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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Dimnos Aug 10th, 2009 02:29 PM

The LOL swazi?!

Spoilers!

DevilWearsPrada Aug 10th, 2009 02:30 PM

anime hitler

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 02:49 PM

found this in my wallet last week. i work for an Israeli company, so the irony is amazing:

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 03:05 PM

oh and i gave this bill as change for a $20 to one of my (Israeli) coworkers, who thought it was hysterical and walked around screaming "WHITE POWER!!!!!" all day.

yes i told her before i handed it over.

Aaarg Aug 10th, 2009 03:25 PM

somebody asked me to identify a tree and i guessed and i was right.

and it wasn't even one we learned in my dendrology class. it was on the list of ones to learn, but we didn't get around to finding them.

i think i somehow recalled my ex-girlfriend saying "oh, a catalpa" as we passed one a long time ago.

SWEET.

Colonel Flagg Aug 10th, 2009 03:49 PM

This buys you about 2-3 weeks of believable bullshit before someone calls you on it. Use this power only for good. :)

Aaarg Aug 10th, 2009 04:11 PM

BS about trees, I guess. :(

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 05:31 PM

what genius is sitting around going "hmmm, how can i impress these people on i-mockery?!?!?!? I KNOW!!! I'll pretend i know alot about.............TREES!!! that'll get 'em"

cause, you know, dendrology is like rocket science, only with trees.

wait, dendrology is a real word? no way.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 05:32 PM

on a different note, i just heard the dumbest thing ever at work:

Customer: "so, you're gonna email me something, and then i have to fax it back? WAIT how can i fax it back if it's in my email?!??!?!? oh, wait............."

Kitsa Aug 10th, 2009 05:41 PM

I think my mom would lose a basic snake survival test. She went to a zoo where they had nonvenomous and venomous side by side with a sign explaining how to spot the differences between them.

On her photos, she's labeled a copperhead as an eastern milk snake and a coral snake as a Sinoloan milk snake. The good news (I guess) is that she also labeled an eastern milk snake as an eastern milk snake and a Sinoloan milk snake as a Sinoloan milk snake. I think if I wasn't sure I would have gone with the opposite.

She's a rampant killer of snakes despite all my best efforts. A copperhead struck at her once and that was it...all snakes were as good as dead in her book.

Aaarg Aug 10th, 2009 06:07 PM

i don't pretend i know a lot about trees. i took a dendrology class two years ago and i had a lucky guess on identifying a tree.

i'm not trying to impress anybody, this is just how boring my life is.

yes dendrology is a real word and it's a very important class for anybody in a natural resources program at school.

The Leader Aug 10th, 2009 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirtyxblondexdame (Post 640964)
what genius is sitting around going "hmmm, how can i impress these people on i-mockery?!?!?!? I KNOW!!! I'll pretend i know alot about.............TREES!!! that'll get 'em"

cause, you know, dendrology is like rocket science, only with trees.

wait, dendrology is a real word? no way.

I don't like this person. :(

Shyandquietguy Aug 10th, 2009 07:08 PM

Hey guys, I am thinking of applying for a dead body job. I plan on practicing Igro lines and tease the co-workers about them having sex with the bodies 24/7.

P.S. "Yeah man I can step out. Dead bodies, right? From the cemetary? Yeah, no problem man."

Colonel Flagg Aug 10th, 2009 07:31 PM

Sex with the dead .... don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

Dixie Aug 10th, 2009 08:15 PM

I'm pretty sure my last lay could have been declared dead.

Aaarg Aug 10th, 2009 08:51 PM

I had a sex dream the other night and in it, the girl was bored.

That's how dead my sex life currently is. It's not even decent in my dreams.

Shyandquietguy Aug 10th, 2009 09:27 PM

Maybe it's time for drastic measures? Ever try fire sex? You have to penetrate as fast as you can as you are doused by live embers.

Tadao Aug 11th, 2009 03:09 AM


Kitsa Aug 11th, 2009 08:48 AM

So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 09:22 AM

just got out of a meeting, please tell me why i had to come in 2 hours early to listen to my boss talk about recycling plastic bags and how to upload videos on facebook?!?!?!?

*headdesk*

Colonel Flagg Aug 11th, 2009 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 641069)
So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

Wow. They're either bold and confident, or just clueless. I'm betting the latter.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 09:51 AM

http://thechive.com/2009/08/10-reaso...rn/#more-47256

http://thechive.com/2009/08/9-reason...os/#more-46569

edit: 1st link is "Reasons it would rule to date a unicorn"
2nd link is "Reasons it would suck to date a T-Rex"

Zhukov Aug 11th, 2009 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 641069)
So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

It seems nothing goes right for you Kitsa :(

I hope you throw the book at them.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 10:15 AM

i booked a $12,000 move last week. move went fine, management was thrilled with me.............

...............untill the customer called up with $75,000 worth of damage.

D'oh.

The Leader Aug 11th, 2009 11:40 AM

dirtyxblondexdame, we don't care about your life. Stop trying.


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