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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Esuohlim May 10th, 2012 03:33 PM


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 758838)
when you say its all about the crescendos do you mean they are a good band or are you being sarcastic

I mean that the point of these bands seems to entirely be based around a steady build-up throughout the whole song until the end, which a couple of my friends cream their pants over but I find it uninteresting.

Esuohlim May 10th, 2012 03:42 PM

For the longest time I've tried to stay impartial about my political views. And while I still find things wrong with both sides, it's getting to the point where I feel that social conservatives are completely and objectively wrong. They just are. Usually I can justify a point of view, but they're wrong.

Maybe not about the guns, though, that's a grey area.

Kitsa May 10th, 2012 04:33 PM

I'm a social liberal and fiscal conservative, but I've noticed when I'm around people they just tend to believe, or want to believe, that I'm whatever they are so I just go with that and let them bounce all their talk about "those idiots" off me without specifically calling me an idiot or thinking I've betrayed them somehow.

Aaarg May 11th, 2012 08:05 AM

yeah some co-worker was talking about "stupid atheists" and i was like "hey now, i'm a stupid atheist." fuck.

i'm left socially and economically! :D

captain516 May 11th, 2012 11:57 AM

I'm gonna get a Welsh Corgi.
Internet girls fucking love Welsh Corgis.

Dimnos May 11th, 2012 11:58 AM

I believe in god; but even I have to admit that if you are going to attach the word "stupid" to one of those groups, I dont think its the atheists. :\

Dimnos May 11th, 2012 11:59 AM


Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 758879)
I'm gonna get a Welsh Corgi.
Internet girls fucking love Welsh Corgis.

The only person I know who loves corgis also loves cock...

captain516 May 11th, 2012 12:04 PM

If I were a lesbian that would be bad news!
But I'm not, I'm not a lesbian.
at least, not anymore..

captain516 May 11th, 2012 12:08 PM

If Tadao were here he'd post a picture of Corgis doing cutesy shit, I bet.

Tadao May 11th, 2012 01:17 PM

captain516 May 11th, 2012 01:22 PM

I should get like 4 of those and attach them to a chariot

Kitsa May 11th, 2012 06:24 PM

You said corgis and the first thing I thought of was Elizabeth II wanting you.

Aaarg May 11th, 2012 06:50 PM


Kitsa May 11th, 2012 09:41 PM


Aaarg May 11th, 2012 10:50 PM


Big McLargehuge May 12th, 2012 01:16 AM

This is a bush knife I made in my black smithing class. Her name is Snikt.

Zhukov May 12th, 2012 08:44 AM

Cool knife. Seriously.

That spider is disgusting.

Esuohlim May 12th, 2012 02:57 PM


Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 758903)
Cool knife. Seriously.

The correct answer from you here was "You call that a knife?"

I will now have to ask you to relinquish your zugs

Tadao May 12th, 2012 04:18 PM

Fathom Zero May 14th, 2012 02:12 PM

I had my wisdom teeth ripped out of my head and now I won't stop bleeding.

Tadao May 14th, 2012 04:22 PM

You finally hit puberty! HURRAY!

Otto May 14th, 2012 09:27 PM

I never had to get my wisdom teeth removed? DID I NEVER HIT PUBERTY?! OH GOD ALL THE THINGS I'VE MISSED.

Fathom Zero May 15th, 2012 07:38 AM

People just get them removed all willy-nilly, when they sometimes don't cause problems for certain people. My friend never had his removed and he doesn't need to. I'm not sure I did, either, but the dentist was $250 a tooth sure.

Fathom Zero May 15th, 2012 07:42 AM

I got a kickass bottle of painkillers, too, but I don't need them, so I think I'll sell them when I get back to school.

Kitsa May 15th, 2012 09:16 AM

I still have my wisdom teeth, but my 12 year molars were all radiated and fucked so I'm minus 2 of those. I had a Valium and versed drip and it was delightful.

