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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Tadao Oct 22nd, 2013 11:50 PM

I delete all mine in case one of you mods tries to peek. ;)

executioneer Oct 23rd, 2013 06:14 AM

i had to delete all of mine because my inbox got all full because I wasnt a mod anymore and my limit went down to 50 D=

lucky there's a thing to export all your PMs to a text file :x

executioneer Oct 23rd, 2013 06:16 AM


Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 768333)
I delete all mine in case one of you mods tries to peek. ;)

also im p. sure mods can't look at ur PM folder that is kind of the point????:confused::confused::confused:

Tadao Oct 23rd, 2013 11:07 AM

Oh, Ok. ;)

kahljorn Oct 23rd, 2013 11:25 PM

hey can somebody download this book called fun home off of thepiratebay and e-mail me a copy of it? csophxwt@gmail.com

my only internet is school internet :(

executioneer Oct 23rd, 2013 11:55 PM


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 768354)
hey can somebody download this book called fun home off of thepiratebay and e-mail me a copy of it? csophxwt@gmail.com

my only internet is school internet :(

is it the comic book by bechdel?????

executioneer Oct 24th, 2013 12:08 AM

because if it is i sent you a email!!!!

kahljorn Oct 24th, 2013 12:30 AM


thanks yo u just saved my life

HickMan Oct 24th, 2013 01:29 AM

That was a pretty swell thing to do there, willie.

Why can't internet people be more like willie?

Esuohlim Oct 24th, 2013 09:32 PM

kahl how about I download books I think you should read instead like bible.pdf >:

executioneer Oct 24th, 2013 11:45 PM

milhouse i think you need to learn to hate the sin and love the sinner >:

LordSappington Oct 25th, 2013 03:49 PM

I don't have the money or plans to do anything on Halloween this year. I may just make a hookah out of a pumpkin, put on a gas mask, and throw a tv outside so I can watch scary movies, smoke, and hand out candy.

Tadao Oct 25th, 2013 04:16 PM

why don't you just make a hookah out of a gas mask and go as a fag?

Tadao Oct 25th, 2013 04:16 PM

sry :(

executioneer Oct 25th, 2013 05:13 PM


Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 768375)
I don't have the money or plans to do anything on Halloween this year. I may just make a hookah out of a pumpkin, put on a gas mask, and throw a tv outside so I can watch scary movies, smoke, and hand out candy.

i have p. much the same problem :( i might go do halloweenish stuff with my sister this weekend, idk. i have no costume idea and zero dollars to make one if I did :(

LordSappington Oct 25th, 2013 07:05 PM

The woes of being lazy, broke, and with a complete lack of creativity

cavemanbabe Oct 26th, 2013 01:45 PM

Consider living in a country that doesn't celebrate Halloween, it's hell. I'm moving to make 2014's Halloween better though!

Kitsa Oct 26th, 2013 01:57 PM

My kid wanted to be a jellyfish this year because she loves jellyfish. So I was thinking, uh, okay, we can do this. I got a clear pink umbrella and hung a pink hoop inside to offset the tentacles, which I made out of pink ruffly ribbon with fish tangled up in it here and there. It didn't look bad, if I say so myself. When I made it, I googled "jellyfish costume" and the only real picture of one was two women at a festival or something in jellyfish hats.

So I took her to an amusement park and she won 2nd place, which was a big backpack full of amusement park stuff and very cool. So I'm thinking, ok, we did all right with this one, apparently it does look like a jellyfish.

Then a woman in big bee-glasses came up to me and started talking about how the costume is on pinterest and she knew I'd found it on pinterest. I didn't find it on pinterest. I've grown to hate pinterest for precisely this reason- there are no original ideas anymore. But apparently it looked like something that was on pinterest.

Today we were in a costume parade and there was another jellyfish. Not done the exact same way, but similar. So I guess other people must have come up with the same idea at the same time or something.

To be fair, my kid was carrying an empty jumbo tub of Jif as her trick or treat bucket because she decided she should be a peanut butter and jellyfish. Some people got that, some didn't.

I fucking hate Pinterest.

Tadao Oct 26th, 2013 02:56 PM

I hate bitches who like to hear the sound of their own voice. Do bad you didn't electrify the stingers and have your daughter light her up. "DID THEY HAVE THAT ON PINTREST CUNT?"

Tadao Oct 26th, 2013 02:57 PM

Oooooooo battery leds of the pinkish nature glued to the inside and the tentacles could look cool.

