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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 06:49 PM

:pagebrak

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babs (Post 713497)
It's only been like 3 years, are you sure I'm ready for this? I don't even know if I'm ready.

Hey Babs, you're pretty cute. Why don't you show me your penis? :eek

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babs (Post 713498)
I remember you posting your picture and then someone immediately stating your name was very appropriate due to your physique. I THOUGHT THAT WAS FUCKING RUDE.

Some people think being told they have a big cock is a good thing. :eek

Babs Feb 19th, 2011 06:53 PM

You always have dicks on the mind huh?

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 07:01 PM

Mind/Mouth. Same thing. :yum

Fathom Zero Feb 19th, 2011 07:03 PM

I dream of your teeth on my cock.

elx Feb 19th, 2011 07:04 PM

oh hi rankeri

Babs Feb 19th, 2011 07:07 PM

What about my teeth?

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 713496)
Once i posted a picture of myself and Chojin called me Andre as in "The Giant"


Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 07:23 PM

I think I see what Chojin meant. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 713505)
I dream of your teeth on my cock.

Is that a fetish? :eek

Big McLargehuge Feb 19th, 2011 07:23 PM

:eek

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 07:24 PM

Misshapen British teeth blow jobs? :eek

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babs (Post 713508)
What about my teeth?

Dylan won't be into them if you got nice ones. :eek

Babs Feb 19th, 2011 07:43 PM

That's pretty shallow.

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 713522)

Please, let us get back on topic.

Lazier as I'm drunker & heartbrokener. :eek

Fathom Zero Feb 19th, 2011 08:28 PM

I've gone on holiday by mistake.

Big McLargehuge Feb 19th, 2011 08:31 PM

I better hurry up and take that picture off the Internet :( people might do things with it :eek.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 19th, 2011 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 713471)
Tadaooadat@yahoo works fine.

'sup fin


I can't fucking find it now >:

Zhukov Feb 19th, 2011 08:58 PM

So I've had four debilitating migraines in the past week. I haven't been able to go to work and they told me that my hours are going to be severely cut. This is the same reason that I got fired from my last job (that I actually liked).

I've suffered chronic migraines all my life but it was only once a fortnight or so previously, now it's every few days.

What do people think are my chances of appealing to the government for welfare?

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 713537)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 713522)

Please, let us get back on topic.


..

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 713536)
I thought we were all supposed to be dicks to each other.

No! We're supposed to send our dicks to each other. :eek

Grislygus Feb 19th, 2011 10:06 PM

:lol

it's been so long since someone's gotten pissed off

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 713540)
I've suffered chronic migraines all my life but it was only once a fortnight or so previously, now it's every few days.

They're not migraines. They are ice cream headaches. Stop scoffing down all the 99s and you'll be right as rain. :eek

Spoilers!

Kitsa Feb 19th, 2011 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 713540)
So I've had four debilitating migraines in the past week. I haven't been able to go to work and they told me that my hours are going to be severely cut. This is the same reason that I got fired from my last job (that I actually liked).

I've suffered chronic migraines all my life but it was only once a fortnight or so previously, now it's every few days.

What do people think are my chances of appealing to the government for welfare?


I know nothing about your government, but might as well give it a try. The migraines are obviously affecting your work.

Do it ASAP while that reporter's incident with a stroke-like migraine is still fresh in everyone's head.

I hate migraines, especially the debilitating ones. Do you get the sparkly crescents before them too? I see one of those and know the day's going to be shot for me.

Pub Lover Feb 19th, 2011 10:30 PM

:pagebrak

Phoenix Gamma Feb 20th, 2011 12:24 AM

This week was my first week at my new job, at Bose.

MOST. BALLINEST. JOB. EVER.

Tadao Feb 20th, 2011 12:48 AM

Sounds hellla better than your last one. Even though I forget what it was.

Pub Lover Feb 20th, 2011 12:51 AM

I think he was some clerk at a game? store and got fired for using a gift certificate he found on the floor. :eek

Fathom Zero Feb 20th, 2011 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 713553)
Sounds hellla better than your last one.

