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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Pub Lover May 29th, 2011 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 723500)
GOD FUCK ASSPIES

MY LIFE IS SO HARD AND IM SO COMPLICATED THAT I NEED SOME SPECIAL DEVICE TO SIMULATE HUGS

It is the fleshlight that you can get your mom to pay for.

captain516 May 29th, 2011 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 723502)
..

haha I used to steal shit all the time when I was a kid.

Pub Lover May 29th, 2011 06:10 PM

We all did. Some of us didn't stop. >:

Grislygus May 29th, 2011 06:44 PM

I got stuck with all lows too, what the fuck >: the artist is NORMAL?!! I call bullshit.

Half of those questions weren't even "yes" or "no" answers, anyway

10,000 Volt Ghost May 29th, 2011 06:46 PM

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Thanks survey for outlining what books you need to sell me.

Esuohlim May 29th, 2011 07:13 PM

lol at the high scores for Histrionic and Narcissistic

THE CROSS-DRESSING IS STARTING TO MAKE SENSE

10,000 Volt Ghost May 29th, 2011 07:33 PM

I blame the narcissism on my fantastic ass.

Grislygus May 29th, 2011 09:14 PM

With your ass and my legs, we can rule the world

"10,000 VOLT FRANKENGUST: THE MONSTER EVERYONE'S GAY FOR



INCLUDING THE LADIES



SUMMER 2011"

kahljorn May 29th, 2011 09:15 PM

:lol

Quote:

It is the fleshlight that you can get your mom to pay for.
i was just looking at vibrators and saw that thing :O
looks like a icecream shake with a pit of sarlac in it.

Kitsa May 29th, 2011 09:35 PM

I just took their Depression one and it says I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. Maybe that's true because man, fuck winter.

Shyandquietguy May 29th, 2011 09:39 PM

I just got seasons one and two of KITH for roughly fourteen bucks.

Kitsa May 29th, 2011 09:43 PM


10,000 Volt Ghost May 29th, 2011 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 723538)
With your ass and my legs, we can rule the world

"10,000 VOLT FRANKENGUST: THE MONSTER EVERYONE'S GAY FOR



INCLUDING THE LADIES



SUMMER 2011"

:lol we'd be puttin on the ritz for sure.

Colonel Flagg May 29th, 2011 10:01 PM

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Whatever ....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 723497)
So if you put two antisocial people in a room together, will they cancel each other out

Yeah, one will kill the other.

You're getting better. This was almost funny. :shocked

Kitsa May 29th, 2011 10:03 PM

schizoid-five, col flagg.

Colonel Flagg May 29th, 2011 10:06 PM

I wouldn't be schizophrenic if all those damned voices in my head would just SHUT THE HELL UP!

Tadao May 29th, 2011 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 723486)
Forehead: Very high

:lol

Pentegarn May 29th, 2011 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 723561)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 723497)
So if you put two antisocial people in a room together, will they cancel each other out

Yeah, one will kill the other.



You're getting better. This was almost funny. :shocked

But almost doesn't count, and since you quoted him after 5:42, this counts in his clunker count so...

Jokes ruined by Pram Maven's clunker posts (from 5/29/11 5:42 PM) - 4

Fathom Zero May 30th, 2011 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 723551)
I just took their Depression one and it says I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. Maybe that's true because man, fuck winter.

I love winter and hate spring. Spring is just warm enough to disappoint you when it's only that way for a day, then goes back to being freezing the rest of the week, on top of dumping 20" of rain on you. Fuck Spring.

Kitsa May 30th, 2011 12:11 AM

I don't mind rain or transitory shitty weather. Spring is when you begin to see light at the end of the tunnel after three or four months of solid pain.

Otto May 30th, 2011 12:25 AM

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Maybe I DID deserve all those beatings as a child :(

Esuohlim May 30th, 2011 12:27 AM

Spring makes everything smell like compost, and although it's when FINE YOUNG WOMEN BEGIN TO WEAR SKIRTS AGAIN :WINK I'd still take winter over spring and summer anytime

MLE May 30th, 2011 12:46 AM



I don't know how I scored lower than like, half of you.

