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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Guitar Woman Jan 26th, 2006 01:38 AM

I just wanted you guys to see my MSpaint masterpiece :(

Also I'm gonna do a story once I come up with some ideas :(

GADZOOKS Jan 26th, 2006 01:41 AM

I hope it's a bedtime story because I'm fucking tired of you!

Seven Force Jan 26th, 2006 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman
I just wanted you guys to see my MSpaint masterpiece :(

Also I'm gonna do a story once I come up with some ideas :(

The bathroom at work is an odd place. One minute you’re working with someone the next your hear them in a stall farting out shit with their pants around their ankles. You look for shoes and wonder, “Who is that person with the obvious gastrointestinal problems?” One day I walked into the bathroom and heard someone in a stall rustling a newspaper and shamelessly blasting away with heavy breathing and everything. I knock on the stall door and ask if he’s ok. He seems startled and tells me he’s fine. I put a hand under the stall door and ask him to slap me five on some excellent doody making. He kind of kicks my hand away and asks who I am. I pound on the door demanding to be let in. I tell him I want to see his work and I want to see him in action. He tells me that I’m not funny and tells me go away. I tell him he is an excellent doody maker. I ask him if his doody is stooly. He now seems angered and demands to know who I am. I go over to the urinal and grab a cake and lob it over into his stall. He screams an Ag and seems upset. He tells me fuck you.

I kick the door in and see Peter (a Vice President!) all in his most vulnerable. He stares back at me and asks me what the hell I’m doing. I tell him I want to be involved with his doody. He wants to know why I’m doing this. I tell him he has no respect for doody. I tell him that everyday a doody gives you pleasure and he’s an inconsiderate fuck. I club him with a fist over his head and knock him off the toilet. He tries to get up and run but his pants around his ankles are presenting a problem. I grab him by his head and dunk his head face first into the toilet. I tell him to look at the doody. He bubbles a scream back at me so I shove his face further into the toilet mushing his face into the doody - then yank him up gasping. His face has some doody stuck to it and I pull him up by his tie and stumble him across the bathroom to the smack his face into the mirror. Look at yourself doody face! look at you! Respect the doody! I tell him! RESPECT!

I pull his head back and then smash it into the mirror. The shards of glass cut up his face and brown and blood are running down his cheeks. He seems very surprised and stunned. What a turn of events! One second making doody the next you got toilet water all over your face and doody and you’re bleeding and you’re having a problem! I throw him back into the stall and hold his face over the toilet. I yell at him to look at the doody! He tells me to let him up. I tell him to look at it. He screams back OK OK I’m looking. I ask him what he sees and he tells me he doesn’t see shit. I grab a hunk of his doody and shove it in his face. I ask him again what he sees and he tells me he sees SHIT OK I SEE MY SHIT! That’s right. I tell him YOUR DOODY! And is it beautiful? I ask him. He tells me that it is beautiful. I ask him if its brown he tells me yes yes it’s brown its brown! That’s right fucker that’s your doody and it’s brown. AND BEAUTIFUL show it some goddamn respect! I respect you doody he tells it. Damn right I say. Now clean yourself up I tell him you look terrible and you’re embarrassing the doody. Doody is modest I tell him. That’s what makes it so beautiful. I am so excited all this activity makes me want to doody. Some may say I am doodyfixated or perhaps a bit overly involved with the brown brown - well if you ever hear anyone speaking such blasphemy you point ‘em out and I’ll make sure they learn proper.

camacazio Jan 26th, 2006 01:48 AM

I didn't read all that.

camacazio Jan 26th, 2006 01:48 AM

I didn't read ANY of it.

GADZOOKS Jan 26th, 2006 01:52 AM

My joke was funnier because mine is based on real events.

Pub Lover Jan 26th, 2006 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by camacazio
I didn't read ANY of it.

You're better off than I. For reading it was done by me, and slight sickness was felt. Not nice was the story of Brian's Doody Duty.

PS. When I say Duty it doesn't sound like Doody as Duty has a T. Also I do not say Doody.

Sam Jan 26th, 2006 01:56 AM

Seven Force's doody story reminded me of Chuck Palhniuk. :(

lunlun Jan 26th, 2006 02:27 AM

Ich muss durch den monsuuuuun hinter die weeeelt
bis ans ende der zeiiiiit bis kein regen mehr fäääälllt.

Seven Force Jan 26th, 2006 02:29 AM

Onan is that you? :lol

camacazio Jan 26th, 2006 09:16 PM

HEY GUYS PLAY BIONIC COMMANDO WHILE LISTENING TO JUNGLE BOOGIE IT'S GREAT

Esuohlim Jan 27th, 2006 09:36 AM

Hey guys what we need on this board is someone who makes a german reference in every single post

Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 10:10 AM

Sir, I believe you have failed to notice that we are a community made up of characters with only a single joke each. If you were to deprive... Oh fuck this! >:

MetalMilitia Jan 27th, 2006 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Sir, I believe you have failed to notice that we are a community made up of characters with only a single joke each.

Thats a startlingly accurate summary of I-mockey :O

Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia
Thats a startlingly accurate summary of I-mockey :O

It was also a startlingly bad start to an awfully bad attempt at a joke, which I thankfully gave up on at it's midpoint. :(

Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin
yeah hands off buddy she's privately owned by a queer halfway across the world.

:lol

A much better joke is that. :(

...or 'me' if you will. ;<

Esuohlim Jan 27th, 2006 10:43 AM

Haha post that picture of you again with half a beard

Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 12:10 PM


Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 12:37 PM

I must be in a good mood or high or something, because I don't think I look like a sack of shit in that picture. :(

Oh, & apparently that wasn't the pic I posted last year, go figure.

Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 01:11 PM

In fact I was right about using the above pic. I must of been really in need of approval that day. :lolfrown

MetalMilitia Jan 27th, 2006 01:19 PM

Why do you only have one half of a beard?

Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 01:22 PM


Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia
Why do you only have one half of a beard?

Quote:

Originally Posted by On September the 20th of the year 2005 Pub Lover apparently
[blog]I've been pulling out the hairs on the rightside of my face for a few weeks now, it looks awful, & it stings a little, but it's... not fun or enjoyable, more preoccupying. Yeah, I'm just keeping myself preoccupied till I finally kick off. I also haven't cut my hair since that time I posted a picture of my new hair cut. My roots are really long. Oh & I'm not showering enough, or changing my clothes so I stink & have greasy hair. Ladies.[/blog]

I haven't shaved for a couple of months as I'm waiting for a new digiatal camera, but I assure you it's almost equal on both sides at the moment. :(

Pub Lover Jan 27th, 2006 02:19 PM

Everytime the board goes down I kinda panic & IM people I haven't spoken to for months just to ask if it's down for them too.

...because I fear that I'm banned again. :(

MetalMilitia Jan 27th, 2006 02:27 PM

A harrowing experience for all concerned.


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