I couldn't tell if that was a joke or not.

Fathom Zero Feb 20th, 2011 03:04 AM

I beat the Akinator. Woohoo.

Tadao Feb 20th, 2011 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 713555)
I couldn't tell if that was a joke or not.

Nah, I couldn't remember. I only remembered that he was screwed over.

:(

Fathom Zero Feb 20th, 2011 03:34 AM

Coz he's working for Bose. It sounds better.

Tadao Feb 20th, 2011 04:04 AM

Oh :lol

Too funny.

BTW, one of my brothers works for L-Acoustics. Sometimes he gets free concert tickets. I hope the same goes for you Gama.

Zhukov Feb 20th, 2011 05:49 AM

I thought you must be joking since you used the phrase 'hella'.

LordSappington Feb 20th, 2011 10:28 AM

My manager scheduled me for 40 hours each week, apparently forgetting that I'm part-time and have college to take care of. FUCK THE SYSTEM GUYS, I'M A WORKING CLASS WARRIOR

LordSappington Feb 20th, 2011 10:29 AM


RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! AM I RIGHT?

Tadao Feb 20th, 2011 11:55 AM

Yeah, that's why I never bothered to hire part time students. I needed people who wanted to work.

Pub Lover Feb 20th, 2011 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Hadas (Post 713579)
The way Elx took down those pictures is reminding me of how James left us.

Be careful, my lord. Miss Elx issued a fatwa against Dylan for suggesting her edit button be taken away. :eek

MLE Feb 20th, 2011 05:02 PM

I think everyone's edit buttons should be taken away.

Fathom Zero Feb 20th, 2011 05:03 PM

I'm just like Salman Rushdie.

King Hadas Feb 20th, 2011 05:10 PM

Dear Gentle Jesus, please don't take away my edit button. I need it.

EDIT: See! I needed to edit that last sentence because a period after button is more effective than a ridiculous comma. probably

Pub Lover Feb 20th, 2011 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 713583)
I think everyone's edit buttons should be taken away.

I was in favour of this long before I lost my own in that terrible accident. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 20th, 2011 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 713584)
I'm just like Salman Rushdie.

A short, balding hobbit with an unreasonably attractive wife? :eek

Fathom Zero Feb 20th, 2011 05:27 PM



Why do people make sweaters out of these things?

MLE Feb 20th, 2011 05:28 PM

Because it's soft, and harvesting it doesn't hurt the rabbit. :themoreyouknow

Fathom Zero Feb 20th, 2011 05:53 PM

Yay, new Avalanches album closer to completion.

Pub Lover Feb 20th, 2011 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 713589)


Pub, this is for you, honey <3

Yay. Looking good. You weren't kidding about the hair. Nicely done. :love

Kitsa Feb 20th, 2011 07:01 PM

For a moment before the headset thing registered, I thought that was a length of coax cable over her shoulder.

Pub Lover Feb 20th, 2011 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltraCowPig (Post 713600)

I hope to hear more about you hating penguins, 95% of the high school you go to, preps, baseball, and more. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 20th, 2011 09:04 PM

:pagebrak

Sam Feb 20th, 2011 10:00 PM

HEY GUYS, WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON? :picklehat

Grislygus Feb 21st, 2011 12:41 AM

NOTHING REALLY

SAME MINOR BULLSHIT




DID YOU EVER GET THAT DAMN THING I SENT YA

Grislygus Feb 21st, 2011 12:41 AM

ON A RELATED NOTE, WE NEED A PURPLE HIPPO EMOTICON

executioneer Feb 21st, 2011 12:47 AM

we don't

Esuohlim Feb 21st, 2011 02:28 AM

It's the hour of the lurking spambot :x

There's a couple signed in that were already banned two months ago. Weird

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 21st, 2011 10:32 AM

ITs probably like those raptors in jurassic park. testing the fences.

Tadao Feb 21st, 2011 03:41 PM

I say everyone loses their edit every march in honor of those who have fallen.

