Dear "Digger"
 

Since I now live with people who watch NASCAR, I have been introduced to you. The NASCAR fans want to shoot you both on principal and out of irritation. I want to torture you because you make NASCAR even worse. No one loves you, except for the announcers who chuckle stupidly and declare "THARS DIGGER! HYUCK! ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING, THE WINGS BEING REPLACED BY THE SPOILER BLAH BLAH-"

But wait! You have a FAMILY now. Maisy Duke, the "sexy, inbred woodchuck". A senile, half-blind gopher in a wheelchair. With SOUND EFFECTS. Ooh, and there's the precious "Digger Cam"! Watch out, Digger, the cars are gonna run you over!

What? You want me to buy Digger gear? I can proudly adorn my chest and head with buck-toothed redneck rodents?! FUCK YES, WHERE ARE THE BEER HATS?



Love, your murderer

what?

You don't want to know.

Hey Gus, put yourself in my shoes for a minute. Wouldn't you also want to infract the fuck out of a NASCAR post? You're putting me in a hard situation here >:

INFRACT ME, I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING :(

I'm pretty much hoping to get Mattjack's input here, if he IS that one NASCAR fan around here that I remember

Sports forum :lol

Digger Smolken?

i'd rather be a trapper anyday than some dirty digger

i could catch a helpless animal
skin it with my bare hands
i'd wake up muddy
and go to bed bloody
cause i'm a trappin' man

He's talking about this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXiwa86HqqI

Thanks, Nick. :(

You're right, GG, he deserves death. With pain. >:

SCANDALIZE SOME DIGGERS :eek