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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 02:32 PM

A young female reporter from a British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about Finnish soldiers returning from the Winter War. Interviewing one infantry-man, Jussi, she asked
"When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing you did?"
"I screwed my wife," Jussi replied bluntly.
The journalist went red, and tried to change the subject.
"After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"
"I screwed her again," he answered.
The journalist turned an even darker shade of red.
"Other than that! Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"
"I took off my skis and had a beer."

Grislygus Feb 4th, 2009 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moonlightkisu (Post 610608)
Interesting.

The profile itself is quite public, only the journal part is friends-only.

Quite mild, i'd say, compared to caucasian women who do this to their face.

Oh my. That is quite scary, even when asian people do it.

it's like a clown tried to fuck a tanning bed

MetalMilitia Feb 4th, 2009 02:37 PM

♫ Marge becomes a robot ♫
♫ Moe could get a cell phone ♫
♫ Some kind of crazy wedding ♫

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2009 02:44 PM

I know a lot of people in my classes who should be named this

Grislygus Feb 4th, 2009 02:53 PM

And of course we know about Chernobyl, that's where those evil Ruskie sumbitches fucked up. What are you, French? And 9 Mile Island was an honest mistake

RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 03:01 PM

:lol

kahljorn Feb 4th, 2009 03:22 PM

i heard from a reliable internet source that chernobyl was actually caused by an alien crash landing or mishaped alien technology and that the guberments have been trying to keep it covered up for years

Grislygus Feb 4th, 2009 03:29 PM

just as long as the Reds were in on it

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2009 03:30 PM

what the hell is a chernobyl

Grislygus Feb 4th, 2009 03:33 PM

SLIMY STARFUCKERS AN THER GODDAMN COMMIE NUCULAR POWERED AIR CASTLES

RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 03:38 PM

if they know that you know you'll be in trouble :eek

Grislygus Feb 4th, 2009 03:38 PM

I GOT A FUKIN TWELVE GAUGE WITH THEIR NAMES ON IT AH TELL YOU WHAT

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 03:49 PM

I've been popping caps in Russian ass all morning.


RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 03:58 PM


HickMan Feb 4th, 2009 04:01 PM

If you've ever been enlightened by Invasion USA, you know that at no time does Chuck Norris go fight in Washington D.C.

RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 04:02 PM

Fuck Chuck Norris, Hickman to the rescue

Kitsa Feb 4th, 2009 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 611433)
radiation damaged? how?

I had radiation therapy for spinal cord cancer when I was 3- basically everything in my head neck and chest was in the line of fire.

RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 04:13 PM

spinal cord cancer at the age of 3?

Seriously, holy shit

Fathom Zero Feb 4th, 2009 04:16 PM

Are you like She Hulk now?

Kitsa Feb 4th, 2009 04:21 PM

Spinal cord cancer at the age of zero, I was born with it. They just didn't realize that was what was wrong with me till it had grown for 3 years and I was already paralyzed.

Mom was exposed to a carcinogen while pregnant with me. She's on cancer #5 herself.

And no, I don't have any superpowers other than spectacular tooth sensitivity. Mom says I used to be able to make televisions and radios go staticky when I walked past them.

Fathom Zero Feb 4th, 2009 04:25 PM

I'll bet all the superpowers are latent.

RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 04:27 PM

How severe was it at worst? If you were born with it did it have any metastases by the time you were diagnosed with it?

Kitsa Feb 4th, 2009 04:28 PM

I also must note that, while damaged, my teeth are not a funny light green color. They're fairly white. You just have to peel me off the ceiling if the wrong thing touches them.

I got a substitute dental hygienist. While nice, she did give me a tooth health report card. It was traffic-light themed. I got a green light for gum health. After I left I remembered I left it in the chair :/

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 04:29 PM

Why does everyone else get all the cool diseases :(

Kitsa Feb 4th, 2009 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 611505)
How severe was it at worst? If you were born with it did it have any metastases by the time you were diagnosed with it?


When I was first born I guess they knew something was amiss, and they thought it was MS. So they tested me for MS and I came out clean for that, so they sent me home.

Then my mom gave birth to premature twins and they died (which is exactly what would happen to me 30 years later), and around that time I started dragging one leg. Mom took me to the doctor, who said I was just trying to get attention back on myself after my brother and sister's death and that Mom should put me in daycare and go to work. Repeat x2 years.