Pub Lover Feb 21st, 2011 07:53 PM

Freaking earthquakes. I'm still not dead though. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 21st, 2011 09:05 PM

Hey Tom, you know how you were all "no one even died" in the last quake? :eek

Pub Lover Feb 21st, 2011 09:06 PM

We went and shot a few chaps just so there would be fatalities this time. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 21st, 2011 09:07 PM

Are you happy now, Big Man? :eek

Colonel Flagg Feb 21st, 2011 09:19 PM

Earthquakes, floods, brown tree snakes and great white sharks. How many ways are there to die down under?

The world may never know.

Colonel Flagg Feb 21st, 2011 09:20 PM

And volcanos. I almost forgot the volcanos. :dunce

Esuohlim Feb 21st, 2011 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 713664)
Are you happy now, Big Man? :eek

Not happy enough :eek

Guitar Woman Feb 21st, 2011 11:21 PM

Don't forget those spiders that hide under the toilet seat, or irukandji

Aren't there also trees that fucking explode if they get too hot? I imagine living in Australia is a lot like being trapped in a NES game.

kahljorn Feb 22nd, 2011 10:15 AM

Quote:

Aren't there also trees that fucking explode if they get too hot?
/dickjoke

penises work backwards in the other hemisphere

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 22nd, 2011 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 713677)
Don't forget those spiders that hide under the toilet seat, or irukandji

Aren't there also trees that fucking explode if they get too hot? I imagine living in Australia is a lot like being trapped in a NES game.

:lol

Zhukov Feb 22nd, 2011 11:16 AM

Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Taipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell
That spikes you when you pick it up

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed

RaNkeri Feb 22nd, 2011 12:04 PM


RaNkeri Feb 22nd, 2011 12:09 PM

HAHAHA, I-MOCKERY CHAT (IT STINGS!)

Esuohlim Feb 22nd, 2011 02:44 PM

RANKERI STOGIE'S EATING THE COUCH IT SOUNDS LIKE A GORILLA EATING A LOG CABIN BLING BLONG BLING BLONG

Otto Feb 22nd, 2011 03:13 PM

Doesn't Australia also have exploding ants?

Colonel Flagg Feb 22nd, 2011 04:19 PM

And killer rabbits.

Pub Lover Feb 22nd, 2011 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 713623)

I missed having dyed hair.

How old are you, Sappy? I wish it was still October and I was interested in talking about Minecraft in here. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 22nd, 2011 04:22 PM

:pagebrak

RaNkeri Feb 22nd, 2011 05:28 PM


fuck yeah :rock

Babs Feb 23rd, 2011 12:16 AM

In 8 hours, pharmacy tech certification exam. Been on uppers for approximately 24 hours and now my mind has grown numb with the sense of feeling disconnected from reality. All I can hear in my head now is David Bowie's "Life on Mars" with the lyrics rearranged into generic and brand name drugs.

LordSappington Feb 23rd, 2011 12:21 AM

Some of you may know I have an irrational phobia of dentistry. I went in for a root canal after ripping out my crown and some of the tooth.
So, 50mg of Halcion and a generous amount of nitrous later, and I'm laying in the chair, floating towards the ceiling, and seeing the music as Postal Service was playing in hy earbuds.
I actually had a very fun time. :)

Big McLargehuge Feb 23rd, 2011 12:32 AM

Your dentist raped you when you were under.

Babs Feb 23rd, 2011 12:44 AM

He used his pubic hair as dental floss.

Kitsa Feb 23rd, 2011 03:30 AM

@ Zhukov: cone shell.

Colonel Flagg Feb 23rd, 2011 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 713771)

fuck yeah :rock

:bestthread

Colonel Flagg Feb 23rd, 2011 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 713791)
Some of you may know I have an irrational phobia of dentistry. I went in for a root canal after ripping out my crown and some of the tooth.
So, 50mg of Halcion and a generous amount of nitrous later, and I'm laying in the chair, floating towards the ceiling, and seeing the music as Postal Service was playing in hy earbuds.
I actually had a very fun time. :)

Better living through chemistry. :themoreyouknow

Zhukov Feb 23rd, 2011 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 713804)
@ Zhukov: cone shell.