MLE May 30th, 2011 12:49 AM

Also, how does answering "DO YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED SOCIAL INTERACTION" with no means that you hate everyone and everything all the time forever?

executioneer May 30th, 2011 12:50 AM

i still think having it be only "yes-no" makes it entirely too easy for it to be completely wrong as ass

Esuohlim May 30th, 2011 01:14 AM

I think I'm the only one who found their results to be pretty accurate

Zhukov May 30th, 2011 01:14 AM

We all know it's wrong so people can stop taking the test now.

Tadao May 30th, 2011 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie (Post 595771)
Does it still count if I can't tell my right from my left half the time?

I don't remember this. :(

kahljorn May 30th, 2011 02:56 AM

Quote:

Also, how does answering "DO YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED SOCIAL INTERACTION" with no means that you hate everyone and everything all the time forever?
AND IF YOU ANSWER YES YOU ARE HISTRIONIC :lol

Fathom Zero May 30th, 2011 03:03 AM

Was there anything in that quiz about being electocuted? I mean, if you really like being electrocuted?

kahljorn May 30th, 2011 03:24 AM

I'd say no but then i would probably have a disease

zeldasbiggestfan May 30th, 2011 04:42 AM

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Hm. Nice.

Fathom Zero May 30th, 2011 05:54 AM

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22072

Bumped coz of spam, but it gave me douche-chills.

Pub Lover May 30th, 2011 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 723608)
I don't remember this. :(

Which is one of the reasons you stopped taking Meth.

Fathom Zero May 31st, 2011 12:25 AM

Gil Scott-Heron died Friday. :(

Kitsa May 31st, 2011 04:55 AM

It was televised, though. I saw it. I had to explain to my parents who he was :(

Fathom Zero May 31st, 2011 05:19 AM

BAH OLD BLACK MAN WTF

10,000 Volt Ghost May 31st, 2011 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 723762)
It was televised, though. I saw it. I had to explain to my parents who he was :(


I had to look him up too. Thought you meant they televised him dying.

Zhukov May 31st, 2011 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 723770)
I had to look him up too. Thought you meant they televised him dying.

Yeah, I was about to google him just to watch his death.


"Welp, 'spose I'd better watch it then."

Kitsa May 31st, 2011 02:15 PM

It was a joke that fell flat, half due to poor execution and half due to no one understanding the reference.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rev...t_Be_Televised

Fathom Zero May 31st, 2011 02:35 PM

I laughed pretty hard on the inside. I really did. Just want you to know that.

Pub Lover May 31st, 2011 03:36 PM

I got the reference in the joke. It was a real "I see what she did there" moment. I've been a bit annoyed that it took his death for his songs to get airplay. And when I say songs I mostly mean song.

It is Fats Domino all over again.

Fathom Zero May 31st, 2011 03:39 PM





He strikes me as a person who's seen things I wouldn't believe.

Esuohlim May 31st, 2011 04:34 PM

TO 7FORCE: I'm going to have to start blocking your statuses on Facebook if it means not having to read any goddamn LENOR comments

Pub Lover May 31st, 2011 05:00 PM


Pub Lover May 31st, 2011 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 723792)
TO 7FORCE: I'm going to have to start blocking your statuses on Facebook if it means not having to read any goddamn LENOR comments

He is friends with Lenor on facebook? :lol

I am glad she hasn't found me.

I would sure feel bad twice a year when I actively ignore her friend request.

Just like I to Womti's. :eek

Otto May 31st, 2011 08:31 PM

THINGS IN JAAAAAAaaaAAaaarrRs!


Nazi super-science may be a really cliched theme, but that's what I decided to go with. I know there was a Kaiser Wilhelm Institute for biochemistry, but the one for Eugenics is the more infamous one, so I used that. The German's probably all wrong, but I think it looks pretty good otherwise.