Finally, I just went paralyzed one day. Mom freaked out and took me to the ER at an actual decent hospital, they did a myelogram and...oops, it was spinal cord cancer all along.

Kitsa Feb 4th, 2009 04:32 PM

Tadao: want it? I'll switch.

RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 04:37 PM

I wouldn't call alcoholism a disease, tadao :rolleyes

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2009 04:38 PM

I wonder how many I-Mock vets don't show up anymore because they died :eek

:rolleyes And when will it be my turn :rolleyes

Fathom Zero Feb 4th, 2009 04:43 PM

Confession Time: I enjoyed "A Walk in the Clouds".

RaNkeri Feb 4th, 2009 04:45 PM

I thought Indiana Jones 4 was ok

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 611509)
Tadao: want it? I'll switch.

We can breed and forge a super evil child.

Guitar Woman Feb 4th, 2009 04:50 PM

Jefferson Airplane is the only good band

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 04:54 PM

name 3 good songs

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 04:55 PM

Hot Tuna is the only good thing to come from Jefferson Airplane.

Kitsa Feb 4th, 2009 04:56 PM

shopping hungry was a bad idea, I came home with a bunch of absolute shit :(

Guitar Woman Feb 4th, 2009 04:57 PM

White Rabbit, Embryonic Journey, Wooden Ships

Guitar Woman Feb 4th, 2009 04:58 PM

and pretty much everything else

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 05:04 PM

Embryonic Journey is basically Hot Tuna.
White Rabbit really does suck ass.
Wooden Ships is only good because CS&N made it sound good.

Guitar Woman Feb 4th, 2009 05:07 PM

bitch bitch bitch

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 05:09 PM

Seriously, you don't like Jefferson Airplane, you actually like Hot Tuna and don't even know it.

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2009 05:18 PM

JEFFERSON STARSHIP



FUCK YEAH

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2009 05:18 PM

The guy on the far left looks like one of my great aunts!

Guitar Woman Feb 4th, 2009 05:21 PM

that can't be his real hair

kahljorn Feb 4th, 2009 05:22 PM

i like how guitar woman is always finding some typical thing to identify himself with pretentiously ;/

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 05:23 PM

Finland should know who Hot Tuna is :(

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 05:24 PM

If I would open my butthole for a young Jorma.

Guitar Woman Feb 4th, 2009 05:25 PM

how dare you enjoy things

you pretentious faggot

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 05:44 PM

Now you can go to another forum and pretend to like Hot Tuna and actually look cool.

You are welcome :picklehat

Grislygus Feb 4th, 2009 05:46 PM

So let's see here, you hate Cream and despise Eric Clapton, but Jefferson Airplane is right up your alley? I imagine that Jimi Hendrix had nothing on the Mamas and the Papas

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 05:49 PM

You can even say things like, America's Choice is the greatest acoustic to electric crossover album ever. It should go down as one of the greatest acid rocks albums just underneath Jimi Hendrix's Electric Ladyland!

Grislygus Feb 4th, 2009 05:49 PM

In other music news, having now heard George Lynch's cover of Paranoid, I am now more than certain that every single member of Dokken, ever, in any lineup, will suck Satan's balls in eternal hellfire

Grislygus Feb 4th, 2009 05:50 PM

California Dreamin's got me dreamin! Denny Doherty, take me away

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 05:54 PM

And someone played a Beach Boys song
On the jukebox
It was "California Dreamin'"
So we started screamin'
"On such a winter's day"

Fathom Zero Feb 4th, 2009 06:10 PM

One of my favorite songs. That and some Moody Blues will put me in a depression very easily.

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 06:18 PM

I have a story about going to see the Moody Blues front row that involves,

Entering Mexico, almost smoking pot with them, and stink foot.

Fathom Zero Feb 4th, 2009 06:30 PM

You, me, Hemingway, a bobsled. Remember those days?

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 06:33 PM

I thought you forgot about that! :lol

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 06:43 PM

:x
Code:

ifcodedidntalloweveryonetoreaditiwouldsototallydestroyzq

Guitar Woman Feb 4th, 2009 07:24 PM

Probably not, seeing as Hendrix is a boring faggot who sucks

pac-man Feb 4th, 2009 07:30 PM

Nice to see nothing's changed in the last couple of weeks.

Guitar Woman Feb 4th, 2009 07:32 PM

Still rather listen to him than Cream, though.

