I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Blabber (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   Stupid Injuries (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69704936)

Tanuki Aug 14th, 2010 07:09 PM

Stupid Injuries
 
Ever done something to injure yourself that was, in retrospect, really dumb? Well, here you go. I'll start with a tale from 2007.

Back then, our neighbors had an outdoor cat (whom we dubbed Leon--we never asked his actual name...) who was very amiable. Sometimes during bad weather we would let him stay inside the house, but we'd restrict him to the basement, so our other two cats, Jasmine and Minnie, wouldn't harrass him. Well, Minnie restricted herself to the upstairs rooms, but Jasmine wandered around the house, so she was more of a problem.

This one particular evening, the weather wasn't particularly bad, but the cat was clawing at the screen so we let him in. We let him go into the basement, but after a moment I heard hissing. I rushed downstairs to find Jasmine staring down Leon. Within an instant, the cats were instantly in a fight, Leon trying to get away. Rather stupidly and in a panic, I grabbed Jasmine.

Bad move.

Next thing I know, Jasmine's clawing and biting the hell out of my arm. There's blood everywhere. Jasmine then runs off, and I'm left sitting there in shock. Mom bandages up my arm and I go to bed.

The next morning, I'm in the shower and decide to take off the bandage. I can't pull it off, and next thing I know I can't breathe. I stagger out of the shower and puke into the sink. Mom comes in and says, "What's the matter?"

Next thing I know I'm laying on the bathroom floor. Mom said I was out for a good 30 seconds. I spent the rest of the day in bed, with a massive purple welt on my chin--it's a miracle it didn't split open. I still have a scar on my chin, though. I also have teeth marks on my arm.

As for who won the battle, it's your call--Leon was struck by a car later that year, while Jasmine lived two more years but died of cancer. Minnie is 27 years old and still kickin'.



TL;DR tried to pick up a cat during a catfight, wound up puking and bruised.

Fathom Zero Aug 14th, 2010 07:12 PM

Right distal fibia and tibia shattered.

Rainy trampoline + 200 lb friend.

Tanuki Aug 14th, 2010 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 695193)
Right distal fibia and tibia shattered.

Rainy trampoline + 200 lb friend.

Were you sitting down when said friend made impact?

Colonel Flagg Aug 14th, 2010 07:36 PM

I'm such a klutz, I don't know where to begin. I've burned myself with acid, set myself on fire, spilled hot tea on my forehead (really!), and most recently, fell flat on a wood pallet really effing up my wrist.

Sometimes I think they should just wrap me up in yellow tape. :(

Tanuki Aug 14th, 2010 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 695195)
I'm such a klutz, I don't know where to begin. I've burned myself with acid, set myself on fire, spilled hot tea on my forehead (really!), and most recently, fell flat on a wood pallet really effing up my wrist.

Sometimes I think they should just wrap me up in yellow tape. :(

I have to hear the hot tea story now.

Kitsa Aug 14th, 2010 08:06 PM

ColFlagg: Hot tea happens. When I was pregnant I filled a cup with scalding water, turned, and promptly ran into a doorframe. I still have vivid red scars from where it splashed all over me.

Evil Robot Aug 14th, 2010 08:35 PM

I once got alcohol poisoning and a sprained ankle and heat stroke after riding a motorcycle while drinking for six hours. I eventually passed out when stopped and spent the next few hours under the bike with the footpeg digging into me. Oh yeah, I got badly sunburned.

It was worth it.

darkvare Aug 14th, 2010 10:42 PM

i harmed my elbow triying to reach a magazine while i was on the pooper i was in pain for a whole week :P

Colonel Flagg Aug 14th, 2010 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tanuki (Post 695197)
I have to hear the hot tea story now.

Not much to tell. I had a headache (very bad) and took some "vitamin T" - in addition, I pourred myself a cup of near boiling water from the coffeemaker, then inserted said teabag, in the hopes of getting the combination of caffeine and tannins along with Acetominophen to kill the tension. Heat generally feels good when applied to pain, so I applied my mug (uncovered) to the source of my pain-unfortunately while I was substantially less than vertical. 1st degree scald in the center of my forehead. I looked like I clumsily put a giant caste-mark on myself in the hope of becoming an Indian woman. (Obligatory KITH reference.) A great source of amusement for all my coworkers.

