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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

kahljorn Jan 10th, 2009 04:19 PM

yea well i dont spit in food or anything so they don't have to worry about that ;/

kahljorn Jan 10th, 2009 04:20 PM

THEY JUST HAZ TO WORRY ABOUT MY BAD ATTITUDE

MattJack Jan 10th, 2009 04:33 PM

FU*K WITH THE BULL AND YOU GET THE HORNS RIGHT?

kahljorn Jan 10th, 2009 05:03 PM

And the customer is always ... AN ASSHOLE!

Sam Jan 10th, 2009 05:08 PM

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID, "YOU IGNORANT FUCKS YOU THOUGHT THIS SANDWICH WAS FIVE DOLLARS?"

Sam Jan 10th, 2009 05:09 PM

THEN THREW IT AT HER, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I'LL FUCKING U-GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SKULL AND FILL IT WITH BANANA PEPPERS AND PICKLES."

kahljorn Jan 10th, 2009 05:12 PM

:lol
I almost said something like that but instead I said, "You should have read the sign appropriately." ;/

RaNkeri Jan 10th, 2009 05:23 PM

Is it just me, or are all the troublesome customers women? :x

Aaarg Jan 10th, 2009 05:44 PM

Lots of men are asshole bastards also.

Speaking of signs, there's one man who complains every time that "the tag says so-and-so" on his single bottles of beer and I get so sick of hearing him say it every time I ring him up so now any time I see him I ask "what did the sign say" and manually enter the price instead of scanning the shit. Go away.

Kitsa Jan 10th, 2009 05:58 PM

The worst ones I ever encountered were the bitches getting their hair done next door and told the kids to play at my place till they were done.

Then I had to worry about babysitting their damn kids because I was alone and couldn't leave the store.

RaNkeri Jan 10th, 2009 06:10 PM

Little kids can be annoying too. Last summer I caught 2 russian kids snatching peas while one was trying to distract me. I solved the situation by using the little russian I had learned from war movies and comics, yelling "Rukiveer, perkele!" and pointing at them. The kids pretty much shat their pants and ran away. Feeling victorious, I lolled hard for a moment, before noticing how there had been a finnish couple with a young kid observing the situation the whole time, and I felt bad for giving the kiddo a bad example.

Tadao Jan 10th, 2009 07:11 PM

I'm surprised that I'm still allowed to create threads at all.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 10th, 2009 09:22 PM

:pagebrak



Debating wheter to go out tonight or stay in.

Pub Lover Jan 10th, 2009 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 607263)
Talk any more smack about Malcolm MacDowell and I'll break you, son.

We should rub our boners for Malcolm MacDowell together some time. :love

Aaarg Jan 11th, 2009 06:47 AM

i had a dream about you fucks. you all apparently lived in some house down the road from me, and i stopped by as i was walking to work barefoot. you were all very welcoming, and dirty. a bunch of you were playing skip-bo (it's one of those card games like uno) and eating applesauce. also, there was like 5 black people and tadao wasn't there because he was out delivering mail.

then some girl with big teeth gave me a ride to work.

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2009 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 607272)
We should rub our boners for Malcolm MacDowell together some time. :love


Include me in that group- I love Malcolm McDowell hardcore. Caligula is one of my favorite movies. Hell, I even watched that godawful star trek movie just to see him.

And Time after Time, amirite?

Aaarg Jan 11th, 2009 10:18 AM

IN GOOD COMPANY

Tadao Jan 11th, 2009 01:42 PM

I'm the one with a job? In your dreams!

Sam Jan 11th, 2009 03:17 PM

TANK GIRL

Fathom Zero Jan 11th, 2009 03:26 PM

LORI PETTY :3

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2009 03:55 PM

MAX ZANDER :rock

Esuohlim Jan 11th, 2009 03:57 PM

ERNEST BORGNINE

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2009 04:01 PM

HIS SECRET TO LONGEVITY IS HE MASTURBATES A LOT

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2009 04:07 PM

MAX ZANDER IST DER CLOWN

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2009 04:08 PM

man

If I had a dollar for every person who scrolls past my description of food art ingredients to ask me what it's made of

well

I'd be very rich indeed.