Fathom Zero May 31st, 2011 08:51 PM

Ichor is terrifying.

Tadao May 31st, 2011 08:53 PM

Too bad you don't have a fountain pen. :(

Otto May 31st, 2011 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 723808)
Too bad you don't have a fountain pen. :(

I do have one, but I draw better than I write with it. But it was written with a Rotring Rapidograph and they're German.

captain516 May 31st, 2011 09:05 PM

That looks awesome. Great job, Ottto

Tadao May 31st, 2011 09:18 PM

An old typewriter would work nicely too. They probably have an old typewriter font were the letters are at very slightly different heights.

Otto May 31st, 2011 09:29 PM

I've got one final sculpture for one of these cooking in my oven right now. I'm probably going to put this one in a fancier jar with an English label for Building 257, like the project was continued under Operation Paperclip. I'll probably drag my typewriter out of the closet to label that one.

Tadao May 31st, 2011 09:34 PM

Maybe back the ink ribbon up some so that it isn't so fresh looking.

elx Jun 1st, 2011 12:30 AM

frhjddjfrudicsdkefrfkc

Fathom Zero Jun 1st, 2011 12:34 AM

hey elx, want some nsfw dudesex?

elx Jun 1st, 2011 03:18 AM

oopsiedoodle. anyways. do any of you guys really like touch phones all that much? they always look so greasy/dirty. also, it seems like we're all associating the "touch" functionality with the intelligent interface and large screens that they come standard on, and not at all exploring or offering alternatives with the same qualities..


smartphones should come with touch-tracks separate from the screens. or joysticks. >:

Esuohlim Jun 1st, 2011 03:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 685108)
Why does Apple keep putting out stuff with touch screens on them >:

Some of us don't want to get the screens dirty with our grotesque, fat fingers >:

My opinion on touch-screens in general still stands to this day, which is why I recently got a new phone that was all the rage back in 2002 and comes with a camera :eek

LordSappington Jun 1st, 2011 03:56 AM

I don't get the hype of touch screens. Sure, you can play more games. But I can never get the damn things right; I can't text at all on them, or select anything, because I have no idea where to press and be in the hitbox or whatever you want to call it.
I'll stick with physical buttons, thank you.

Esuohlim Jun 1st, 2011 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 723831)
also, it seems like we're all associating the "touch" functionality with the intelligent interface and large screens that they come standard on, and not at all exploring or offering alternatives with the same qualities..

This kind of talk is why you should go into engineering instead of useless astrophysics. Or do BOTH :eek

Fathom Zero Jun 1st, 2011 04:14 AM

I wouldn't use anything else when it comes to screens less than 12" diagonally.

Conversely, I wouldn't use anything but a cursor and keyboard for any screen sized more than that.

Esuohlim Jun 1st, 2011 04:19 AM

Thanks for the input, GW

elx Jun 1st, 2011 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 723836)
This kind of talk is why you should go into engineering instead of useless astrophysics. Or do BOTH :eek

I am doubling it with engineering! ...just the computer kind. :)


Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 723835)
I don't get the hype of touch screens. Sure, you can play more games. But I can never get the damn things right; I can't text at all on them, or select anything, because I have no idea where to press and be in the hitbox or whatever you want to call it.
I'll stick with physical buttons, thank you.

I am stuck with one, and I had to customize my settings just to be able to get it to unlock/turn on for me. so it responds to my touch and nobody elses, which makes it impossible for others to use, just as you described. so lame. but I'm glad I'm not alone in this. :(


Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 723837)
I wouldn't use anything else when it comes to screens less than 12" diagonally.

Conversely, I wouldn't use anything but a cursor and keyboard for any screen sized more than that.

Sent from my IPad

Fathom Zero Jun 1st, 2011 05:08 AM

The iPad's only around 9 or 10. I wish it were larger. :\

Fathom Zero Jun 1st, 2011 05:08 AM

Also, fck you btch Milhouse

Zhukov Jun 1st, 2011 05:16 AM

Well I still don't get the hype that goes with text messaging.