Kitsa Oct 26th, 2013 03:14 PM

I have glow-in-the-dark pink necklaces for the gonads (that's what the loops on the top of moon jellies are, fwiw) and I was going to tie some up and down the tentacles with pink thread. I didn't do it today because it wasn't dark enough to make a difference.

BTW, "Pinterest Cunt" should be a new genre of person.

dextire Oct 26th, 2013 03:20 PM

Was her kid in the costume competition or did just want to insult your creativity?
Hey, the stinger comes in pink to match the costume! :halloween2

Pink LEDs or EL wire would look really cool.

Kitsa Oct 26th, 2013 03:46 PM

I don't remember if her kid was in the contest. There were so many, because it's basically a large amusement park full of kids all lined up, not divided into age groups or anything. I think nowadays people just assume you can't come up with an idea by yourself- if it looks cool or original, it must have come from Pinterest. I don't know where the hell the stuff on Pinterest is supposed to have come from.

I do know that last year we did the same contest (also took second, my daughter was in a chicken suit with red spots as chicken pox and her treat bucket was a giant bottle of calamine lotion) and there were like 50 or 60 Meridas. And the mom in front of us was telling her daughter that she would win because she had the OFFICIAL bow, the OFFICIAL wig, the OFFICIAL Disney dress, etc. And of course none of the Meridas won. Nothing like that could win because when they say "And first place is Merida, let's have Merida come on up!", fifty kids would head for the stage.

The kid who won first place deserved it. He was in a black trenchcoat with a giant bloodshot eyeball mask, and a fedora on top. He was a private eye.

The three prizes were amusement park backpacks filled with stuffed toys, hats, small souvenirs.

Tadao Oct 26th, 2013 03:48 PM

I'm sad he didn't go as a private dick. :(

Kitsa Oct 26th, 2013 03:51 PM

Probably wouldn't have flown at Planet Snoopy, but you could probably swing a private dick at a party.

Tadao Oct 26th, 2013 04:58 PM

Dress you kid as a birth control pack with a day accidentally skipped.

Kitsa Oct 26th, 2013 08:39 PM

Frightening to some.

To tell you the truth, I don't like costume contests. My grandmother and mom used to enter me into them and those costumes got ridiculous. I always won first place or grand prize, but I did it trying to balance a giant chickenwire cabbage patch kid head on my scrawny broken neck. I hate that parents are trying to tell kids they have a shot at winning a contest dressed in a boxed costume that is identical to fifty other kids'. Too much stress to be fun, and too much stress constantly trying to come up with something original. I think next year if I haven't thought of something amazing that my kid likes, or if my kid hasn't thought of something amazing that I can reasonably execute, I'm going to say fuck it and let her assemble whatever.

Phoenix Gamma Nov 1st, 2013 02:43 PM

I went to a Halloween party last night as Big Boss. Grew my hair out and a beard and bought some camo and everything.

I showed up to the party and only 4 other people were in costume. I brought a sack of candy and some beer and nobody ate/drank any of it. Everyone was just sitting around watching a shitty internet stream of the Bruins game and nobody was really talking. 45 minutes in I realized I wasn't going to have any fun so I left. The one person I knew was the host, who I didn't see until I was making my way to the door to leave. Then I walked 10 minutes back to my car in costume because there's no on street parking in that neighborhood. I didn't even have dinner cause I thought there would be food at the party. I would have stopped by some fast food place but my face paint wasn't wiping off and I already felt dumb.

Also I left my candy and beer at the party and I hate Halloween it's dumb :(

King Hadas Nov 1st, 2013 04:59 PM

When you left everyone went, "Snake? SNAAAAAAKEEE!"

Kitsa Nov 1st, 2013 07:49 PM

Last time I went to a costume party, the host was only hosting it as a means to seduce someone at work. He invited those of us he could count on to attend and bring food, and we were just sort of background. Then the person he was after seemed underwhelmed and left with someone else. I was pretty much through with things after that.

The first one I went to at his house was cool though.

We had an evening of rain and tornadoes. There was a lot of trying to get my kid from house to house and a bunch of teenaged asshats shoving little kids out of the way to run up to the startled oldpeople and grab handfuls of candy as they bent over with the bowl. Times like that you need a fucking cattle prod.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 3rd, 2013 11:32 AM

Halloween sucks when its on a Thursday. We went out the weekend before to different bars. Like 30 people dressed up total between 5 different bars..

Tadao Nov 3rd, 2013 02:00 PM

That's the only day when it's nice to live near West Hollywood.

