I call my penis a mini mockmeat.

Kitsa, the next time you go to the theatre and one of those buzzes you, throw your popcorn at it and scream "Fucking Capitalists!"

one of what now?

I swear that's not the first time that he's called you out for something you never talked about kitsa. And there's no way to really tell what would buzz you in a theater.

The mall train.

Eh.

I don't think the train was buzzing me so much as it was just a phenomenally stupid and bad idea, piloted by people who don't give a shit. I was in what had become the wrong place at the wrong time. I'd be more likely to jump on it and yell ALL ABOARD THE BAD IDEA TRAIN, TOOT-TOOT, HOPE YOU DON'T NEED YOUR SHINS BECAUSE I GOTS MY METAL COW-CATCHER AND I'M ROUNDING THE BEND OUTSIDE PAYLESS SHOE SOURCE, TOOT TOOT

I wonder if that train has a tracker on it. Because I could see someone deciding to just up and steal it. I'd personally just like to take it and go for a joyride around the mall.

Eh my ass, Kitsa.

You know you want to don a frock, break the conductors teeth with an iron and drag him out.

I would go on a joy rampage. I hate crimmas at the mall. People are all in my way.

And they walk really fucking slow, like they can't read the signs well enough so they have to stare at each one as they move their fat elephant legs to take another step forward. I hate the mall so much.

And the giant freaking Christmas trees halving the floor space don't really help much, either.

well i'm already naked i think my work is done come on boy

I'm back home now and reformatted my computer. We can synch the tubes now.

HEY. PERSONAL STORY TIME.

So i've had alot of trouble sleeping lately, mainly because of my ex, so the best way for me to go to sleep is to put on a TV show or some stand up comedy and fall asleep to it.

I don't use music though, no matter what it is it's just too depressing.

Anyways, I was watching Steven King's Rose Red last night, never seen it before, and it's 4 hours long. At about 30 minutes I realize how tired I am and decide to fall asleep to it.

Anyways I dont put a sleep timer on and it's just screaming and ghosts and haunted house and terror for about 3 and a half hours and It's affecting my dreams the whole time. I had some of the most terrifying anf vivid nightmares last night and it was almost on a level of lucid dreaming.

Really fucking weird shit. I was completely exhausted from the whole day and fell asleep around 9pm though, I wouldn't try to force this if you're not tired.

long story short - PARTY WITH YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE STARS IN A DREAM!! My only regret is that I didn't do this while stoned.

stony crung

the other morning i was half-awake and battling the snooze button for my girlfriend which basically means i hit snooze until she gets up and then i can go back to sleep ANYWAY during this time i was having a dream about rolling up a katamari and she said something to me and i almost said "no, the katamari's not big enough yet." but i caught myself.

phew.


also if you're super sad you should listen to sad music to sleep to. on vinyl. then see how many times you have to get up and hit the play button again (obviously you wouldn't have the heart enough to put forth the effort of flipping the record).

and that's the story of how i listened to the first half of tom waits' small change seven times in a row.

Reminds me when my roommate and I would play everquest on his computer. I didn't have one at the time, so we'd play in 12 hour shifts. I'd go to sleep for 12 hours, he'd wake me up when it was my turn to play everquest and then I'd play for 12 hours and he'd sleep. Several times he'd wake me up while I was dreaming of everquest and I'd say something stupid about a 'train to zone' or 'needing to get aggro'.

Side one of Unknown Pleasures for me. The creaky beginning of Insight scares me awake most times.

one time i fell asleep listening to a clockwork orange (not the soundtrack, but the wendy/walter carlos album of the moog music used in the movie) and the very last song is weird and the end of it has rain/thunder sounds and the music is just super dark moog stuff and the song slowly fades away and then you just have the thunderstorm and a super electronic heavily distorted "i'm singin'... just singin'... in the rain" and the tune from the song comes in

anyway the first time i heard that part of the album was when i woke up to it. scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha

My daughter turns on HSN (home shopping network) when she can't sleep. It puts her to sleep every time.

I cant remember if I scratched my face then masturbated or if I masturbated THEN scratched my face but they're both pretty itchy right now

i think somebody stole 20 bucks from me but I'm not positive :(

kinda want to say something ;/

set them up for thievery. that's how I caught a bitch at work one time.

i rarely see them ;/ it was my sister and her boyfriend.
She let him into my room i guess because it used to be her room so its ok or some shit. fucking people.
im kinda mad cause she said all she did was look at a photo album, but my computer was turned on and my money pile was disturbed.

i didnt even see them this time i justhad 120 dollars in cash in my room (i thought). Now I only have 100. Its possible when i counted it i counted it then took a 20 out, but i thought i did it the other way and counted it after i took a 20 out.

steal some of her shit.

whether they took it or not, just steal her shit.

I was a member of the

:lol That's awesome

That is not good :(

AKA :MILHOUSESIGNAL

MY WEEN SENSES ARE TINGLING

hey milhouse

synchtube thursday

we do this

So in Ohio today, an election worker bit a voter's nose in an altercation over a campaign sign. Srsly, wtf is wrong with people.

I welcome the end of the voting season here as people will now STFU for a short while. Yesterday we got a recorded message from Daniel Baldwin, but I don't know what for. "I'm Daniel Baldwin, and-" *click*

That's classic penguin voting technique. Was the election worker danny devito?

