...99% of it is showing up at the right place at the right time and in the right uniform. I personally desire more outta life then just that.

It's a good way to mature as a young person. I joined as a nineteen year old douche whose young dumb and full of cum. I'm now twenty-two and I'm still a douche, but a douche with some awesome war stories...and the Post 9/11 GI Bill to boot.

Pentegarn Sep 26th, 2011 08:19 AM

I assume you are still full of cum as well

HickMan Sep 26th, 2011 08:32 AM

I just got off of mid-tour leave about two months ago...so not as bad as one would think.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 26th, 2011 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 743761)
I'm part of 1/16 infantry out of Fort Riley, Kansas. Alls I can say is my unit's attached to some special ops guys and sometimes it totally kicks butt and other times it totally doesn't. And yes, now I have to kill the internet.

My friend is home on leave too but he's based out of Fort Campbell, TN.

HickMan Sep 26th, 2011 05:33 PM

Fort Campbell is actually in Kentucky :themoreyouknow

Leave is great, though. It was easily the best two weeks of my year.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 26th, 2011 07:02 PM

That makes sense then, he said it was right on the borderline but I couldn't remember which state it actually was.

b_squared Sep 26th, 2011 07:34 PM

Nobody called you three days later. That's when you went all drama queen posting about your bloody rectum and how you were going to kill yourself unless we call.

Now sit in the corner and play with your clay.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 07:52 PM


k0k0 Sep 26th, 2011 07:59 PM

Pram, if you didn't hate on mexicans and other races that aren't white so much, maybe you'd be taken seriously.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 08:29 PM

If you're referring to those three posts in Loveline, a mod did that.

Shyandquietguy Sep 26th, 2011 09:37 PM

Yeah of course, just like you did everything else on here as a "character."

Get bent you fucking child molester.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 09:50 PM

Shy, it's not fair to be typecast as something I'm not just because a mod had a problem with me.

Also, where did this child molesting thing come from? You don't make any sense.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 09:52 PM

I didn't do anything here that was particularly bad. If you're going to pick on someone, at least pick on someone who deserves ridicule. I just tell jokes and make animated GIFs.

Pentegarn Sep 26th, 2011 10:09 PM

To be fair we do pick on people who deserve ridicule, and we pick on you cause it is fun :P

k0k0 Sep 26th, 2011 10:15 PM

You're an asshole and a suck up Don Carlson. On top of that, there are rumors of you being a racist pedophile which makes me uncomfortable with your presence. On top of that, you lie. First you say that you are unable to be hired due to a thread here. Then you say you're just kidding about that. Then you threaten the president with rape. It's just one thing after another and all you bring is drama, Pram. And what's this I hear about you poisoning a church choir?

Pentegarn Sep 26th, 2011 10:36 PM

Dammit Pram, I know you think i-mockery is holding your career back but I am going to just flat out say it:

Do you really want to work for a company who would actually take i-mockery.com, and not even the articles, but the forums, seriously?

Would you buy product from a company that said, "I get all my employee background checks done on i-mockery.com"?

You saying the forums have put your career in jeopardy is bullshit and everyone but you knows it.

EDIT: The hilarious thing is some people are probably thinking, "No Pent, telling Pram that will pull the curtain back" But he won't believe me anyway so it doesn't matter :lol

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:06 PM

No, no, I KNOW that!

I just don't want people calling me a racist and a pedophile when I steal peoples' cars and run them over for insurance money. It's not that you're calling me a criminal that bothers me, it's the fact that you're accusing me of the type of crimes I don't do.

For instance, racism: why pick on one or two "minority" races when you can just pick on the white devil? HOME RUN! I'm starting a campaign to hang white people from maple trees. Fucking white people, there's too many of them. And they're lazy, too. When was the last time you ever saw a white person picking berries in the fields? Also, who owns those fields? Whitey does. Doesn't pay his immigrant workers enough, either.

Not only does ol' Paleface screw over all the other races, but he doesn't even know what color he is. He calls himself white. He's PEACH WITH SOME GREEN IN IT.