Big McLargehuge May 15th, 2012 02:07 PM

Versed has saved me from a few stressful pre-op waits. It also apparently makes me tell the truth.

Dimnos May 15th, 2012 02:51 PM


Kitsa May 15th, 2012 03:50 PM

More than once I've wished for a Valium versed drip on an Iv cart I can just wheel around with me. Don't care at the time, don't remember it later- perfect formula.

Tadao May 15th, 2012 04:15 PM

I think I want to break my back so that I can lay in a morphine induced comma watching the survivor reunion and groping nurses.

Esuohlim May 15th, 2012 04:28 PM

Every time I go to the dentist I'm told "we should probably get those wisdom teeth out next time". Twice a year for the last 6 years.

Tadao May 15th, 2012 05:16 PM

The government is trying to make people into drooling drug addict sheep by removing your wisdom teeth.


Fathom Zero May 15th, 2012 06:47 PM

I got vicodin. :eek

I think I'll just take some ibuprofen and get the fucking swelling down. It's making it a bitch to eat.

Kitsa May 15th, 2012 07:58 PM

They gave me Dilaudid for something once and that was an experience. When people talked, their words stretched out and rippled and snapped like ribbons in the wind. Also, I made up a language in my head and it was hilarious to me.

A lot of people go on about how great Fentanyl is, but it never did much for me.

Normally I just turn down all that stuff and take Excedrin. But they don't want you taking aspirin if your mouth is bleeding.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 16th, 2012 12:19 AM

I need to get my fucking wisdom teeth out. I have 6 and they're aggravating.

Esuohlim May 16th, 2012 12:41 AM


Fathom Zero May 16th, 2012 01:46 AM


Esuohlim May 16th, 2012 03:32 AM

It's because you're a pussy, son :alignright

Colonel Flagg May 16th, 2012 05:07 AM

Speaking of drugs, what's this I hear about scopolamine being used to turn people into zombies?

Aaarg May 16th, 2012 08:13 AM

speaking of wisdom teeth, how much would it cost to have one removed without insurance?

because one of mine (i have three!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm highly evolved!!!!!!!!!! i guess i'm about to have two, but not naturally) is definitely falling apart. doesn't hurt, but a big chunk definitely broke off a few nights ago and now i have a very sharp tooth in the back of my mouth.

Kitsa May 16th, 2012 08:16 AM

I'm not sure about wisdom teeth, but the going rate for having a molar pulled around here is $200-300.

Aaarg May 16th, 2012 08:46 AM

yux. i guess that's not so bad.

do you think it would higher or lower in an area with a high concentration of smokeless tobacco users and meth-heads?

living costs are dirt cheap because living sucks.

Kitsa May 16th, 2012 09:16 AM

could be.

Zhukov May 16th, 2012 12:10 PM

My teeth are perfect and I don't take painkillers


Esuohlim May 16th, 2012 08:46 PM

Zhukov May 16th, 2012 11:00 PM

But yeah, I do take massive amounts of fluoride.

Guitar Woman May 17th, 2012 02:57 AM


Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 759020)
Speaking of drugs, what's this I hear about scopolamine being used to turn people into zombies?

Scopolamine is one of the principal deliriant alkaloids found in datura stramonium, commonly known as jimson weed or loco weed, easily the most powerful deliriant drug in the history of ever. It's believed that it might be useful as both a truth serum and a zombie drug because if you gave it to someone and asked them questions or told them to do shit, they'd be far, far too fucked up to know not to tell you or to argue with you. The downside is that they could easily be too fucked up to even hear you, so most real-world instances of datura/scopolamine poisoning involve people being drugged, robbed/whatever, and tossed into a ditch. Even if it works as a truth serum, it's going to be far from reliable due to the effects of the drug, and probably nobody's going to check because making a person eat this stuff just to test a stupid urban myth wouldn't be nice at all.

