The Newbie's Indispensible Guide to the Forums
 

In this thread I will explain a few points to people that are relatively new to these forums. I'm not trying to be humorous in this thread, so don't expect another 'Newbie Classification Guide,' replete with comical images of people carefully selected from Google.

OVERVIEW

The goal of this board is to supplement the I-Mockery.com website, and as such provide two things: Mockery by and for the public that attends the site and topic-driven discussion among registrars.

ETIQUETTE (Or, how not to be disliked)

Fighting
The first goal is often mistaken as meaning this is a 'flame board,' wherein you may (and are expected to) 'attack' other board members. While mocking other board members certainly falls under the category of 'mockery,' the unrelenting and/or humorless pursuit of individuals into seperate topics and forums does not. Learn to take a joke and leave it alone.

Content
You are not required to be funny or even interesting to post here, so please do not feel intimidated into attempting either. By the same token, don't exert yourself trying to be accepted by the community. 'Being yourself' is honestly the best way to go - you have nothing to prove and are guaranteed to fail in any attempts to shock or impress people by being an 'offbeat' individual, so just relax and don't be a jerk.

Replying to topics
Say your piece when needed and let a few people reply to a topic before you add to it again. The post count listed with your name is a good rule-of-thumb for whether or not you're being annoying; By clicking on the 'profile' button below your posts, you may access in-depth posting data: Around 10-15 posts per day are a very acceptable average for those getting used to the forum. Let other people talk too, and try to condense your thoughts into single posts.

Creating topics
Do not create a topic unless there is a good reason for it. Being new and harboring an intent to announce your arrival falls far from the bounds of 'good reason.' There are so many people here that there's no reason to introduce yourself. If someone wants to remember you, they'll do it of their own volition. Furthermore, keep topic creation to a maximum of once a week until you get to know the place better.

Not every thread goes in General Blabber - There are many other forums on this board under which your topic may belong.

RULES

You can only get unwillingly removed from the forums by breaking rules. They are as follows:

- No spamming (posts with the sole intent of 'selling' something)
- No flooding, hacking, or anything else that physically harms the forums.
- No malicious racist remarks.
- Exercise reason with images and their size, especially in signatures. (Generally speaking, with signatures, 150-200 pixels tall is 'enough.' For all other images, as the site is optimized for those running under an 800 x 600 resolution, most posts should follow suit: about 650 pixels wide and apply common sense to height. Keep in mind that many people are still using dial-up modems, so don't use many pictures, and optimize the ones you do if you can.)

Follow these basic guidelines and you may yet become a valued member of our community.
Maybe.

I think Jamesman already did one like this. :)

i think you are a fucking dumbass, but that is neither here nor there.

I think we should add a rule that says you should READ topics before replying to them.

If Cap 'n' Crunch is being ironic, then lets outlaw irony.

My logic is that anyone who would reply to a topic without reading it doesn't have the attention span to read my guide in the first place.

And crunch is apparently an example of this.

Indeed. The main problem with so many newbies is that they come here and try to be overly "wacky", to the point that they're not just being themselves. It's not a show people, it's a discussion forum. Some people browse these boards for a long time before even posting, and those people normally do a lot better because at least they know what does and doesn't work around here.

Just be yourselves and don't make a useless 5-word post, 25 times a day.

Okay, I better be going now. Bye, guys!

you wouldnt be happening to be going to the grocery store would you? Send crystal and her daughters my love, yo.

You should have tried to be funny. That way, I could understand why you put so much effort into something that would have no affect on anything. :/

Newbies can't read anyway, if you haven't noticed. :(

If Newbies don't read topics before posting "HI, OMG I'M NEW!!!!" threads, chances are good that they won't read this one either.

And the newbies that do follow the rules are the kind that never stay long. :(

Stop figuring me out.

Ah...
 

Good guide Chojin. Rog should place this where all newbies can see it before they post. I'm pleased that I didn't commit most of the no-no's on there, although I do one or two of them.

I read it and I remember Jamesman or someone else doing something having to do with the same topic before. How is it that I am a newbie but I signed up two or three days after the people that are posting on the board? I am not new. I have been here for a while just like all of you guys (or girls). I am just not an avid poster. Switch.

Umm, Cap'n? It's because most of them were from the OLD boards, and a few of them have been there for a couple of years, so relatively speaking, yes you are a newbie as well. But REJOICE! for you are not a NEWERbie. Nor am I. :)

I have been on the old boards but I changed my name. I didn't like it.

Oh ok. Sorry about that, but you came off like you were NOT part of the old boards.

What is there to say sorry about? No one liked me on the old boards and obviously no one likes me now.

- No malicious racist remarks.

:rolleyes define malicious

malicious

\Ma*li"cious\, a. [Of. malicius, F. malicieux, fr. L. malitiosus. See Malice.] 1. Indulging or exercising malice; harboring ill will or enmity.

I grant him bloody, . . . Sudden, malicious, smacking of every sin That has a name. --Shak.

2. Proceeding from hatred or ill will; dictated by malice; as, a malicious report; malicious mischief.

3. (Law)With wicked or mischievous intentions or motives; wrongful and done intentionally without just cause or excuse; as, a malicious act.

It means don't say ****** when you mean it, ******.

yet you still continue to post....astounding, absolutely astounding.

Rongi continues to post. :(

Why do all the newbies hate me :/?

Oh wait...only the dumb ones do :)

Too bad you obviously didn't read it properly, or else you would have noticed that Chojin referenced Jamesman's post and said "I'm not trying to be humerous and carefully hand-pick pictures out from Google to accompany my points" or something to that effect.

On the actual topic though, nice work Chojin, it's alot more useful than the "witty jamesman guide to not being stoopid newbie #1-10"

That was very nice, Chojin.