Big McLargehuge Feb 4th, 2009 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 611557)
You, me, Hemingway, a bobsled. Remember those days?

Don't you remember Paris? You, me, Hemingway, the shiny tugboat.

Tadao Feb 4th, 2009 09:00 PM

GW, I see that you still edit the fuck out of your posts.

Kitsa Feb 4th, 2009 09:10 PM

"Pretentious Faggot" would be a good band name.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 5th, 2009 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pac-man (Post 611567)
Nice to see nothing's changed in the last couple of weeks.

I know, where'd you go? I missed you Packie.

WhiteRat Feb 5th, 2009 12:23 AM

The Sports Forum needs you, Pac-Man!

Just kidding! We hope you never come back.

RaNkeri Feb 5th, 2009 12:24 AM

It never rains in southern california

pac-man Feb 5th, 2009 02:46 AM

My computer ate shit and I couldn't remember my password (or else I would've logged on from elsewhere). I was upset that I couldn't discuss the super bowl with you weirdos.

Aaarg Feb 5th, 2009 08:18 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgkh-nei9hw

Kitsa Feb 5th, 2009 08:20 AM

Look what my dog did last night...to a HARD METAL PIE PAN.






I called the vet and they said there's nothing we can do except watch her for signs of distress. How soon is the distress supposed to happen? She killed the pie pan 9 hours ago.

RaNkeri Feb 5th, 2009 08:44 AM

Well, I guess you could try giving her something that she'd love to eat. If she doesn't eat it could be because of the pain. Probably checking her feces for any blood would be a good idea too. However if she acts normally I'd guess it would be safe to say that she didn't swallow any metal.

Kitsa Feb 5th, 2009 08:45 AM

She's been eating normally and has one normal crap out in the yard since, so I have no idea. I've been feeding her bits of bread and cheese, thinking if there was any metal in there the bread/cheese might bind to it and cushion it.

Kitsa Feb 5th, 2009 10:50 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjYvYtY_AnM

"Is this real life? Only now I have two fingers."

I've felt that way coming out of the dentist's myself.

MetalMilitia Feb 5th, 2009 01:21 PM

Feed the dog magnets. Hope this helps.

Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 04:39 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk99XC2OYWc

Shrubfest Feb 5th, 2009 04:52 PM

Does anyone have a clue if there was a Ren and Stimpy episode about appendicitus?

Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 05:00 PM

Yes there is.

RaNkeri Feb 5th, 2009 05:05 PM

take it to the base




take it to the base

Shrubfest Feb 5th, 2009 05:08 PM

Nevermind. It was Rocko's modern life.

About to relive a childhood trauma!

Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 05:11 PM

No it wasn't

Shrubfest Feb 5th, 2009 05:16 PM

It wasn't?

Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 05:20 PM

Don't you dare question me woman!

Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 05:23 PM

I just put my hat on the bed :eek

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 5th, 2009 05:57 PM

That's just like putting your foot down?

Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 06:02 PM

Bad luck according to Drug Store Cowboy

MetalMilitia Feb 5th, 2009 06:05 PM


Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 06:06 PM

I KNEW IT!

Bod Feb 5th, 2009 06:49 PM

yeah, what a complete and utter bastard

Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 07:29 PM




This dogs face is just too awesome.

Kitsa Feb 5th, 2009 07:47 PM

My cocker spaniel used to get the snow-ball things on his legs. Weird. The poodle doesn't.

You're right, it is an awesome face.

Tadao Feb 5th, 2009 07:51 PM

The eyes are so contradictory to the mouth.

Shyandquietguy Feb 5th, 2009 09:44 PM

Hoona Igna Chowa Neha

Guitar Woman Feb 6th, 2009 02:47 PM

Are you guys HAPPY today

I am

Kitsa Feb 6th, 2009 02:53 PM

I'm meh.

Tadao Feb 6th, 2009 02:58 PM

I would like to be happier.

Guitar Woman Feb 6th, 2009 02:58 PM

I saw an unconcious/dead guy in a Starbucks today, that was pretty funny

Guitar Woman Feb 6th, 2009 02:58 PM

Jesus christ, are you two ALWAYS on this website

Tadao Feb 6th, 2009 02:59 PM

That is bad advertisement for caffeine.

Kitsa Feb 6th, 2009 03:01 PM

we make use of the internet while recharging our rascal scooters.

Tadao Feb 6th, 2009 03:02 PM

:lol


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