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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 12:09 AM

Paris Hilton can not be mentioned in here until she dies, I think.

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 12:13 AM

Can i rap? about Jerry Seinfeld?

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 12:15 AM

Yes, until he dies & then he MUST NEVER BE SPOKEN OF AGAIN! :eek

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 12:21 AM

ok... agreed. a bit of prelude however...

One time a couple of years ago, a friend invited me to a
comedy club. i had the day off, and my friend offered to buy
the ticket... i had some laundry to do, but after being told
that Jerry Seinfeld was going to be there i said, " what
laundry?". i mean, i really liked the series he did but
never saw him live so i was intrigued.
we get to the club way early. we sit and have a couple
drinks. then i have a couple more. then 5 more after that.
by the time Jerry comes on, i'm plowed and obnoxious.
so, jerry goes into his routine and... it was good stuff,
but i was heckling BAD! finishing the jokes, screaming
punchlines, yelling "YOU SUCKKKKK!!!". jerry's face is
fastly growing beet red!
finally, after 20 minutes, he screams "You think you can
do this?!? Step up here!" i yell "FUCK YOU!!!! you couldn't
joke yer way out of a paper bag!"

Jerry goes nuts and threatens to fight me.... i say
"violence is for dumbass dickheads with no balls... you
wanna go against me? YOU GOTTA RAP BATTLE!!!!"
and that's what happened... jerry did do a smashing job...
but he only yelled Run DMC, Public Enemy, and some old NWA.
impressive, but not enough
.
i slapped the mic out of his hand and bellowed,
"HEYYYYYYYYYYYY_OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! RAP! RAP! (and points to
self) CRAP! CRAP! (points to Jerry)RAP! RAP! CRAP! CRAP!
RAP! RAP! CRAP! CRAP! RAP! RAP! CRAP! CRAP! RAP! RAP! CRAP!
CRAP!

Stooge! you spooge!
When ya see a donkey... you stupid honkey!
Hee-Haw is too smart for you!
Yeah, raise that fist, whatcha gonna do?
You want some crowbar? i got my Kevlar!
Could call you bitch but that's too good!
Smack you in the nuts with a piece of wood!
Jump! Jump! Hear that skull break!
Cherry Jerry don't own this place!
Foot in yo' ass, a piece of glass,
Make yo' existance a thing of the past!
Punch yo'throat and break that nose!
Beat yo' corpse with a rubber hose!
Draw a moustache on rotten body!
WITH MY BRAND NEW, SHIT-BROWN SHARPIE!!!
Kick on back, drink juice and gin!
Resurrect you and do it again!
Pull out dick and put it back in!
No, i'm not gonna fuck you, friend!
Yell and yell and slap the moon!
Then go home and watch cartoons!
Scooby-Doo and SuperFriends!
Then i kick yo'nuts again!
Whine and piss, complain to Kramer!
Could yo' rap be any lamer?
Rub that bruise on yo' nuts!
Break a foot off in yo' butt!
Throwing down with my skill verbal!
WHAT ELSE YOU THINK RHYME WITH PURPLE?
I see you sulking, my dad from Vulcan
And i drive Millenium Falcon!
Yeah, that's right, i do the Mindmeld!
Whatcha gonna do now, Jerry Seinfeld?

skhoozen

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 12:29 AM

GW taught me a bit of slang that would apply to JS's rap post, but I'm not going to use it as I think it's something from 4chan.

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 12:31 AM

I wrote it a couple of years ago, when i thought rap was all about violence.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 12:36 AM

I have never written anything I've considered worth remembering for more than a month. :( :talent

Tadao Jan 29th, 2008 12:43 AM

Paris Hilton

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 12:44 AM

write it down... an old friend and i used to carry notebooks around all the time. when he and i would get together, it was crazy babble improv fest, but we'd be in a coffee house/bar being loud, talking crazy, then yelling at each other "WRITE THAT DOWN!"

