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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

WhiteRat Dec 30th, 2009 05:33 PM

FreekALeak, happy birthday! Keep on rocking that vagina!

Sam Dec 30th, 2009 06:14 PM

PARTYPARTYPARTY

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 30th, 2009 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 665541)
10K, that baby isn't from DML is it?

God like you need that

:( afraid so :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 665524)
What? No demerol? Your doing it wrong. :\



Is it the chick in prison? Tell her you will drop the charges if she makes a stop at planned parenthood. :lol

But no really... If your going to be a father congrats dude. Its no where near as bad as you think its going to be. Its actually pretty great, especially if you have a boy. I cant tell you how many afternoons I have spent sitting around with the boy watching a movie or playing a game when the wife wanted me to do some work around the house. "But I told the boy I would spend time with him. We are bonding. Important father son things." ;)

Thank you for the encouragement dim. Those are the things I am looking forward to doing. She wants to put it up for adoption though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattJack (Post 665483)
Drink one for me buddy.

Thanks. I had a drink for a bunch of people last night but yours was the first.

Sam Dec 30th, 2009 06:35 PM

Well... It'll probably work out. We can keep her loaded and peddle her ass at the drug convention. Yeah. She's perfect for this gig. These cops will go fifty bucks a head to beat her into submission and then gang fuck her. We can set her up in one of these back street motels, hang pictures of Jesus all over the room, then turn these fucking pigs loose on her. Hell, she's strong, man. She'll hold her own.

executioneer Dec 30th, 2009 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 665502)
so my current position is getting eliminated as of the end of the year, and i was supposed to get a new one, but nobody's contacted me about it yet

ffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

OK THEY GOT AHOLD OF ME AND THINGS ARE O-KAY

Shrubfest Dec 30th, 2009 06:44 PM

Yay for willie employment!

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 30th, 2009 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 665563)
Well... It'll probably work out. We can keep her loaded and peddle her ass at the drug convention. Yeah. She's perfect for this gig. These cops will go fifty bucks a head to beat her into submission and then gang fuck her. We can set her up in one of these back street motels, hang pictures of Jesus all over the room, then turn these fucking pigs loose on her. Hell, she's strong, man. She'll hold her own.

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 665564)
OK THEY GOT AHOLD OF ME AND THINGS ARE O-KAY

:DOUBLEHIGHFIVE

Babs Dec 30th, 2009 07:23 PM

What's everyone doing for New Year's Eve?

Kitsa Dec 30th, 2009 07:51 PM

1) Happy Birthday to Willie and Shrub, and congrats on continued employment

2) 10,000V- how could you verify this? Sometimes women throw that out there and the veracity is a little questionable.

3) Babs- dunno, not in labor I hope

Sam Dec 30th, 2009 08:03 PM

DRUGS

bigtimecow Dec 30th, 2009 08:37 PM

NEW YEARS = AMSTEL LIGHT AND DRUNK TEXTS TO PRETTY GIRLS

Sam Dec 30th, 2009 08:45 PM

I WILL TEXT BIGTIMECOW WHEN I AM ON DRUGS

elx Dec 30th, 2009 09:14 PM

you should make sure it's aborted if it's still early :(
whats her face should not be a mother, that's not fair to your possible future child, or any possible future children.

Sam Dec 30th, 2009 09:22 PM

He can't make her get an abortion there are laws and all kinds of stupid shit to stop the terrible nightmare from happening, WAY TO GO WOMEN. :rolleyes

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 30th, 2009 09:26 PM

:LOWFIVE :(

Sam Dec 30th, 2009 09:28 PM

Bill as your attorney, I recommend for you to put an injunction against her vagina, maybe we can sever any lawsuits this baby may come up with before it even grows eyeball stalks.

bigtimecow Dec 30th, 2009 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 665579)
I WILL TEXT BIGTIMECOW WHEN I AM ON DRUGS

DUDE DO IT 978 855 8157

OMG I JUST GAVE MY PHONE NUMBER TO THE INTERNET AHHH

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 30th, 2009 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 665585)
Bill as your attorney, I recommend for you to put an injunction against her vagina, maybe we can sever any lawsuits this baby may come up with before it even grows eyeball stalks.