Also, pedophilia: it would be a lot of WORK to fit a FREAKISHLY LARGE PENIS in a little girl or boy. If I wanted a small hole, I'd fuck a midget with their mouth open. Hell, I'm having a hard enough time getting in fat girls, and they have larger cunts than the skinny ones. My only hope of ever getting laid is meeting a giantess with a 12 inch gash.

Shyandquietguy Sep 26th, 2011 11:10 PM

Not to mention you did the equivilent of shitting in a neighbors backyard and then demand you be best buds with them.

So you admit that you think black people hate whites on the spot?

Way to go captain progressive.

Edit: Why did Pram Maven not feel satisfied with his first sexual encounter?

Because he discovered she had a rape fetish.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:13 PM

Ah, I apologize for those early posts. I was nervous because everyone else was really funny and I was intimidated by their brilliance.

Shyandquietguy Sep 26th, 2011 11:16 PM

No you weren't you fucking manipulative cunt.

This is why my play on him on his first date works.

If you don't get your way you just weasel right on in.

And personally I think that for how long you've ridden this ride without any real improvement would be a nice message to future employers how unstable you are.

Edit: Why did PRam MAven cross the road?

To kill a black person.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:16 PM

I've only raped one person in my entire life: my mom, when I was being born. Raped her with my whole body.

Shyandquietguy Sep 26th, 2011 11:18 PM

So oedipus is your state?

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:20 PM

No, Oregon.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 743966)
My first date was with an old tire. Then I ate a pretzel.

Good boy!

b_squared Sep 26th, 2011 11:27 PM

Last week someone called in a complaint that has not happened yet.
Today they called back and wanted to know what I did about the complaint.
I told him I did nothing, because the problem does not yet exsist.
Then they said "well the least you could do is put the fear of God into them, so they won't do what I say is going to happen.
I told him I will not use an imaginary complaint to harass someone.
I was promptly yelled at and hung up on.

..and today is only Monday

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b_squared (Post 743972)
I told him I will not use an imaginary complaint to harass someone.

That's good advice that Shyandquietguy should take.

Shyandquietguy Sep 26th, 2011 11:31 PM

Why does Pram Maven only have sex with children?

Because that's the only people he can identify with.

Edit: Why does Pram Maven hate Obama?

Because the birther boom finally gave him someone to emphasize with.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:38 PM

Why does Shyandquietguy stay in his house most of the time and post on I-mockery?

Because he is fugly.

ThrashO Sep 26th, 2011 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 743974)
Edit: Why does Pram Maven hate Obama?

Either A: He's not a part of the Aryan race.

Or B: He has full sized adult genitalia.

ThrashO Sep 26th, 2011 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 743976)
Why does Shyandquietguy stay in his house most of the time and post on I-mockery?

Because he is fugly.

Why does Pram Maven come back to I-Mockery like a moth to a bug zapper?

Because we're 100X nicer to him than anyone whose ever met him in person.

Shyandquietguy Sep 26th, 2011 11:41 PM

Why did Pram Maven call Shyandquietguy fat?

I don't know, maybe that's what tedious little faggots do when confronted on the internet in lieu of dodging shit and not owning up to their problems.

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:44 PM

Why are the only racist jokes coming from Shy and Thrash0?

Because they know more than I do.

ThrashO Sep 26th, 2011 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 743983)
Why are the only racist jokes coming from Shy and Thrash0?

Because they know more than I do.

