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-   -   'You're like a brother to me' (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69702769)

LordSappington Aug 18th, 2009 01:51 PM

'You're like a brother to me'
 
Does anyone else have this terrible curse? :(

Tadao Aug 18th, 2009 02:07 PM

Again? I think you maybe telling them too much about yourself too quick. Next time let them talk about themselves for a few weeks, and then once a week tell them something personnel about yourself.

LordSappington Aug 18th, 2009 02:11 PM

Oh, no. I've known this girl for months. We're really good friends. Maybe that was my fail from the beginning.

Esuohlim Aug 18th, 2009 02:16 PM

YOU HAVE TO SAY "DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE SOMETIME?" BEFORE THIS IS SAID

IT'S NOT THAT HARD

So I'm told :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 18th, 2009 04:14 PM

My sister is actually not related to me at all. I just think of her like my sister. It works out great as long as you don't like each other. It's a lot easier to explain to people than super platonic buddies. You get instant access to all of her friends too.

My advice to you is if you're already in the friend zone get a crush on one of her friends.

And work it.

And work it.

executioneer Aug 18th, 2009 04:22 PM

the correct response to "you're like a brother to me" is "how do you feel about incest ;) ;) ;)"

Dimnos Aug 18th, 2009 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 642708)
My advice to you is if you're already in the friend zone get a crush on one of her friends.

And work it.

And work it.


Very wise this one. very wise indeed. :bow

Tadao Aug 18th, 2009 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 642711)
the correct response to "you're like a brother to me" is "how do you feel about incest ;) ;) ;)"

Oh man, I can't tell you enough how awesome you are Willie! :love

Colonel Flagg Aug 18th, 2009 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 642711)
the correct response to "you're like a brother to me" is "how do you feel about incest ;) ;) ;)"

How about "So, then, is a blowjob out of the question?"

MattJack Aug 19th, 2009 12:08 AM

Once you are in the Friend Zone... You're fucked. The only way out of it is if she wants revenge on her BF.

LordSappington Aug 19th, 2009 12:15 AM

I will find a way. I must.
And yet, the only thing I can think of is smearing her name on my chest with pig blood, while burning a heart in her yard.

Dimnos Aug 19th, 2009 11:00 AM

Take nude photos of yourself and leave them in her pantie drawer.

elx Aug 19th, 2009 11:58 AM

how come you dont just tell her how you feel?

VaporTrailx1 Aug 19th, 2009 12:03 PM

MattJack is 100% correct. He even pointed out the only possible way to escape it.

Dixie Aug 19th, 2009 12:18 PM

unless she's a slut, then she'll eventually sleep with you anyways

Dixie Aug 19th, 2009 12:22 PM

but i can't remember how ugly/annoying you are at the moment. those things have bearing on such decisions.

Zhukov Aug 19th, 2009 01:14 PM

If you keep winding up in the friend zone then you're obviously doing something wrong.

You're probably a nice guy to be around, friendly, funny etc but maybe you're not being intimate enough. You create the relationship that you end up with, so you have to focus on doing things that a brother most certainly wouldn't do. If you're not in a relationship, then at least try to turn conversations around from joking and laughing about cool stuff to SEX.

If you've been friends for ages and you want to change things, well good luck. Above advice stands, but it will be HARD SLOGGING AHEAD.

LordSappington Aug 19th, 2009 01:51 PM

elx, sometimes it isn't that easy. Especially when you're a coward like me.
So, basically I need to do stuff brothers don't do, outside of Alabama. Seems.... possible.

elx Aug 19th, 2009 02:17 PM

telling her directly is the easiest way to get past this and the most sensible approach.
if you just want to get laid then whatever, play games, but if you really like this girl then you shouldn't be willing to risk losing any chance at a relationship with her just because you were too afraid to be honest.

Dimnos Aug 19th, 2009 02:44 PM

Is that how it worked for that one kid who liked you who your mom set you up on a date with? He told you what he wanted and now you happily plan your future together?

