I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Blabber (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   the what I have been doing thread (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21614)

cherry Jun 20th, 2006 12:11 PM

the what I have been doing thread
for those of you who don't know me- bow down now and kiss my shiny shoes. you saviour has arrived. now go and make me a cup of tea while I talk to the grown ups. earl grey. no milk. run along now.

right, now we are alone I can reveal my amazing secret.

after all the Mock Wars, flaming and general bitching I realised the error of my ways. I had been living my life as a lecherous slut. So I packed my bags and headed for Saint Mary's. When I got there they took my bag off me and confiscated my booze, fags and pickle hat for they have no place at a convent. Who would have thunk it? I thought the sisters would love the pickle hat.
But my first lesson was not many nuns have a sense of humour. So after several tests they let me in. It isn't easy and they don't like questions about why Moses ordered the slaughter of innocents or the churches role in the Holocaust, but Mother Superior has stopped beating me now and I have been distilling my own gin. so things are looking up.

celibacy is not as hard as you might think, and when I accidently slipped and fell on the gardener I found out that as long as I confess my sins to Father Michail he lets me off! what a genius system.

me and god are getting along great these days, but because of my wicked ways he only lets me have limited access to the internet, but he told me he is a big fan of this site. He is a regular poster apparently.

So that's whats going on in my world- or is it in my head?

In another fantasy I am a secondary school teacher in charge of the spiritual and moral development of 1300 teenagers. that can't be right can it?

maybe I am actually a fat housewife who wheezes when she has to take the pop corn out of the microwave.

ah, is that my tea. damn you, I said no milk.

Jixby Phillips Jun 20th, 2006 12:19 PM


I haven't read your post yet but I just wanted to reply before some jerkaholic replies all "who the fuck are you"

glowbelly Jun 20th, 2006 12:56 PM

you'd be the hottest nun in nunnery land (cherry, not jixby)

Dr. Boogie Jun 20th, 2006 01:27 PM

More like "Get thee to a fun-nery!" :lol

RaNkeri Jun 20th, 2006 01:58 PM

What the fuck is this?

glowbelly Jun 20th, 2006 02:47 PM

it's a topic on a message board. what you did was "respond." i suggest you stop now, before the kickboxing nun gets back and sees that you're the one that fucked up her tea.

Mockery Jun 20th, 2006 03:01 PM

Gemma will always be I-Mockery's favorite slut. :pac

How about some photos of the place you teach at 'n stuff or at least a photo of you beating a brat with a yard stick. You still living in Brighton with Boo or what? BTW, we *might* be coming to the UK sometime this fall, and if so, we'll definitely come visit you (and Dole) again. Just gimme your current contact info via PM so I can letcha know whenever we're headed out your way again.

sadie Jun 20th, 2006 09:35 PM

jesus. 1300 teenagers? how the hell do you grade all those freaking papers? i can't keep up with my 90-some. :P

executioneer Jun 20th, 2006 09:41 PM

are you still like lando cherry

Dole Jun 21st, 2006 04:34 AM

where is the school cherry? Is it brighton?

mburbank Jun 21st, 2006 09:54 AM

Well done. They actually had me teaching the Unitarian Sunday school this winter while we were without a Religous educator, and God at no point struck me dead, so I am not entirely surprised to find you are allowed to get away with it.

Are you all finsihed degreewise? Bravo, my dear. Teach 'em to ask the Lord questions and demand answers.

Emu Jun 21st, 2006 10:39 AM


Originally Posted by Jixby Phillips

I haven't read your post yet but I just wanted to reply before some jerkaholic replies all "who the fuck are you"

i knew who cherry was but i guess that was a faux pas on my part right

cherry Jun 21st, 2006 01:15 PM

the sensible answer
o.k o.k, I have me a proper job now. I teach philosophy, ethics and religious studies at a nice school in a town named Eastbourne. All the schools in Brighton are weird, so I commute.

