A young female reporter from a British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about Finnish soldiers returning from the Winter War. Interviewing one infantry-man, Jussi, she asked
"When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing you did?"
"I screwed my wife," Jussi replied bluntly.
The journalist went red, and tried to change the subject.
"After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"
"I screwed her again," he answered.
The journalist turned an even darker shade of red.
"Other than that! Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"
"I took off my skis and had a beer."

it's like a clown tried to fuck a tanning bed

♫ Marge becomes a robot ♫
♫ Moe could get a cell phone ♫
♫ Some kind of crazy wedding ♫

I know a lot of people in my classes who should be named this

And of course we know about Chernobyl, that's where those evil Ruskie sumbitches fucked up. What are you, French? And 9 Mile Island was an honest mistake

:lol

i heard from a reliable internet source that chernobyl was actually caused by an alien crash landing or mishaped alien technology and that the guberments have been trying to keep it covered up for years

just as long as the Reds were in on it

what the hell is a chernobyl

SLIMY STARFUCKERS AN THER GODDAMN COMMIE NUCULAR POWERED AIR CASTLES

if they know that you know you'll be in trouble :eek

I GOT A FUKIN TWELVE GAUGE WITH THEIR NAMES ON IT AH TELL YOU WHAT

I've been popping caps in Russian ass all morning.

If you've ever been enlightened by Invasion USA, you know that at no time does Chuck Norris go fight in Washington D.C.

Fuck Chuck Norris, Hickman to the rescue

I had radiation therapy for spinal cord cancer when I was 3- basically everything in my head neck and chest was in the line of fire.

spinal cord cancer at the age of 3?

Seriously, holy shit

Are you like She Hulk now?

Spinal cord cancer at the age of zero, I was born with it. They just didn't realize that was what was wrong with me till it had grown for 3 years and I was already paralyzed.

Mom was exposed to a carcinogen while pregnant with me. She's on cancer #5 herself.

And no, I don't have any superpowers other than spectacular tooth sensitivity. Mom says I used to be able to make televisions and radios go staticky when I walked past them.

I'll bet all the superpowers are latent.

How severe was it at worst? If you were born with it did it have any metastases by the time you were diagnosed with it?

I also must note that, while damaged, my teeth are not a funny light green color. They're fairly white. You just have to peel me off the ceiling if the wrong thing touches them.

I got a substitute dental hygienist. While nice, she did give me a tooth health report card. It was traffic-light themed. I got a green light for gum health. After I left I remembered I left it in the chair :/

Why does everyone else get all the cool diseases :(

When I was first born I guess they knew something was amiss, and they thought it was MS. So they tested me for MS and I came out clean for that, so they sent me home.

Then my mom gave birth to premature twins and they died (which is exactly what would happen to me 30 years later), and around that time I started dragging one leg. Mom took me to the doctor, who said I was just trying to get attention back on myself after my brother and sister's death and that Mom should put me in daycare and go to work. Repeat x2 years.

Finally, I just went paralyzed one day. Mom freaked out and took me to the ER at an actual decent hospital, they did a myelogram and...oops, it was spinal cord cancer all along.

Tadao: want it? I'll switch.

I wouldn't call alcoholism a disease, tadao :rolleyes

I wonder how many I-Mock vets don't show up anymore because they died :eek

:rolleyes And when will it be my turn :rolleyes

Confession Time: I enjoyed "A Walk in the Clouds".

I thought Indiana Jones 4 was ok

We can breed and forge a super evil child.

Jefferson Airplane is the only good band

name 3 good songs

Hot Tuna is the only good thing to come from Jefferson Airplane.

shopping hungry was a bad idea, I came home with a bunch of absolute shit :(

White Rabbit, Embryonic Journey, Wooden Ships

and pretty much everything else

Embryonic Journey is basically Hot Tuna.
White Rabbit really does suck ass.
Wooden Ships is only good because CS&N made it sound good.

bitch bitch bitch

Seriously, you don't like Jefferson Airplane, you actually like Hot Tuna and don't even know it.