Dixie Aug 19th, 2009 05:45 PM

Time for straight up bitch truth, half the time when we say things like "You're like a brother to me" it means "Not if you were the last guy on earth".

MattJack Aug 19th, 2009 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie (Post 642923)
Time for straight up bitch truth, half the time when we say things like "You're like a brother to me" it means "Not if you were the last guy on earth".


Yeah that's true. Women say a bunch of nice things that just translate into "you're unfuckable."

You're like a brother to me.

I don't want to complicate our friendship.

I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship.

I just got out of a relationship.

I only have sex with guys I'm in a serious relationship with.

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't want to get hurt.

You dated one of my friends.

I just have a really busy schedule right now. Between school, work, and taking care of my church obligations it wouldn't work.

I'm on my period.

I'm ovulating.

I have diarrhea.

I have a track infection.

The anti-depressants I'm on makes me give a shit about sex.

"Just the tip" doesn't work for me. I told you I gave up sex for lent.

I'm tired.

I just woke up.

I'm too drunk.

I have to be somewhere in the morning.

I don't like the way those condoms feel.

I don't have sex without condoms.

I have a feeling you don't know anything about Ass-To-Mouth.

I had a bad experience recently.

How could we in this car? It's only a coup.

I came here to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, pervert.

No hablo ingles.

My little sister is staying the night.

My friend is staying the night.

I'm staying the night with my little sister and her friend.

I had sex with your brother and that would just be weird for me.

I'm not into white guys.

I'm not into guys.

My mother doesn't like you.

My father doesn't like you.

I promised God I'd wait til I'm married.

I have to watch out for my friend at this party.

I'm not over my ex.

I'm kind of already talking to somebody right now.

You've been my neighbor my whole life.

You live too far across town. We'd never see each other.

I want a guy who knows what he wants and has a career.

I'm not ready for somebody who already has his life planned out.

You're really funny and you make me laugh all the time, and you're a really good guy. You even know who my favorite band is, what my favorite flavor of ice cream is, why I like using Dove soap the best, and what Harry Potter book I liked the most. You even remembered my birthday and gave me that sweet card that had a super cute inside joke that only two people on the planet would know, and it made me giggle. It made me giggle like the times you would make those silly faces in the lunch cafeteria when ANDRIA would walk past us. Oh remember her?! Man she was so slutty! I couldn't believe she thought her hair looked cute Junior year! Hahaha I know right! Anyways, as a matter of fact you are the sweetest guy I've ever met. You're my best friend and I LUV U SSOOOOOOO MUCH. You're just like a brother to me though. Hold on. Can I call you back? Bobby is texting me. He's asking me to pick him up from the bar because he got too drunk again, but this time he can't drive home due to that wreck he had that made him lose his job. We have to eat at his mother's tomorrow morning. I'll call you Monday! Promise!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lord Sappington I know you've heard at least half of these, hell, lord knows I have. Probably most dudes on this message board too. However, don't let them deter you for what you came to get.

God invented perseverance, being an asshole, and Cosmopolitans for a reason, son.

Now go take what's yours and get to curlin' them toes.

:imock

Dimnos Aug 19th, 2009 08:50 PM

Your so cute!

I have a bad hip.

I dont like body hair.

I like a man with lots of body hair.

You have a strange smell.

You dont have good teeth.

I have the herps.

I hear you have the herps.

I once helped take care of a guy with down syndrome that looked a lot like you and that would just be weird.

LordSappington Aug 19th, 2009 09:15 PM

I think I've thought of a plan.
In our group of friends, hugs are the norm; when we leave, we hug goodbye. When we run into each other, there's a hello hug. You get the point.
One time, one of our friends kind of gave her a half-hearted hug, and she immediately noticed it, and worried about it afterwards (inb4 teenage drama).
So, what if I just start to half ignore her? Like, skimp out on her hug, pal around with the other girls a little more, stuff like that.
Win? Lose? Can you tell I'm new at this? :(

elx Aug 19th, 2009 09:20 PM

what are you, 15?


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