Fathom Zero Jun 1st, 2011 05:26 AM

I stopped text messaging as soon as I stopped hooking up with this lovely girl at school. :\ Email is much more efficient for me.

EDIT: :GW, ('cept for the girl part, y'know)

Kitsa Jun 1st, 2011 09:06 AM

Horse herpes!

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/...cnn?&hpt=hp_c2

Pub Lover Jun 1st, 2011 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 723843)
Well I still don't get the hype that goes with text messaging.

I hate making bodily noises at people and I never have more than a single sentence to say at any one time. :eek

HickMan Jun 1st, 2011 01:02 PM

Texting is the future

Dimnos Jun 1st, 2011 01:25 PM

Its great because you can talk to people without having to really talking to them.

Kitsa Jun 1st, 2011 01:38 PM

I prefer it. I hate talking on the phone, so very much.

Esuohlim Jun 1st, 2011 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 723866)
SOMEONE HEARD YOUR CALL, ESULOHIME

I can't wait to spend 1 minute defecate money as often as I would bathroom :x :spambot

kahljorn Jun 1st, 2011 04:01 PM

They must have a high poker metabolism!

Chojin Jun 1st, 2011 05:11 PM

i like texting because i don't have to begin and conclude my conversations. it's just an exchange of data.

this rule doesn't apply to the retards i work with who text like they're 8 year old girls

lmao he did wut now???? smh neway

i actually have one of the guys friended on facebook and he writes his status updates like that too. i made fun of him for it for a while until that got boring

Chojin Jun 1st, 2011 05:14 PM

"smh" is probably the gayest thing to happen in the history of the written word, btw

for those of you who don't know any idiots, it's shorthand for "shaking my head." its proper use is apparently at the beginning and/or end of every sentence.

i was also hanging out with some people the other day and watching futurama, then one of them actually facepalmed a few times during the episode. later in the evening i said something about furries having no redeemable qualities and they were all "no way man i know furries and they're cool, this is the wrong group to say that in"

basically i hate everyone

kahljorn Jun 1st, 2011 07:13 PM

So I'm going to send an inventory of all the stuff i want (not all the stuff that's mine, either, just what i want) from the apartment (legally i have to tell them all the stuff that i want/try to get it before i can file charges) and I'm going to send a copy to the landlord but i don't have their address.

Would it be dramatic of me to call my ex-landlords and ask for an address I can send certified mail to? Cause they're all weepy fucks so they'll probably call my ex-girlfriend crying about it and then she'll call my grandma and be a bitch.

kahljorn Jun 1st, 2011 07:17 PM

Quote:

i was also hanging out with some people the other day and watching futurama, then one of them actually facepalmed a few times during the episode. later in the evening i said something about furries having no redeemable qualities and they were all "no way man i know furries and they're cool, this is the wrong group to say that in"
I didn't know that furries actually KNEW people other than each other on the internet. That's kind of creepy.

Otto Jun 1st, 2011 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 723882)
I didn't know that furries actually KNEW people other than each other on the internet. That's kind of creepy.

I knew a furry once when I went to public high school, but it was before I knew what a furry was, so I just thought, "Man, that tubby girl is really into Sonic the Hedgehog."

sspadowsky Jun 1st, 2011 08:37 PM

I just had to Google "furry" because I didn't know what the hell they were.

I now know that they are the harbingers of the eradication of the human race. Bring on the Four Horsemen, please, and quickly.

Kitsa Jun 1st, 2011 09:00 PM

You know who will be in those horse suits.

executioneer Jun 1st, 2011 09:10 PM

with sex flaps

Colonel Flagg Jun 1st, 2011 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 723874)
lmao he did wut now???? smh neway

:puke

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 723875)
"smh" is probably the gayest thing to happen in the history of the written word, btw

This is quite true.

I have taken to cringing every time I hear the "dingdong" tone indicating I have a new message. I'm considering sending everything to a global recycle bin.