Babs Nov 6th, 2013 12:08 AM

I voted for Tadao today. Miss you dude.

executioneer Nov 6th, 2013 11:12 AM


Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 768496)
Halloween sucks when its on a Thursday. We went out the weekend before to different bars. Like 30 people dressed up total between 5 different bars..

it sucks pretty hard on tuesdays and wednesdays, too. nobody knows which weekend to shift their getting costuming up to >:

Babs Nov 6th, 2013 05:30 PM

So when did you come back? Missed you too.

executioneer Nov 7th, 2013 05:33 AM

like couple weeks ago idk

HickMan Nov 7th, 2013 04:06 PM

Halloween Day is at best disappointing for me every year since about 2009. The season is what makes Halloween so much fun, not the day itself.

Being a door guy and having to deny Dr. Seuss, Bob Ross, some girl from Alabama, and a slew of others at the door isn't as cool as it sounds.

I love being in the Halloween spirt, watching scary movies, eating candy and drinking pumpkin ales and stouts...but that's about it.

Drunk and ignorant people ruined this holiday for me.

Aaarg Nov 11th, 2013 01:02 PM

collected a few of these during a field trip to the sc coast last weekend. pretty.

Babs Nov 11th, 2013 10:03 PM


Babs Nov 11th, 2013 10:18 PM


Babs Nov 11th, 2013 10:18 PM


Aaarg Nov 13th, 2013 10:55 AM

that's not a fat ass!

Kitsa Nov 17th, 2013 08:20 AM

Nope, pretty lean. Very nice :)

Tadao Nov 18th, 2013 12:41 PM

If I sign up for SS can I be guaranteed Thanos?

Tadao Nov 18th, 2013 02:53 PM

also next year you might want to up it to 50 dollar gifts.

executioneer Nov 18th, 2013 08:28 PM

why the hell is my sig broken all of a sudden :/

executioneer Nov 18th, 2013 08:35 PM

well then

Tadao Nov 19th, 2013 10:51 AM

someone ran a game on you

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 20th, 2013 11:47 AM

The shame

captain516 Nov 20th, 2013 07:55 PM


Mockery Nov 28th, 2013 03:46 PM

Happy Turkey Day, all!

Aaarg Dec 1st, 2013 04:07 PM


Esuohlim Dec 1st, 2013 11:53 PM

oh good, time to change my avatar haha

MarioRPG Dec 3rd, 2013 06:35 PM

You've remembered to change your avatar, but did you ever get around to watching Twin Peaks, Esuohlim?

Kitsa Dec 4th, 2013 10:57 PM

I'm sure he hasn't called his mom.

Babs Dec 5th, 2013 03:15 AM


Aaarg Dec 6th, 2013 10:26 AM

"i'm looking forward to the final. it'll make up for that last test."
"what did you get on the last one?"
"101, but it didn't feel good."

fuck grades and fuck people who base everything in education on grades (EVERYBODY). what good is a high score if you aren't comfortable with the information? FUCK.

14 yrs later and still nobody understands me !!!!! :emoteen

Babs Dec 7th, 2013 01:54 AM

try pharmacy school

Esuohlim Dec 7th, 2013 06:02 PM


Originally Posted by Babs (Post 768812)


Babs Dec 8th, 2013 02:16 AM


Esuohlim Dec 8th, 2013 11:15 PM

this is the truth

Tadao Dec 8th, 2013 11:42 PM

the fuck, where is UCLA and USC :(

Guitar Woman Dec 10th, 2013 03:21 AM

Oh, god, like 12 new posts since my last visit, half a year ago? What the fuck happened?

Remember when this place was the best forum on the internet? Remember when some dickweed said I'd be sitting here toothless years from then telling everyone in a half-crazed drug stupor that this "used to be the best forum on the internet?" Shithead called it, didn't he?

Tadao Dec 10th, 2013 12:12 PM

yeah but to be fair, you say that every 3rd post.

captain516 Dec 10th, 2013 12:51 PM

When I joined, the I-mockery community was still somewhat thriving

and I took it all for granted

Aaarg Dec 10th, 2013 01:58 PM

are you toothless, gw?

Tadao Dec 10th, 2013 02:17 PM

he's from Portland

Esuohlim Dec 10th, 2013 10:57 PM

Nobody cares about message boards anymore. "This was the best forum on the internet" will be the equivalent to "These were the best buttons at the haberdashery!" It's like fuck off gramps I'm trying to tweet here

MarioRPG Dec 11th, 2013 09:03 AM

If you can't say it in 140 characters or less then I don't even want to read it

Babs Dec 13th, 2013 01:34 AM

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 13th, 2013 08:06 PM

I want to go to the compass rose bowl. Make them play foosball on the high sea.

captain516 Dec 13th, 2013 11:46 PM

Man. hot chocolate with liquor is fucking delish.

