dearest willie,

why wont he just be nice? i want to be his friend.

Dear Willie,

:tear

the leader is probably a jerk because he thinks it's what is expected of him on this website because a lot of people on here are jerks :(

I have a hard time telling the difference between slot car controllers and handguns, both from a distance and when I'm holding them. What measures can I take to avoid further accidents?

just make sure to practice proper muzzle control whenever you're pointing ANYTHING with a trigger - don't aim it at something you aren't trying to kill

I am compelled to buy things on infomercials at 3am. the latest being an oven that Mr. T endorsed:\ any suggestions?

try and limit yourself to one celebrity-endorsed item purchase per month, and remember: that celebrity is required by law to attend your funeral if you die in a house fire caused by their terrible electric device

Why do both cable and DSL connections go down when it rains? And furthermore, why do the companies that run them lie and tell me that they are not down when they clearly are?

i'm guessing incompetent hardware installers for the first and incompetent helpdesk workers for the second

My DSL works great in the rain. My satalite... Not so much. Thank you Hulu!

Going to Nashville Ten a C on friday. I might need to adjust my dialect/diction when I get there. I'm sure I'll have to ask for Soda or is everything Coke there? I.E. If I want a sprite do I ask for clear Coke?

Dear Willie,

Will I have to ask for clear coke?

apparently about 77% of the population does call them cokes. i don't know about "clear coke" though. you probably can still ask for sprite and get it, just don't expect a caffeinated cola if someone asks you if you "want a coke"

CRYSTAL GRAVY?

crystal blue persuasion, uh-huh

What colour should I dye the blonde streak above my left ear next? I've got 'pine green' and 'lilac'. I am happy to purchace other colours though.
Ta.

crimson, maybe? of the two you have lilac sounds better

Dear Willie,

I can't find the third whistle. :(

I have recently come into some money and I would like to buy a train. Do they have train dealers or should I contact the nearest train factory?

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/nes/file/525245/48484 ?

http://www.railmerchants.net/ ithink is a place to start

or more specifically http://www.railmerchants.net/trainsets/index.htm

or you could try contacting the American Association of Private Railroad Car Owners http://www.aaprco.com/

Willie, I am ill. Do I have swine flu?

Willie, I have a bad headache, and I've just taken 3 extra-strength acetominophen tabs - how long do I have to wait before it gets better?

i could've sworn i answered this in another thread :x

it's probably already better :( usually takes 25minutes give or take a few depending on when you ate last and other factors

Willie, do I have Swine Flu? :(