:( ima miss you homie.

My friend has that thing too so I don't see him that often.

take care dude...

throw lots of feces at the mental hospital employees for me :tear

AMEN

I will have one dick of a chaunakaaka for you. Get better soon :(

That's shit Koko, hope to see you better by the new year. :\

Yeah, I'm setting it up with a local crazy house now. Should be fun, although they want me to remove all drawstrings and belts from any pants. This should be a problem because all the clothes I wear are 5 sizes too big due to chojin's stupid workout deal. I'm gonna be walking around the halls with my pants falling off if I don't decide to buy new pants before I go.

just wear those pajamas that they give to everyone

the light blue ones

Nah, people wear whatever they want there. They don't give clothes to wear.

WHATS A MENtAL INSTitUTION WIThOUT COMPLIMENtARY PAJAMAS

thats why you gotta go there naked.

free pajamas plus they'll know you mean business

Free pajamas are cold. Dress warm, optimally in layers.

Need some of those forever lazy's

https://www.orderforeverlazy.com/

well, I'm back for a little bit. sup, guys?

Back from viewing a lights display at a little village. Highlight of the trip was a woman puking in the garbage can outside Santa's workshop.

Whats up

Hi William and all of I-mockery, what is up?

Is ThrashO ShyandQuietGuy now? What's going on here?

A whole lotta nothing. I still want to go see the Rum Diary.

I am saddened to see you are going in the looney bin k0k0, you have been interesting during a period of boring around here

Get better and get back here soon

I am still here. I gotta prepare and make sure I get this sinus infection gone for good first. Seeing the ENT again tomorrow. Hopefully no more surgery.

best of luck k0k0man

I now wish I signed up for Secret Santa so I could buy someone this

Thats not mspainted?

That's what I thought at first too


http://www.amazon.com/Microsoft-Wind...2539136&sr=8-1

I'LL GIVE JENNIFER ANISTON A PROPELLER HEAD.

MADE OUT OF MY PENIS.

I'LL GIVE JENNIFER ANISTON A MESSY DOS BUILD-UP.

I'LL GIVE JENNIFER ANISTON A PENIS IN THE SHAPE OF A PENIS.

I would make change her name jennifer analston and sodomize her with the bonesaw

you and your sodomy

I'd like to strangle Jennifer Aniston with a belt if you know what I mean.

Also, k0k0, they should give you some of those shitty little plastic ties to help you keep your shoes and clothes on. Hopefully they'll have something for you to do, when I was in the nuthouse all there was to do besides three sessions of group therapy and inedible meals was to pace up and down the hall.

Last time I was there, I brought like 6 books and read through them all. It wasn't until I finished my last book that I wanted out of there. It was funny to see what everyone else was having to do. There were big black dudes who were suicidal or something coloring with crayons. Lots of crosswords using those little mini golf pencils. They really don't give you much to do. The meals were really great at the one I went to. Although now that I know that I have a wheat allergy, it'll suck to pick out the edible stuff.

The hospital I was in wouldn't let me have any books :(. They couldn't even get their story straight on why not, either. One doctor told me it because I was supposed to spend that time on "self-reflection" (Twelve days of self reflection seems like overkill) and another told me it was because I could sneak a razor blade in a book. I pretty much lied through my teeth to get out of there, I couldn't stand the boredom and smell of piss any longer and this place wasn't even a public hospital!

Also they kept me in a ward with the junkies and suicidal people, and put all of the delusional psychotics in their own little locked hall, I couldn't imagine having to deal with the screamers and seizure people on top of all that.

My therapist wouldn't let me have anything to read because he was afraid I'd get lost in fantasy and shirk my therapy, which I was already doing anyway via stalking the pretty schizophrenic girl down the hall who had screaming seizures a lot.

Fuck him, though, I managed to smuggle Dune and Inferno out of the ward library. I probably got more lasting mental stimulation out of those books and talking about drugs with my cokehead roommate than I did in 6 months of professional treatment.

Also, the water in that place tasted like plastic. I'm not even sure how it's possible to fuck up water, but they did it.

k0k0
Hope things work out.

Before I got out, I was conniving with a friend to have all of the pages from my copy of Naked Lunch pasted into a crossword puzzle book (They would let us have puzzle books, but not novels, what the fuck). Also I lied through my teeth about my drug use because they were also a drug treatment facility and I really didn't feel like schlepping through Narcotics Anonymous meetings every night because I admitted to smoking pot and using acid regularly.