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 14th, 2013 04:22 PM

not as good as coffee and rum

liquidstatik Dec 15th, 2013 11:43 PM


Babs Dec 16th, 2013 02:27 AM

what? what the fuck is a doug blog? does this entail having an extra 21st chromosome?

liquidstatik Dec 16th, 2013 03:34 PM


Tadao Dec 16th, 2013 06:05 PM

I tried to find the blog last night and was very sad to find out that Milhouse is a racist. :(

Tadao Dec 16th, 2013 06:06 PM


Esuohlim Dec 16th, 2013 10:04 PM


liquidstatik Dec 17th, 2013 04:04 AM


Tadao Dec 17th, 2013 06:41 PM

Who gave Thanos broken candy canes for Christmas? lol

Kitsa Dec 17th, 2013 07:45 PM

I still don't know what the fuck is going on in liquidstatik's avatar after all this time, but it looks like Anna Faris is trying to protect someone from him

Esuohlim Dec 17th, 2013 08:23 PM


Originally Posted by liquidstatik (Post 768916)

I don't think so! :(

Tadao Dec 17th, 2013 08:50 PM

Everyone knows that Doug was a racist show.

liquidstatik Dec 17th, 2013 11:30 PM


Kitsa Dec 21st, 2013 08:39 AM

I vaguely remember that movie. I used to have an old, old copy of the novel somewhere. All I remember about the movie is a bunch of naked boys crawling around.

I'm almost to 9000 posts. WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 22nd, 2013 09:35 PM


Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 768930)
Who gave Thanos broken candy canes for Christmas? lol


Aaarg Dec 24th, 2013 12:46 PM

i can't get off work to visit family and my girlfriend has left to visit hers, so i'm alone for christmas. before she left, she gave me the gift she bought for both of us. a 700-some page book about insects. awesome.

Tadao Dec 24th, 2013 01:51 PM

spider porn

Aaarg Dec 24th, 2013 02:59 PM

spiders aren't insects IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!

there is a chapter about arachnids tho

i mean we've got books full of drawings of spider body parts you didn't even know existed so if that's your thing i could get you some scans bro !

Tadao Dec 24th, 2013 05:40 PM

Exactly, they eat them. Thus Spider porn.

Tadao Dec 24th, 2013 05:42 PM

Fucking 8 leggers :rolleyes

Aaarg Dec 24th, 2013 06:16 PM

oh porn for spiders

dunno man i don't consider cookbooks and food magazines (food magazines are a thing, right?) to be human porn so whatEVER don't roll your eye at me!!

also spiders are sometimes the prey!
the larvae of these guys hitch a ride on a spider until it spins an egg sac. then it gets inside the egg sac, eats all the eggs, pupates, and becomes a badass adult.

all i talk about is bugs because i don't like anything else!

Tadao Dec 24th, 2013 06:37 PM

I like to hang out in the woods and jerk off to boy scout roasting marshmallows. You know because marshmallows are like boobs.

Aaarg Dec 24th, 2013 07:02 PM

last month i went on a field trip and some f*gs brought stuff to make s'mores and it was all just sitting on a table near the fire and i emerged from the woods with the other "cool kids" who went out night collecting

and then i took a bunch of chocolate bars because fuck the rest

gimme the chocolate

Tadao Dec 27th, 2013 10:58 PM

Aaarg Dec 29th, 2013 08:31 PM

today somebody went to give me her business card, but she didn't have any on hand so she gave me somebody else's with her name and email scribbled on it.

not, like, a colleague or anything. just a random business card. and it had stuff printed on the back, so it's not like it had a blank side.

my life is boring.

Kitsa Dec 31st, 2013 01:26 PM

Someone needs to get on vistaprint or so the commercials tell me.

I got scotch, paintbrushes and a biography of charles manson for Christmas. Oh, and the flu or something like it. I've basically been sick as fuck since Thanksgiving.

Kitsa Jan 1st, 2014 10:27 AM

So here's my glorious 9000th post. What the hell did I ever write 9000 posts about? fuck.

Babs Jan 1st, 2014 07:01 PM

Kitsa, I had a dream the other night you were shitting in a sink.

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