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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

executioneer Jul 6th, 2011 04:22 AM

:(

Fathom Zero Jul 6th, 2011 04:23 AM

All I can seem to do is drive people away with neediness, so I'm better off without. And only marginally better, yet I can't see any other way around it.

I want to do so many things, and even though I'm afraid to fail, I'm even more frightened that I'll succeed. I hate it when I see people that like me so much when I hate myself so much every second.

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:23 AM

Fucker immediately told me I had ADD as soon as I walked into his office. I told him about getting burnout, then he laughed and condescendingly informed me that it wasn't. Repeatedly ried to tell him that drinking is the only thing that stops the brain and makes me feel better, that sometimes I have to pull over to the side of the road because things don't seem real at the moment and it probably isn't safe to drive.

He cut me off. He kept. cutting. me. off. It's his fucking job to listen, and he won't let me get a word in edgewise. Then he tells me to take the "techniques" I use at work and apply them to other areas of my life, so I won't be disorganized. 'Cause THAT'S my fucking problem. I have ADD, after all. Just ADD. Won't hear of any other symptoms. Then he tells me that I'm an adult and have to make adult decisions, gives me a prescription and bullrushes me out of his office.

I ho[pe that one of his patients is a paranoid schizophrenic that he's diagnosing as an aspergers case, and the schizo shoots him

executioneer Jul 6th, 2011 04:25 AM

ADD? REALLY?

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:26 AM

Every single doctor, every single psychiatrist, deserves to kill themselves out of despair. If you're not easily diagnosed, they have no goddamn interest in helping you. And it's fucking frustrating, because you function quite well, and no one else knows, but it would just make shit a lot easier if they'd quit jumping to conclusions and help you like they're god damn well supposed to and maybe you wouldn't be tired all the time

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:27 AM

EVERY ONE OF THESE GUYS SAYS I HAVE ADD. THEY DON'T LISTEN. THEY DON'T LISTEN TO A SINGLE FUCKING THING I SAY, EVER SINCE I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. I GIVE UP, HANDLE SHIT MYSELF, THEN A FAMILY MEMBER FINALLY TALKS ME INTO GOING TO A NEW ONE AND THEY'RE EXACTLY THE GODDAMN SAME, THEY'RE FUCKING WORTHLESS HUMAN BEINGS WITH NO INTEREST IN HELPING YOU

executioneer Jul 6th, 2011 04:29 AM

it sounds more like bipolar disorder to me, dude

what with it being cycles of depression and mania and all

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:30 AM

I don't even qualify. The informal test, with 15 symptoms that you need to score 8 out of to have ADDI or ADHD? My entire life, I've scored 6 on ADDI and 3 on ADHD.


THAT MEANS I HAVE THE FUCKING SYMPTOMS, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE THE DISORDER. BUT FUCK IT, WE'LL TREAT YOU ANYWAY! HERE'S A PILL COCKTAIL! COME BACK IN TWO WEEKS! IF IT DOESN'T WORK, WE'LL GIVE YOU MORE! WE'LL GIVE YOU DIFFERENT ONES! WE'LL KEEP FUCKING DOING IT AND TAKE YOUR MONEY WITHOUT EVER, EVER, EVER, RECONSIDERING OUR DIAGNOSIS OR PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU SAY YOUR PROBLEMS ARE

Fathom Zero Jul 6th, 2011 04:32 AM

I'm glad I'm a functional depressive. I don't even want to think about taking mood altering drugs. I believe it's perfectly rational for the things that bum me out to bum me out. I never want to feel good when I know that things that are wrong are still wrong. I don't want to feel good about bad things.

It's always good to have a chi hammer at the ready.

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:33 AM

I dunno. It feels more anxious than sorrowful or manic. Sometimes things get REALLY unreal and it's like I'm looking out through my eyes via some long tunnel, like in a dream, and I know that I'm going to fight to keep my life from being a sickly pit of disease and death. And I do fight, and I get over it, and I get back to normal through effort. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to spin back into normalcy if had bipolr

executioneer Jul 6th, 2011 04:33 AM

that's part of the reason i rarely if ever go to the doctor's, too

they don't listen

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:34 AM

Fck, I need more drink. THink I have maker's mark still. Nice and friendly

executioneer Jul 6th, 2011 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 730135)
I dunno. It feels more anxious than sorrowful or manic. Sometimes things get REALLY unreal and it's like I'm looking out through my eyes via some long tunnel, like in a dream, and I know that I'm going to fight to keep my life from being a sickly pit of disease and death. And I do fight, and I get over it, and I get back to normal through effort. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to spin back into normalcy if had bipolr

some sort of anxiety disorder, maybe? those aren't like panic attacks are they

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:36 AM

Fuck em all



I mean, I understand that cpeople going to the shrink's aren't going to be objectively reliable as narrators of their own lives, but you think they would at least pay fucking attention to SOMETHING other than skimming for and hearing key words like "disorganized" and making a full diagnosis based on them