The short of what it actually does is, basically, all of the "bad acid trips" you see portrayed in the movies where characters run around getting chased by imaginary monsters and watching maggots crawl out of their noses? Datura actually does stuff like this. You'll see, hear, feel, taste, smell, and generally interact with shit that isn't there, commonly creepy shit like rats, spiders, giant spiders, dinosaurs, shadow people, and shit that looks like it belongs in Silent Hill. The cultist drug mentioned in the first SH game, White Claudia, is a pretty clear analogue to datura. I've never tried datura itself, but I have tripped on weaker deliriants before, and I would describe the experience as "like visiting Silent Hill while drunk." The really fun part is that, save for fleeting moments of clarity, users often completely forget that they have taken drugs at all, and will be unable to tell whether the army of scorpions crawling out of the eyes of the painting of baby Jesus are real or not. All told, this is an extremely unpleasant class of drugs.

Fun facts about datura: the high has been reported as lasting for about three days, and unless watched and cared for users will typically wander far away from their starting point and either end up naked and covered in shit in a ditch in Mexico, or in the hospital. The potency of the alkaloids in datura varies from batch to batch, making it difficult to judge doses properly. It'll kill the shit out of you if you take too much, or if you decide to try driving after taking it, which is entirely possible because you'll be so fucked up under this stuff that you won't even know not to play in your own shit.

It's also unscheduled in a lot of places, which is hilarious. http://www.erowid.org/plants/datura/datura_law.shtml

Aaarg May 17th, 2012 12:04 PM

lol linking to erowid
lol erowid
ha ha ha ha ha

one of my girlfriend's kids is a vocal agitatin' hyperchristian and he hit another kid or something and she asked what his problem was and he said the other kid threw something at him or whatever i don't remember these details all i know is that my girlfriend asked him "well why didn't you turn the other cheek, HUH?!"

Tadao May 17th, 2012 02:04 PM

I heard something a few years back about a zombie powder blown in peoples faces. I quickly ignored it.

Fathom Zero May 17th, 2012 03:06 PM

There are various neurological toxins you can get from plants that do that to people. Haitians get the famous rap for it, but things like that have their apothecarial roots in Africa, obviously.


Kitsa May 17th, 2012 07:03 PM

I think some of the prions can do it too.

Fathom Zero May 17th, 2012 07:09 PM

Whoa, those are cool as fuck.

Kitsa May 17th, 2012 07:12 PM

Scary as fuck.

Fathom Zero May 17th, 2012 07:42 PM

Well, there are distinctions between 'cool' and 'good for you'.

Otto May 17th, 2012 09:13 PM

Okay, I need some help here!

So in a few weeks I'm planning to either blow my head off with a shotgun in the break room at work, or just pull out a revolver and off myself in front of the first customer that pisses me off. Which one do you think would scar someone the most? I'm thinking break room since my dick boss would probably be too cheap to hire a crime-scene cleanup company, and instead force the rest of the workers to scrub bits of my head off the ceiling.

Fathom Zero May 17th, 2012 09:46 PM

I don't see why you can't take people with you if you're in that state of mind.

Otto May 17th, 2012 09:50 PM

I may hate my life and everyone around me, but I'm not a murderer.

Fathom Zero May 17th, 2012 09:56 PM


Esuohlim May 17th, 2012 11:38 PM

Otto we are all special snowflakes and we all deserve a chance to live long enough to become jaded and cynical

LordSappington May 18th, 2012 12:10 AM

Daily does of odd linkage: http://www.typealice.com/bme/loveatf...firstbite.html
Honestly, I think it's kind of cool.

Zhukov May 18th, 2012 05:19 AM

Otto, don't do it man. Take out a politician first.

kahljorn May 18th, 2012 12:15 PM



MarioRPG May 18th, 2012 05:57 PM

Hey guys MarioRPG is still alive.
I made me up a list of summer achievements, to maximize the potential for my last summer of university. Tomorrow I'll be checking off two items - get morning drunk, host a bbq.