I just need a poker visor. I need you to get all Chicano on me. I'll get the car

Babs Dec 30th, 2009 10:19 PM

GOD DAMNIT BILL, EVER HEARD OF SARAN WRAPING YOUR DICK HEAD?

Pentegarn Dec 30th, 2009 10:32 PM

10k, it may not even be yours, you should totally Maury Povich her ass


bigtimecow Dec 31st, 2009 12:48 AM

that video will forever crack me up

Colonel Flagg Dec 31st, 2009 01:39 AM

What has been said is what I say too. DNA your troubles away. I think they even sell kits in Walgreens now.

Also, Happy Birthday, Shrub. :) And Pub. :)

Pentegarn Dec 31st, 2009 02:10 AM

Also, I wouldn't put it past her crazy ass to say she is pregnant when in fact she is not. Possible reasons she would do this include (but are not limited to)

1) She is trying to trap you into taking her back
2) Bargaining chip, you have her over the proverbial barrel legally and she is desperately grasping at straws
3) Yet another way to fuck with you

So believe nothing till you see ultrasound pics, then Maury Povich her ass



By the way, I love that I can use Maury Povich as a verb :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 31st, 2009 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BABALITY PANCAKES (Post 665590)
GOD DAMNIT BILL, EVER HEARD OF SARAN WRAPING YOUR DICK HEAD?

DA PILL

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 665594)
10k, it may not even be yours, you should totally Maury Povich her ass



:lol Oh shit, why have I never seen that before. I totally have my sweet ass dance moves lined up just in case but its doubtful I will need them.

Colonel Flagg Dec 31st, 2009 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 665612)
By the way, I love that I can use Maury Povich as a verb :lol

Maury is so awesome, he's a noun, a verb and an adjective (as in "a Maury Povich exposť"). Connie should be very proud. :)

elx Dec 31st, 2009 04:03 AM

happy new years eve :D

Chojin Dec 31st, 2009 10:02 AM

man 10k, with that bitch i'd hold her down and make her piss on a test in front of a lie detector before I'd believe that shit

MLE Dec 31st, 2009 11:28 AM

They sell DNA kits at Rite Aid as well.

Pentegarn Dec 31st, 2009 11:34 AM

Ah see? You found it without my help :P

MLE Dec 31st, 2009 11:37 AM

I'm not DML, you queermo ;<

Pentegarn Dec 31st, 2009 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 665647)
I'm not DML, you queermo ;<

I was referring to when you asked me where the third thread was in the thread in loveline. But thanks for that pointless insult anyway

MLE Dec 31st, 2009 12:26 PM

Oh, gotcha. I see what you mean now. In the context of this thread though, you can see why I took that as how I took it.

Pentegarn Dec 31st, 2009 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 665653)
Oh, gotcha. I see what you mean now. In the context of this thread though, you can see why I took that as how I took it.

Totally :lol

Tadao Dec 31st, 2009 01:58 PM

Yeah, I saw those tests in the drug store and I was all "WTF?" Now I know WTF

Pentegarn Dec 31st, 2009 02:10 PM

I have never seen one myself (never had cause to look for one either thankfully)

Tadao Dec 31st, 2009 02:14 PM

They were next to my anal lube

Kitsa Dec 31st, 2009 02:25 PM

If you can get them at rite aid, why are people still selling their souls to Maury? Just stupid/shameless?

Tadao Dec 31st, 2009 02:33 PM

I think it's a fairly new product.

Pentegarn Dec 31st, 2009 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 665668)
If you can get them at rite aid, why are people still selling their souls to Maury? Just stupid/shameless?

Because "You are NOT the father" moments are epic. That and the cashing in your 15 minutes of fame thing.

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 31st, 2009 03:04 PM

In Maury Povich Russia, DNA test pays you.

Guitar Woman Dec 31st, 2009 03:21 PM

lol, I'm so high I can barely keep my eyes focused :(

I don't think I've ever felt better in my life, why is this punishable by law again?

Colonel Flagg Dec 31st, 2009 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 665668)
If you can get them at rite aid, why are people still selling their souls to Maury? Just stupid/shameless?

You got it. Selling. As in $$$$$$. Or in most of their cases, $.

Kitsa Dec 31st, 2009 03:55 PM

Maury kind of creeps me out. In some respects it's sleazier than Springer.