01010000011100100110000101101101001000000111010001 10100001100101001000000111000001101100011000010110 11100010000001101001011100110010000001100111011011 11011010010110111001100111001000000110101001110101 01110011011101000010000001100001011100110010000001 11001101110101011100110111000001100101011000110111 01000110010101100100001000000110000101101100011011 00001000000111011101100101001000000110100001100001 01110110011001010010000001110100011011110010000001 10010001101111001000000110111001101111011101110010 00000110100101110011001000000111010001100001011010 11011001010010000001101111011101010111010000100000 01110100011010000110010100100000011001000110000101 11001001101011011010010110010100100000011011110110 00100110000101101101011000010010000001100001011011 10011001000010000001110111011001010010000001100011 01100001011011100010000001101000011000010111011001 10010100100000011000010110110001101100001000000111 01000110100001100101001000000110001101101000011010 01011011000110010000100000011001100110010101100011 01100101011100110010000001110111011001010010000001 10001101101111011101010110110001100100001000000110 01010111011001100101011100100010000001110111011000 010110111001110100

:conspiracy

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 743978)
Why does Pram Maven come back to I-Mockery like a moth to a bug zapper?

Because we're 100X nicer to him than anyone whose ever met him in person.

Why does Thrash0 have a zero in his name?
Because it reminds him what he is.

Why does Thrash0 have an animated GIF of Dane Cook acting obnoxious?
Because it is his lifelong dream to be as mediocre as him.

ThrashO Sep 26th, 2011 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 743986)
Why does Thrash0 have a zero in his name?
Because it reminds him what he is.

Why does Thrash0 have an animated GIF of Dane Cook acting obnoxious?
Because it is his lifelong dream to be as mediocre as him.

Why does Pram Maven think I have a zero in my name?
Because he's an idiot.

Why does Pram Maven think my avatar is of Dane Cook?
Because he's an idiot.

Why does the child molesting pedophile necrophiliac racist failed-abortion Pram Maven not have any friends?

Spoilers!

b_squared Sep 26th, 2011 11:53 PM

I think a shunning is in order.

ThrashO Sep 26th, 2011 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 743983)
Because they know more than I do.

Not in reference to racism, but just in general overall

Pram Maven Sep 26th, 2011 11:57 PM


b_squared Sep 26th, 2011 11:59 PM

Shyandquietguy would have a valid complaint, because sadly you are real.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 26th, 2011 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 743985)
01010000011100100110000101101101001000000111010001 10100001100101001000000111000001101100011000010110 11100010000001101001011100110010000001100111011011 11011010010110111001100111001000000110101001110101 01110011011101000010000001100001011100110010000001 11001101110101011100110111000001100101011000110111 01000110010101100100001000000110000101101100011011 00001000000111011101100101001000000110100001100001 01110110011001010010000001110100011011110010000001 10010001101111001000000110111001101111011101110010 00000110100101110011001000000111010001100001011010 11011001010010000001101111011101010111010000100000 01110100011010000110010100100000011001000110000101 11001001101011011010010110010100100000011011110110 00100110000101101101011000010010000001100001011011 10011001000010000001110111011001010010000001100011 01100001011011100010000001101000011000010111011001 10010100100000011000010110110001101100001000000111 01000110100001100101001000000110001101101000011010 01011011000110010000100000011001100110010101100011 01100101011100110010000001110111011001010010000001 10001101101111011101010110110001100100001000000110 01010111011001100101011100100010000001110111011000 010110111001110100

:conspiracy

:lol

01001001001000000110110001101001011010110110010101 10010000100000010100000111001001100001011011010010 01110111001100100000011010010110010001100101011000 01001000000110000101100010011011110111010101110100 00100000011000110110111101101110011101100110010101 11001001110100011010010110111001100111001000000110 11110111010101110010001000000110111001101001011001 11011001010111001001101001011000010110111000100000 01101100011011110111001001100100001000000110101101 10100101101110011001110010000001101111011000100110 00010110110101100001001000000110100101101110011101 00011011110010000001100001001000000111001001100001 01110000011001010110011001100101011100110111010000 1000000011001000110000001100010011001000101110

k0k0 Sep 27th, 2011 12:03 AM

I'm just surprised that someone could mistake Charlie for Dane Cook.

Pram Maven Sep 27th, 2011 12:11 AM

Not getting the reference. Charlie?

ThrashO Sep 27th, 2011 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 743997)
I'm just surprised that someone could mistake Charlie for Dane Cook.

Are you surprised? Same guy that this came from:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 743973)
Officer he said he was 18!



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