Living the life here people!

Chojin May 19th, 2012 08:14 PM


i'd hit it

Tadao May 19th, 2012 10:53 PM

You guys can talk all night about you favorite hormone therapy.

Guitar Woman May 20th, 2012 10:37 AM

How come comments sections are universally horrible?

Fathom Zero May 20th, 2012 03:10 PM

I don't even have to say I'd hit that.


Fathom Zero May 20th, 2012 05:57 PM

My school offers Judo. SO I'M TAKING THAT SHIT. Seoi Nage and Osoto Gari all day long.

Guitar Woman May 20th, 2012 08:52 PM

I went downtown to interview homeless people today for a school thing. It was a pretty selfish dick move and I only did it because I don't personally know any interesting people. Anyway.

I met this 50-something balding black guy, this fucking batshit insane guy, who said his name was "Casanova, Romeo" (he specifically instructed me to include the comma). After he told me his name, he stole my notebook and wrote an entire page of gibberish after "AKA," apparently because this was his entire name. Said gibberish includes "'FutboL,' Espanol/Ingles, Baton nicAAAi, Rouge, (Football), Louisiana, 'Shaq' ORLando magie N.B.A, 'CRuel WinteR,'" and "BananaRama." That's nearly verbatim, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

He wrote all that and more on the counter of a food stand I took him to, since the deal I made was lunch for an interview, and the cashier looked like she was about to call the goddamn police after a minute or two. I looked over his shoulder to see what the fuck he was doing and at that exact moment he wrote "DON'T TURN AROUND" and scared the shit out of me.

Eventually I bought him some beer and a plastic cup of wine, then promised to mention in my "article" (I kept telling him I was a student and not a real journalist, but I guess he thought this was going into a newspaper anyway) that he was "single, bachelor, available, stag, alone, by self." I promptly got the fuck out of there and interviewed someone who didn't periodically hold his lighter above his head so that "aliens would see it;" that went a bit better.

Dr. Boogie May 20th, 2012 09:24 PM

The first time I had to do an interview for a school thing, I figured out I could fake the interview and no one could/would prove otherwise.

Focus on becoming a master storyteller so you can avoid encounters with the homeless.

Kitsa May 20th, 2012 11:05 PM

My last interview was with my boss when I was a TA. She fought in the Nigerian Civil War. She was a badass.

Zhukov May 21st, 2012 02:31 AM


Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie (Post 759126)
The first time I had to do an interview for a school thing, I figured out I could fake the interview and no one could/would prove otherwise.

Focus on becoming a master storyteller so you can avoid encounters with the homeless.

Ditto. Sage advice there.

Kitsa May 21st, 2012 02:59 AM

It has all the trappings of hubris, we're just waiting for the punchline.

Sethomas May 21st, 2012 04:18 AM

It sank during its maiden voyage.

Fathom Zero May 21st, 2012 04:41 AM

A victim of the modern age - poor, poor girl.

Guitar Woman May 21st, 2012 11:19 AM


Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 759129)
Ditto. Sage advice there.

Dude, you can't fabricate shit in journalism, that's like the number one rule

Tadao May 21st, 2012 12:48 PM

Yeah, Hunter would never do that :rolleyes

Colonel Flagg May 21st, 2012 02:22 PM


Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 759135)
Dude, you can't fabricate shit in journalism, that's like the number one rule


Originally Posted by Douglas Adams (RIP)
"[The witness was telling the WHOLE TRUTH;] Terrible things, incomprehensible things", he shouted, "things that would drive a man mad!"
He stared wildly at them.
"Or in my case," he said, "half-mad. I'm a journalist."
"You mean," said Arthur quietly, "that you are used to confronting the truth?"
"No", said the man with a puzzled frown, "I mean that I made an excuse and left early."