Tis song lyrics.

LordSappington Feb 23rd, 2011 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 713793)
Your dentist raped you when you were under.

It's not rape if they can't say no :love

Grislygus Feb 23rd, 2011 10:58 AM

RANKERI, COLONEL





I'M PROUD OF YOU BOTH

Fathom Zero Feb 23rd, 2011 11:28 AM

The most delicious dishwater ever. yummm

Tadao Feb 23rd, 2011 11:29 AM

fucking swill

Grislygus Feb 23rd, 2011 11:30 AM

Couple of smug prick-erries that couldn't even identify a half-decent bourbon, let alone a half-decent scotch

Grislygus Feb 23rd, 2011 11:32 AM

GAWDAMN FURRINERS WITH THEIR SCOTCH, AIN'T NOTHIN BETTER THAN A SAWR MASH THAT JIM BEAM'S GRANPAPPY FURMENTED OUTTA HISSOWN PISS, YESSE DID. SCOTCH AIN'T NUTHIN

Grislygus Feb 23rd, 2011 11:35 AM

NOW THAT JIM BEAM'S GOT THAT NEW THANG, CALLED IT "RED STAG" AND SHEEEEIT, IT'S A BEAUT. "INFUSED" WITH CHERRIES Y'ALL, BLACK CHERRIES. 'COURSE, DAMNED IF IT DON'T TASTE LIKE COUGH SYRUP, BUT THAT'S THE KIND OF THANG YA GOTTA DEAL WITH WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' THE HIGH LIFE.

PLUS, THAT SHIT'S O-FISH-EEALLY ENDORSED BY KID ROCK, SO Y'ALL KNOW IT'S QUALITY SHIT

Grislygus Feb 23rd, 2011 11:37 AM

MAN I TELL YA. SOME GUY COMES UP AN HE TALKIN' BOUT ALL "GLENLIVET" AN 'CRAGGANMORE' AN ALL AN' I'M LIKE, Y'ALL BEST BE GETTIN' BACK TO FRANCE NOW BUCKWHEAT, THIS HERE'S THE U-NITED STATES OF AMURCA

Grislygus Feb 23rd, 2011 11:41 AM

AN THEN SOME FAGGOT JEWBOY SUMBITCH COMES UP AND TRIES TO CONVINCE ME THAT BOURBONS LIKE WOODFORD RESERVE AN' MAKERS MARK ARE BETTER THAN JIM BEAM! CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THAT? I'M LIKE "IF'n IT'S A BOURBON, AND IT AIN'T NAMED OLD CROW, I AIN'T TOUCHIN IT."

Grislygus Feb 23rd, 2011 11:44 AM

AND THEN.... YEAH BUDDY, THERE'S MORE- AND THEN, THIS PIECE OF SHIT BARTENDER LOOKS OVER AND HE'S LIKE "WELL, HAVE YOU EVER TRIED IRISH WHISKEY? I'VE GOT SOME RED BREAST OVER HERE".

SO I'M LIKE "MY GREAT GRAMPA FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO KEEP ALL THAT IRISH SHIT THE FUCK OUTTA AWR CUNTRY, PARD."

Colonel Flagg Feb 23rd, 2011 01:13 PM

:lol @ G²

You are the wind beneath my wings.

Tadao Feb 23rd, 2011 03:07 PM

The type of people who drink that crap are the same people who put sugar in folders and say YUM THATS A GOOD CUP OF COFFEE.

Big McLargehuge Feb 23rd, 2011 03:49 PM

My uncle is a whiskey alcoholic who claims he isn't because he appriciates "quality". He once told me that one cannot be an alcoholic unless they drink "the clear stuff". Snobbery is irrelevant. Point being; i drink beer, and love a good abbey ale.

Kitsa Feb 23rd, 2011 04:04 PM

I'm the only foodie snob I know who will drink Wild Turkey.

Tadao Feb 23rd, 2011 05:38 PM

Whiskey is for guys who want to blame their impotence on alcohol.


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