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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

george Jan 12th, 2008 05:56 AM

when i would make pretend with the green lion guy from my little brothers voltron set, and use him to make sweet love with the princess, my name was always GEORGE STARKE, tag line "give it up bitch!"

now when i play video games i go with Jorge Domingo. he has a terrible spanish accent, and he likes the ladies and cheap booze. and from his track record in grand theft auto, he really likes to run whores over.

but really, how can any name be tougher than:

JESUS "FUCKING" CHRIST

MetalMilitia Jan 12th, 2008 10:47 AM

I made a funny but I can't tell if it's racist. As the last bastion of sensitivity on the internet I ask for your help, I-mockery.


Moobs Jan 12th, 2008 11:08 AM

the walk hard advert is PISSING ME OFF >:

Fathom Zero Jan 12th, 2008 11:34 AM

My aunt is only eight years older than me.

Tadao Jan 12th, 2008 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 522870)
I made a funny but I can't tell if it's racist. As the last bastion of sensitivity on the internet I ask for your help, I-mockery.

I like it.

Spetsnaz Jan 12th, 2008 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by george (Post 522856)

but really, how can any name be tougher than:

JESUS "FUCKING" CHRIST


Charleston Heston, the very voice of god.

Sethomas Jan 12th, 2008 05:04 PM

"Superior product from a wonderful seller! Makes capitalism seem viable!"

I really hope that people appreciate the thought I put into eBay feedback.

Tadao Jan 12th, 2008 05:11 PM

This is page 1234 anyone who didn't post on this page is an Uber Loser

Mockery Jan 12th, 2008 06:28 PM

OOOOBER

Spetsnaz Jan 12th, 2008 06:48 PM

Whats German for loser?

Tadao Jan 12th, 2008 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spetsnaz (Post 522950)
Whats German for loser?

Kulturkampf

Guitar Woman Jan 12th, 2008 07:19 PM

hey guys

Spetsnaz Jan 12th, 2008 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 522951)
Kulturkampf


Übermäßiger verlierer

Trash Jan 12th, 2008 07:25 PM

Dick "The Fiery Fist of Chauvinism" Steele

arg_zombies Jan 12th, 2008 07:58 PM

I totally agree with you crazy german linguistsm whatever you're saying

Esuohlim Jan 12th, 2008 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 522938)
This is page 1234 anyone who didn't post on this page is an Uber Loser

Oh shit I hope I make it in time

Tadao Jan 12th, 2008 08:20 PM

just delete GW's post :)

Fathom Zero Jan 12th, 2008 08:58 PM

It's page 772 for me. :\

Fathom Zero Jan 12th, 2008 10:16 PM

My school's academic team beat area and now we're going to state.

Thank you, Lord Kelvin. Thank you.

Sethomas Jan 12th, 2008 11:02 PM

Yeah, Kelv-dawg. We're sorry your thermal scale never caught on outside of certain realms of chemical analysis (I use it regularly, I swear!), but your freezing point for water is higher than many people can even count! If you tell someone that it's 300° outside, the LAST thing they want to do is go on a picnic!

PS- Your claim that "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible" has recently been rebuffed.

Fathom Zero Jan 12th, 2008 11:15 PM

Lord Kelvin, Lord Byron, the Boxer Rebellion, A Clockwork Orange, dark matter, and "An airplane is to fuselage as a ship is to what?" The answer is hull. :rock

Plus a few more questions, I was on fire with these.

Sethomas Jan 13th, 2008 12:49 AM

You're talking about a lightning round of ten questions? I loved those when I was in quiz bowl. One time when I was a junior in high school, we were given the choice between "German", "The 13th Century", and something else. It was one of those cases where nobody else on the team knew jack shit about anything, so the captain (I was not captain because of political reasons, and I had a crush on ours anyways) looked at me and asked for an answer for what to choose. I told her that I couldn't possibly choose between the two aforementioned subjects and not kick myself later for it, so she closed her eyes for a few seconds and said "German" with a tone of fear in her voice.

It turned out that I got 8 out of 10 of the answers right, wherein I had to translate an English word into German. This was in a tournament setting, so we were able to talk about it later with other teams that chose the subject. The team that did next-best in that subject got 4 or 5 with a combined nine years of in-school German studies among its members. When they heard that we (read: I) got 8 of them right, they asked how many years of German study our team had together. Our coach replied, "yeah, our school doesn't offer German as a class."

That being said, I should note that I can't read formal/academic German for shit. If I listen to a German song I can get the gist of it after a listen or two, but if I pick up a Zeitung or whatever then I tend to attempt to read two sentences and get a headache.

Fathom Zero Jan 13th, 2008 01:07 AM

Then you'll usually get those "Words that start with 'E'," but they're all fucking evil words. We're bad at geography. Our suppossedly smart captain said, when asked where Jesus of Nazareth was born, "Syria."

I rocked at dog breed classifications (groupings) and mammalia lightning rounds, though.

Cedar Jan 13th, 2008 01:17 AM

Damn it I'm an uber loser!

Sethomas Jan 13th, 2008 01:34 AM

I think my favorite quiz bowl story was from the last match of state finals one year. It was frustrating because we were this podunk hillbilly public school going against all these private schools that require stringent exams just to be a student, and we weren't getting our asses kicked but we generally weren't winning either. I hated that we were so close to IMMORTALITY yet couldn't have it. The normal-round questions had different point values (against the norm of the usual game system), and the very last question was a "field expert level" one. The prompt explained that protons and neutrons are made of different ratios of the same two types of quarks. It asked to name those two quarks.

The room stood in silence for a nanosecond below what was permitted as my mind frantically tried to remember ANYTHING from a list of quarks I had read leisurely on a chart probably two years before then. Was there one called "weird"? "Blue"? Colors seemed like a fine guess! I then recalled that there was a pair of quarks that were by normal definition opposites, so it must have been those two for the question. I had no clue what they were, but "left" and "right" stuck out in my head. Nothing to lose, may as well say it!

So, I buzz in as late as possible and poised my lips to say "left". What came out, however, was "up". "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!", I thought to myself, assuming that I was seconds away from embarrassing myself. My only redemption then was to say something else as soon as I snapped out of anger at myself. "And..." I stumbled. "Umm. Down?"

The judge looked at me for a few seconds as if I were a complete retard who had begun throwing feces at the chalkboard in an attempt at modern art. Then, he looked down at the question sheet and said as condescendingly as possible, "actually, that's right."


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