If you don't, the good stuff fades away from memory

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 528360)
Paris Hilton

Funny, keep it up. That was like the only thing I said since you last posted.

Dr. Boogie Jan 29th, 2008 12:53 AM

Zomboid has been warned not to follow gw around, but this time it was gw who started things. End of story. The next person who mentions this, whether it be zomboid, gw, or anyone else just commenting on the situation, gets a day off from the boards.

I'll going to leave these bickering posts in the thread for a few hours, but then I'm moving them to Pub's Bottomless Chat thread.


Now then, how that game No More Heroes?

Guitar Woman Jan 29th, 2008 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 528350)
GW taught me a bit of slang that would apply to JS's rap post, but I'm not going to use it as I think it's something from 4chan.

what

Guitar Woman Jan 29th, 2008 01:17 AM

when have I been INSTRUCTING you in internet slang, mister

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:18 AM

ALL NIGHT LONG, BABY! :love

TL;DR

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:19 AM

HOLY SHIT! TADAO WAS RIGHT, PARIS HILTON JUST DIED! :eek

Next up on my death list: Madonna.

Tadao Jan 29th, 2008 01:22 AM

Don't tease.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:23 AM

No, but SERIOUSLY! :eek

Tadao Jan 29th, 2008 01:27 AM

Asteroid still hasn't killed us.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:30 AM

With 0.0% chance of impact?

SURPRISE!


Hey Florida, I hope you're all voting for Giuliani. ;(

Sacks Jan 29th, 2008 01:30 AM

Gjurd Solveig

Sacks Jan 29th, 2008 01:33 AM

Billiam Bodecker

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 01:47 AM

don't blame me, i voted for ray q smuckles

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:51 AM

My mental map of the US must be upside down & backwards.

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 02:08 AM

i do not understand

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 02:14 AM

I didn't think you could live further from Florida without living next door to me.

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 02:17 AM

this is true, and i am glad of it

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 528306)
IIf you open this thread & don't post, YOU ARE COMMITTING A CRIME!

I'm gonna have to revoke this at some point because it's annoying me more than it's helping. :(

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 02:35 AM

rules are made to be broke :(

saizo_ogasawara Jan 29th, 2008 03:15 AM

Mine's Gilbert Delbert Nelbert Robert Manuel Daniel Porfirio Rahab Edwards!

DuFresne Jan 29th, 2008 04:19 AM

look out, forums! we've got one whack, crazy guy here! XD lol

Esuohlim Jan 29th, 2008 10:19 AM



IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT

Esuohlim Jan 29th, 2008 11:06 AM



:eek

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 11:19 AM

I thought you were going to make a gif of Seinfeld as jason bourne or something

Esuohlim Jan 29th, 2008 11:27 AM

I never said such nonsense >:

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 528322)
I've been trying for like half an hour to make a flippy Seinfeld image about this BUT FUCK ME >:

I'll give someone a shiny dubloon if they give me a link to a GIF maker that doesn't suck

ALSO CRIME >:

yer right, my imagination ran away with me

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 11:41 AM

esuohlim,

what gif maker are you currently using? I've never made one but have been wanting to see what i can make for some time.

Esuohlim Jan 29th, 2008 12:16 PM

I got something called Ulead GIF Animator that's only good for a 15 day free trial. GIF Movie Gear is even better with a 30-day trial, but I used that up long ago :(

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 12:18 PM

Dick Larger

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 12:24 PM

I can make animated GIF images with my completley legal copy of photoshop, but there is no point in me trying.


& by completley legal I mean CR*MES! :eek

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 12:30 PM

I currently use a freeware program called PAINT.NET. I haven't even bothered to check if I can make gifs with it yet. try it out... if you think it sucks, it didn't cost anything (i should have gone into marketing)

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 528450)
& by completley legal I mean CR*MES! :eek

Cremes are ok, i guess. i don't like sweets much anymore, though, and dairy product make more congested than i already am

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 12:39 PM

VEGAN CR*MES ARE NEITHER SWEET NOR DAIRY! :eek

THEY ARE ALSO NOT NICE! >:

DON"T BE A VEGAN, KIDS! :(

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 12:40 PM

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS:

DON'T BE VEGAN KIDS! >:

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 12:49 PM

That's right, Pub! If God wanted you to only eat Plants and Beans and Dirt, HE wouldn't have given you CANINE TEETH.