I refuse to use any "accepted" interwebs shorhand like 2day, btw and wut. I do however use special shorthand known only to the few and the proud, which goes over most people's head, but can be highly amusing if timed just right.

Kitsa Jun 1st, 2011 09:49 PM

Back in the early ICQ days, when my number was 8 digits long (!) and it was still a green flower that said "uh oh!", I had cockatiels who learned to mimic the "uh oh!" exactly. Day and night, nonstop. Drove me crazy.

Otto Jun 1st, 2011 10:43 PM

Better than the parrot my dad got from a drill-sergeant he knew, it was like the thing was channeling R. Lee Ermey.

Guitar Woman Jun 1st, 2011 10:55 PM

Parrots sound like living, breathing versions of those singing wall ornaments.

Hilarious the first three times. Then, target practice.

Otto Jun 1st, 2011 11:09 PM

After spending the ages of 6 to 9 running away in terror, with that motherfucker chasing after me, and listening to it squawk "KILL EM ALL KILL EM ALL KILL EM ALL!" at two in the morning, I agree with you, GW.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 1st, 2011 11:12 PM

:lol

Fathom Zero Jun 2nd, 2011 02:16 AM

IS BONIFASIO THE FATHER?

Fathom Zero Jun 2nd, 2011 05:49 AM

still can't sleep, gon' steep some oolong, btchs

Otto Jun 2nd, 2011 09:15 PM

Okay, I'm using the last of my block of Super Sculpey to make one last medical specimen. The idea behind this one is that after the end of the war the project was brought to the US under Operation Paperclip and continued at Plum Island's building 257. This sculpture is pretty small, so I'm probably going to use a small mason jar or possibly an apothecary jar.

So I need some help here. Since this is supposed to be from the early fifties should I still seal the jar in wax? I'm also thinking that instead of typewriting on the label, I might get one of those punch-out label makers, the kind that spits out raised labels on plastic strips. Also, which do you guys think would fit the time period better? A mason jar or an apothecary jar?

Grislygus Jun 2nd, 2011 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 723875)
"smh" is probably the gayest thing to happen in the history of the written word, btw

for those of you who don't know any idiots, it's shorthand for "shaking my head." its proper use is apparently at the beginning and/or end of every sentence.

i was also hanging out with some people the other day and watching futurama, then one of them actually facepalmed a few times during the episode. later in the evening i said something about furries having no redeemable qualities and they were all "no way man i know furries and they're cool, this is the wrong group to say that in"

basically i hate everyone

Your problem seems to involve loser friends; I recommend getting new ones



Of course, some of my new friends kept calling me at three am, just making sure that I didn't know where to SCORE SOME BLOW, so new friends can be bigger pains in the ass than the old ones, I dunno...


Actually, now that I think of it, out of ALL the friends I've made since moving back to California, the only consistently cool ones are all gay. So, the answer to your problem of hating everyone is gay people.

Grislygus Jun 2nd, 2011 09:26 PM

'Course, my standards have changed since moving back to California. Now I pretty much desperately seek out friends willing to put down the fuckdamn video games for two seconds and leave their cuntsnargling houses for more than an hour at a time

LordSappington Jun 3rd, 2011 12:29 AM


captain516 Jun 3rd, 2011 05:01 AM

I hate the stuff you like

Kitsa Jun 3rd, 2011 06:18 AM

Somehow that reminded me of Cake.

Zhukov Jun 3rd, 2011 09:41 AM

It sounds like Cake, doesn't it? I think it was pretty good.

I like Cake.

Pub Lover Jun 3rd, 2011 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReallySweetName (Post 724055)
I don't understand what you said

:lol

Clay, it seems you're too old to be down with the kids. :eek

Like the rest of us.

Pub Lover Jun 3rd, 2011 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 724057)
I smell EXCITEMENT! :blah

Colonel, I think you can say ass on Facebook nowadays. :eek

Pub Lover Jun 3rd, 2011 01:39 PM

:pagebrak


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