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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Esuohlim Aug 17th, 2007 04:24 AM

A friend of mine has two girlfriends now. He doesn't want to give up either for the other, and everybody involved is perfectly happy with the situation >:

And they're both very attractive too >:

God just seriously cannot exist, because what kind of fucking idiot God would give an atheist two girlfriends? >:

And no, no no no, no no, no no, no, no no, the thought of a threesome sickens him >:

I need better friends they all make me so goddamn angry all the time >: >: >: :x

Esuohlim Aug 17th, 2007 04:25 AM

This is some Maury Povich shit

Esuohlim Aug 17th, 2007 04:27 AM

Hey guys it's 4:30am what did you all go to bed or something.

Gawd I have to talk to Rankeri of all people

kahljorn Aug 17th, 2007 06:23 AM

what's up esulohime sorry i wasn't here to make your day ;)

Fathom Zero Aug 17th, 2007 07:23 AM

Yay! School!

FartinMowler Aug 17th, 2007 05:43 PM

I went to a "jam night" to play my bass and it was a very scary experience. I felt for Emu when he had a panic attack going through Atlanta even though when I went through I picked rush hour and it was bumper to bumper :\. So I get the balls to go down to a Jam night with my hand made Italian fucking loud bitchen bass amp and set up and everything seems cool. I order a beer and relaxed on a bench/bar table thing and watch bitch face organizer do her stupid acoustic "original material" boring shit. Another stupid ass Acoustic douche bag idiot recognizes me from the stupid ass Facebook@com faggot site and say's "Hey I recognizes you from the Facesbookcom" I ignore him politely but give him the thumbs up and a look of "hey you might be cool enough to play with me someday". Bitch face is on stage and I'm behind her thinking "this is the only place I would ever be comfortable" and proceed to accompany her and then she turns her head very quickly and mouths something...I can't hear her and she say's something again and I say "huh?" and she say's "don't play" and I say "why" and then she says "you have never heard the song before so you wouldn't know the changes" and I left :|

Perndog Aug 17th, 2007 05:46 PM

I friended Fartin on Facebook as soon as I read that post. :) He has his bass in his profile picture for easy identification!!

FartinMowler Aug 17th, 2007 05:58 PM

I didn't receive it :\ Soundtest has been my friend and hasn't posts for a while...I found a drummer who was my best friend from when I was a kid and his profile says he likes men but he was candy for the lady's when I knew him >:

I got it...never mind.

zeldasbiggestfan Aug 18th, 2007 02:22 AM

Microwaved Grape: she is so good looking you don't even care about how she is smoking hot
monobrow0101: She cant take pictures because the flash makes her go into a seizure
Microwaved Grape: hey fuck you in a japanese bukkake house ok
Microwaved Grape direct connection is closed.
Microwaved Grape signed off at 1:10:16 AM.

At first I laughed really hard, then I found out he was really pissed.


Guitar Woman Aug 18th, 2007 02:25 AM


Guitar Woman Aug 18th, 2007 02:29 AM


ItalianStereotype Aug 18th, 2007 02:31 AM

argh guys I'm bored WHAT TO DO

Guitar Woman Aug 18th, 2007 02:32 AM


ItalianStereotype Aug 18th, 2007 02:34 AM

the only game I have on my ds right now is elite beat agents D:

Guitar Woman Aug 18th, 2007 02:35 AM


ItalianStereotype Aug 18th, 2007 02:38 AM

yeah well you don't, so you're just wasting my time

zeldasbiggestfan Aug 18th, 2007 02:50 AM

Do you have Mario Kart, cause I really wanna play.

GADZOOKS Aug 18th, 2007 02:05 PM

It's time to play "Guess what his Kart Logo" is brought to you by ABC's Geico Cavemen Hour


A) A poorly drawn version of the Triforce
B) A poorly drawn version of Link
C) A poorly drawn version Silent Bob from the Clerks Cartoon
or D) A gun

Text your answers now

Emu Aug 18th, 2007 02:15 PM



RaNkeri Aug 18th, 2007 02:41 PM

Either a or b...

But since I doubt that ZBF knows how to draw geometrical symbols, I'll go with b.

Noodles Aug 18th, 2007 04:05 PM

Im quite sure its A

Guitar Woman Aug 18th, 2007 04:19 PM

I've played against him, and it is A.