NEVER FORGET 11/9

The video game threads make me sad. I haven't really cared about video games in a long long time and it makes me jealous. :(

The only video games I like are ones I played before, and whenever I try new ones I have to force myself to get into it and it never works >: MOTHER 3 >: >:

mother 3 is ok but it's definitely not as good as people make it out to be

i think nerds just like it because nerds like video games that make them cry because apparently people cry at video games? weird.

maybe you just aren't into video games anymore, panda bear :O

I always thought it was schoolwork and stress that kept me from being interested in the last six years, but I've literally had fuck-all to do for the last seven months so that clearly isn't the case :(

I'm at the part in Mother 3 where I kind of stopped playing last time, the Oshoe castle. I'm going to keep going, but the problem I'm having with it is the constant hand-holding. There are times in Earthbound where you have no fucking clue what to do and that kind of stuff is fun for me because it makes you feel better when you figure it out. In Mother 3 it's all "Go here next. Now go here. Do this. Here, I'll mark it on the map for you." and it's fucking boring.

RPGs of the 90s were way more fun :(

I think there is word that Final Fantasy 15 is going to be retro style. If so then my boner is justified.

yeah mother 3 is super linear and that's super boring.

guys i think i just asked a girl on a date and i think she just said yes

THE WORLD'S GOING TO END

sweet hopefully she's not a serial killer and neither are you - otherwise there may be troubles

wtf son

omg but what if we both were, then it'd be a match made in murder heaven

invite her back to your murder castle

what if shes a rapper

oof i gotta clear the severed limbs out of the sink

i mean raper

thatd probably be pretty cool with me 8-)

thatd probably be pretty cool with me 8-)

tell maria bamford I said hi

hahahaha thats not who it is :x its a girl i met at pony meetings

did she have a ponytail :x haha :x :x good luck willie! :eek

Is that one of those buttplugs with the horse hair coming out of the other end? Gross.

Fuck man, this pony thing is like scary magic

thanks man now i just have to somehow turn into a not-monster before saturday :x :x :x

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

:(

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...ustice%20boner

:HIGHFIVE

Good luck Willie. Just remember that these people that like all the pony crap are fucking idiots, and it might end badly.

should i try to get her into roller derby instead :(

If that is what you call your bed then yes.

Congrats Willie! :eek

And if she gets nervous and asks "will it hurt?" Just say you've done it a hundred times "In your dreams!" And then wink at her! :wink

um what exactly is supposed to hurt

Angry fire rape!

A girl with a pony tail ain't gonna feel any pain. She's already got that thing in her butt.

nobody's putting a thing in anyone's butt

:lol

So have you got a plan? Dinner?

goin to my fav el salvadorean place + maybe karaoke

Then after that, your place.

Don't be sleazy and push it too fast. You move too fast and this girl could gallop away. Unless she pushes it. If she pushes it, then go for it.

Yeah, I guess, but don't look a gift horse in the mouth, because you could end up marrying this filly.

dont... um... horses

:)

Don't try and bridle her if she's a wild one. She may only be looking for fun. If that's the case and you want more, you'll probably just want to give her a kiss on the muzzle, a pat on the rump and then call it a night. Otherwise, all systems are go for pleasure.

TODAY THIS gIRL STARED AT ME FOR LIKE tWO MINUtES AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.

THANK YOU KAHL FOR STOPPING THESE PONY PUNS.

THEY WEREN'T STABLE

im so sorry

guys i get enough equine puns already from the turkeys in the fandom

rein them in

SOMEHOW FEELS RELATED

a little too wacky

sorry i've been on a real bad lip reading kick lately :(

That's not a pickle.

I gotta work at 8am til about 5, then go to my second job til about 11 and I can't sleep. I said fuck it and I'm staying up and relying on coffee and 5 hour energies tomorrow.

who thinks this is the best idea.

also after work tomorrow night im doing an hour and a half of horrible yoga. probly gonna scratch that.

If you can't sleep you can't sleep, sounds less like a choice and more like a mean reality.

You can't skip Yoga though. If you skip Yoga, how will you ever achieve Yoga Flame?

fuck i already bought my skull pendants too :tear

sometimes I do that more than once a week for months at a time :(

i always think "ill just stay up and go to bed early tomorrow! yeah i'll be so tired that i'll just pass right out and get my whole sleep schedule back on track!"

last time I did this I got off work the following night and stayed up til 5am playing Quake.

Not even like a recent Quake. Just Quake 1.

try taking 1-3 mg of melatonin about 1/2 hour before you want to go to sleep, sometimes that can help

or lay off the caffeine if you can

Whenever I get my hours fucked nothing I do ever fixes them and then they eventually go back to normal for no reason I can understand.

One time for like a week I'd go to bed at 4 or 6 in the morning and then wake up exactly at one pm, everytime. One day I said fuck this, no more NO MORE and stayed up all night and day. I went to bed at eleven pm, and then slept fourteen hours straight and woke up at one again.

sleep is gay :(

My 7am alarm goes off, scaring the shit out of me and interrupting my game of quake, and my first yawn of the day kicks in.

OBOY.

I missed all the my little punnies >:

shut your mouth and take a seat 'cause after all you're just talking meat

I woke up with a piece of my tooth missing, and I don't even get to have a cool story about it, like being stupid drunk. Fuck teeth

cool story bro

Gotta go to a horse farm this Saturday because of a writing project for college. :\

Are you studying gambling?