Honestly, though, I think looney bins are the best places to meet really awesome and interesting people. Despite the fact that all mental ward staff members are semi-retarded and completely fucking psychotic, I'd totally get committed again if given the opportunity and if I could leave any time I wanted.

Be sure to make a good first impression with the fuckers, koko. I recommend showing up on psilocybin.

Or do this, then share the love with the most unstable patients you can find

man now i want to get put in a crazy house thanks a lot you guys >:

Being put in the crazy house wouldn't change my current lifestyle too much :(

New thread backups: http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showt...php?t=69708076

You can if you commit yourself.

now you can have all the fun you want!

Guy gave his cheating girlfriend a shitty tattoo.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...-cheating.html

Ahaha. Classic.

I hope he doesn't have to pay for damages - I can forget most of the injustices in the world if only people like that would get what they deserve.

I sent ItalianStereotype a PM, but I have to go to bed now.

Dics + bics = itch

What a bitch

for me? aw, shucks.

From what I understand from the source I got this story from (which had the same general details), he made her sign a waiver clearing him of responsibility for 'artistic interpretation'. So a decent lawyer should keep him in the clear. Her story of "he got me drunk" will be difficult to prove, while the signed waiver is physical evidence. Sounds open and shut to me anyway.

Also, I liked the comment "well she shit on him first"

Awww, turns out the tattoo story may in fact be a hoax :(

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/883324-...timate-revenge

Dayton has enough tattoo drama. There was a big craigslist battle between a divorcing couple, tattoo artists. They accused each other of all kinds of things- one had hep c, the other one was so drugged-up they couldn't even walk straight, blah blah blah.

It never made any Dayton news that I know of.

I assume all tattoo artists have hep c

The one who did my mom's was in a "liberal" town and she was fairly nice.

Mom had to have a bunch of her back removed for cancer stuff and she stuck an atomic symbol on the damage.

All right, you know what? Sobriety is fucking elephant shit, and it has no place in my life. I haven't felt this fucking low since I was forcibly seperated from the first person I fell in love with. So, fuck quitting; I am relapsing as soon as possible, and I am going to continue enjoying my life and being awesome at everything I do, because I'll be on drugs all the fucking time.

Yeah, maybe I'll be a pathetic, servile junkie who only shits every 3 days and whose routine schedule is dominated by chemicals, but I don't give one goddamn fuck, because that shit improves the quality of my life in every way you can possibly imagine. Except for shitting, but I'm going to make an effort to replace my entire diet with almonds so I won't have to pass chunks of cement twice a week.

Relinquishing addiction has made me more apathetic towards life than I've ever been, even when I was a DXM tard. I don't shave, I don't write, I don't hang out with friends, I don't work, I don't do fucking anything. I'm just a miserable, joyless, cold, unproductive sack of shit who's no fun for anyone. Narcotics Anonymous can go suck the tits I wish I had.

You turned out to be everything I hoped.

Thank you, illegitimate offspring of Tom Petty!

:pagebrak

Holy shit, was the goal to not even try?

Listen, I had a bottle of high-volume Spanish wine for lunch, you can fucking bite me.

I'm just saying that there's more there besides my flowing golden locks.

Oh, I know. :orgasm

I've wondered off and on over the years how this place attracts so many people with fucked up gender identities

Hey at least I'm a manly fucking dude... who's afraid of his own shadow.

It's not my fault! I just think it'd be more interesting to be a girl, and I'd feel less disgusted by sex if ejaculation were totally removed from the equation.

Also, you could play with your own breasts for free any time you wanted! Apparently, all women enjoy doing this.

No fucking way am I transitioning, though, I've seen too many horrifying trannies to even think about fucking around with hormone therapy. If brain transplants were possible, I'd totally swap with a like-minded girl, but that will probably never happen.

I could help you with that transition after a couple bottles of sutterhome. A real nice classy transition.

There's no way I'd do a girl with a dude brain. Before you fuck em, you always check the lid, make sure they got the factory installed girl brain.