GADZOOKS Aug 18th, 2007 05:30 PM

I'm picking A, but I am pretty sure that Big Tuggins has attempted to draw all four.

zeldasbiggestfan Aug 18th, 2007 08:32 PM

It actually is A. Wonderful job Gadzooks.

GADZOOKS Aug 19th, 2007 12:18 AM

I hate when a mean joke turns into a sad reality. :sleep

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2007 04:24 AM

A Christian rock band was having a jam session tonight in the warehouse next to the restaurant where I work.

While I was closing up and taking out the garbage, we noticed that the entourage consisted of twelve teenagers, two middle aged women with huge asses and pink sweatpants, an old guy and one incredibly creepy middle-aged man armed with a pomeranian, standing outside the door and praising Jesus. The only song I heard them play was a horrible rendition of "Why can't we be Friends" (dragged out to fifteen-twenty minutes). This was followed by previously mentioned old guy running past me with no pants on while I took out the garbage, which in turn was followed by three of the previously mentioned teenagers running out to apologize profusely.

Blah blah blah, stay the fuck away from Oregon.

MarioRPG Aug 19th, 2007 09:11 AM

Eeeeeeew, sweatpants.

Seven Force Aug 19th, 2007 02:12 PM

That's an awesome avatar you have there mario

Emu Aug 19th, 2007 02:20 PM

Is yours supposed to be that guy from the What What in the Butt video?

Rongi Aug 19th, 2007 02:22 PM

I thought it was Keenan from Keenan and Kel

Misdemonar Aug 19th, 2007 05:48 PM

its a black guy that's all we need to know

Chojin Aug 19th, 2007 05:52 PM


Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan (Post 501222)
It actually is A. Wonderful job Gadzooks.


Misdemonar Aug 19th, 2007 05:55 PM

sup sup sup

Seven Force Aug 20th, 2007 12:42 AM


Originally Posted by Emu (Post 501267)
Is yours supposed to be that guy from the What What in the Butt video?

Yes it is

Matt Harty Aug 20th, 2007 01:41 PM

oh yea baby rub my pussy

liquidstatik Aug 20th, 2007 02:15 PM

mm u make me soo w*t

MockMeAmadeus Aug 20th, 2007 02:43 PM

Shit, I got King Kong in tha trunk.:love

Fathom Zero Aug 21st, 2007 04:54 PM

I just coughed up a loogie as big as my thumb.

Want to know about my other expectorations? Click the link.

Mockery Aug 22nd, 2007 04:55 PM

We just reached 6000 members. 500 of which are surely spambots trying to create accounts, but still. we all like nice round numbers like that.


liquidstatik Aug 22nd, 2007 04:58 PM


MarioRPG Aug 22nd, 2007 05:04 PM

Heeell yea

Shyandquietguy Aug 22nd, 2007 06:26 PM

I love the fact that I'm enough of a sociopath to not even try to follow along with topical shit anymore. I'm starting to hate that fact of my life and I'm often hoping that I'll be able to stop myself and think before even acting on a response. Do you guys think that sociopathy is more of a phase? I can't even remember how long I've been like this. I think I'm turning around, but on the other hand it's more of thinking the right thing to say that's even remotely entertaining on the basis of what's going around. Then again, I am constantly around people who worship Mind of Mencia or Quentin Tarintino.

Shyandquietguy Aug 22nd, 2007 06:29 PM

Wait, maybe I'm not too sociopathic for this forum after all!

liquidstatik Aug 22nd, 2007 06:32 PM

maybe you're just way too gay

liquidstatik Aug 22nd, 2007 06:32 PM

im jk bro

Shyandquietguy Aug 22nd, 2007 06:48 PM

They're slowly updating filters here. Soon I won't be able to "hang" with anybody on the internet, which I've actually never really done on a forum before.

Nothing interests me anymore.

liquidstatik Aug 22nd, 2007 06:50 PM

you need god

Shyandquietguy Aug 22nd, 2007 06:52 PM

My family took me to church when I was young and I never really knew which branch of Christianity we were.

We were Mormons.