Immortal Goat Dec 31st, 2009 04:17 PM

It's the sweaters. He looks like a creepy grampa or something.

Tadao Dec 31st, 2009 04:32 PM

IDK last time I saw Springer it was a circus with legless freaks and midgets.

MarioRPG Dec 31st, 2009 04:35 PM

IT'S YO BABY ITS YO BABY

Maury is great.

e: oh and theres a blue moon tonight or sumpin ps

Tadao Dec 31st, 2009 04:37 PM

yep, next one will be in 028

bigtimecow Dec 31st, 2009 04:51 PM

oh THAT'S what you meant by blue moon beer making money

maybe i'll get some then

Sam Dec 31st, 2009 04:55 PM

THE FUCKING MOOOON

Tadao Dec 31st, 2009 04:59 PM

dude

Tadao Dec 31st, 2009 04:59 PM


Sam Dec 31st, 2009 05:05 PM

IT'S HER BIRTHDAY SHE CAN HAVE WHATEVER SHE WANTS

Kitsa Dec 31st, 2009 05:38 PM


Sam Dec 31st, 2009 05:40 PM

I'LL PUT MY COCK IN HER CAKE

captain516 Dec 31st, 2009 07:03 PM

Special cream filling, eh sam? ;):

Sam Dec 31st, 2009 07:41 PM

NO, JUST JIZZ

Colonel Flagg Dec 31st, 2009 11:01 PM

Thanks, Tad. :love

stevetothepast Dec 31st, 2009 11:24 PM

Happy new years ladies and fellas :squigly

Fathom Zero Dec 31st, 2009 11:25 PM

King Kong walla walla bing bong

elx Jan 1st, 2010 01:30 AM

did everyone else enjoy their sparkling grape juice

MattJack Jan 1st, 2010 02:30 AM

helluva night to have bronchitis

LordSappington Jan 1st, 2010 03:45 AM

I just got the easiest fucking anniversary date to remember EVER. Happy New Year's, guys; best one for me ever. :rock

HickMan Jan 1st, 2010 04:37 AM

hapy new years guys hope you all have a good oes or good one <3

Colonel Flagg Jan 1st, 2010 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 665786)
I just got the easiest fucking anniversary date to remember EVER. Happy New Year's, guys; best one for me ever. :rock

Good Luck witrh that, Sapster. The i-mock track record hasn't been great of late. HNY and all that.

And, elx, I enjoyed my glass of Talisker immensely. Thank you for asking. :)

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 1st, 2010 11:27 AM

Best new year of the decade!!
I put on

the jukebox and the DROP IT happened to play right during the ball drop at the right time.

:rock:rock

Chojin Jan 1st, 2010 12:54 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI-ijODN86I&fmt=22

i play videogames

LordSappington Jan 1st, 2010 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 665798)
Good Luck witrh that, Sapster. The i-mock track record hasn't been great of late. HNY and all that.

Ahaha, thanks, Flagg. I know I'm sure as hell not going anywhere; it's not every day you hook up with a girl who not only understands the importance of zombie preparedness, but also has BLUE FUCKING HAIR. :love

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 1st, 2010 05:29 PM

:HIGHFIVE

LordSappington Jan 1st, 2010 05:34 PM

:FIVE'D

Tadao Jan 1st, 2010 07:19 PM

Hahaha last night I told my GF where to meet back up if we get separated during an apocalypse.

bigtimecow Jan 2nd, 2010 01:31 AM

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Sam Jan 2nd, 2010 01:37 AM

BIGTIMECOW HASN'T SAID ANYTHING SO I'M ASSUMING HE DIDN'T GET MY TEXT MESSAGES SINCE I CHECKED THE NUMBER I HAD AND IT WAS WRONG :(

Sam Jan 2nd, 2010 01:38 AM

I'M SORRY TO WHOEVER RECEIVED ALL THE MESSAGES I SENT :(

bigtimecow Jan 2nd, 2010 01:48 AM

what did you try sending to me sam?!