Well, even if I got myself ladybits, I still wouldn't have sex with men. The point for me would be to get away from semen, which ranks alongside zit pus as the most disgusting substance secreted by the human body.

you just haven't been tasting the right semen

That's what happens when you're sucking cock for the rock.

why do I even talk about my psychological issues here

deep-seated need for abuse?

Yeah, that's probably it.

we're all just as shitty as you anyway, pal

At least none of us are as shitty as Facebook!

This is like the fifth time it's gone down while I'm talking to this pretty girl who likes drinking with me. That website can eat shit for srs.

You gonna scissor with her?

Probably not. I've put off losing my virginity for so long that I'd probably go into conniptions if anyone so much as tried to kiss me. I'm basically terrified of it.

She's cool as fuck, though, I'm glad she beat me up while I was drunk and then forced me to be her friend.

so if you had a vagina, things would be different?

HED BE AFRAID OF HIS OWN VAGINA SHADOW

No, not really, I'd still be a sexually traumatized weirdo, but I think the allure of lesbian sex would overpower my inherent disgust with sins of the flesh.

I can't stress this enough, lesbian sex is THE BEST sex.

you should do it, bro

bro, you should do it

If you can convince a girl that you're an ugly woman, you can scissor her in the dark.

:o

WAIT A MINUTE, GUITAR WOMAN IS A DUDE????

not on the inside ;_;

Pffffthahahaha

IT'S NOT SEX UNLESS SOMEONE (NOT ME) HAS TO DO LAUNDRY WHEN IT'S OVER AND I'M FINISHED USING THEIR HAIR AS MY OWN PERSONAL CUM-DUMPSTER AND THEN I WIPE OFF THE EXCESS DIRECTLY INTO HER RETINA AND THEN I GO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND IGNORE HER FOR DAYS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN'T BE INTO SPRAYING YOUR HOT EJACULATE ALL OVER ANOTHER PERSON IN THE HEAT OF CARNAL SEX-MAKINGS.

OR EVEN WITHOUT THE SEX, JUST SNEAK UP ON SOMEONE AND CUM ON THEM.

Yeah, and we haven't even gotten into pranks pulled on people using your baby batter.

Jizzy doorknob anyone?

"baby batter" makes my skin crawl

you could always try anti-anxiety medicines or supplements of some sort

GABA, L-Theanine and Alcohol: Helps you Seal the Deal (tm)

I went on prozac today. I feel a lot more run down than usual and it really blows. From what I understand, it'll take a few weeks before I don't feel shitty.

yeah ssris take for fucking ever to get started

if you don't mind risking seratonin poisoning you could try doing a 5-htp supplement along with it to jumpstart that shitttt

don't do it for too long though because constant 5-htp use can cause damage to your heart-muscle

what about one of those towels reserved for spunk that shatter like a cracker after 6 months. does that gross you out GW?

I don't want any kind of seratonin poisoning or heart probs. I found out that my sinus infections weren't a sinus infection, so I either have a tension headache that has lasted months or I have something else fucking my head over.

it's probably not really that dangerous im jsut repeating what the labels and wikipedia and shit said

i wouldn't advocate it if i hadn't tried it on myself first

There's only one thing that I know how to do well And I've often been told that you only can do What you know how to do well And that's be you, Be what you're like, Be like yourself, And so I'm having a wonderful time But I'd rather be scissoring in the dark
scissoring in the dark
scissoring in the dark
scissoring in the dark
scissoring in the dark
scissoring in the dark
There's only one thing that I like And that is scissoring in the dark

SCISSORING SCISSORING
SCISSORING SCISSORING

DARK DARK

DARK DARK

keeping it rhheal

ZUGS

'Cause you're a protostripper/crackwhore with daddy issues?

ZUGZUGZUGZUGZ

ZUGZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS

and since it'll be dark you might be able to SEE THE CONSTELLATION RIDE ACROSS THE SKY

just make sure you don't accidentally STEP ON a SPIDER

and don't scissor so much that you miss hearing the DINNER BELL DINNER BELL RING

put your fist inside the puppet's buuuuuuuuuuuuuuutt


did I do the things right?

just be careful because they might be giant vaginas

HOW...CAN I SCISSOR LIKE A GIRL

AND NOT BE STIGMATI-I-IZED BY THE REST OF THE WORLD

oh yeah ;)

I'll show you how to rock at scissoring.