"My molars are destroyed from a lack of tree bark. Hey! Let's eat that pig!"
- THE Goddamn bible

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:05 PM

Pandas have no Religion.

This week's Art Shit Event Word is Spiral.

Just the other day while drawing on Seth's Facebook Graffiti wall, I did a little thing of him in a limbo-esque oblivion where he still felt all his lifetime woes while to a side the intangible spiral of God permeated everything.

I doubt this influenced MLE's choice, but if it had & if she had only looked at what I drew for Willie instead, I'd be thinking about giant beards right now & not the degradation of the soul.

Yeah, I know that doesn't happen with coeternalism, sorry.

Sacks Jan 29th, 2008 01:22 PM

Harry Max

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 01:24 PM

so we're done with heath ledger jokes?

who died this week?

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 01:26 PM

christian slater

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 01:31 PM

Never heard of him

So what do ya get when you cross a donkey with a slice of Bermuda onion?

Spoilers!

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:36 PM

What is a Bermuda Onion?

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 01:39 PM

a type of onion grown in Bermuda i guess. i don't know how they differ from red, yellow, white, green or pearl onions, though.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wikipaedia
The Bermuda onion was first harvested in Texas in 1898, with seeds imported from Bermuda. The first harvest was sent primarily to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where they were very well received, prompting Texas to increase the area used for growing the onion. The three main breeds grown in Texas around the turn of the century were the Yellow Bermuda, the White Bermuda, and the Crystal Wax.

Hmm, Texas. :robbierotton

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 01:45 PM

checking wikipedia, bermuda onions was redirected to "sweet onions", so called as they have a lower sulphur content than most and are "sweeter" (or some shit). They were first grown in texas in 1898 with seeds imported from Bermuda and blah blah. It's a goddamn onion.

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 01:47 PM

not to say all onions look alike or anything

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 01:48 PM


Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 01:57 PM

Thanks JS, now I have added reason to want this page overwith. GROSS! :x

Plus you're a huge Onion Racist! :eek

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 02:14 PM

just because i thought an onion was from Bermuda, when it was actually from Texas doesn't make me a racist, after all, its dad was from Bermuda. I was merely mistaken. :\

JediScum Jan 29th, 2008 02:18 PM

OK (sighs)...

What do you get when you cross a donkey with a slice of TEXAS onion?

Spoilers!


and I think I know how to work the spoiler function now.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 02:27 PM

[08:22] BroosterTCogburn: god damn unreliable scociety destroying meteors
[08:25] PublicPubLoather: Yeah?
[08:25] BroosterTCogburn: ya
[08:25] PublicPubLoather: I mean, what?
[08:25] BroosterTCogburn: damn thing was supposed to spankthe planet and end modern society
[08:25] PublicPubLoather: Not really
[08:26] PublicPubLoather: 0.0% chance of impact
[08:26] BroosterTCogburn: oh god did you go to that tu24.org?
[08:26] PublicPubLoather: GW is my bitch.
[08:26] BroosterTCogburn: those guys were fucking retarted
[08:26] BroosterTCogburn: they were all dispooven about a year ago
[08:26] PublicPubLoather: Retarded.

Guitar Woman Jan 29th, 2008 02:40 PM

lol, do you not have the heart to block him either :<

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 02:49 PM

I never block anyone. I leave that for them to do to me.

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 03:04 PM

walla walla sweet onions are better than bermuda onions >:

MLE Jan 29th, 2008 03:07 PM

i like vidalia onions :posh

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 03:28 PM

I'm surprised at all the Onion segregation that is going on in here. I like all Onions.