That is the number one rule of journalism.

Sethomas May 21st, 2012 03:23 PM

Wouldn't that sort of fabrication fit better in Guitar Woman's ethos if he had rather posted on an online forum for years pretending to be a homeless person?

OMG GW is womti.

Tadao May 21st, 2012 05:52 PM

#1 rule of politicians is to do the bidding of the majority.

kahljorn May 21st, 2012 06:48 PM

the #1 rule for humans is to always be good and never say anything bad to others

Fathom Zero May 22nd, 2012 02:55 AM


Kitsa May 22nd, 2012 08:43 PM

I'm in Georgia, and I drank wine.

WOOOOOO, etc. :redsolocup

Fathom Zero May 22nd, 2012 08:47 PM

I don't have health insurance anymore


Kitsa May 22nd, 2012 09:02 PM

that sucks. Have some wine, but not enough to cause liver problems

It's storming scary outside but I'm cool with that because the beachcombing is always awesome the next day.

Fathom Zero May 22nd, 2012 09:21 PM

It'll probably be fixed in a month or two, anyway. I need a copy of my birth certificate.

Otto May 22nd, 2012 10:27 PM

I answered a question for a phone survey with "I like to put the fear in them. The fear is what I call my dick," today.

Aaarg May 23rd, 2012 07:48 AM

my dog has a tick on his lip and i don't know how to yank it off without him flipping shit.

Kitsa May 23rd, 2012 09:35 AM

on the inside or the outside? You can try coating with oil and getting it to back out, then grabbing it

Aaarg May 23rd, 2012 11:17 AM

vegetable oil or what?

it's right on the edge. i guess it's more on the inside, but barely. it's right along/near the split beneath his nose.

i woke up this morning and noticed he had one on his face, directly between his eyes. got that one off and we noticed the other one. we put on some frontline or whatever flea stuff we give him (he's overdue anyway) with hopes that would have some effect on the tick, but apparently that only protects against fleas and lice.

Otto May 23rd, 2012 11:24 AM

If you can get someone to hold him, I'd recommend striking a match, blowing it out, and immediately touching it to the tick. If you can't move quick enough, or the match igniting scares the dog, you can always heat a fork or knife with a lighter and touch it to the tick.

Tadao May 23rd, 2012 11:55 AM

They've been saying that the heat thing is a myth and only makes the tick dig in further. I hear the Vaseline oil thing works best because it suffocates the tick and it has to pull it's head out to breath. Keeping a dog from licking oil off of his lip is going to be near impossible.

Tadao May 23rd, 2012 12:08 PM

go kings

Tadao May 23rd, 2012 01:14 PM



Originally Posted by LOL

During the tick season, try to reduce your cat's access to bush areas known to harbour ticks. Keep lawns and shrubs short and remove compost material from backyards.



kahljorn May 24th, 2012 06:17 AM

theres a black widow that sits where i smoke bowls and ive been blowing smoke at it.

everytime it falls offf its web and crumples up into a ball for the entire time i smoke

the next day its there chillin again

maybe try to get the tick stoned

Aaarg May 24th, 2012 08:37 AM

lol i'm not blowing smoke into my neurotic dog's face.

Aaarg May 24th, 2012 08:40 AM

also fuck google

how does this happen?

Fathom Zero May 24th, 2012 12:24 PM

The third one is a jumping spider! That was what I studied in Biology, mainly.

kahljorn May 24th, 2012 12:42 PM

if your dogs neurotic it sounds like he needs a bowl or two

Esuohlim May 24th, 2012 10:15 PM


10,000 Volt Ghost May 24th, 2012 11:00 PM


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 759180)
theres a black widowwoman that sits where i smoke bowls and ive been blowing smoke at it.

everytime it falls offf its web and crumples up into a ball for the entire time i smoke

the next day its there chillin again

maybe try to get the tick stoned

I thought you said that at first.

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