Colonel Flagg Aug 14th, 2010 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 695199)
ColFlagg: Hot tea happens. When I was pregnant I filled a cup with scalding water, turned, and promptly ran into a doorframe. I still have vivid red scars from where it splashed all over me.

Apparently we have something in common. :\

executioneer Aug 15th, 2010 01:35 AM

i KNEW there was a reason i never drank tea

Chojin Aug 15th, 2010 05:59 AM

hurt my back 3 times squatting
strained my trap like a million times, did it again today doing shrugs
fell down a huge hill when i was a kid, no injuries though

Zhukov Aug 15th, 2010 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkvare (Post 695204)
i harmed my elbow triying to reach a magazine while i was on the pooper i was in pain for a whole week :P

LOL.

I was attempting to jump from the roof of a building to the adjacent building roof, I walked backwards to get a run up and fell of the other side. Sprained my neck.

Riding a skateboard down a steep hill, lost control from the sheer speed and ended up twisting my knee in such a way that I can no longer bend that knee as far as I can bend the other one. Should have perhaps gone to the doctor :\

Walked myself unconsious into a roller door at work.

Tanuki Aug 15th, 2010 10:47 AM

I volunteer at a humane society. I threw out my back picking up a medium-sized dog who liked being held. The drive home was agony.

Kitsa Aug 15th, 2010 11:08 AM

I threw out my back a couple of weeks ago and that was horrendous. I hate that.

Colonel Flagg Aug 15th, 2010 04:56 PM

Back injuries suck. :(

executioneer Aug 16th, 2010 02:19 AM

one time when i was like 11 i went to get a little kid's ball out of a patch of himalayan blackberries, not knowing the bramble patch was on about a 45 degree slope. I slid down about 10 feet before i got snagged well enough to stop, it hurt like fucking hell and they had to cut me out i think. later i threw up. hooray!

Chojin Aug 16th, 2010 02:23 AM

hahaha already my shoulder feels better

thanks, carb load

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 16th, 2010 01:45 PM

I tried running along my friends car while he drove faster to jump into the passenger seat. I latched my hands onto the open door and then he brought the mph's up to 40. I woke up on the ground with a streak of missing hair on my head.

Colonel Flagg Aug 16th, 2010 02:47 PM

I hate it when that happens.

Tadao Aug 16th, 2010 03:06 PM

Ok, here's a cool story. It involves thin swimming trunks and a side-hack.


So, it was a hot summer day and we just finished swimming when my older brothers friend showed up with his side-hack. I was about 12 years old and it was my turn to ride in the hack. Well my brothers friend found hit amusing to swerve the hack wheel close to the curb making it so that if i hits the curb I will go flying out. I decided to make a leap for the grass on the sidewalk but caught my foot in the hacks wheel.

I got dragged on my bare back for about 3 feet of hot roughed up street. Also someone broke a 7up bottle when I happened to get dragged. 32 stitches and 5 scares. I still have one really noticeable scar where a huge 1 inch triangle of glass was driven into my back.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 16th, 2010 04:02 PM

That sounds incredibly painful but the side-hack sounds awesome. I don't think they had those by the time I was birthed.

Fathom Zero Aug 16th, 2010 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tanuki (Post 695194)
Were you sitting down when said friend made impact?

I came down before he did. He made sure I didn't come back up. :\

Kitsa Aug 16th, 2010 04:55 PM

I'm not ever supposed to ride a bike, but one time my grandmother gave me one and I lost control going down a hill and reportedly skidded like 10 feet on my face. My nose looked like raw hamburger with bits of gravel in it. I was knocked out cold and apparently a car almost ran over me before they saw me and stopped and called for an ambulance.

Given what else is wrong with me, I have no idea how I survived that but the skin on my nose came back, freckles and all.

Guitar Woman Aug 16th, 2010 06:36 PM

I was climbing on a rock at the beach in the middle of the night, and it was dark as shit because the moon wasn't out.

I wanted to get down after a while, and I thought the ground was about 5 vertical feet closer to me than it actually was. Cue jumping, and an unhappy pelvis.

I couldn't walk for about ten minutes. :lol


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:34 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.