Revenge ideas
 

A few days ago, some friends and I were at the neighborhood pool, horsing around, and some kid smashed my phone to hell. The only thing I could even salvage that would work was the micro SD card, with all my music and stuff on it.
I finally found out who did it when I hid in the bushes outside the pool and listened in on them.
So, what're some good revenge ideas? I was thinking of more messing with their mind. If I could get an old plague doctor outfit, I could stare at his window in the middle of the culdesac (I have no idea how to spell that), and leave cards, like business cards, outside his house that plainly say 'Witness.' on them. Then maybe escalate it; stand closer to his house each night, put more and more cards on his house, maybe even get a few IN his house.

Any ideas?

I would like a copy of your mug shot as soon as it's available plz

You could beat in his head with a large rock and then sodomize his corpse with pieces of your broken phone.

Wait till he turns his back and then hit him in the back of his head with your fist.

break into his house and rape him

So far I'm liking the sodomizing idea... :orgasm

I thought you would, you sick fuck.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GRADUATE MIDDLE SCHOOL BEFORE YOU PLAN REVENGES. :rolleyes

Stalk him in a Miku Hatsune costume.

PEE IN THE POOL

TAKE A DUMP IN HIS SHOE

DUCT TAPE HIM TO A POLE

GO OLD SKOOL AND SHI* DOWN HIS CHIMNEY

IGNORE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS AND SHIT UP HIS CHIMNEY

SET SOME PIGS LOOSE IN THE HALLS AND PAINT THEM WITH NUMBERS 1, 2, and 4

PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE; LIKE A MAN

DO IT

How illegal would punji stakes under his doormat be? Really illegal, or kinda illegal? Would the lack of feces coating look better to a judge?

YOU SHOULD TIE HIM TO A CHAIR AND DANCE TO OLD MUSIC THEN CUT OFF HIS EAR WITH A RAZOR

Bonus points if he stops screaming for a second when he gets the reference.

YOU SHOULD HOARD YOUR SHIT UNTIL YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO FILL A BATHTUB AND DROWN IN IT.

Eh, you just broke your own combo. Good job, LOSER.

AND THEN ALMOST LigHT HIM ON FIRE BUT GET SHOT BY A RAT

not a good plan :(

UNLESS YOU"RE SOME KIND OF PSYCHOPATH

Mail a bill for a replacement phone to his parents?

And cul-de-sac was spelled right.

Sounds like instead of thinking up revenge fantasies on the Internet you need to actually grow a pair and demand he buy you a new phone/punch him in the face.