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:37 AM

No, I've never had a panic attack. It's hollow instead, yawning and opening up into nothing



You just spend a few days working to feel something again b getting pissed, then you calm yourself down and you're your normal self again

ThrashO Jul 6th, 2011 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 730131)
EVERY ONE OF THESE GUYS SAYS I HAVE ADD. THEY DON'T LISTEN. THEY DON'T LISTEN TO A SINGLE FUCKING THING I SAY, EVER SINCE I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. I GIVE UP, HANDLE SHIT MYSELF, THEN A FAMILY MEMBER FINALLY TALKS ME INTO GOING TO A NEW ONE AND THEY'RE EXACTLY THE GODDAMN SAME, THEY'RE FUCKING WORTHLESS HUMAN BEINGS WITH NO INTEREST IN HELPING YOU

Same here, when I was a kid my doctor told my mom all kinds of shit about ADD and it made her cry, it pissed me off. Let's see I was 7, I played Megaman X all day, hated homework and was a spaz.

IS IT ADD!? OR IS IT CALLED BEING FUCKING 7.

Gus, shrinks are dick wipes who think they're perfect and since being so believe they can judge other people and tell them what's wrong. My dad took me to one when I was 15 just to be a smart ass, and I remember the guy trying to tell me that highschool was the most important thing in my life and I need to focus all this energy that I put into my videogames into it.

Well I skipped, smoked weed, fingered bitches, never studied SHIT and I really just goofed off the whole time. And I made C's and D's, it was a joke. You should've seen my desk in English 4, I used to draw all over that and when my pen ran out of ink I just carved into it with the ball point. My desk was a big black piece of shit. My teacher came over and looked at me and my friends and said "You know what, FUCK IT (Yeah, he said fuck :x), You dumbasses can just do whatever the hell you want." So I said "Sweet" and did a somersault.

ADD isn't shit. The world is just too fucking boring for us Gus.

Fathom Zero Jul 6th, 2011 04:39 AM

I was a diagnosed depressive, and I felt that it was spot on of the woman to tell me so. I say 'was' because the diagnosis is probably far worse now.

But I am content at this point, even though I've only become so in the past three or so months. I got rid of fucking shithead friends, shied away from people that I'm not so friendly with, realized myself for about the second time in my life, and found actual, feasible goals.

Goals are the greatest thing ever, the shorter the better so you don't lose them to your mind and they get mired by anxiety and things like that. I'd never have done or been able to do anything like I've done in the past year by sitting on my ass in therapist's office.

The one thing I'd ever tell you to do is ditch the fucking squares. Even if it leaves you with nobody.

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:39 AM

"lol I fucking killed this conversation, didn't I? Everyone just wanted to hear about the asian guy and I go off. whatever, I'll stumble on it in the morning and be properly imbarrassed

Fathom Zero Jul 6th, 2011 04:41 AM

There's nothing the mentally ill love to do more than talk about themselves, so don't worry about it. Fuck it.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 730137)
THink I have maker's mark still. Nice and friendly

:gigh

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:41 AM

Oh no no, my friends are cool, I'm just bitter because they need a break when I'm just getting started :lol

executioneer Jul 6th, 2011 04:41 AM

well i wanted to hear you be mad at ponies some more but now i'm not so sure it's a good idea

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:42 AM

They've BEEN partying the whole school year, and I haven't been able to join. Now they want to chill and hang out and talk when I'm ready to haul ass out after work and enjoy the summer :lo;:lol:lol:lol

Fathom Zero Jul 6th, 2011 04:42 AM


Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:42 AM

FUCK THE PONIES



Ratirety;s' cool, but fuck the rest of them

Grislygus Jul 6th, 2011 04:44 AM

dylan, what the hell is that game


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