Moobs Aug 22nd, 2007 07:43 PM

where am i ;o

Shyandquietguy Aug 22nd, 2007 08:12 PM


Misdemonar Aug 23rd, 2007 02:41 AM

sup liquidz

MockMeAmadeus Aug 23rd, 2007 02:46 AM

Congratulations :rock

MockMeAmadeus Aug 23rd, 2007 02:47 AM

Fuck, I'm stupid. The above in reply to the 6000 registered members. It has all to do with the F5 key, right.

Grislygus Aug 23rd, 2007 03:31 AM


liquidstatik Aug 23rd, 2007 09:56 AM


Originally Posted by Misdemonar (Post 501988)
sup liquidz

yooo, wudoin?

FartinMowler Aug 23rd, 2007 06:49 PM

I'm as sick as a dog today :( I had diahrea yesterday and today I've been having cold chills.

Rongi Aug 23rd, 2007 07:02 PM

Hey fartin, i think you have officially threatened to leave this place more than anyone here.


Chojin Aug 23rd, 2007 07:48 PM


Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 501939)
I love the fact that I'm enough of a sociopath to not even try to follow along with topical shit anymore. I'm starting to hate that fact of my life and I'm often hoping that I'll be able to stop myself and think before even acting on a response. Do you guys think that sociopathy is more of a phase? I can't even remember how long I've been like this. I think I'm turning around, but on the other hand it's more of thinking the right thing to say that's even remotely entertaining on the basis of what's going around. Then again, I am constantly around people who worship Mind of Mencia or Quentin Tarintino.

You're anti-social, not a sociopath, you little weiner.

FartinMowler Aug 23rd, 2007 08:38 PM

Just got back from the Walk in clinic...Stomach flu. And yes Rongi that is something you can't take away from me like they did your precious post count.

Sethomas Aug 23rd, 2007 08:59 PM

Grislygus, from my own experience I just know that there's a big difference between not knowing how to approach people in social contexts and having persistent mental images of what their faces would look like with their cheeks and lips cut off. As for what's a phase and what's personality, I wouldn't really know because medication has fucked me up at some points and helped me at others.

Grislygus Aug 23rd, 2007 11:12 PM

That narrows things down a bit. Allright shyandquietguy, have you ever imagined Carlos Mencia with his lips torn off? Wait, that's not a fair question. Have you ever imagined anyone else with their lips torn off?

Really? And you masturbated? Gross.

Grislygus Aug 23rd, 2007 11:13 PM

In that case you are Against the Law

Shyandquietguy Aug 24th, 2007 07:12 PM


Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 502084)
You're anti-social, not a sociopath, you little weiner.

I'll steal from your store from whatever corner market you work in. (That response is not based on your avatar, I am not that crude.)

Grislygus Aug 24th, 2007 07:54 PM

Against the Law

kahljorn Aug 24th, 2007 07:56 PM

Sociopathy is like Psychopathy. It's usually caused when parents completely neglect and abuse their children. Children who were molested can sometimes become sociopaths. Sociopaths are characterized by their complete disregard for anything other than themselves. So, for example, they would rip someone's lips off because it makes them feel good, and the pain the other person feels isn't something that causes the sociopath to feel sympathy. Usually sociopaths have no sympathy or emotional connections with other people, and they have no social norms or values -- they only value themselves.

I'm almost positive you can't be cured of sociopathy, but who knows, maybe it could be made less severe or something. A lot of famous murderers are sociopaths.

Chojin Aug 24th, 2007 09:18 PM

They also don't have appropriate emotional reactions to events, as they often have to train themselves to respond to things the way normal people would. So no, even if you came into my corner store and stole your daily XXL hoagie instead of purchasing it, it still doesn't make you CUHRAAAZY, it only makes you cheap as well as fat.

Chojin Aug 24th, 2007 09:20 PM

By the way I am a big boy with a big boy job in case you were wondering! How did your interview with Target go?

Guitar Woman Aug 24th, 2007 10:04 PM

That sounds like me

Am I a sociopath, Chojin

Shyandquietguy Aug 25th, 2007 12:14 AM

I'm going to be an automotive technician after my schooling is done.

Grislygus Aug 25th, 2007 02:39 AM

A sociopathic automotive technician.