However, I don't know how I would react if my child dated one.

Chojin Jan 29th, 2008 03:55 PM

who is broosterTcogburn? seven force?

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 03:59 PM

It's not Seven Force. GW, who is BroosterTCogburn?

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 04:04 PM

arrowx

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 04:05 PM

whoops there i go butting in again :lol

liquidstatik Jan 29th, 2008 04:06 PM

eew

liquidstatik Jan 29th, 2008 04:07 PM

arrowx :x

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:11 PM

That isn't a ridiculous word. :(

Chojin Jan 29th, 2008 04:11 PM

someone should tell me what his new board account is

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:12 PM

This one.

Chojin Jan 29th, 2008 04:25 PM

I thought you moved out of NZ, pub?

MarioRPG Jan 29th, 2008 04:26 PM

I like how the people using the spoiler tags are just the annoying ones.

Chojin Jan 29th, 2008 04:32 PM

Well, the IP he used when he took over Rongi's been banned, as well as his alt Killer Wail. Let's hope that does it for now.

saltshakermaniac Jan 29th, 2008 04:33 PM

I feel all left out, i have no idea about what is going on

executioneer Jan 29th, 2008 04:34 PM

whys arrowx banned again, was it the rongi dilbert porn thing

MLE Jan 29th, 2008 04:35 PM

arrowx was never supposed to be unbanned, actually.

Moobs Jan 29th, 2008 04:36 PM

just wrote 5 pages on the woman's suffrage was a bore :x

Fathom Zero Jan 29th, 2008 04:44 PM

Just walked home 25 blocks from school. Have windburn all over my face.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:44 PM

Page Break?
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 528522)
I thought you moved out of NZ, pub?

I vacationed in the UK for a year is all.

saltshakermaniac Jan 29th, 2008 04:45 PM



I get the weird feeling that if i stare at this long enough i will go insane

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:47 PM

Join Date: Nov 20th, 2007? Alright.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:54 PM

Oh man, I hope my post saying caressive isn't a ridiculous word didn't derail the Neologism thread too much before it was deleted.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:55 PM

Deleted?

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:56 PM

:rolleyes

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:56 PM

Come on guys, you have to post too, or we won't make it to the next page & save my post. :(

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:57 PM

BECAUSE NONE OF THE MODS READ MORE THAN THE LAST PAGE OF THIS THREAD.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 04:58 PM

It helps when trying to get away with CRIMES! :eek

MLE Jan 29th, 2008 04:59 PM

I don't see your response. I thought eric posted that in the Made-up words thread.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 05:03 PM

He did. I said it wasn't ridiculous. At least I think I did. OK, maybe that was one of the many things I decided not to say.

NEVERMIND GUYS, FALSE ALARM. ;(

Chojin Jan 29th, 2008 05:08 PM

you did, and I moved that comment to this thread

Chojin Jan 29th, 2008 05:12 PM

so I had a question and I guess I'll ask you EXPERTS:

I picked up emily's cold and I'm getting really tired. In response, I'm drinking a lot of energy drinks.

Is getting tired the body's reaction to help it fight the cold virus, or is it the cold virus being a penis

Emu Jan 29th, 2008 05:13 PM

I usually get tired because I'm not taking in enough oxygen and what energy I do have I spend coughing. :(

MetalMilitia Jan 29th, 2008 05:17 PM

I made you a get-well .gif Chojin:



Hope this helps

Dr. Boogie Jan 29th, 2008 05:25 PM

I usually get really tired whenever I catch a cold.

Pub Lover Jan 29th, 2008 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 528556)
you did, and I moved that comment to this thread

Can I get that for my every post?

Emu Jan 29th, 2008 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 528559)
I made you a get-well .gif Chojin:



Hope this helps

Make the black part transparent and let's turn it into an emoticon! :fatcat

MetalMilitia Jan 29th, 2008 05:46 PM



I think it's safe to say you can never have too many dancing emotes.


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