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2009 04:13 PM


Kitsa Jan 11th, 2009 04:15 PM

I just gave my dog a haircut and she looks like Barbra Streisand :(

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2009 04:18 PM

MAX ZANDER IST...



DER CLOWN

>:

Fathom Zero Jan 11th, 2009 04:36 PM


RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2009 04:48 PM


Tadao Jan 11th, 2009 04:56 PM

Clowns suck

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2009 05:01 PM

Max Zander doesn't >:

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2009 05:20 PM

What's wrong bitch? Cat got your tounge?

Tadao Jan 11th, 2009 05:32 PM

I miss my cats :( YOU DICK!

Never heard of Max Zander, so I'll have to take your word as value.

Tadao Jan 11th, 2009 06:35 PM

Shower farts make an awesomely horrifying noise.

Pub Lover Jan 11th, 2009 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 607361)
I'm gonna post all my thrift store electronics. I just need to finish this bottle of vodka first.

Perfect opportunity to post yer dick?

Tadao Jan 11th, 2009 07:53 PM

You know who has a pic of that already? Not you! :P

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2009 07:54 PM

Somehow I don't see Tadao holding back from showing anyone his dick.

Tadao Jan 11th, 2009 07:58 PM

Only because I know it drives Pub crazy to know someone has it, and he can't get it.

Pub Lover Jan 11th, 2009 08:01 PM

Everyone here has seen my dick.


Sometimes I regret this?

Tadao Jan 11th, 2009 08:03 PM

I haven't :(

Battle Net Edition Jan 11th, 2009 09:46 PM

I haven't :o

Fathom Zero Jan 11th, 2009 09:57 PM

The vessel with the pestle holds the pellet of the poison and the chalice from the palace holds the brew which is true.

Battle Net Edition Jan 11th, 2009 10:36 PM

This is messing me up a bit: there's a lick in Night Lies that sounds just like the ringtone on my phone. Everytime it plays I freak out and turn to look at my phone. I don't know how to alleviate this.

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 02:10 PM

Last night i saw the most hilarious thing! This guy was kind of making fun of my brother-in-law at a party and i guess it had been going on before that and also he was sort of making fun of his girlfriend (in an off-handed not really intentionally MAYBE kind of way) and my brother in law told him to stop and he wouldn't

SO MY BROTHERINLAW HELD UP A PIECE OF NEWSPAPER IN FRONT OF HIS FACE AND PUNCHED HIM THROUGH THE NEWSPAPER and then crumpled the newspaper all up in his face
LOL
I couldn't stop laughing. I feel bad for the other guy though kind of ;o

and my wife and i were just talking about how in old movies sometimes they would hold up their hats in front of people's faces and punch the bottoms of their hat out

MetalMilitia Jan 12th, 2009 02:45 PM

So wait - what was the point of the paper?

Sam Jan 12th, 2009 02:46 PM

SO HE DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!

IT'S CALLED THE "SUCKER PUNCH" :rolleyes

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 02:48 PM

THE POINT OF THE PAPER WAS THAT WHAT SAM SAID AND ALSO THAT IT WAS HILARIOUS.

EVEN I DIDNT SUSPECT IT, I JUSAT THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA SHOW HIM T HE FUNNIES THEN BLAM FLYING NEWSPAPER PUNCH

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 02:55 PM

And god damn trying to find anything online about xbox problems and xbox news is ridiculous! i was trying to find some updates about nxe causing freezing and like everything i read is a bunch of people saying THERES NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL ITS ALL SONY FANBOYS TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF THE XBOX.

and one idiot actually said, "according to my calculations only 4% of 23 million consoles are having problems with this update. That's not really a big deal" thats almost a million consoles! What the fuck is wrong with people on the internet!
that's like saying ONLY FOUR PERCENT OF THE WORLDS POPULATION DIED OVER NIGHT BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID STATISTICS. THATS NOT A BIG DEAL WHY NOT MAKE UP SOME MORE DUMB STATISTICS I MEAN FOUR IS SUCH A SMALL NUNMBER.
geez it's only 240 million people worst things have happened overnight before :rolleyes

