:pagebrak

i went into tennessee for the first time in my life today. if i had to live in pigeon forge, i would drink a liter of cyanide.

So my uncle is on a volunteer fire department and got this call.

Couple was having sex in someone's backyard treehouse. Woman falls out of treehouse, gets lodged in tree, serious injuries apparently.

Guy gets dressed and flees the scene, leaves her there naked in the tree.

What a dick. :lol

right in the crotch of the tree huh?

:HYUK

I wonder what kind of injuries she had, and where.

I can't believe the guy was all "fuck this!" and left.

Whatta you wanna bet the guy was a minor and she told his ass to get the fuck out of here.

Going to bet 20 quid at least.

Someone involved was 27 but I can't remember if it was her or him.

Maybe she was the minor so he left the bitch hangin'.

I'll be 9000 days old in 2 weeks and need to find some way to celebrate.

You never take our advice.

I bought a new box of crayons just for the smell :(

Not the taste?

It hasn't gone there yet, but I'm not ruling out the possibility.

There was a boy in my kindergarten who ate blue crayons and charged other kids to watch him pee green. I never took him up on it but the kids who saw it were impressed.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE BAN DURRSOMETHING AGAIN?

He might have to be burned to get the job done.

Burton and Depp should have thier own movie company name.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/need...onderland.html

Like Burpp or something.

http://elbo.ws/post/1813773/the-orbs...the-age-of-44/

:tear

Finland is actually pretty nimble.

He's huntin for Lasagna

so j had a rough day at work today. he was abnormally down. his wife says "will a blowjob make you feel better?"

why can i never meet a woman like this?

BECAUSE I HATE YOU

fuck! please stop hating me, then!

NOT IN YOUR LIFETIME BUB