:pagebrak:

I think the reason I barely ever post here anymore is that twitter pretty much covers all the bases I-Mockery used to.

I make a statement on a pointless subject, and then people either don't read it or question my heterosexuality in spite of whether or not that has anything to do with the issue.

Also, this website contains a crippling lack of JoMo shenanigans.

In an unrelated matter, I taught my cat to drink tea.

faggot

GW do you wear a beret and hang out at coffeehouses now

actually I did picture him smoking gauloises.

I picture him smoking penis

What? You have a pet spider?

Is it your pet or are you it's host?

Hell no, I'm not made of money

Even if I was I could probably think of better things to do than hang out at cafes and listen to hipsters talk about their horrible post-rock

I still smoke spirit blacks, for real men

;)

My pet. She's a chilean rosehair tarantula, and she's about eight years old.

That's horrible. You should post pictures so I can know just how horrible.

MLE: Do you feed her crickets?

Yep. She won't touch anything else.

I used to have to breed crickets, when I was raising so many reptiles and tree frogs. Even though I got the cleanest kind (top hat) and took immaculate care of the trash cans where they bred, it stunk to high heaven. I'm down to one leopard gecko and I still hate the chore of crickets.

I love leopard geckos. My best friend bred them for years. She only has one now.

Mine's going on 17 years old or thereabouts.

There is nothing special about the pile of leaves.

>kick leaves

Kicking the pile of leaves isn't notably helpful.'

>: fucking game sucks

Kings quest?

>playfully romp in leaves

zork

issit cool that i'm in the aclu?

I just vaccumed up a yellow sac spider (bad) the same approximate size as a wolf spider (ugly but harmless).

Fuckers must be breeding in the walls to create some sort of superspider. :(

Spiders are the main reason I hate this time of year. If they want to stay outside, that's fine, but don't bring all your venom and necrosis shit into the house.

it's cooler if you're eaten by a grue.

/Seuss

I've taken to scooping spiders up in paper towels and crushing them as hard as I can squeeze. Everyone thinks I'm sadistic, but fuck them.

I saw a big thick brown one crawling down the wall behind my desk yesterday; I tried to drive him higher so I could smash him, but the little bastard crawled down on the carpet and basically disappeared, he was blending in so well. I've spent most of the time since then in a twitchy paranoia waiting for him to crawl up my pants and murder me, or until I pick up a piece of paper and find him chilling underneath it and scampering away to parts unknown waiting to fuck my shit up some more.

I hate him so much that I'm not going to give him the pleasure of a crushing death if I find him again, I'll just trap him under a glass or something and watch as he struggles to escape and eventually dies slowly of starvation and/or asphyxiation, the little fuck. Or maybe I'd take him outside and set him on fire, that could be fun.

Maybe I am a bit sadistic.