Sam Jan 12th, 2009 03:01 PM

I'M GLAD MY XBOX ISN'T YOUR XBOX. :(

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 03:05 PM

PFT I GOT A NEW ONE THAT RUNS LIKE A DREAM

IM JUST SCARED TO UPDATE :(

Sam Jan 12th, 2009 03:19 PM

HAHAHAHAHA DO IT

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 03:36 PM

FUCK YOU YOU JUST WANT TO SEE ME FAIL

Fathom Zero Jan 12th, 2009 03:49 PM

I WANT TO CHOKE MYSELF, GET AN ERECTION

Fathom Zero Jan 12th, 2009 04:39 PM

Shooting on the Boondock Saints II wrapped up last month and no one told me. Here I was thinking everyone hated Troy Duffy. Apparently people reconciled. The only person not in the sequal that was in the original is Willem Dafoe. And he was HUGE in the last. So I dunno.

Tadao Jan 12th, 2009 05:37 PM

The police said they can't find anything on my record. I guess I've learned my lesson :rolleyes

Shrubfest Jan 12th, 2009 05:45 PM

Liar.

Esuohlim Jan 12th, 2009 05:50 PM

I AM GOING TO SEE NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON TALK ON JAN. 22

:pickupline

Tadao Jan 12th, 2009 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 607505)
Liar.

I did. I shall not waste this gift and become a responsible member of society.

Aaarg Jan 12th, 2009 06:25 PM

women's liberation came creeping all across the nation
i tell you people i was not ready when i fucked this dyke by the name of freddie
she made a little speech then she tried to make me say when
she had my balls in a vice but she left the dick
i guess it's still hooked on but now it shoots too quick

Fathom Zero Jan 12th, 2009 07:41 PM

I can't remember who Mr. Wellin is, but he's from here and on my facebook list.

Tadao Jan 12th, 2009 08:13 PM

1 step closer to a whopper.

Sam Jan 12th, 2009 08:14 PM

THERE IT IS

Aaarg Jan 12th, 2009 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 607535)
1 step closer to a whopper.

AND I'M ABOUT TO BITE!!

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 08:53 PM

Quote:

The police said they can't find anything on my record. I guess I've learned my lesson :rolleyes:
look at that I don't even know you or your police history and i know that you're a stupid cry baby now go ride your motorcycle you ridiculous outlaw

*shaky voice* "ooooorgghuuuuhuhuh i have warrants out for my arrest ooorguuuuhuhuh"

completely accurate quoting

Sam Jan 12th, 2009 08:55 PM

AND TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY DICKS ON YOUR WAY THROUGH THE PARKING LOT :rolleyes

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 08:59 PM

Sam! He has a long journey to indiana to worry about, let him get his fix before he leaves the parking lot. Motorcycles make for dangerous and perilous rides! He needs to be 100% FOCUSED

most motorcycle accidents occur just five miles outside of parking lots after they've refrained from sucking cock

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 09:05 PM

really when was the last time you heard of a gay person crashing his motorcycle after he sucked cock?

exactly. Don't doubt statistical evidence

Tadao Jan 12th, 2009 09:06 PM

Such a jealous little bitch.

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 09:07 PM

I was jealous of your police record and now there is nothing left ;/

Tadao Jan 12th, 2009 09:10 PM

:lol

kahljorn Jan 12th, 2009 09:13 PM

Thank God you aren't developing a complex or anything.

:/

Zhukov Jan 12th, 2009 11:15 PM

Does anyone else see the 'Gay CHUBBY Dating' advertisement at the top of this page? Just wondering.

Sam Jan 12th, 2009 11:18 PM

I ONLY GET THAT AD WHEN SOMEONE POSTS A PICTURE OF TADAO.

Fathom Zero Jan 12th, 2009 11:19 PM

"That's life, man."

"Life my ass, motherfucker! This is a business, and you ain't too far gone to see that yet."

