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-   -   The old folks home (warning, very sexy!) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3975)

SenorSalsa Jun 14th, 2003 04:35 AM

The old folks home (warning, very sexy!)
 
So I was doing this service hour thing for my school right? The deal is that you have to have 10 school hours and 6 comunity hours. So i was planning on serving my community hours by visiting the old folks home where my granny lived. I hung around with some old people 1 on 1 you know? I played the piano for miss ross who was clically insane and was convicted of shooting puppies in the head while she sat in trees at the park. I played with mr. Sweene and he beat me at checkers really badly.
Now it was time to visit granny who is very old in senile. I went to her room ( number 69 BAD OMEN!!!!) and came in with some groceries i had bought for her. She thanked me and i flashed her a big smile. She was watching tv while I put the food away in the kitchen which was adjacent to the tv room. I diddent know what she was watching because she blew her speaker by listning to it full volume a few months ago so all i was hearing was loud feeback and the occasional deep boom noise. So i come into the room and she is watching hardcore german porn! At this point i am totally shocked and horrified. i go "bye granny i have to go" and she asks as i am going out the door. "will you make love to me?"
I am horrified but she starts putting me on a guilt trip like "ever since your grandfather died i havnt had sex, and i am going to die soon of my colon cancer i would really like one more pounding." So after a few minutes of thinking about it i block out my mind and i say "ok fine"
She is wearing an old plad blue dress and a white blouse and her skin on her neck is hanging down to her chest while both eyes look in different directions. Funny. I had never realized how attractive my granny was. I imediatly go down on her and her dress is over my head and her hands are clutching her walker as she is obviously feeling it. So i am licking away and it reminds me of the time i was licking sandpaper for half an hour just to see if i could make my toung bleed. Anyway, i pull the dress off of her and some of her loose skin is rolling down with it, kind of like a ripple in a lake. and i prop her up and start doing her in the butt. I can feel her cancerous tumor against my dick and it causes me to shoot my load inside of her and she is going nuts and clawing at the chair. She starts urinating onto the chair (uncontrolably, i must be good in bed ) and its getting repelled off of the plastic laminated cussions and is landing on my pants which are around my anckles, so i just take them off. Her cancer is on the side of my shaft and i am pumping away still shooting off inside of the old hag when she climaxed. She climaxed a mix of blood, mucus, and sand and it shot out of her vagina and plastered her tv dinner against the wall with a stickey residue. I went nuts and put my dick in her flappy pussy and was having my way with her when my dad walked in! Like a scene out of a cheesy 70's sitcom he walks in the door with his hand still on the knob and the audience is aplauding because he is their favorite character. He dons the famous fez hat and is holding an empty martini glass while staring at me and granny. In his other hand he is holding his trusty pistol. "Matt what are you doing, oh have i caught you at a bad time?" Granny says "No son, why dont you join in, i could use a nice cock like yours in my tookus." I am reminded of my experience on the lawnmower and my family incest has reached a new platou of awesomeness.
Now i am lying on my back, granny is lying on me and my dad is on top fucking her in the butt like a bull or a perverse party clown and he is jizzing away on her back. Dad is putting the pistol in his mouth and sucking it like a cock while granny is sucking on one of the legs of her overturned walker, and i am kissing her on the neck. Her loose skin makes her like one of those squishythings where you squeeze it and it goes back and fourth through the plastic covering making it easy on me and dad to sex her up. I am killing her with my massive hard on when i knotice that she is getting cold. I go "Granny are you sick?" No reply. "granny?" Still no reply. dad says "Oh, she finally died" I say "dad how could you not know she was dying, she was looking right at you!" and thats when i knoticed the gigantic bullet wound in the back of her head. "Dad hahahaha" i said as we both chuckled together at the sight of my grandmothers teeth blown out of her head, and sticking into the wall. "why did you kill granny dad?" and he said "Because it turns me on. Then he pistol whipped me in the nose, pulled out of grannys corpse and left the room. I finished granny off and then picked the teeth and hair off the wall and put them in the garbage. As i walked out i felt like a new man, i love my family!

Jixby Phillips Jun 14th, 2003 04:44 AM

warning, very sexy!

Esuohlim Jun 14th, 2003 11:42 AM

Re: The old folks home (warning, very sexy!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SenorSalsa
Like a scene out of a cheesy 70's sitcom he walks in the door with his hand still on the knob and the audience is aplauding because he is their favorite character.

OMG HOW DID THIS ONE BYPASS THE CENSORS???

SenorSalsa Jun 14th, 2003 12:59 PM

Bribary my friend. Brye- which is the frut. and berry which is the other fruit.

Wang Jun 30th, 2003 09:23 PM

what did u do 2 ur dad later? cuz he did gunwhip u u know? arent u gonna get him?

Cap'n Crunch Jul 2nd, 2003 04:53 AM

Wang wants to know more. He has a hard on, and he doesn't want it to subside.

BTW, my name is Matt.

Wang Jul 28th, 2003 11:39 PM

:fu no

Esuohlim Jul 28th, 2003 11:48 PM

DEAR WANG: YOU'RE TOUGH ON THE INTERNET WANG

Cap'n Crunch Jul 29th, 2003 12:01 AM

Wow, only 26 days later. Impressive.

Spectre X Jul 29th, 2003 02:50 PM

Salsa, in your lawnmower adventure, didn't your dad and mom die or something? Oh well.

EDIT: Almost forgot:

MY EYES!!! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!

Wang Aug 8th, 2003 01:18 AM

maybe they respawned like kenny.

if you say one more mentally retarded joke about my usaname and u will "DIE!!" heh

Esuohlim Aug 8th, 2003 04:49 AM

DEAR WANG: :fu NO WANG

Wang Aug 10th, 2003 11:40 PM

shut the hell up!










bitch

Sam Aug 10th, 2003 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wang
note: make sure ur posts have at leats some importance. not just a load of crap


Wang Aug 10th, 2003 11:55 PM

i have a right 2 reply he insulted me. sniff* im telling!

Esuohlim Aug 11th, 2003 12:17 AM

DEAR WANG: I'M MERELY INSULTING YOUR INTELLIGENCE, WHICH YOU DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE YET DUE TO THE AMOUNT OF BRAINLESS REPLIES I RECEIVE FROM YOU WANG

Wang Aug 11th, 2003 11:03 PM

you cant exactly talk about dumb replies urself u know. i didnt know what stupid was until i heard your insults retard

Esuohlim Aug 12th, 2003 09:38 PM

YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT STUPID WAS? OMG

sadie Aug 13th, 2003 02:47 AM

i dub this the fruity thread.

UtterParadox Aug 28th, 2003 03:31 PM

:puke :x :suicide

My reaction to that story, in order of occurance.

Sam Aug 28th, 2003 03:34 PM

DEAR WANG: PLEASE COME BACK AND POST MORE WANG.

soundtest Aug 28th, 2003 05:56 PM

I miss Wang :tear

I also propose the :fu emoticon be changed to :wang

Les Waste Sep 4th, 2003 11:58 AM

Wang CHUNG


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