I now have 3 higher education degrees and for some reason people think I am good at this teaching malarkey. I have only been at it for 2 years and it looks like I will promoted to Head of Department in September- so fingers crossed- the money would help clear some of my student debt. The kids seems to like me because I use comics in the classroom. Superheroes and ethics fit better than spandex!

Rog you would be so welcome to come and stay, we have a cosy little flat that is more hospitable than Boo's old house and Boo wont play heroclix with me anymore because he is a bad loser!

Boo is doing great with the old comics biz, visit www.2000adonline.com and look for Boo Cook to see what he has been up to. I think you would like his latest creation, Harry Kipling: Deceased, a very British zombie God hunter. Its toshing good fun.

anyway I am not going to bang on about me all day, what's new with you lot?
Is Proto still a virgin?
Has Max had that face lift?
Is Jixby still the sexiest boy magician the world has ever known?

oh, and on the Lando thing, I have come to embrace my Calrissian side. You know Lando made some mistakes, he had no choice, but he fixes it in the end and makes the right choice. funny how internet personality tests can be spookily spot on.

mburbank Jun 21st, 2006 02:04 PM

No facelift, but I am closer to being inked than before, although the wife slapped an absolute veto on my getting a Richard Nixon portrait. I was decided on Max from "Where the Wild Things Are" (The drawing where he's chasing a dog with a fork) when it corssed my mind that I should have young skinny Willima Shatner on one shoulder and fat old William Shatner on the other. So once again I am undecided. Plus, I lack a recomendation for a good artist. There's one joint in walking distance from mine home, but that seems a poor reason for picking ones tatooerist.

At this rate I'll have to leave it in my will that my corpse must be engraved prior to burial.

PS: I just wrote Boo fanmail. Because I am a dork. It's about his comics, though, not fan mail about being shacked up with you. I am ten years older than him. I don't have a tattooed, reformed slut, kickboxing, ethics teacher, but I have two daughters. That's got to count for something.

glowbelly Jun 21st, 2006 05:31 PM

in the past hour i have made dinner for a baby, cleaned up megablocks TWICE, folded the same pile of clothes THREE TIMES and changed two diapers.

so yeah. i'm busy being a mom.

lookie here:

sspadowsky Jun 21st, 2006 06:06 PM

I hardly think letting a toddler jump out of a tree from 30 feet up is a sound idea.

For chrissakes, woman, at least wait until he's 3, maybe 4.

mburbank Jun 22nd, 2006 09:37 AM

He is not jumping out of a tree, he is clearly levitating, and Glow is trying to PULL HIM DOWN!

stop trying to PULL HIM DOWN, glowbelly! Embrace his differences! Sure it's only natural you want to hide his powers from the government as they will surely want to exploit them but you cannot protect him from HIS DESTINY!

Neither of my kids can levitate. But my youngest can make anything break just by concentrating on it. And the oldest pouts real good.

Protoclown Jun 22nd, 2006 02:59 PM

Gemma!! It's so great to see you posting on here again!!

The answer to your question is no, but sometimes I kinda wish it was still yes.

cherry Jun 24th, 2006 04:00 AM

its no surprise that baby is so adorable- he did come out of a glowing belly. my ambition is to move to Westchester and set up my own school for 'gifted children'. keep him safe from the sentinels till then.

Max, your Shatner tattoo is a fabulous idea, but I think it would be better on your arse.

and Proto, well at least in one way you got your Cherry back!

Protoclown Jun 24th, 2006 10:10 AM

Damn right!!

McClain Jun 24th, 2006 10:13 AM

Cherry, I wish you were my ethics teacher. My future wouldn't be as grim.

mburbank Jun 24th, 2006 11:18 AM

Trust me on this, nothing is better on my ass. It's how god made me and I've come to accept it.

Benjamin_Franklin Jun 25th, 2006 11:08 AM

Two words. My and Space. :lol2

executioneer Jun 25th, 2006 12:17 PM

i don't know who you're talking to, jerkface, but you'd better shut it up if you know what's good for you

theapportioner Jun 26th, 2006 03:39 AM

Gemma! Nice to hear from you again. I've been wondering what you've been up to.

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:08 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.