Tadao Jan 12th, 2009 11:34 PM



Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 607594)
I ONLY GET THAT AD WHEN SOMEONE POSTS A PICTURE OF TADAO.

Keep it down, Rog will want the money for running my banner.

Tadao Jan 13th, 2009 03:03 AM

I love this guys work.

http://joshuahoffine.com/

Tadao Jan 13th, 2009 05:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore Is God (Post 567696)
Edit: I retract my statement after reading Taddles' baby mama drama.

At first I was all WTF? And then I remembered the thread.

Tadao Jan 13th, 2009 05:38 AM

Hey Poppy! I see you like bunnies too, so do I!

Tadao Jan 13th, 2009 05:39 AM

:(

Tadao Jan 13th, 2009 05:42 AM

https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.p...a0QyWGQzZUE9PQ

Adrian Belew - Inner Revolution

But you guys probably would hate it :(

:(
:(
:(

Grislygus Jan 13th, 2009 04:18 PM

Boring.

Better link.
http://swenglishrantings.com/

MattJack Jan 13th, 2009 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 607687)
Boring.

Better link.
http://swenglishrantings.com/

Charity begins at home



She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom, making love to a very attractive young woman.

The wife was VERY upset!
“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children?!? I’m leaving you! I want a divorce straight away!!!”

And he replied: “Hang on just a minute, honey, so thatI can at least tell you what happened.”

“Fine, go ahead”, she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll ever say to me!”

And he began:



“Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift.

She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days!

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair just like them.”
He took a quick breath and continued: “She was so grateful for my understanding and help, and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said…, ‘Please………do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’”

Tadao Jan 13th, 2009 04:32 PM


Tadao Jan 13th, 2009 04:34 PM

So this is where my mom gets her funny emails from. :rolleyes

Grislygus Jan 13th, 2009 04:35 PM


Grislygus Jan 13th, 2009 04:36 PM

Posted: May 20 2008, 11:58CET
Category: News Article tags: Democrat, Foriegn Policy, Idiot, Obama, The DaliBama

Esuohlim Jan 13th, 2009 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattJack (Post 607689)

Her legs :hypno

Pub Lover Jan 13th, 2009 05:35 PM

Happy Birthday, Dr. Boogie. :)

Every year I'm annoyed that you're suddenly younger than me. :(

Fathom Zero Jan 13th, 2009 06:03 PM

Post #53889. :cool

Big McLargehuge Jan 14th, 2009 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 607627)
I love this guys work.

http://joshuahoffine.com/

i saw a thing on pbs about him, he seemed almost creepy nice. and he uses his daughters in his photographs.

Kitsa Jan 14th, 2009 10:20 AM

Where was he when all of those Stephen King books with the shitty covers were coming out?

Zomboid Jan 14th, 2009 10:20 AM

For one of my electives this term, I picked "short fiction forms," and I can already tell that it's gonna be another one of those classes where all of the artsy douchebags have free reign and annoy me all class :(

I hate you sometimes, art school :(

Kitsa Jan 14th, 2009 10:21 AM

srsly, you chose art school and hope to avoid artsy douchebags?

impossible, sir.

Zomboid Jan 14th, 2009 10:23 AM

I'm here for a bachelor of communications in professional writing, so I was hoping the art fags would be confined to the dance, music, and art rooms, but no such luck.

Edit: this professor lady is really fuckable, though.

Sam Jan 14th, 2009 10:58 AM

HIT DAT SHIT, N*GGAHHHHHHHHH

Zomboid Jan 14th, 2009 11:07 AM

AFTA CLASS, IMMA BE AWWLIKE BITCH CUMMERE I WANNA TEOW U SUMMIN! N DEN WEN SHE GETS NEER, IMMA CUM IN HO EYE

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 02:10 PM

i watched the shining the other night and good fucking grief what is with Olive Oils fucking face? It was the most horrifying thing in the movie watching her fat toothed face contort into those HORRIFIED expressions.

RaNkeri Jan 14th, 2009 03:50 PM

:rolleyes

Tadao Jan 14th, 2009 04:04 PM

:rolleyes


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