Sam Jan 2nd, 2010 01:54 AM

all kinds of shit man :(

bigtimecow Jan 2nd, 2010 01:56 AM

you were sending me texts just fine the other day though :(

bigtimecow Jan 2nd, 2010 01:59 AM

oh yeah i had a dream the other night that there was an east coast imock meet up but anyone who was there who i haven't seen a picture of was just in like human form of their avatars

sam was creeeeeeeepy

bigtimecow Jan 2nd, 2010 02:01 AM

sam am i texting you right now

edit: NOPE WAS WILLIE

MLE Jan 2nd, 2010 02:22 AM

BTC, are you east coast?

bigtimecow Jan 2nd, 2010 02:25 AM

yes ma'am. massachusetts

LordSappington Jan 2nd, 2010 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 665825)
Hahaha last night I told my GF where to meet back up if we get separated during an apocalypse.

Our meet-up place is a toy store. :rock

MLE Jan 2nd, 2010 02:46 AM

Visit MD, dude.

bigtimecow Jan 2nd, 2010 02:47 AM

i was there for a little bit on my way to georgia last summer. i think i ate at a diner there; it was good french toast :D

you gonna give me a place to stay?

MLE Jan 2nd, 2010 02:49 AM

I live with my 'rents at the moment, paying off debt ;< Otherwise sure, you could crash here for a bit :> I'll probably mention the whole "HEY I'M MOVING" thing when it happens. Probably after this year.

bigtimecow Jan 2nd, 2010 02:51 AM

haha ballin

in reality though i'm staying in massachusetts for the next couple years. supposed to get a place this summer and hopefully land some teaching-esque position(s) here after i graduate

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2010 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigtimecow (Post 665853)
oh yeah i had a dream the other night that there was an east coast imock meet up but anyone who was there who i haven't seen a picture of was just in like human form of their avatars

sam was creeeeeeeepy


That happened to me a while ago when everyone had the emoticon avatars. Willie drove by me in a black car with a regular body. His head was the :explodethough which was a bit unnerving.

Kitsa Jan 2nd, 2010 04:12 PM

So my printer was fucked this morning and my sig other was getting more and more impatient trying to get it fixed, something was fucked up with a roller or something.

So after 2 attempts, he threw the printer across the room and it exploded into many pieces. It was fairly hardcore, although I was pissed and made him buy me a new one.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2010 04:24 PM

Hahaha, men are awesome.

Sam Jan 2nd, 2010 04:27 PM

NEXT TIME IT WILL BE YOUR BABY

Kitsa Jan 2nd, 2010 04:29 PM

That was a concern.

Sam Jan 2nd, 2010 04:33 PM

YOUR BABY BETTER NOT GET IT'S ROLLERS FUCKED UP

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2010 04:39 PM

ROLLERS WITH THE HOMIES

:BRITTANYMURPHY

Sam Jan 2nd, 2010 04:40 PM

TOO SOON, MAN

Sam Jan 2nd, 2010 04:49 PM

SPEAKING OF ROLLER BABIES, I JUST SAW THIS TERRIBLE MONSTROSITY


10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2010 04:50 PM

I wish I could see it.

:workblockingyoutube

Kitsa Jan 2nd, 2010 05:16 PM

actually, I shouldn't say that...it was more of a grandiose, one-time display of total immaturity. I don't really believe the baby to be in danger. If I did, he'd have gotten the so-long-and-fuck-you long ago.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2010 05:33 PM

I'm completely calm and level headed but many a time have I wanted to explode a printer for not working. We have 4-5 that don't work at my apartment in good visual condition.

Kitsa Jan 2nd, 2010 05:49 PM

There are two main problems with my printer (well, before its demise)...the HP software and the cats. I don't want to get into the complexities regarding windows upgrades and software updates and all that, but the fuckups were frequent and numerous. I've gone through stretches where I reinstalled drivers twice in one day. The damn thing would randomly drop one function...like the twain business with the scanner.

The second problem was the cats. I don't know what it is about the startup whirr of a print job that brings a cat running, but that's what happens. They would want to sit on the lid of the flatbed scanner and poke at the emerging paper, or stand in front of the tray and try to jam the paper back in where it came from. Naturally, that caused problems.

I still believe that with a little patience, the printer could have been limped through a little longer. I was angry about the sudden expense of a new printer, especially with a baby on the way any day now and all the stuff that has to be bought for her.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2010 06:04 PM

Cats need jobs. Do you have a due date Kitsa?

Kitsa Jan 2nd, 2010 06:16 PM

If I can make it to the 12th, I get to have a scheduled C-section.


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