Grislygus Aug 25th, 2007 02:40 AM



FartinMowler Aug 25th, 2007 09:08 AM

Day 3 of my Stomach flu

MarioRPG Aug 25th, 2007 09:51 AM


Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 502247)
A sociopathic automotive technician.

I think I saw a movie like that.

MockMeAmadeus Aug 25th, 2007 12:39 PM

Keep "Shrek" out of this. ok?

MockMeAmadeus Aug 25th, 2007 12:41 PM

I need help. I'm a sociopath!

ArrowX Aug 25th, 2007 02:20 PM

Hey guys any tips on how not to die living in east Indian town while I'm at the colleges?

FartinMowler Aug 25th, 2007 03:54 PM

I'd worry about failing with that shit grammar and get yourself an Indian girlfriend :orgasm

ArrowX Aug 25th, 2007 05:04 PM

Like I'm gonna take syntax and grammar seriously on these boards? Stick to raising you hick-shit children fartin.

But any tips from the big city mockers?

MattJack Aug 25th, 2007 06:48 PM

don't have blonde hair and blue eyes?

Fathom Zero Aug 25th, 2007 06:57 PM

Just hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control.

Magreaux Aug 25th, 2007 07:04 PM

Okay man listen up, I grew up in NYC so I know a thing or two about big city survival. There's one thing you can do that will definitely keep ruffians from messing with you. Buy the smallest map possible of whatever bumf*ck little "big city" it is you'll be living in, like one that can fit in your wallet if it's possible (a map of the bus routes will work wonders). Whenever you find yourself walking down a sidewalk be sure to stare endlessly at this map and look as confused and/or blustered as possible, eyes darting from the map in your palm (it's gotta be THAT tiny), to the nearest street sign, back to the map, then over your shoulder all anxiously (it doesn't matter which shoulder but you should definitely try to alternate), then back to the map ET CETERA the entire duration of your travel. It helps if you sweat a lot while doing this. Don't ever let up. Nobody will touch you.

Perndog Aug 25th, 2007 08:16 PM

I always thought Indians we're pretty nonviolent. Unless you're talking about east Indians as in the ones that come from Massachusetts and killed all those settlers in the 1600s in which case you're totally fucked.

Fathom Zero Aug 25th, 2007 09:17 PM

And to think I was totally serious about what I was saying.

And happy birthday, Blue Fox!

GADZOOKS Aug 25th, 2007 10:10 PM

If any more zeldasbiggestcharacters PM me I'm going to get my gun!

MarioRPG Aug 25th, 2007 10:14 PM

I'm watching Night Of The Creeps and so far it is looking pretty damn awesome. And hilarious.

Sethomas Aug 25th, 2007 10:32 PM

My sister lived in the East Indies (Grenada) for med school. They were the nicest people she'd ever met, until the hurricane came and they decapitated her local friend to loot the grocery store he was guarding.

kahljorn Aug 25th, 2007 10:32 PM

ya chojin it's like american psycho the movie.

GADZOOKS Aug 26th, 2007 12:07 AM

So how many of you guys can smoke weed without coughing? According to ZBF, if you cough you are a pussy.

Sam Aug 26th, 2007 12:09 AM

No wonder ZBF is good at smoking weed, he invented fire.

GADZOOKS Aug 26th, 2007 12:14 AM




Fathom Zero Aug 26th, 2007 12:18 AM


Sam Aug 26th, 2007 12:20 AM

Rongi: i'm sure that joke is going to go right over his head too
Sam: much like a pteradactyl with his younger brother
Rongi: hahahaha
Rongi: you're on fire tonight

GADZOOKS Aug 26th, 2007 12:21 AM


Fathom Zero Aug 26th, 2007 01:07 AM

Just kidding, I like the Reds.

Rongi Aug 26th, 2007 01:09 AM


Fathom Zero Aug 26th, 2007 01:11 AM

Will do.

Yggdrasill Aug 26th, 2007 02:33 AM

Jesus Christ I just found out firsthand that some earwigs can fly.

Emu Aug 26th, 2007 10:36 AM

Those things don't actually crawl into your ear you know

Rongi Aug 26th, 2007 01:11 PM

That doesnt change the fact that they are fucking disgusting :(

ArrowX Aug 26th, 2007 01:26 PM

At my grandfathers cabin in BC, they chill in the bathroom and investigate you when you use the toilet. :(

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