JEFFERSON STARSHIP



FUCK YEAH

The guy on the far left looks like one of my great aunts!

that can't be his real hair

i like how guitar woman is always finding some typical thing to identify himself with pretentiously ;/

Finland should know who Hot Tuna is :(

If I would open my butthole for a young Jorma.

how dare you enjoy things

you pretentious faggot

Now you can go to another forum and pretend to like Hot Tuna and actually look cool.

You are welcome :picklehat

So let's see here, you hate Cream and despise Eric Clapton, but Jefferson Airplane is right up your alley? I imagine that Jimi Hendrix had nothing on the Mamas and the Papas

You can even say things like, America's Choice is the greatest acoustic to electric crossover album ever. It should go down as one of the greatest acid rocks albums just underneath Jimi Hendrix's Electric Ladyland!

In other music news, having now heard George Lynch's cover of Paranoid, I am now more than certain that every single member of Dokken, ever, in any lineup, will suck Satan's balls in eternal hellfire

California Dreamin's got me dreamin! Denny Doherty, take me away

And someone played a Beach Boys song
On the jukebox
It was "California Dreamin'"
So we started screamin'
"On such a winter's day"

One of my favorite songs. That and some Moody Blues will put me in a depression very easily.

I have a story about going to see the Moody Blues front row that involves,

Entering Mexico, almost smoking pot with them, and stink foot.

You, me, Hemingway, a bobsled. Remember those days?

I thought you forgot about that! :lol

:x

Probably not, seeing as Hendrix is a boring faggot who sucks

Nice to see nothing's changed in the last couple of weeks.

Still rather listen to him than Cream, though.

Don't you remember Paris? You, me, Hemingway, the shiny tugboat.

GW, I see that you still edit the fuck out of your posts.

"Pretentious Faggot" would be a good band name.

I know, where'd you go? I missed you Packie.

The Sports Forum needs you, Pac-Man!

Just kidding! We hope you never come back.

It never rains in southern california

My computer ate shit and I couldn't remember my password (or else I would've logged on from elsewhere). I was upset that I couldn't discuss the super bowl with you weirdos.

Look what my dog did last night...to a HARD METAL PIE PAN.






I called the vet and they said there's nothing we can do except watch her for signs of distress. How soon is the distress supposed to happen? She killed the pie pan 9 hours ago.

Well, I guess you could try giving her something that she'd love to eat. If she doesn't eat it could be because of the pain. Probably checking her feces for any blood would be a good idea too. However if she acts normally I'd guess it would be safe to say that she didn't swallow any metal.

She's been eating normally and has one normal crap out in the yard since, so I have no idea. I've been feeding her bits of bread and cheese, thinking if there was any metal in there the bread/cheese might bind to it and cushion it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjYvYtY_AnM

"Is this real life? Only now I have two fingers."

I've felt that way coming out of the dentist's myself.

Feed the dog magnets. Hope this helps.

Does anyone have a clue if there was a Ren and Stimpy episode about appendicitus?

Yes there is.

take it to the base




take it to the base

Nevermind. It was Rocko's modern life.

About to relive a childhood trauma!

No it wasn't

It wasn't?

Don't you dare question me woman!

I just put my hat on the bed :eek

That's just like putting your foot down?

Bad luck according to Drug Store Cowboy

I KNEW IT!

yeah, what a complete and utter bastard

This dogs face is just too awesome.

My cocker spaniel used to get the snow-ball things on his legs. Weird. The poodle doesn't.

You're right, it is an awesome face.

The eyes are so contradictory to the mouth.

Hoona Igna Chowa Neha

Are you guys HAPPY today

I am

I'm meh.

I would like to be happier.

I saw an unconcious/dead guy in a Starbucks today, that was pretty funny

Jesus christ, are you two ALWAYS on this website

That is bad advertisement for caffeine.

we make use of the internet while recharging our rascal scooters.

:lol